This story is based out of this fiction with permission: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/118806/coming-for-to-carry-me-home
John Carson is the silent, Non-Brony, Christian friend of Mark Adams. The two live a few blocks away from each other, go to the same church, and have an equal liking for video-games: especially Portal.
But at the time of Mark's death, John's life at home begins to crumble beneath him.
He starts having nightmares and odd dreams, his parents start to restrict his privileges: suspecting he is a Brony as well, and what on earth is he doing in the land of Equestria?!
And worse yet, he is forced to fight two evils: one of whom threatens the freedom of Christian Bronies, and the other who threatens the very existence of the ponies themselves.
If you are saying when John couldn't sleep, there should be no comma there. If you are stating the time and then the "event", then I have no objections.
It should be "gets".
Also, there were 1 or 2 small errors in the previous chapter, but I can't find them right now.
BTW, good story. Like it and waiting for new chapters. Keep up the good work!
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Okay I'll make those edits.
Thanks by the way!
This could very well be posted to other groups, and not just christian ones.
I could suggest which groups to add this fic' to over notes. (One of them might be worldbuilding, for example.)
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That'd be a good idea.
Sure. send me a list of groups to submit it to.
No f****** way.
Cool! Not only is his friend there, but you have the Doctor there too! Yay! The Doctor is in this story! Yay!
Random moustache!
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Eeyup.
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Yes I do. Love Doctor Who too so I let that in.
Wow now you got my attention o.o
Cool story bro,keep the good work
Omg plz keep writing this! I'm excited to see what happens next!
Keep writing! For the love of Celestia, don't leave us there!
MORE!! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, MORE!!!!!!!