Amidst the savagery of war, two old warlords find the time to have a chat before the final confrontation.
Sometimes, I mash my face against a keyboard, and stories come out. Sometimes, they're even good.
Amidst the savagery of war, two old warlords find the time to have a chat before the final confrontation.
Hmm... a good story, for sure.
Beautifully written, excellent job! A very interesting take on the prompt for sure. Found no grammar mistakes, good spacing, great imagery.
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Thank you for sharing this.
I liked this story. I liked its flow, its characterization, and its imagery, though I felt some more imagery could be helpful to set the tone. This story actually made me feel something for its characters, which is pretty rare for me.
However, I noticed a few subtle issues with your story.
While most readers know that the "in response" refers to the wall exploding outward, it could also refer to him barely flinching back and is therefore still counts as a vague reference. Just to nitpick.
I've never seen "for" used here. Perhaps you could use "In lieu of," "Instead of," or "As." But I might be wrong.
There are some parts that seemed like they required a bit more description to slow down the pacing. For example, when Meteor spread his wing, there wasn't any description that made it clear that he had exactly one wing until he started talking about it. I imagine you wanted it to be a surprise, but if so then a bit more drama should be present for it.
Great story, wonderfully written. Liked and favourited.
That was a very pleasant story, thank you for writing it, thank you for bringing it to my attention, I have but one major qualm:
Perhaps something along the lines of 'spread his one remaining wing' would get the image across better, as I was momentarily lost for what was significant about him spreading a wing, which brought me out of the story.
I LOVE IT!!!!!!