Ponyville is in a state of crisis. Little fillies are being fillynapped left and right, taken from there homes and families with out a trace. No pony has heads or tails as to who, or what is causing this, but reports state that a mysterious looking creature has been seen lurking threw the Everfree forest with the stolen fillies. The Cutie Mark Crusaders take this as an opportunity to catch this fillynapper, save all the lost fillies, and finally earn there cutie marks. Will they achieve there goal, or will they become another victim to the thing that lurks Everfree forest??
Chapters (1)
Chapter 1: This Is Are Chance! ยท 23rd Nov 2013
Is Are Chance
Are
well I am the biggest idiot I know, cant believe I made that mistake, in my chapter title too :(
There is a difference between 'there' and 'their'. I suggest you learn it. You used the wrong one here, and do so repeatedly.
So Slendy picked up the Everfree and threw it into his magic bag of holding? Unless you meant 'through', which still doesn't make sense because one does not lurk 'through' things, they lurk 'in' them. Try 'skulking through'.
More 'there vs their' problems, and you're missing words as well. Why does it seem like this story was rushed out the door with barely a second spent on the story summary? I'm not overly interested in Slenderman fics, just noticed the obvious spelling errors in the short description and thought I'd point them out. From a skim read, though, I'd say you really need to work on those homophones. Words that sound the same can mean different things! This is an important thing to note, if you want to sound at all competent!
One more thing... it's kinda a waste to try to write a story with suspense about a monster (calling it a 'Thing', etc) when you include a cover image of Slendermane. The best way to include a fanon creation like Slendermane in a story, is when you read it and only realise hours later that the horrifying creature that watched them in the basement was actually a caricature of Jeff the Killer the entire time, etc.
Thank you for the feed back lord sunder, to be honest I was just kind of wanting to post the story as quickly as possible and didn't bother to spell check nearly enough. I promise next chapter will have less issues.