• Member Since 15th Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen Jul 29th, 2014

GoldenState3


A college student at a second tier state university somewhere in the American Midwest, GoldenState3 has learned to accept his Broniness, and give in to the madness.

T

Sweetie Belle finds a magic device, a small square made of glass and metal that seems to be a portal to another world. In addition to magically holding hundreds of books, it also contains numerous videos. Unfortunately, some of those videos aren't the kinds of things little fillies should be seeing. Even worse, one of them gives Apple Bloom an idea. An idea that might provide a permanent solution to a little problem that they've been having with a certain somepony from Manehatten...

Chapters (23)
Comments ( 38 )

This is... interesting.

as in breaking bad?

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Yes, it's not quite a crossover, but a couple of episodes of Breaking Bad on a rogue tablet that gets tossed into Equestria manages to cause a very different ending to "One Bad Apple..."

They are the ones who knock.

And they ate of the tree of knowledge and knew good from evil... next thing you know they'll be wearing clothes and Celestia will cast them out of Equestria.

Dang, all caught up. I'm curious about how far this dimensional contamination will spread. Will Celestia be able to stop it or will she too succumb to the knowledge of true evil?

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It's beyond Celestia. The corruption is directly attacking the magic of friendship. This wouldn't be much of a problem, except 1) Many ponies are only a short bit away from a nervous breakdown, and 2) At present, the only knowledge of how to function in a world where everyone doesn't want to be your friend is coming from a how to say it, source that isn't appropriate for the inhabitants of a sugar bowl. I guess the crux of this story is just how a bunch of pastel ponies learn to deal with living in a pastel sugar bowel where friendship is no longer magic. (BTW thanks for inspiring me to write the next chapter immediately.)

[mild spoilers below, dealing with the Breaking Bad characters played by various ponies. If you want to know what Pon(ies)y are going to be Heisenpony, Hank, Gomez and Saul, read on. If you don't, and want to be (mildly, as it is fairly obvious) surprised, don't.]
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(Of course, the whole Cutie Mark Crusaders breaking bad subplot will play out as well. Twilight is about to take the role of investigating Babs' death with Rainbow Dash and Luna, and the CMC are slowly starting down the road to becoming Heisenpony. Oh, and if anypony gets in legal trouble, better call Trixie.)

Just wonderful... :facehoof: The greatest evil of them all has arrived in Equestria... the Lawyer :pinkiecrazy: There is no hope.

This is one heck of a good story!.
do keep up.

This is going to end with the three of them dying inside a burning drug lab in the middle of the desert with the Royal Guard closing in on them, isn't it?

well it sure would be cool if it ended just like breaking bad!.
and that is them dying inside a burning drug lab , but make many more chapters before that time arrives.

Lol, lead arsenate. If they've been spraying the orchard with that, then that would explain why the ponies act so much like children. The lead would leech into the ground and then into the apples. Lead poisoning for everyone! Major neurological damage! Also the arsenic.. but I digress. :twilightsheepish:

Not ususally one for a darkfic but I find this humorously macabre.

Cutie Mark Crusader Drug Trafficers!

nice!.
oh boy this never bores me!.

ah think im gonna stop here, im all for crazy but this is......I just don't know.

Lol. This is the best thing ever.

ho ho ho,man!,i gotta love ya for this story!.
not once did i get bored reading it!.

oh boy!.
chemical weapons! nice! , wonder if they will make any gas bombs hm.....

Dear lord, did a crackhouse just open for business in Ponyville? Calling it now, this is going to end just like Breaking Bad did.

oh yeah BREAKING BAAAADDDDDDDDDDD!

Well, looks like they're going to be burying more bodies.

now then let me guess applejack getting hit in the head and forgetting things or she gets killed.
im good either way.

Wasn't Spike dead? :rainbowhuh:

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Darn!!!!!!!!!!!

He's out!

Oh, thanks for noticing...

Lol, Spike the Dracolich.

The poor girl just ate some Castor Beans.

Nope. Check out the CDC page about Ricin, look at the symptoms section, you'll see this:

Inhalation: Within a few hours of inhaling significant amounts of ricin, the likely symptoms would be respiratory distress (difficulty breathing), fever, cough, nausea, and tightness in the chest. Heavy sweating may follow as well as fluid building up in the lungs (pulmonary edema). This would make breathing even more difficult, and the skin might turn blue. Excess fluid in the lungs would be diagnosed by x-ray or by listening to the chest with a stethoscope. Finally, low blood pressure and respiratory failure may occur, leading to death. In cases of known exposure to ricin, people having respiratory symptoms should seek medical care.
Ingestion: If someone swallows a significant amount of ricin, he or she would likely develop vomiting and diarrhea that may become bloody. Severe dehydration may be the result, followed by low blood pressure. Other signs or symptoms may include seizures, and blood in the urine. Within several days, the person’s liver, spleen, and kidneys might stop working, and the person could die.

The symptoms Babs was exhibiting do not match symptoms of Ricin ingestion, only inhalation. In fact, Babs exhibits (to the readers' knowledge) none of the symptoms of Ricin ingestion.

This couplet just hit me, figured I'd share:

Ponies poisoned, left and right!
Murder during a bar fight!

"They want you at Ponyville Hospital. That one pony that was staying with Applejack, is very sick." Spike said. "No one at the hospital knows what's wrong, and they're hoping that you'll be able to help." Spike said.

The red part is reduntant. You can remove it safely.

"Princess! Your awake!"

If Scotaloo didn't idolize her,

Uh, this doesn't make any sense. Like at all. Nobody says "You must die!" not even in Breaking Bad. I get that you want murderification to psychically infect ponyland, but this isn't the way to do it. You should have Fleetfoot attempt to murder Spitfire, and then in defending herself Spitfire ends up murdering Fleetfoot. It doesn't just go from "Oops accidentally Babs" to "RIP AND TEAR" that's too severe a transition. Should have some semi-accidental self-defense murders before a pony gets fucked up enough to chew off someone's cutie mark. People have to look at Fleetfoot and think, "Oh what terrible losses and deaths of her friends she suffered to be driven to this madness" and for that to happen Fleetfoot has to be the culmination of a lot of revenge killing.

It's O.K. as-is I suppose, just not very good writing. You could safely omit this chapter entirely I think. Otherwise you ought to set up the situation a bit more before Fleetfoot can be, in whatever twisted way, justified in turning Spitfire into a spit roast. Just leaving it is kind of bad, but I'll keep reading for a while...

I will be highly disappointed if this story doesn't end with Sweetie Belle gunning down Apple Bloom and Scootaloo with extreme prejudice, thereby earning her Rambo cutie mark.

You really gotta learn to use question marks in spoken lines. They're NOT interchangeable with periods, FYI.

And... Babs is dead. Shit.

The Crusaders spent the rest of the day at Sweetie's house, hiding from themselves more then any other Pony.

Eh...somepony's not using their logical side! With logic, they'd be able to rationalize their actions to themselves! Besides, it's not like they killed her!

Spitefire made as coordinated of a turn as possible, and flew hard at Fleetfoot.

Spitefire? Maybe she'd do better if she was actually spiteful...as it is, she's dead now.

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