No one would believe in the last years of the thirteenth century, that equine affairs were being watched by intelligences which inhabited the timeless swirls of space. No one would believe that we were being scrutinized as if someone with microscope studies beings that swarm and multiply in a drop water. Few ponies even considered the possibilities of life on other planets. And Yet across the gulf of luna’s space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this earth with envious eyes. And slowly... and surely... they drew their plans against us.
P.S. I thought about making a 2005 version of the War of the Worlds movie since there's really nothing for this version. Hope you like it. Oh and the tripod noises work well for chapter two.
Edit: Just to let you all know. I've fixed the names for the two delegates. I never did know what their names were and I apologize for that. Oh and on another note, this takes place when season 3 ends.
Cover art by Tomo2012
Previously owned by XxEpsilonxX (if I didn't take it, It'd be dead)
You should check out the original 1953 War of the Worlds movie.
3838472 Okay I'll give it a look.
3838563 You should also read the book. It's my favourite version of the story.
I'm reading though now and it's looking good. Although, you loose points for not starting with "No one would have believed..."
3838577 Darn.
Oh well. It's the point of having people giving criticism to help you out right?
3838585 That's true. I'm happy to help.
I'll let you know my full thoughts when I'm done.
3838588 Thank you.
Okay, I've finished the first chapter. I did notice a few spelling or grammar issues, but nothing too serious. It was no where near as bad as my first story
There are a few key points however.
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1) The Saddle Arabians didn't get any introduction. I was confused when "Brown colt" and "Pink mare" first turned up. They also have fan names on the MLP Wiki I believe.
2) Nyx. She's that Nightmare Moon clone or something, isn't she? I'm guessing this story is based in the same universe as that one then. She just felt out of place to me. (I haven't read her story
3) Not really important, but personally I think that it would have been better if Twilight saw the War Machines in person before being told them.
I'll go on to chapter two now. Don't worry, it's a lot better than some stories I've read
3838762 I do need to ask though. I did search for their names, but um didn't come up with anything. So I have to ask...what are their names?
3838762 Oh and something does happen to Nyx here. Not spoiling it though.
Plus this is the first time I've done a story without an editor so yeah. I thought it might suck at first but I think after a few chapter's things will definitely get better.
Also I am a huge fan of Nyx so many of my stories might include her, but I'm not very sure still. But other than that. Yeah thanks for the advice. I'll go through it again once I find the names of those two Saddle Arabians.
Uuughh! Please don't take this as a commentary on your story, as I haven't read it yet and won't judge it in any way until I have, but I wish you could have picked a better version to base it on.
The whole 'Hide a bunch of war machines underground for a few dozen million years and hope no one finds them before you return' concept made my brain spin at the time, not to mention that the ending made even less sense in this movie since they had already been here once before, long enough to bury the damn junk in the first place!
If any version should get the pony treatment it should be Jeff Wayne's 1978 version (if it hasn't already).
3838780 The mare is Amira and the Stallion is Haakim. Go to the Wiki's list of ponies and do a search (CTRL+F) for "Saddle Arabia".
And 3838960 does have a point about that movie. The musical version is also my very close second favourite version after the book
3838960 Well I know you have a point. But I just loved this version of the movie and plus I haven't seen the older version's except for the 1990's one or wherever it came to part.
But Yeah I agree that some versions are better then some. I think two stories already work with that version. I'm just not too sure. Again Thanks for the comment and opinion. I don't mind criticism or any of that junk.
3838994 Okay. I'll go re edit it out to replace the names and introduce them into it.
Get out of here Balgruuf!
3839306 Balgruuf?
Okay, this chapter was better. The only problem I had with it is that it seams to be going too fast and without much description. Most writes start off like this and it isn't really a problem for you, but it's something you may want to work on
3839415 Yeah. I kinda did jump the gun and start going to fast. But I will work with what you and others have said on chapter three and not make things just go so fast.
My best story so far is The Forgotten Memory if you would like to give that one a look?
3839449 I'll do so tomorrow. It's very late here right now
3839387 in a game called skyrim, there's a king named Balgruuf in which he tells a soldier to get some rest after a powerful enemy attacks him.
3849466 Oh that's what you were meaning. You were referring to the soldier that Balgruuf told to get some rest after the dragon attacked. Nice reference.
This seems pretty accurate. I bet they'll all get some kind of emotional breakdown once the red weed starts to grow... When I first watched the movie, the red weed, and the process undergone to create it made me sick. As for your story, I really like it. I always wanted to see a story made on this version, and I've finally found one. The only issue is grammar.
3889034 What's my problem with grammer huh? HUH?!
Just kidding...I don't easily get mad about criticism or any of that junk. I would like to know what you mean for my grammar so I can improve on my other chapter. If you would so kindly elaborate?
3889042 Punctual errors. For example, I've seen a sentence written like this one somewhere in chapter 2.
"Mr. Billy Bob Jones, where is the soap, I want to take a bath."
It should be written as
"Mr. Billy Bob Jones, where is the soap? I want to take a bath."
It's just little bitty punctuation errors like that.
3889142 Yeah I kind of tend to forget which punctiation mark should go where at times. But I'm still learning and I'll make sure to take a closer look at it on the next chapter.
Oh and I have someone proofreading my next chapter now so it should be a lot easier with that sort of problem.
3838960 Working on one right now Ba-BAM!
Other than that, this was good. But I agree with Feather Book, it's not a real War of the Worlds unless it starts with the traditional "No one would've believed..."
3957748 You mean on the title page here or the first beginning words of the story?
3957756 Something like this,
((Slight adaptation of Jeff Waynes WoW that I'm using))
3957763 Okay then, thanks for that. I'll go ahead and put it up there right now.
It greatly annoys me when Celestia and Luna actually control the sun and moon.
4018456 Eh, sometimes their just powerless in some points.
I'll admit. I did saw the movie War of the worlds. And that Tripod is a tough machine to be take down. Are there more Tripods or just 1?
It's finaly out!
Sorry I didn't do more to help. I was just overwhelmed with work to do anything.
But you and Lego did a good job.
4156750 Just one. That's enough to cause trouble in Equestria.
4157209 Yeah it's alright. I know you probably had alot to do.
4157622 Will the Tripod be beaten soon or later?
4157663 Well...I can't reveal what will happen, but just to reassure you, no one really dies in this one. (Well except for the fact that hundreds of citizens die, other than that the main and important characters survive.
And the Tripod...well lets just say I got surprises installed.
4157678
Ok
4157678 More and will Equis be conquered I would love that planet destroyed would love that too
4251020 Well...I don't know about that.
Well. The Crystal Empire is safe.
4292036 Hmm, good question.
4293791 Looks like I need to find out when the new chapter comes.
4330709 Hahahahaha!
I didn't say that he was officially dead now...did I? 
(And besides...I've had something bad happened to him already in another one of my stories. He needs a break).
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4330722
4330712
Oh man! I'm surprised that Shining Armor lives!
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20121219171649/mlpfanart/images/f/f7/Mother_of_Me.png Mother of Me......
I need to read this story. I forgot it existed. Also I hope there is a thunderchild scene
that is what has been missing from all of the movie adaptations and yet is such an amazing scene.