Two travelling salesponies, weary of the road, are passing through the small town Witherlock for a few days. By chance, they happen to catch a magical performance of a certain blue unicorn. Will an imperious performer of magic notice a lowly salespony? Will their close, brotherly friendship be broken up for good by this illustrious mare?
If anyone can think of a clever and witty title, I'd be very appreciative to hear it, as I have no ideas. I alone have edited this story (probably not very well) and the cover art was hastily thrown together by me.
Chapters (1)
Tracking, I wanna see where this goes.
Trixie shipped with Flim?
emotibot.net/pix/3577.gif
I'm tracking this!
Ha, this is going to be interesting indeed.
Keep up the good work.
Welcome to the other side! Please grab a glass of wine, a snack, a chainsaw, and a chair, and have a seat. If you start feeling bored, lazy, or just plain homicidal, feel free to take a swing at the guy next to you. We won't stop you.
Okay here goes dear author.
The chapter was short, for now, I don't know if it's intentional or otherwise, but right now it feels a little lacking, but of course we need to hold our breaths because this is just the first one.
Said that, obviously there needs to be more establishing characterization, not so much because of Trixie, but because of Flim and Flam, as you're going to need to make them individual, and the story will clearly focus on how the brothers are clearly different in a wide (or not so wide) array of aspects.
Also, your editing is nice, no glaring, obvious mistakes here.
Personally I was expecting a piece like this one, not because of the pairing but because of how the idea around this will revolve, always remember, storytelling first above all, take all the time you want when you write interactions between characters, a rushed "to the point" narration is not always the best things in these kind of stories.
With nothing further to say I encourage you to continue, and make this a truly enjoyable read in future chapters, and if you don't continue, have good luck with future endeavors
OH MY YES?
Why is it always FLIM! I just don't understand, Flam's got the 'stache, the fillies should be rolling over each other for him and his 'stachiness
I knew someone would eventually ship these three. And hey, who says the brothers need to fight over Trixie? I'm sure they could share, and we know Trixie would love all the attention.
Well played. I can only imagine Flim gaining enough courage and vigor to wow Trixie in the later chapters.
This is very good so far. Keep it up!
I think it is okay
i got sad when i saw i was done with the chapter, really good in my opinion
would 'Sparkling Cider' be a good title name? also 'Silver Cider' and 'A Nonpareil Mare'