I wrote this story nearly six months ago. A friend of mine on dA pushed me into writing a shipping story, and so i started one. Half way through, i got some... pretty bad news about one of my friends, and it all went wrong. At that point, the whole story went to hell, and so i revised the beginning, and threw it online. A few people liked it, to my surprise, and so i'll put it here.
Again, bear in mind that this was written almost six months ago, and is awfully written, even compared to my works.(the more recent ones, at the least). However, even though I've already improved a bunch, i'd like to hear your opinion on both the story and the writing.
Oh, and i know, it's really short, that's how i used to work, and still do, to some extent. Also, don't comment on the contradiction to the title at the end, please. I've known of it all along, i was just too lazy to find another title.
I liked it because it's very different. Not everything's a bed of roses and such. But some suggestions - if you want to make Luna commit suicide, you should write more on the reason(s). Just what pushed her over the brink? The idea is good, but It needs to be much more convincing.
321443 I understand what you're saying. It is too short, there are really no reasons that i showed to the reader, but at the time i didn't care. Now, i only neglect it, because i'm done with this story, it was a 20 minute work, and i have no plans of revising it.
Self-immolation, huh? That's a new one...
this is good
Oh god. Poor Luna. This was interesting, but sad. Really sad.