Ever since the start of the school year Scootaloo and her friends have been bullied by Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon because they don’t have their cutie marks. But a chance picture of the two kissing just might get the bullies to stop or for new problems to emerge.
That cover art and this story gave me:lunachan.net/chat/src/137670917679.jpg
Hmm that does seem to be a problem. However I do have the cure, read my story Finally at Pegasus and call me in the morning.
Cute! I liked how the first picture was by accident but then she kept on taking them. Way to go scootaloo.
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3703366 I'm not kidding! I found that really funny!
3703383 I'm laughing because I'm glad you liked my story and if you like this one try reading my others.
3703366 all I'm saying is, it's a really great story. I enjoyed staring at the words it contained. You have earned many moustaches. there you go!
3703392 I think I will.
3703400 "Spike did you get into Twilight's research again?"
Maybe?
So glad you enjoyed the story.
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DUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUDNUNDUNNNNN
3704336 I guess you like the story so far?
I like it.... ANOTHER!
3709272 I do have a few other stories that will be coming out soon if your interested in them however they will be published unedited, I hope that won't be a problem.
3709307 not at all as long as it is decent enough for a read. On a side-note I love how you started the story with scoots taking the picture and ending it with yet again, scoots taking the picture.
That's how I planned it. And I believe the other stories will be to your liking.
So far so good, seems interesting even though Silver/Tiara isn't normally what I go for. The only problem is that there is no divider between Scoots contemplation, and the flash back so it seems as though she has the photo before she took it.
or she could go up to them with the pictures and say a I took these for you. I think you have enough to start a scrap book now. I mean a couples first kiss is pretty special.
I know the urge to make pony puns is strong but having a restaurant called the golden bit and horseshoe is like having a restaurant called the golden braces and boot.
Hey, been a while since I commented on this one.. just something I forgot to say last time... scootaloo is one good photographer If she can get such a good picture by accident. I think I sense some "dishonesty "
: seriously aj?
:eeyup
Not sure what "gambled over" was supposed to be bu it was used twice like that. Once when Scootalloo was making her way over to the back of the school to follow them.
otherwise great start.
Read this how story in one go Love it and keep up the awesome work!!
And have a great Derpy Day
I think you meant straws.
It wasn't really necessary to restate everything Dash said for Scoot's recollection. You could have just mentioned a few key points of Dash's lecture. Otherwise a good story. but I've never heard "gamble" be used in the context of someone walking over to another person.
3842489 that is a great idea! Way to put a positive spin on voyerism and intended blackmail (not to mention this could be legally construed as child pornography since both fillies are naked and making out) LOL
I'm sorry but this is entirely out of character. Everything was fine till Scoots gave up her plan to stow away the pics in Rainbow's house. Diamond Tiara (even DT after the episode Crusaders of The Lost Mark) would DEMAND they be handed over while holding back her rage. Silver Spoon would ask if she made any copies. And Diamond would resort to threats if she insisted she or Rainbow Dash or ANYpony should hold them!
I dare say the two of them would overpower her physically and take them by force if necessary.
if I was Spoon I would threaten her myself. If she just took the one it could've been forgiven as an accident but she DOCUMENTED their romance in PI style with at least what 5 pics?
Diamond would be furious, Silver would console her ONLY if the pictures were handed over or destroyed.
Remember this is the best thing in their life they are protecting and Scootaloo not only violated their privacy but then had the audacity to suggest she should keep the pics that could destroy the sanctity of their relationship!
and Rainbow Dash? Seriously? I wouldn't trust her with pictures of my cat let alone damaging evidence that could be used as blackmail.
okay this conversation makes no sense. Golden Circlet was described as a local business mare who is home allot, enough that she almost always there for Diamond. Silver Spoon is almost always by Diamond's side and yet here Circlet is saying she hasn't seen Silver Spoon since she was a foal.
and Platinum works in a silver smith's shop that is somehow connected to Silver Spoon's home and yet Plat is acting like he's seen Diamond Tiara for the first time? I guess Silver Spoon just NEVER had Diamond over to her house. Otherwise thats two contradictions you have made to your own story.
that's not loyalty.. thats just integrity. Choosing to do the right thing for people you don't like and don't like you is just taking the high road not being LOYAL to them.
I mean I GET that you want to associate Dash and Scoots in a deeper bond by synchronizing their personalities and their morals but really the writers of the show have already done a brilliant job of making Scootaloo a Mini Me clone for Rainbow Dash. You don't have to force the element of loyalty into Scoots. She's loyal only to the CMC and Dash.
she is not being loyal in any way shape or form to Silver Spoon or Diamond Tiara, nor does she have nay reason to show them loyalty, anymore then Babs Seed.
now THAT is more true to Diamond Tiara's character but it's several scenes too late.
Not just Diamond, no person with half a back bone would allow another person to willingly walk away with pictures they took with malicious intent, that could ruin them and the one they love!
You do realize that by giving over a set of pictures of two minors cuddling and making out that Scootaloo is setting her idle up to be suspected pedophile since she can't prove she didn't take the pictures herself that are now in her possession?
Gambled, gambled, GAMBLED you used it three times and every time you use that word to describe a pony running... GALLOPED! that's the word you're going for of course it's SO obvious!
so wait, Filthy Rich hear's Diamond is having a sleepover at Silver's house and he just assumes they are bucking eachother?
oh and the element of Loyalty ladies and gentle colts! Tells every pony in the town accept the child herself that her parents are dead until a week after she got the news.
what could Twilight do? Is she a Princess in this fic? Cause I never once heard her title or description of wings.
and for the love of of ALL the times Filthy Rich could pick to say "no" to his daughter he had to pick NOW! F(BUY SOME APPLES) him!
whoa whoa WHOA you're suddenly skipping ahead 10 freaking years? I think I just got whiplash from that sudden acceleration.
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?
who did she freaking marry!? Celestia? Luna? Cadence?
loved that ending.
there's allot of issues with this story but still enjoyable. You have a good concept and do my OTP proud