Cruel Knife, the most sadistic of Equestria’s hitponies, is looking forward to his next job: The foalnapping torture and murder of the reincarnated Nightmare Moon, an alicorn demigoddess who is immortal and whose special talent relates to her near indestructibility, and who is rabidly protected by her mother the most magically powerful unic…. wait hold on … run this by me again? There might be a slight flaw to this plan…
Nyx is from Past Sins By Pen Stroke, assisted by Batty Gloom. Please go read it if you have not, it more than lives up to its legendary reputation.
Pen Stroke granted us all permission to use Nyx as long as she behaved in character and was not used in clopfics or tortured for the amusement of the author.... a lot of people didn't care about that last part . This is a parody of these torture fics and NOT in fact a torture fic itself.
Also I could never bring myself to actually read a " Nyx gets tortured" story, so technically I'm parodying a subgenre of stories I have never read. GuysIdontknowwhatimdoing.jpg
Much thanks to my able editor PreytorFenix whose incisive editing made this a much better story. All errors remain my own.
I don't read much Nyx unless it is happy Nyx (I have a bit of a drab, depressing life. Why not spend some time dreaming of something exciting and happy instead of brooding about it?)..But i gotta read this. I just gotta.
3614826 Rest assured there is nothing broody about this.
3614831 nevaaaar!
So nothing bad can happen to her.
How SOME MINDRAPEING HAHHAHAHHAHAH
Great story hope to see more from you.
3614852
There's a say that you'd post remind me of:
Just because your immortal doesn't mean that someone can't shoved your head up you ass or mind rape you.
None of us do. That's what makes it fanfiction.
Not bad. I personally haven't seen any Nyx torture fics, but I can definitely believe they exist, and with the plot holes you suggest. Could still use an overall cleanup, though.
Now to be pedantic - Nyx isn't actually invulnerable, nor does she have a healing factor. She is very tough, as befitting an alicorn, but during the defense of Ponyville in Past Sins, she was severely injured and basically out of commission for quite a while afterward. She probably would have died during the torture scene. But that wasn't really the point (and is arguable, anyway), so carry on.
And for the record, Nyx's letter to Luna at the end was actually rather nice.
grammar, punctuation, sentence spacing, please fix before continuing.
Ah yes, 'Nyx'.
Allegedly a well-written character that brings joy to your life.
We have dismissed that claim, along with the ones about My Little Dashie.
Well, that was... interesting.
3615110 Given that this is a parody of badly written Nyx torture-fics, those may or may not have been intentional.
uuuhhhhh?????????........
3615091
"
Yes she is not invulnerable, but recall that we are told in Past Sins that her weakness and vulnerability in the Ponyville battle scene were caused by the fact that she split herself into many pieces, while here she is whole and untouched.
An argument could be made, I am aware,that she would still die. I recall being shocked when I read the first of Pen Stroke's official sequels " Nightmare or Nyx" that Nyx apparently now struggled to Lift a book!. I always assumed that post Past Sins Nyx would have the same amount of power she had before being forcibly aged upwards, But for some reason Pen Stroke decided otherwise. Still I chose to believe that some kind of fail safe was put on Nyx post the events of Winter Bells that allows her access to her Alicorn Powers for self defense purposes. Seems only just since it is clear by then that Nyx is a walking target.
3634451 its not THAT crackficky!
3615244 God I wish. Nah all the errors are mine and are completely accidental. For some reason I have an extremely difficult time noticing my weird spacing issues. It looks fine to me
but drives everyone else crazy.
This is like draft 2 out of 10,000. Much as was done with " Past Sins" itself,I plan to edit and polish and rewrite this many times. It came to a point where I was pretty sure I wasn't going to publish this at all unless i said " just buck it i'll polish it later". Given that even in the Niche world of "Past Sins" recursive fanfic this was always going to be a super niche story, the amount of people who would read this was always going to be very small, so I figured the pre publishing investment in editing should not be that thorough. The other stories I plan to write, while also niche due to being Past Sins sequels, are intended to have a broader reach. There will be much more thorough polishing on those chapters before they see the light of day.Though yet again those will always be continuously polished as well.
In other words this was written in a fit of pique as essentially a rant against the existence of Nyx torture porn, and then formatted quickly into a story and published to get me acquainted with the process and the experience. It was always meant as more of a learning experience than a serious attempt at writing a " good story", though again I intend to return to it and work some more on it in the future.
3614852 I didn't say that.
3639300 Uhhhhhhhhh- *Slaps himself* I have no idea what happened.......
3639313 Ah.
It would have made sense, given the kind of fics this story was parodying...
3639351 well I mean it is a little crackficky
given the whole thing is basically an author fillibuster disguised as a story. 
" keep your hands off our cute little alicorn filly you haters" is the message. Basically.
3639466. right! oh by the way haters, I have like 20 shotguns so watch out!
I have seen these torture fics too. pretty much sums it up. I adored Nyx's letter!
3614831 she stays. I have a shotgun.
3756241 Need some amo?
(don't know how to spell it correctly)
3756264 Double barrel shot gun
harm nyx and I blow your bloody head of
(many I'am playing too much Dead Island).
No doubt about that
What? What is where this is going?
Twilight is badass in this story, right?
What makes you so sure Discord would do that? To the best of my knowledge, they've never even interacted.
4300639
Twilight [would be badass in this story.... which is why she isn't really in it.
That was kind of my point actually, when I wrote this it was a spasmic reaction to my discovery of Nyx torture fics.. i kind of wanted to point out the many logical inconsistencies with that idea... one of them being that twily would basically obliterate anyone who harmed Nyx.
By the way let me apologize for the still very raw state of this story. I am very slowly editing it, you will notice that about halfway through the first chapter all of a sudden weird spacing issues ( like Th is ) pop up. In the second chapter among other things I cant make up my mind whether it is Apple Bloom or Applebloom. ( I understand "Apple Bloom" is the correct spelling) I am aware of these issues and am working on them. Albeit very very slowly.
4300666
Do what? help rescue Nyx?
nothing really except no one would let him just sit by the wayside
at the least would force him to do something.
Oh and Discord and Nyx do interact in the last 2 chapters of "Winter Bells"... Discord pronunces Nyx " boring" and mock congratulates
for "sucking all the fun" out of Nightmare Moon.
Nyx for her part labels Discord as even weirder than Pinkie Pie.
oH WOW I DIDN'T KNOW THAT THIS FIC LINKED TO A PIC OF MINE THAT'S AWESOME HAHA
Anywho, The fic is pretty good! It's best not to take it too seriously since it IS a parody and meant for laughs.
I like this cause well, I HAVE seen a Nyx torture fic (It was in the Past sins group.. and the Nyxian Alliance. Who the fuck checks these stories before accepting them? or does Fimfiction work different when it comes to groups and submissions?) and honestly this is just me but. Cartoon child or not. ANY torture fic/video/picture involving a CHILD just makes me sick. Even if it is fiction, if you write something like that.. well.. it really says a lot about you as a person.
bUT THIS FIC IS STILL GOOD AND I ENJOYED IT. SORRY FOR ADDING MY PERSONAL THOUGHTS HERE WHOOSP.
4338636 NO NO no apologies comments are appreciated. Did you draw the cover pic? I just google imaged Nyx+ Twillight...
so
Actually on second thought you said "linked" so you must have drawn the pic of Nyx in her " winter bells" disguise ( because you seem to be a Nyxdrop fan and that artist had drawn a lot of NyxDrop) anyways thanks for the pic!
and to answer your question, no one it seems decides what gets put on the story groups, anyone can automatically add any story ( this story was added automatically when I submitted it.. like in less than a second) I suppose there is a mechanism to remove a story if enough people complain... but I would not know what that is...
anyways I am something of a free speech absolutist so instead of censoring unpleasant idiocy, i much prefer to attack it frontally by mocking it and pointing out how ridiculous it is...hence this story.
4338870
"Actually on second thought you said "linked" so you must have drawn the pic of Nyx in her " winter bells" disguise ( because you seem to be a Nyxdrop fan and that artist had drawn a lot of NyxDrop)"
Guilty as charged.
But yes I drew the Winter bells Nyx!
Ahh so it's an automatic system. I see vuv
And that sir is my favorite way of attacking stupid things! By Mocking it!
4339149
by the way , you are as far as i can tell the only person to have drawn Winter Bells! disguise Nyx, I linked to your pic because I got a couple of messages stating that Nyx did not wear a disguise post " Past Sins" and even if she did why did I describe her as a white Unicorn?
So I decided just to find a picture of the disguise she wears in " Winter Bells" and yours was the first ( and as far as I can tell only) illustration.lt is a very good one too, so I thank you for it. It has been useful to me.
4339897
Oh man, I'm so glad it helped ya!
I'm surprised not a lot of Past sins fans have read Winter bells, or have even drawn her disguise from the fic. When I was first reading it one of my first thoughts was 'Oh someone is definitely gonna draw this' but I saw none so... I decided to draw it myself
Didn't think I'd be the only one haha
I realize this was supposed to be a parody of torture fics, but it was a torture to read. I have never before seen a story where spacing was an issue. One space between words. One space after most punctuation. This is one of the most basic, most fundamental rules of writing... and you couldn't manage it. I'm sorry, but I couldn't read past Nyx shifting out of her smoke form. It was just unendurable. If you meant it as a parody of how badly the average Nyx torture story is written, there are some things so terrible that they shouldn't even mocked. If you didn't... seriously?
It's an easy fix. Just use the Find function and search for two consecutive spaces. But please, please do it. I want to like this story, but as it is, I can't.
4517015 yes this is still a bit of a wreck, the reason why you could not read past that part is because that is how far my slow tortuous editing of this thing has gone. beyond that is an undiscovered country of weird spacing terribly sorry, my apologies.
Please tell me more about this find feature.. is this on here on google docs or where precisely? I wrote this on Word ( which has no such feature for spacing) and then copy and pasted which only resulted in a formatting clusterfuck.
When I first learned to type iusedtorunallmywordstogetherlikethis so it was drilled in my head to space after every word to the point where I space too much. In fact i CANNOT SEE the difference if I have 1, 2,or 3, spaces after a word, so the only way i can correct it is to put the cursor after every word, hit the backspace until the words are in fact smushed together, and then hit the space bar exactly once. I have spent HOURS doing that on this story alone and as you can tell, the work is far from done. So if you are telling me there is some simple command to do it, well, you would be saving me many hours of future work if you walk me through it!
3777432 Ooooo
can I join?
>Ecocat<
4540716 Yeah sure here *tosses weapon (of your choice)* lets blow some heads!
Soren: count me out!
Imp: Me in!
What's the word self-minded or somthing, anyway perhaps I'm doing fake parts with other people that aren't real ( OC included, see user page), seriously though what's the word I'm looking for???
3756264 Dude he's not the only one with a shotgun(double barlled to be exact).
Plus, one of my friends has about 2,000000, somthing , demons With M14.
Sorin: 2,000,002,300,400 if you count the Imps.
None of this is liget I do it for the LOLs!
So she stays.......
And there an't anything thou can do about it.
THAT ANIMATION OF TWILIGHT AND NYX!!!! OH MY GOD!!! SO ADORABLE!!!!
Surprisingly good story, especially considering that its clearly a joke / parody / full of deliberate contrivances, etc. I laughed out loud multiple times, for the story's hilarious self awareness, and such.
But in all seriousness, that letter to Luna at the end was superb! Well done!!
4879881 I am pleased that you found the self awareness funny, since It is very easy to make such a thing grating ( It is almost always the sign of a lazy writer, which I most definitely was when I wrote this, for example I rather obviously gave up on grammar about halfway through). The rough unfinished nature of this story is why the story i am working on now will probably take a while, I kind of want to go to the other extreme and polish it all up as much as possible .
anyways this thing came about because there was a flurry of Nyxabuse stories posted and they ticked me off. Not only because I like the characther and thusly dont like the hate, and not only because writing stories where a little filly is brutally tortured is , well, not a good reflection on your moral charachter, but also because it is a really dumb plotline. I mean really torturing the reincarnation of NM, who is fiercely protected by
? How would one even do that. So I had to react and basically typed this out frenetically over a weekend and threw it on here.
Glad you enjoyed it.
4882173 Yes, I think for me its a very personal thing, as I have a little girl myself and some pretty terrible things happened 3 years ago and I had to fight for years to rescue her. So I'm particularly sensitive to stories like that of Nyx, and I can understand Twilight's feelings (especially during 'Treachery') to the letter. It took me a while to read through that chapter because it was so personal and I know EXACTLY how that felt. And yeah, thanks for standing up against the abuse/torture stories. That's just retarded, I don't know why people do that.
I'd also like to reiterate that the final letter to Luna was very touching, and I related to that as well because of how you pointed out Nyx's thanks to Luna for becoming NM, in that if that bad thing had not happened, a good thing would never have existed. Through my own personal tragedy it resonated with me because so much is good now that wasn't before, and it wouldn't be this way if the bad stuff didn't happen. So well done with that piece of insight on the original story. I just started reading Winter Bells, so looking forward to the resolutions that you mentioned. The Shining Armor arc and Twilight's blood, making her Nyx's biological mother. Hopefully it will also address the fact that Nyx made that very courageous personal sacrifice in destroying the black cloud which was actually part of herself and painful to attack. That moment gave me tremendous respect for Nyx's character and I was disappointed that nobody else acknowledged it in the original story.
4883049
4883049
It is an honor to know that my story resonated with you. Every writer wants their reader to see a bit of themselves or of the readers condition reflected in the story. I suppose that is what is meant when people say that all stories worth telling are in effect, about our shared human condition.To know that my story resonated is a huge honor.
As for your point about Nyx being grateful to Luna for " creating" Nightmare Moon, and how that resonated with your experience of something good coming from tragedy, I am glad that you connected with it. I think it is one of the more interesting aspects of the story, Nyx wants nothing to do with NM ( and Knows Luna feels the same way) but of course, no NM equals no Nyx, so Nyx has to come to terms with that, and then , hopefully, act in a way that sort of provides that silve rlining, she must become the good that comes out of the bad.
i want to address the blood issue here. I hope not too mislead you so I will provide a spoiler as a bit of fair warning. The resolution of the Blood subplot in winter belles is not as straightforward as you probably want it to be. Nyx is NOT
's genetic daughter as many of us wished her to be. she IS however her " real/true" daughter. I am not going to explain the difference at this moment, since the story provides an explanation.( there is essentially a " dear princess Celestia letter" written by SPELL NEXUS (!!!!!) to Twilight that lays it all out at the end of Winter Bells.)
At first many of us were disappointed with this decision By Pen Stroke. But the more I think about it the more that I agree with it. The driving question in winter bells is " Is Twilight Sparkles love towards Nyx a genuine expression of her free will or has she been coerced somehow?" By eliminating a genetic link with Twilight ( at a time when most Past Sins fans, myself included, thought the blood was a source of genetic content for Nyx,) Pen Stroke reinforces just how " freely"
gives her love to Nyx, since one cannot even argue that she is doing out of a sense of familial obligation. 
real daughter. she IS HER REAL DAUGHTER..but I will let the story explain that to you.
None of This is to say that Nyx is not
There Is one excellent story written as a fan sequel to "past Sins" where Nyx is T
genetic daugher. That is " nightmare Night and Nyx" . if you go on my user page you will see it listed in my all time top ten favorites list.
A caveat, while "Nightmare Night and Nyx" is an excellent well written and above all heartwarming story, I do NOT recommend you read the other Nyx stories ( Nyx's family alicrnundrum etc) written by its author. That is because said author, realitycheck is notorious for being one of this communities resident, well, crazy people, ( to wit, he is the male Ultra right wing fanatic, as opposed to Chatoyance, our female, ultra left wing fanatic) Nightmare Night and Nyx is the story that made him famous, and when he wrote it he clearly focused on the story , but once he got an audience, he started filling the subsequent stories with political rants. But again " Nightmare Night and Nyx is a great story and I recommend it whole heartily, and Nyx IS
genetic daughter in that one. Though you should of course still read " Winter Bells". I am just letting you know that you may enjoy "Nightmare night and Nyx" in addition to " winter bells.".
4883810
That's ok I guess. I mean, being a biological parent is a bit more than having the same blood. Even if it doesn't make Nyx Twilight's biological daughter per normal reproduction, it could still have been a significant contributing factor to her personality (unless this is contradicted by the author of course). I figure at least some of her goodness would come from that, in addition to the propensity for learning and also apprehension, which they clearly both share.
I'll definitely check out the other story you recommended. Although I find it odd that he would use the writing as a platform to make political statements. I'm at a loss as to what sort of politics could even be derived from MLP related fiction. However, being a conservative minded person myself (not a fanatic, mind you) I probably won't be offended by his comments. In my view, a conservative point of view is very pro-family, and so if he writes about that, I'm fine with it.
Do you happen to know if anyone's written a future-Nyx story, as in, what her life would be like fulfilling her destiny as a protector? I saw this and thought a full story set in that situation would be pretty awesome. If I were a writer I'd probably do one like that.
4883976
These attributes are explicitly stated to have come from twillight I will let the story tell you how.
well then I thoroughly recommend 'Nightmare Night and Nyx" without reservation. There is a political subtext running throughout it but it remains subtext. The Problem with his later stories is that he brings the narrative to a screeching halt to pontificate on say, how fiat currency is immoral for an entire chapter, and then was a total ass to anyone who debated him in the comments section ..you would think if you put politics into your pony to that degree you want to foment debate. Guess not.
You as k what kind of politics can be derived from MlP: fim... and that was part of the problem.. it all felt very shoehorned like it came out of nowhere.
But in Nightmare Night and Nyx the political subtext remained subtext and did not impede the narrative flow. and if you already agree with the subtext that will only increase your enjoyment of the story. So yeah definitely read Nightmare Night and Nyx.
Unfortunately no nothing substantive. I am only familiar with two short stories on here by Keaton-Furman-Prower that have Nyx in them, are set in the far future, and hint at her job ( captain of the guard for centuries on end as the "shield of Equestria")
. But this is not at all the focus of the stories which are very short and deal with loss and immortality. the stories are "when all you have is memories" and "the memories of former villains"
Discord, stop writing fanfics and get back to whatever chaos you were doing before. I'm getting bored again! Too much order!
4884071 Look what's been a whole year!!
And what a year it's been.
So glad we had this little discussion last September.