Fluttershy gets strange notes from ..... Discord. She wont admit to her friends that the letters are from him. But when friends become angry with her because she wont tell, Discord gets so lovesick he do anything.. even make a deal with the ponys to not take over Equestria.
I hope you guys like it!![i like this pic. of fluttercord.:)]I think Discord is saying:"I love you Fluttershy.."fimfiction-static.net/images/story_images/125269.png?1384034611
This story is pretty cute
Meh. This story's okay. The grammar could use a touch up, and storyline doesn't flow, but it has potential.
not bad but rushed like bloody crazy slow the heck down
Huh. I thought this sounded familiar.
Could use some fixing grammar-wise, but it's not a bad idea. It's like my story without the whole captivity thing. I wish I knew what his note said though.
3570478 Actually (because I requested this for my fanfic), he's saying "My dear, Fluttershy, I had no idea you had such a lovely voice." It was for the audio series.
Wow, you must have really liked my stories, because I'm even seeing references to Daughter of Discord! I mean Cherry Pie, Blueberry Pie, Raspberry Pie...and then Pinkie's present and AJ's crush on Spike
Wow. Just wow.
By the way, the word is "stroke," he wanted to "stroke" her mane.
This is good for a first story. But here are some places that it could use some work.
It should be Sweet Apple Acres.
Fluttershy does not scream. She says it politely and quietly, and Angel usually disregards her, although you were spot-on with his sarcastic glance.
Should be something else. Maybe "Now would you just forget it?" Otherwise, nice rhymes.
And now for chapter 2:
It's "stroke".
STROKE.
This is just being nit-picky, but is Luna a stalker or something? I know she's the walker of dreams, but she made it sound like she goes to Fluttershy's cottage without permission every night. Just sayin'.
This reminds me of this:
Well, not too shabby. There were plenty of grammar errors, and this felt a little rushed, but otherwise I'm liking this story.
3574578 I know. I LOVE LOVE LOVE your stories!! AND.. I read " Bride of Discord" like, 50 times. Your one of my fav authors!!
I still cant help it! Im screaming of excitement!! I love it that you like my story so far!!
Sorry, I hade to unsubmit the story because its not done yet.. don't be mad at me... PLEASE!!
Now I submitted it again. My mind is crazy.
I am not one for love stuff like this but I really like it
I hope more comes
This is really adorable but also feels kind of rushed.
3574555 new chapter. says it.( What the note says)
And now to do a review of chapter 3:
It's well.
Snapped.
That's it. That's all the errors I could find in this chapter, and I am a picky editor. Great job, just slow down, please. Also, this could have been combined with another chapter, with Flutters going "Angel, why are you reading my mail?" ... or something.
Either way, nice job. Keep it up.
Cute picture. I Angel's face.
Clearly Discord doesn't know how to write a love letter
There are several sentences which need a question mark, but I think this is cute!
3633875i know he doesn't know how but he needs to learn
Some common mistakes:
It's "snapped," not "snaped"
Should be "too" instead of "to" (e.g. too weird)
"except" means to exclude something, "accept" means to receive or approve of something
3574573 oh ya i saw that
You need a space there.
space
"matter"
should end with a period
Okay, the formatting for your dialogue seems to be consistently incorrect. You don't need a space after the quotation mark and there should be a quotation mark at the end of the sentence. And in this case, you need a period or an ellipses instead of a comma.
So anyway, I feel these chapters are getting kind of short and rushed. Nice picture though.
3664946 well um the chapter is not done yet but thanks for your concern!
This is getting old.
100 words? Seriously? Slow the heck down and go into detail! I didn't get a single darn thing out of this chapter! I wouldn't even know she'd be having a dream if it weren't for the title! x10000000000000000000000000
this is so awesome
3665977 did u even read any of the comments sis you really should read the one under the comment that you posted
3704535 Yes, I read it, and I think that you should never post an unfinished chapter. We can afford the wait, but you're not gaining any favorites by confusing everypony.
3704659 I dont know how not to post an unfinished chapter! really you know everything can you tell me how to
3704668
This is kind of a fun story. Keep it up.
Might I suggest you type your stories in Word first then transfer them here. It should help with some of your grammar problems.
Also "can not" those two words become "cannot" when used in that order.
3630735 were u not paying attention? sis fluttershy is not home in this chapter! gosh pay attention!!
4024089 I don't remember it saying anything about her not being home. Maybe because I haven't looked at this story since the last chapter was released, months ago.
I hope you con tiny you this
I think he did something to her food!!!
New chapter?
I must admit, Zecora shouting "Look in the brew!" Makes for a hilarious mental image.
3630626 Update? Pwease?
3633875
your so frikin awesome!!!!!!!
Haha I did think it sounded a bit like bride of Discord! :D either way i'm still gonna read this story
This just keeps making me laugh next time idk maybe get your own idea. No offense but it's to much like bride of discord and it's all jumbled up. Either way i'm still going to continue on this story
Okay I totally lost it with the picture! I don't know wether i'm enjoying this or I down right am not! This is so confusing xD But just because you got me to laugh i'm going to favorite this and like it!
This is good. Feels like someone hit the fast-forward button on BoD and snipped and added things here and there.
If those are not BoD references, I don't know what is.
Casually reading story
-Clears throat-
BRIDE OF DISCORD
Continue this masterpiece please
5240935 nope its DoD.
There are a few capitalization and grammatical errors, but the story is GREAT!!!!!!!!!! Love it so far!!!!!!!
Cherry pie? I know it ends with pie.. Umm, Blueberry Pie? Umm, no that's not it.. Uhh, I know!! Raspberry Pie!! Huh, its coming to me, PINKIE PIE!!!!! Yes, that's her name!
I see what you did there.