Author, former Royal Canterlot Library curator, and the (retired) reviewer at One Man's Pony Ramblings.
The story of Pierce's life. From schoolyard troubles to the shadowy underworld of party-crashing, and filled with the ponies who shaped his life, for good and for ill.
*****
Originally written February through April of 2011.
Now available in Spanish, courtesy of SPANIARD KIWI.
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I remember reading this on Equestria Daily. Very good read!
Thanks!
I remember this from Deviantart
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258027
Thanks! Honestly, there are some parts of this that I look back at and just cringe, but I can be my own worst critic at times. It's always nice to know that someone enjoyed your writing!
I enjoyed this story.
There's a few rogue spaces that seem to be hiding from space aliens in this chapter. Very odd.
Some double spaces, some triple spaces. I still find either weird, but make you mind up?
And yes, I'm going to comment on each chapter. I'm just having that kind of day.
Soooo many exclamation marks. So wrong, and yet...
Missing opening speech mark at 'If you've got any heart at all'.
I'm also glad someone else actually uses the word 'wont'. You just don't see it around enough.
Never expected to see brackets used that way. I like it.
Also, ellipsis without a space? Scandalous!
(Maybe)
I officially want to punch his mum.
Police? Phones? You shall not be forgiven! (until next chapter)
Well done. I now feel punched in the face. Good job.
Now those brackets I dislike a lot. It's clearly Pinkie's fault.
You know, I think this is actually my favourite story of yours.
I desperately wanted Pinkie to give him a hug, and that's an excellent degree of immersion and attachment. Dodgy formatting aside, very, very good.
-Scott
1414480
Glad you enjoyed! This was the first bit of creative writing I'd done in about half a decade, and it really shows at times--especially in the first couple of chapters. Still, I've always liked the idea of this fic, and I'm glad it worked for you. Part of me wants to go back and rewrite it, to make it as good as I could now, but that'd be an exercise in futility. This story is what it is: it has some bits that I'm frankly ashamed to have "published," it has some scenes that I'm downright proud of my execution of, and it's a window into what I could do a year and a half ago.
Though, fixing formatting is another matter entirely. When I've got some time, I'll go see about cleaning up the presentation a bit.
1416281 I think it's the most 'normally' structured of your stories. Showmare's Tale and Princess and the Rose were both nicely written but a little flat for my tastes. This has a more quantifiable structure in terms of start-build-twist/climax-end format. Essentially, this conforms to the three act structure in a way that I didn't feel from the other two. It feels like a story instead of a nice idea in prose.
Poor Pokey. I know the problem of not focusing. I know it well.
Noooo! You killed Gummy!
(apparently)
Wow. This story is way underrated.
2885160
Yes. Very much yes.
This needs a lot more love.
NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
WAT NO NOT GUMMY
Such good. Much like. Many feel.
What I liked most in this story was probably that it was inspired by the three seconds of screentime Pokey got. You took that three seconds, stirred it, and pulled a full-length fic out of it that has every right to be called an independent story. Sometimes I'm amazed by the fandom's ability to create such stories from moment-long screencaps, offhand references or simple gags. Unfortunately(?), this also seem to cause people ardently declare that two ponies must be in True Love since they've been seen standing next to each other, or not even appearing in the same scene, just having a similar cutie mark (I'm looking at you, Scratchtavia shippers!).
But I digress! I loved the way how this story started to inevitably bloom as a real, classical tragedy, even though (spoiler alert) it had a happy end. The protagonist's descend, emotional strain, eventual crescendo and breaking point caused by underhanded scheming and tragic misunderstanding, his fall from grace were all there, and the best part? The story was literally about a guy who kept popping balloons at parties.
Let me reiterate: you made me feel for the tragedy and eventual redemption of the protagonist whose dramatic fall was starting to buzzkill parties. You've also thrown in a government conspiracy for said buzzkilling, and despite the sheer absurdity of the idea, you kept up the emotional grip. I don't know how much of this feat came from your writing skills and how much came from the setting itself (if there's any fantasy setting in which such a thing is plausible, it's Equestria, after all), but maybe that's not important. What's important is that you done a swell job.
The only thing that bothered me a little during reading was the flower trio's part as the bullies. Technically, they have no set canon personalities, and I understood your need for an antagonist, but I still usually ended up imagining Diamond Tiara in place of Rose.
Oh, and I'm probably the only person who was bothered by this, but unless you're Nightmare Moon, black is a really unfitting color for a pony. Even if they're evil.
All in all, however, I loved it. Good job!