A young girl walked through the abandoned alley, expecting nothing interesting to happen. Until, a strange woman appeared from nowhere in search for her hat. She first appeared to be a drunkard walking the streets, not sure what she was doing. But the girl seemed to recognize the woman, not in real-life but in her dreams.
(Twist doesn't have her well-known lisp in this story. That is why the story is mark AU. Also, cover-art drawn by ninjaham.)
Special thanks for The Lunar Samurai for looking through my mess of a rough draft and for Elric of Melnipony for editing.
Chapters (1)
Jesus, man, you have gone over this story a SHIT load. Hell, I had 20 views on my story just by myself, but you have 60!
Will read later, unfortunately. You picked the best time to release it to the world, but the worst time for me to read it. Gotta go to work.
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That's a glitch.
Hope they fix it soon.
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No, it isn't. If you have made a lot of edits to the chapter ON the site, it will show up like this.
And either way, they won't be fixing it. They didn't for me.
Oh wow, this IS your first story
GO GO INSPECTOR GADGET
Well that's cute, well done for a first time, I expect greatness from you
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You liked it? I think my writings garbage. Well, that was unexpected.
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Don't say that, you did good, better than my early stuff for sure.
Oh! This is it. Cool.
Very, very, slight edits needed for clarity, in my opinion. As for the story itself, it's at a given value of 'slice of life' that it's so slice of life, I can't actually figure out anything to say about it.
Congrats!
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I plan to get an editor for it soon!
For now, it'll remain the way it is.
Very very nice! How are you feeling now about posting this story?
I'm just gonna drop a like n' a fave here n' be on my way.
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Happy and confused. I don't understand how people actually enjoyed this.
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Please do. I upvoted it, but once you sort out some minor grammar issues, I think you'll really have something here.
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Thanks, you know any good editors I could find? It'll be pretty helpful.
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I'm actually pretty good, if you don't mind me pawing through a copy uploaded to GDocs.
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Sure, I'll PM you the link right now if you want.
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Why not?
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Thanks to Elric of Melnipony the story is now edited!
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There is a noticeable difference.
Also, just a note, Daring's hat isn't exactly 'light brown', but more of a light beige or dark, creamy white (I'm not great with colors, but that's how I think the best way to describe it is). The light brown hat would be, well... closer to this.
Unless that's part of the AU part too.
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everyone gets to that point when they get to the story everyone loves.
3244400
Indeed.
Twist is best filly after Sweetie Belle.
31.media.tumblr.com/8e40262ce548f7f1e9df3ee625e6b68b/tumblr_mray6buHU11s5lw60o1_400.gif
Now, in all seriousness I usually find Twist really annoying but this was pretty well written and I liked the ending.
Hmm, not too bad. I'd love to see this get expanded into something bigger. It definatelly has the potential to be great. While this does lack a certain level of detail, I still have to say good job for your first story on here. I look forward to seeing where this fandom takes you.
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Thanks, I plan to write another story for it in the future.
I'm pretty certain you joined the new Twist group, but I don't think I gave you any sort of official notification about this story. This was one of the first stories I added, you'll be happy to know.
i.imgur.com/RVM1x8i.png
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fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/140/2/0/do_the_twist_by_russelh-d3grxug.gif
Thank you! Twist loves you.
The following review is brought to you by Zero Punctuation Reviews
Contrary to logistical sense and possibly popular belief, I enter these little stories hoping that they'll be really good and that I won't have anything nasty to say, but alas Saturn always comes back around to slaps me with more discouraging thoughts every week. It's kinda sad that my most positive review belongs to Dream Whisper, a story that's presentation filled me with enough physical sickness that I named a story related syndrome after it. I've had brownies rocketed into my face, eaten dead pandas, dealt with garbling Alzheimer-induced grandpas and even had my share of stories that were just plain bland and forgettable but "A Twist in Fate" is the first story I've read here that just made me feel nothing. It's neutral; inoffensive. It didn't make me disappointed or disgusted; It was just a piece of bread slapped down in front of me. I did eat the bread, and I'll even admit that the bread was a bit tasty, but I've slipped into solipsistic acedia here and I must find out why.
I can feel my hand reaching for the aforementioned "Dream-Whisper-Story-Syndrome" stamp, but I hesitate to pull out that particular cock-slap because the story's not in first person and didn't bore me to tears. The presentation is something that could've could've spiced up this piece of bread and given it some kick, so it can't be good or else I wouldn't feel this empty void. It was littered with "tell, don't show", but there really isn't much else to show beyond the basic predictable plot. Description can be used to flood events with meaning and intrigue, but there's something deeper that's missing…
Well, I suppose the story lacked substance. My willy did twitch a little bit when the socially isolated main character had an altercation with a character from her fantasies. 'Oh-ho!' thought I, 'A parallel for the tendencies for us socially ostracized types to dive head first into schizoid fantasies to escape our unfulfilled emotional connections? How clever!' But then all they did was chat about nothing, and the fantastical character showed up in the future when everything was fine and there was no conceivable need for escapism. In fact, the whole story is played rather straight and emotionless, there's no tangible themes or effective symbolism so it comes across as not really having anything to say. It was all rather basic, like some kind wheat based food item.
But substance and themes don't have to be integral to a story, and I've liked plenty of stories that had nothing to say, so that can't be why I'm so apathetic about this thing. But just what is it that's gotten me so unenthusiastic? Perhaps it's something that is very important to me… something I feel is the most important part of a story… that force that drives the narrative and secures the ethos of the reader… hmm, it was something I got onto SpaceCommie about… Characters! That's it!!
The two characters exhibited are like two cardboard cut-out stick figures held up with string and cliche. Neither are particularly well characterized, and they rely on archetypes to support them and dictate their personalities. Twist is your typical over-bullied-secretly-creative-awkward-nerdy-reject-that-carries-too-many-books-that-get-knocked-over archetype that's been used in every badly written teen and coming of age drama and also their dog. Daring Do, on the other hand, is your typical brash, stern heroic type that leaks inspiration like she’s a branded plastic doll from the generic adventure hero factory. Archetypical characters are not good ones. They're overused, they're boring. They don't feel human, I can't connect with them to any degree. I don't care what happens to them.
A good character is one you could remove from the story and the story would change dramatically, but you could replace Twist and Daring Do with two slabs of wood or two pieces of wet tissue paper or two run-on sentences or too many examples and the narrative wouldn't change at all. You've got to give your characters distinct and unique personalities, let them make active decisions to drive the plot and for fuck sake, give them important things to say. You can reveal a lot about a character in what they choose to do and say, but the dialogue and action in this story only serves to convey information, and as established earlier there's no tangible substance imbue meaning. When your characters are weak they drag interest and substance down with them.
So to bring things to this sandwich metaphor I've been failing to establish, when you strip away the meat and cheese of good characters, the mixed vegetables of substance and the spicy mustard of interesting presentation, you're left with just a piece of bread. The bread of plot, I guess. Not a bad piece of bread, mind, but I guess I’m spoiled to the point that a piece of bread just doesn't do it for me. I suppose a piece of bread could do it for some people, though. Hell, the Russians overthrew their monarchy for the stuff. Then there was a civil war that lead to the rise of Joseph Stalin who let a bunch Ukrainians starve and sent 20 million underarmed soldiers to their deaths. Then there was the Cold War and the rise of nuclear and terrorist threat and also the systematic stupification of the western people as image began to overtake substance with the rise of MTV and Jersey Shore and Twilight and fucking Justin Bieber and I've kinda lost my train of thought…
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Well... that was a doozy of a comment. Thank you very much for the review. I must admit, I was a bit lazy writing this story.
Though, now I know I must be aware of my characters. And maybe, in the future, I may re-write this. And fix all the problems within the story. Thanks, the review is much appreciated.
An interesting Twist on Daring Do, I do have to say. I liked this one, and it has earned a Fav and an Upvote from me.