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Princess Celestia has been keeping a dark secret from her subjects for a very long time.
It's not an easy truth to tell, but if anyone can accept her after learning it, it will surely be her most faithful student.
Third Place Finisher in Equestria Daily's 2013 Nightmare Night Contest!
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inb4 this blows up the Featured box because damn this is awesome
Damn, dude...
I'm impressed with this one.
Deep and dark. Loved it.
~Skeeter The Lurker
And that is how you write a chilling ending. Nice work, Obs.
*shivers*
The baby bird part brought the tears. Good show, dude.
This was a very intense story and touches on very interesting and possibly horrifying subjects. At first I wondered why the dark tag was there but by the end... Sheesh.
Great story, have an upvote and I'm looking forward to seeing this in the featured box because that's where this story belongs!
...Damn.
I mean...DAMN.
This is just...brilliant, chilling, and disturbing.
Kudos to you, this is a fantastic little story.
What...the...fuck
So. Celestia is officially creepy.
When you think about it, this power of hers makes perfect sense. Luna enters dreams, which are of the night. Celestia enters the waking mind, and... things get interesting. Not to mention a little, well, creepy. Twilight's journey of discovery through this power Celestia wields is intense, which isn't a surprise considering what she learns, which results in the sort of existential terror that any right-thinking person would feel when they're faced with someone who can literally wipe all knowledge of their existence from the world.
What really interests me is the unspoken contrast between Celestia and Luna in this, though I don't know whether you intended it to be there or not. As I read, I got the feeling that while Celestia's power appears subtle and gentle, it's really quite blunt and forceful. It erases and destroys, burning away memory like fire burns paper. In contrast, though Luna appears overwhelming and powerful, her acts in the dreamworld are all about influence and guidance, without any of the direct manipulation that Celestia's magic displays.
So I liked it.
A lot.
Is it wrong that stories like this, even when they're well written like this one, make me even less comfortable when thinking of Celestia or Twilight's relationship with her? I mean top-notch story and all, but come on!
And why is this in the 'Protect Celestia' group?
Damn, this story is good. There was a haunted feeling of not-quite-rightness that stalked me throughout it. Nobody expects scariness in happy warm peaceful sunlight, which made it all the more disconcerting and unsettling to read. Very well writ, yay you
Amazing that this little story did in 9k words what many with the same idea couldn't do in over 90k. Delightful! This is going on my personal display box of favorited stories.
3315406
That is a really interesting observation. Intentional or no on Obsies part, it is a very nice, subtle clever aspect for the story.
3315406
3315490
The latter part wasn't intentional (though I'll claim it was if you let me get away with it). Luna's powers were indeed a major inspiration for this story, though.
3315406 I was kind of under the impression that her spell wouldn't work on Luna or similarly talented ponies.
I would love to see this theme expanded on and see Celestia's chess master tendencies challenged.
Umm..... Oh boy. Run, Twilight, run! 1984!
Well now, color me creeped out.
I love these stories that feature Chessmaster Celestia.
Very subtly creepy. Ending took a few seconds to grasp but, man, was that chilling.
A like an a favorite for you, Obs. Excellent job as always.
3315434
Ok... answer me this, does it belong in the group? Judging from the other comments I am inclined to say no, so as someone who as read it should it stay?
3315644
My interpretation of it was that the story still depicts a kind and loving Celestia, as represented by the show... just with a somewhat darker spin than she might usually get.
That said, if you don't agree with the addition, I'm fully okay with it being removed.
Well done.
I can only imagine the psychological problems that come out of that sort of spell. Pain, suffering, anguish - these are the things that develops character; these are the things that drive people to advance. With out them, I couldn't even imagine what kind of vegetative state they would be in.
Some small editing errors though. Misplaced commas and some past-present-future stuff; all of it negligible.
3315644
I certainly don't think so.
...
scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw5546-2f7.jpg
That... was pretty sick.
This was actually really good. Not at all what I was expecting, but better than that all the same.
Death to the sun tyrant.
I can see where the princess is coming from here, but I still feel like she's being a bit selfish taking parts of people lives away; especially since from how I gauge it she's pretty much only doing this out of guilt because all the things she's failed to do in her life, most prominently failing the Empire and Luna.
Basically I like the idea, but it's impractical and she's doing it for the wrong reasons...
Props of not making Celestia into a tyrant with a prompt that would so easily lend itself to the idea though!
3315704 Hahaha, nooooooooooooooooooooo. I was wondering if it belongs in Twilestia is bestia, either. But it does have them love each other, despite the subtle hint of solar tyranny.
This is how you do a Mind Rape fic. Clever, subtle and balanced, whilst still keeping the chills. My only problem with it is why Sunset Shimmer didn't just get solar manipulated out of her greedy and selfish impulse to become princess. But since Equestria Girls is only quasi-canon, it's more than excusable. Twilight might also be a little bit more clingy than she usually is (an achievement, to be sure). But we can excuse that as her being at a stage in development we don't have many windows into.
Overall, despite a premise that makes me slightly uncomfortable, this was an awesome read. Nicely done.
Well, I'm a little... disturbed. But in a good way.
Okay, I deleted my previous comment because it was stupid.
Moving on...
This fic is excellent. Once again, top quality writing with only one or two negligible editing errors. I was drawn into the story from the get-go.
There are quite a lot of "darker, edgier" Celestia stories, but this is definitely one of the better ones. The existential horrors of having the sanctity of your own mind violated, manipulated and essentially wiped clean...
Bleh. It's chilling. In a good way. Sort of. And the fact that I'm still processing it just proves how well-handled the subject matter was.
A thought-provoking, intense, and subtle horror one-shot. Perhaps my new favourite story of yours, Obs.
(i want to consume your hands and obtain your power)
See, this is the kind of Celestia I love seeing: chess master, schemer, but she has heart. granted, it could still be argued that she's wrong, but in this context, she kind of is god, so... how can she be immoral when morals are derived from her?
Eh, either way, liked very much!
3315644
This is a tough call, probably best for you to read it yourself. I think it can stay, since Celestia certainly seems like a good pony here (or at least, her intent is to do good). Just a good pony with a very creepy ability.
There is a secret agency to keep extra-terrestrials from being seen at least until the world is ready. You won't remember seeing one, because every detail is kept from the public. How? They have devices that affects your neurons within the brain and, essentially, makes you forget anything and everything you saw. Until the world is ready, they'll keep the things that go bump in the night at bay by bumping back with the equipment they find.
They are the Ponies in White, and they're watching...
That mind rape.......... Was Delicious
3315644
It doesn't make Celestia out to be evil, it just puts an interesting spin on 'Good'. She becomes an 'Ends Justify The Means' character, but her End is 'Happiness'. It is a grey area, but I think it is far too good of a story to leave it out.
That said, I really did enjoy this a lot. It's a pretty dark look into the mind of Celestia. Perhaps her last few lines with Twilight will make her rethink her actions. Is it right to forget? We shall see, soon enough.
Also, before I forget.
24.media.tumblr.com/a257ad5165644b1f79354634dfdee284/tumblr_mqo61uYbwk1rj6vd5o1_400.png
It sure creates a world of happy ponies. But it also creates a world of happy stupid ponies that never get the chance of learning from their mistakes.
This is probably one of the most disgusting versions of Celestia.
That was very interesting. Very well written and a great depiction of Twilight's little mind. How old is she in this fic?
As a Libertarian voter, this is a straight up horror story for me. The best part is that Celestia is doing a terrible thing for what she sees as good reasons. That's probably our world's #1 problem as well.
3316253
>fic about Celestia's dark secret
Is her dark secret that she is actually in a sadistic relationship with cake?
Wow.
This...is the utter pinnacle of the entire system that defines Equestria as a place different from Earth. A world where everything is managed, right down to the animals and the plants, to make for a perfect world. And this story adds the last crowning bit to that utopia.
It's a system that only works because Equestria utterly dominates its neighbors, its magic is unlimited, and its rulers are blessed with the nigh-immortality to have learned to rule wisely. Because this is a world that could not survive disasters that Earth could easily shrug off. If Celestia were to ever be disabled, if Equestria were ever to be conquered, it would take generations instead of years to recover, because nopony would have the character born of a trial by fire to take the reigns, to fight back against the seemingly-inevitable.
It seemed like Celestia was giving this lesson to Twilight to prepare her for the future she has planned for her. So that Twilight could have enough time to come up with a wise decision on what to do with this ability when she eventually achieves her destiny. But then the Princess chickened out because she couldn't bear to see her student suffer.
This will have consequences.
God, that ending...
And Twilight won't ever know
Nasty~ I liked it. Celestia is going to be unhappy when Twilight accidentally invents Mind Blank, though.
Well, I can't say it was bad. In fact, it was exceedingly good.
However, since Communism is essentially a non-issue at present, I can't help but assume that you intended this for United States citizens to read. Obviously because of the English, but also because of the resent NSA scandal and similar events. This makes more sense than I'm comfortable with, and I have to wonder - what's really going on?
You've provoked my interest in a very disturbing manner. For that, I applaud you. You've also made me crap myself.
This is an incredible bit of writing. It's also disturbing as all get-out, especially that ending. An amazing way to make happiness and light seem dark and sinister. I need to go read some fluff now.
Wow, this was deep. I mean, my voice drops a few octaves just thinking about it. Twilight's thoughts are excellently done. You portray her as a fantastically rambling little lavender filly who is being taught something that the vast majority of Equestria will never be ready for. I think the real, actual turning point for Celestia—in terms of being a benevolent ruler rather than a subtle not-so-great mind raper—is right here at the end of this tale. Twilight's outburst after the poor baby bird could very well have opened the Princess' eyes to the fact that forgetting about the lessons we learn sort of defeats one of the higher points of sapient life, but instead she seems to believe that her student simply could not understand her rightness in this matter, yet.
Maybe, if the Sun Goddess was to ask Princess Twilight Sparkle and get the same answer, she'd be forced to face the possibility that what she is doing isn't all that great for her subjects.
I, for one, would be very interested to see that how that would play out.
Also, one little lost pronoun I happened to find:
...shouldn't he* have...
All in all, this was fantastic. Ten outta' Ten.
3316253
She's STILL EVIL in this. Has there ever been a more complete definition of evil than someone who thinks the ends justifies the means?
3316787
I didn't say 'Ends justify the means' is GOOD, I will never say that. But just because something isn't good does not make it evil. It is misguided, certainly.
I like this story because it shows that even an immortal with the best interests of all of her subjects at heart, Celestia can still make mistakes. Maybe she thinks it is her duty to try and make life better for as many as she can? I cannot pass judgment on her motives, I am not over a thousand years old and a ruler of a country.
I do not think any of us are truly qualified to judge what she does. We can disagree with it, but calling her 'wrong' implies that we can relate to her point of view.
-Lumino
3316568
And this is why we need to set some people who teach lit crit on fire.
It wasn't about that. It was about the more obvious issue presented in the story, and whether Celestia is right.
Of course, we all know Celestia is right. After all, if you doubted her, that might lead you to be unhappy.
3316800
Oh, she's definitely wrong. That is without question.
The reality is that people have confirmation bias bad enough without someone deliberately manipulating them to make them feel right even more often.
Remembering the true cost of war - knowing the true cost of war - tells you what the costs and benefits of war are.
Failures teach us more than successes do, because when you fail, you know your intuition was wrong and you change it.
Of course, the really nasty thing is, if you ever screw up, and have this power, you might do it to YOURSELF so that you forget the bad outcomes. And you'd never know you did it.
3317034
I see it as open to interpretation. your view has just as much value as mine. And I will gladly help you set my English teacher on fire :P