Bullets Of Love

by Slava Medik 34

Chapter 2

They arrive in Canterlot and the solider says “If you would follow me please.”
So Redhearts follows him until they reach the base. When they arrived at the base the uniform solider takes Redheart to the medical centre on the base, “Well here he is, he has nasty wounds, but I bet he will pull through” The uniform solider said.
Redheart puts her head on my belly and start crying”Why did it have to happen to him?”.
The uniform solider says”Look at this way miss, you can spend a lot of time with him now”.
Redheart sniffs”I..I guess your right and can you please leave us?”.
The uniform solider nods and walks out of the room.
Redheart kisses me on the cheek and say”Thank go your not dead!, I dont know what I would of done if you died”.
A doctor walks in the room”oh hello you miss,are you his wife?” The doctor askes.
Redhearts says”Close but im his fiancé” Redheart says wiping her tears away.
The doctor said”Well if you want you can stay with him as long as you like that why you can keep an eye on him while your awake so if goes you can tell one of us”.
Redhearts says to the doctor”ok sir”.

Four months later and I’m better and healed and today is our wedding so nothing is going to ruin this days and after the wedding ceremony everypony sits down and talks also we made sure that the little foals wouldnt be bored so we hired bouncing castle and other stuff for them.
I say”were finally married and I’m feeling so much better now” I muzzle her.
Redheart giggles and muzzles me back”nothing will get in-between us oh I forgot to tell you im pregnant and well I didn’t put on weight but its the foal and its due tonight or tommrow” Redheart smiles and I smile back.
“How about we go and have a dance?” I ask Redheart.
Shes nods and says”ok”. So we dance for about an hour and our parents are talking to each other.
“they will be a nice couple and have a wonder life” Mum says.
“they sure will” Redhearts mum smiles.

So after the wedding everypony went home. As soon as Redheart and Slava got home Redheart sat on the couch with Slava next to her and asking if she needed anything and Redhearts said”Im fine thanks”.
Slava sits next to Redheart and smiles”i bet its going to be a healthy young foal and be like her mother” Slava says and Redheart smiles at him.
Few mins Redheart says”the foal is ready!”. So Slava put her on his back and he rushes her to hospital and arrived at the front asking for somepony so a nurse walked up and asked what was wrong and Slava tols her and said to follow her so Slava does what she says and follows her and a few mins later Slava and Redhearts are smiling and Slava askes
“What should we call our cute little filly?”
Redhearts says”How about Cadance Phoenix”
Slava smiles and muzzles Redheart”thats a perfect name” and Cadence starts gooing
Slava grabed Redhearts hoof and said”Sweety I have been thinking of quitting my job since I have a family now and I dont want to die and leave you and Cadence Phoenix without me so maybe I can work as a doctor with you in the hosptial?”
Redhearts smiles”it would be good if you do quit but I will still love you if you dont”
the nurse then says to Redhearts”your free to go now”, so Slava and Redheart get up and walk out smiling all the way home and when they got there they snuggled up to little Cadence Phoenix and as the years went on by Cadence Phoenix wanted to be like her mom and nurse so the follwing year she got her cutie mark for being a nurse and Slava,Redhearts and Cadance lived happy ever after.

Comments

[The Lord Inquisitor]

I'm actually not sure if this is a troll or not. Either way...
Positives first: interesting premise, even if it's a bit cliche.
Negatives: where to start...
Did you get an editor to look at this before you published it? If you did I suggest you fire him and find a better one because there are so many avoidable spelling and grammar mistake that it's not even particularly funny. The pacing is extremely flaky, from start to finish in under 2000 words, and it seems as if very little time passes in between scenes. Also, the bit where it unexplainably jumps to third then back to first is rather jarring to the first time ready.
With all this in mind, please accept my downvote as an act of constructive criticism, and it is in no way intended as a personal slight but instead an expression of my opinion of this story.

[Poodicus]

Are the bullets of love shot by "Happiness"? The Warm Gun? (Bang, bang, shoot, shoot~)

[Slava Medik 34]

i try to but i had an injury to my head and a hard hitting one so ever since then i suck at grammra and that and yes the bullest shot happens

[Nineveh]

3748530 Now, I can't really say anything about this. If I were to be honest, I would ask for you to touch up on your grammar. I didn't like it much; it's not my type. Because of this, I'll not give it a rating; no like nor dislike, solely for that fact that I know how bad a dislike can feel, and also that if I'd give it a like, it would be a like out of pity, not of true favor. Even so, I'm not about to bring you down for it. All I can do is help you get up
Don't let this get you down; write more stories, be more creative, learn from your errors. I see potential in you; everyone deserves a second chance. Fail that second chance, and all you can do is pick yourself up again and keep pressing on.

[3volve]

i really don't care for the grammar it is a really good story in my book 10/10