Doctor Whooves and the Quest of the Missing Tardis.

by applejackrainbowdashpinkie4ever

Pinkiepie

Doctor Whooves trotted into the bright coloured building to smell a sweet smell.

"What's that smell?" he murmured

"Open your eyes! What do you think it is?" Derpy chuckled.

"Ummmmm.... Cakes... Wait no cupcakes!" Doctor Whooves guessed.

"That's right!" Derpy laughed. "This is the local PonyVille bakery!" A pink pony approached the counter with a big grin on her face. Her hair was a bit of a poofy mess and for some odd reason it reminded Doctor Whooves of candyfloss and her mane strangely smelt like it too. There were shelves of cupcakes, sweets and breads. This pink pony had a batch of freshly made cupcakes and she set them down on the counter. Doctor Whooves's mouth watered as the heavenly smell drifted into his snout.

"Mmmmm can we get some Derpy? PLEASE!!!" Doctor Whooves pleaded.

"Of course we can!" Derpy smiled. Doctor Whooves suddenly noticed a bag on her shoulder. Derpy shoved her mussle into the bag and she retrieved a purse with a picture of Rainbowdash on it. She must miss Rainbow so much...

"Hello how can I help you?" the pinky pony chimed. Doctor Whooves almost jumped out of his skin for he was lost in thought...

"Um.... Can I have that cupcake please?" he pointed towards the cupcake on the shelf which was blue and had rainbow sprinkles on. It had blue feathered wings too.

"R.. Rainbowdash?" he said to himself. No it couldn't be! He rubbed his eyes and it revealed a pink iced cupcake with chocolate sprinkles and golden butterfly wings.

"Oh.... A butterfly cake. Phew!" relief surged through him.

Comments

[Poniard Dagger]

Okay, im sorry but i cannot let you go on with that mistake, the timelord is not "doctor who" the timelord is "The Doctor," doctor who is the name of the show and is named that because we dont know the doctor's name and therefore its a question.

[Speven Dillberg]

Yeah. From that alone one gets the feeling that you have never seen any episodes of Doctor Who, and are just going by the MLP fanon stuff.
Watch a few episodes. Then try again.

[badassgrunt]

its okay, it is a good try. your probalbly better than me keep it up!

[applejackrainbowdashpinkie4ever]

>>Nazkan stop waisting space this is my third story and u are really harsh.... and plus ur comment's waisting space...

[applejackrainbowdashpinkie4ever]

Your words hurt me....

[applejackrainbowdashpinkie4ever]

>> LordJohn of Snowwood thankyou so much it means alot to me :)

[Nazkan]

I apologise, madam, in retrospect I understand that I may of come off as a bit hard, and for that I apologise. However, I stand by my opinion that this is a terrible story. The claim that this is your third story raises my eyebrow a bit though. I find that rather hard to believe.

While I am slightly annoyed that you have ultimately decided to ignore my advice, and will no doubt continue to write, I have no physical way to stop you. I will just have to suffer through this quietly.

However, I still strongly urge you to watch all of the Doctor Who, and study his character. I also still urge you to watch My Little Pony, and study the characters found there. Reading a few more fanfics also wouldn't hurt, since they could only improve your writing style.

Once again, I apologise for my rudeness, and may all your stories someday become decent.

Apologising too much
Nazkan

P.S. Since when could people delete comments? Has it always been like that? Surely not.