"Sometimes you just gotta say: What The F***"
-Joel Goodson
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August 25th, Golden Oaks Library-Ponyville, Dawn...
The fluttering of papers and the scribbling of a quill stirred Spike the Dragon from his fitful slumber. He groaned and rolled out of bed in the loft, sleepily trudging across the Library’s top floor and giving the purple Unicorn at the writing desk a glare for a moment before glancing back at the window. The sun was just peeking over the horizon, but judging by the freshly written paperwork and half-spent candles flickering on the desk, she’d been working for a large part of the night.
“Urgh, Twilight,” Spike yawned widely, exposing his sharp little teeth. “You’ve been up all night writing and keeping me awake! What in Celestia's name have you been doing?”
Twilight Sparkle kept to her writing for a moment, almost as if she hadn’t heard him, but the flick of her ear and the momentary sideways glance of her eye confirmed she heard him, but if she broke her rhythm in the middle of a sentence, she might never get it right. She jabbed the end of the sentence with the quill before sighing and laying it down across the scroll. Fighting off a yawn of her own, she grinned a bit sheepishly at the rather irate dragon who stood there with his arms crossed, awaiting an explanation.
“Eh-heh, sorry Spike.” She rubbed the spines on his head with her hoof, like a nurturing mother would stroke her son’s hair. “I just couldn’t sleep very well because—”
“Yeah yeah, I know,” Spike interrupted with a roll of his eyes. “Because Rainbow Dash is off at that planet gathering information again and you’re worried about her because she’s been gone all night, right?”
“Well, that and I want to get as much information out of her that I can when she gets here before she forgets anything she saw,” she told him as she grinned excitedly. “Oh, I wonder what’s kept her this long? I hope she’s got a load of new information on those bipeds living on that planet. They’re so fascinating and so much like us!”
“Yeah, except they wear clothes all the time, sunburn easily, their air is dirty, and they’re constantly fighting each other,” Spike ticked off on his claws. “Yeah, soooo much like us.”
“Oh come on, Spike,” Twilight swept her hoof over the rough sketches of faces and bodies pinned up on the wall. They were created solely from Dash’s verbal descriptions of the bipeds alone, which probably meant they were a little more “awesome” than they really were, but they were all Twilight could go on at the moment in her study of them which had practically eaten her life up the past few months.
“Look past their problems and see what they are as intelligent lifeforms. Oh what I wouldn’t give to actually meet one in person and ask what their world is like from their point of view,” she exclaimed with a clap of her hooves. Dash could only gather information while hidden in the clouds, lest she be spotted and probably scare the living daylights out of them. In fact, that might have already happened once or twice over one of their northern continent’s deserts, but things could have been worse. But if Dash said she could handle it, she trusted the blue Pegasus as much as anypony could.
And to think it all started as an accident when Twilight was experimenting with a long-distance teleportation spell. She needed a brave volunteer, and Dash had literally barged her way through the front door when she got wind of someone brave being needed. She trusted Twilight and she wasn’t afraid of what might be on another world. Twilight explained that she was linking an escape and return spell with something that Dash couldn’t do accidentally, and what better action to pick than her Sonic Rainboom, something that somewhat distorted space itself and created an easier access point for the spell as well as requiring massive concentration to accomplish. Twilight then hit her with the spell, and within an hour, Dash had teleported back into the Library lobby, her chest heaving and sweat dripping from her face.
Twilight had been worried at first, but Dash held up a hoof and explained that she had just flown the most awesome race she’d ever been in with a bunch of machines on that planet. She wasn’t afraid; she wanted to go back! Ever since then, she had been teleported back to that blue and green planet on Wednesday and Saturday afternoons, returning to report what she saw. In truth though, she wasn’t returning just for Twilight’s reports. Dash wanted to keep going back because the bipeds offered competition she could only dream of in Equestria: flying machines.
The flying machines! Those were what intrigued Twilight the most about the bipeds. Just the logistics of getting those metallic things into the air without the apparent aid of magic and without flapping their wings was mind-boggling. Some of those machines were hundreds of feet long and wide! And the bipeds used them to carry cargo as well as hundreds of their own species inside them as transport. Those were the ones that interested Twilight, but Dash was attracted to something entirely different. It was the one thing that kept her going back to that world; the singular thing that gave her a racing thrill like nothing else anywhere: their military jets!
Sure, she knew the risks, having seen them in action shooting each other down with fire and explosions, but she was confident in her abilities to out-fly them and took comfort in the fact that the escape spell was activated when she was moving her fastest, which she’d only have to use if she got into trouble anyways. With that in mind, as she flew about jotting down notes in her head on the biped society, she always tried to make time to ride the contrails produced by the small fighter jets during their drills as well as streaking in between them and daring them to chase her, which they had on multiple occasions. But the coloring of her coat and small size allowed her to blend into the sky with ease, and she nearly always lost her pursuers within seconds. Even so, it was always a thrill!
Still, she wished she could find one that could actually keep up with her for more than a half a minute. She never reported these things to Twilight in detail, mainly out of concern that her friend wouldn’t send her back through fear for the Pegasus’ safety. So, she kept the jet reports vague and gave her just enough info per visit to make her want to send Dash back again.
Twilight herself soon craved more than just observation though; there had been plenty of that already. She craved interaction with a biped now but was far too cautious to go to the planet herself. She actually entertained the thought of Dash bringing one back with her, but the shock of it all might frighten it to death! So for now, she had to be content with observation reports and hope that Dash’s mid-air shenanigans didn’t cause too much trouble.
A sudden crackling noise and a bright flash in the downstairs lobby lit up the whole library and snapped Twilight out of her musings. Rainbow Dash was back! The Unicorn quickly trotted for the stairs with her quill and a new scroll, eager for more information from the Pegasus. But as she descended the staircase, something else other than the usual smell of ozone associated with teleportation spells assaulted her nostrils which crinkled in disgust as her heart leapt in fear. It was the smell of burnt flesh, as well as another chemical she couldn’t identify.
“Dash, Dash, are you alright?!” She hit the bottom of the stairs and rounded the corner of the lobby, her hooves slamming the wooden floor as she ran, suddenly taken by a bout of panic. Was Dash injured? Oh by Celestia if she got hurt doing something stupid…
Twilight skidded to a stop in the lobby and gaped at the sight. There was Dash on the floor, looking very shaken up but apparently unharmed. But it was the smoldering blue and black object nearly twice her size that she had her hooves around that drew Twilight’s attention. It took the Unicorn a few moments of gape-jawed confusion to realize that Dash was holding a biped in her library lobby. She sunk to her flank in shock and struggled to find the right words for a time like this. Spike nearly ran into her as he too took in the sight before him.
“D-dash… what happened?” was all she could get out before the biped groaned in agony, an absolutely pitiful sound that tore at Twilight’s heartstrings. It was then she realized the biped was the source of the burning flesh and harsh chemical smell and that the black portions of its uniform were actually scorch marks. She slowly stood up and walked towards it. “What did you do, Rainbow Dash?!” she gasped.
“Twilight, it’s all my fault!” Dash cried out, trying to hold the biped’s head off the floor to keep it from coughing, its face was completely covered by a yellow and black helmet, probably a blessing considering the pain it seemed to be in, Twilight didn’t relish seeing the expression of something with that many burns all over it. What was worse, Dash’s behavior was quite frankly scaring her. The normally brave and confident Pegasus was absolutely hysterical.
“I-I tried to get him to r-race me like usual even though they don’t keep up very long, but this one did, Twilight!” she wore an almost impossible look of fear and admiration as she looked down at the biped who groaned again in an unmistakably male voice. “H-he wouldn’t quit like the rest did. I wanted him to chase me, Twilight! And he did, and then his jet started falling out of the sky and—“ Dash broke off there and ran a hoof over the pilot’s burned uniform. The hot material clung to her hoof and pulled off in strands of blue threads as angry tears squeezed out of her eyes and dripped onto the pilot’s helmet.
“I-I couldn’t let him die like that, Twilight,” she looked back at her friend, hoping to see an understanding look, but only being met with confusion. “I got him out, but only after his jet hit the ground… I wasn’t fast enough, Twilight! I wasn't fast enough," Dash moaned into her hooves. "Goddess, this is all my feathering fault!” she sobbed, furious at herself and fearful for the pilot who began a fresh bout of coughing.
“W-what do you want me to do, Dash?” Twilight asked. The Unicorn’s mind was swimming, just barely staying afloat on a sea of unconsciousness. She had so many questions herself about the injured pilot and what Dash meant about ‘racing like usual.’ Spike saw her eyes start to roll up and gently squeezed her hoof, bringing her back from the brink and giving her a smile he forced through his own worried expression.
“Save him, Twilight,” Dash whispered, her head hung low and her ears drooped. Her normally bright mane had visibly lost its luster as she forced herself to look back up at her friends, her pride trying to force the moisture from her eyes but failing miserably. “Use your healing magic on him! Fix him!”
“Dash, my healing spells only work on the creatures I have healthy anatomical data on, both exterior and interior. All I have is exterior from your observations,” said Twilight as she frowned and hung her own head.
“Speak Equestrian, Twilight!” Dash pleaded frantically.
“Oh, um… I mean I need to know what they’re like on the inside and outside while they’re healthy, otherwise I don’t know what state to return their bodies to. The spells for each species are all different and if I try to use the wrong spell for the wrong species, it might just do nothing or it might hurt him even worse! I’m sorry, Dash, I really am.”
At that announcement, the Pegasus hugged the pilot’s helmet tightly, cursing herself and every dumb thing she’d ever done that led to this moment. Because of her selfish stupidity, this guy was going to die and all she could do was sit here and hug him like a damned foal! Spike reached forward and tried patting Dash on the back, but she jerked away at his touch, his claws scratching her neck, but she didn’t notice. She was too angry at herself and her own helplessness in the situation to care!
But sometimes, when all hope seems lost, even the most insane possibilities become the best last resorts. Dash’s head suddenly jerked up at the idea that had suddenly sprouted in her brain. It was a ridiculous long shot, but that had never stopped the determined Pegasus before! “Twilight,” she almost whispered as she clung to the dying pilot. “You said your magic only works on creatures you have information on, right?”
“Right, physical data,” Twilight nodded, wondering what Dash was getting at.
“And you know a transformation spell that can turn something into anything, right?” Dash looked up at her friend hopefully.
“It’s not a pretty spell, and very painful, but yes I know one,” the Unicorn confirmed, starting to put two and two together here. Was she serious?
“Could you turn this guy into something you have data on and then use the right healing spell on him?” Dash asked, her magenta eyes pleading more than Twilight ever thought possible. “Could you do that, Twilight Sparkle?” She was deathly serious.
“I-I…” The Unicorn ran through every single doubt and bad thing she could think of that might go wrong here inside her head, but the look on Dash’s face forced her to banish those doubts with a sigh. “It’s been a long time since I’ve used it and I might be rusty, but I can try, Dash. But… the pain that the spell causes might be enough to kill him through shock alone, especially considering how hurt he already is,” she said with a frown.
“Twilight…” the proud Pegasus said slowly. “If this guy dies… and it’s all my fault… and I didn’t do everything I could possibly do to save him… I’ll never be able to live that down.” She hitched a breath and gave her friend a very serious and determined look. “And you know I can’t carry a weight like that and still be me.”
“Dash, I—“ Twilight gaped in shock at her friend’s confession. She knew her to be loyal, but not to such a strong degree! Then again, this was Rainbow Dash, the most hard-headed pony she’d ever known as well as the holder of the Element of Loyalty.Learn something new every day I suppose. “I’ll do it… but what if he lives through it? Then what? What’ll we tell him?”
“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, Twilight.” Dash held the pilot as he coughed violently. “But right now, there’s no time. Save him, Twilight! Just… what ever you turn him into… give him wings… at the very least, I owe that much to him.”
“Alright!” The Unicorn put on a determined face and closed her eyes, searching for the right spell in her memory before finding it. Her horn lit up a brilliant purple and her eyes flashed open, filled with a bright white light as Dash gently laid the pilot’s head down and moved away, shielding her eyes from the light that shot from Twilight’s horn and spilled onto the dying pilot, engulfing and completely consuming him.
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“Whoa… Twilight! Twilight get up!” Spike fanned her face as her eyes flickered open.
“D-did it work?” she asked, completely worn out. It had been a long time since she used that spell and she’d forgotten how much it took out of her.
“And then some! Hurry and wake up!” Twilight opened her eyes completely as Spike pulled her to her hooves and she looked over at where the pilot was, or rather, where he had been. In his place, lying there unconscious and still carrying those same painful burns, was a rather lanky dark blue Pegasus with a yellow and black spiky mane and tail; probably something to do with the yellow, blue, and burnt black flight suit he was laying in the middle of when the spell hit him. His eyes were squeezed shut in pain, and he snorted loudly as he groaned again.
“He’s still burned, Twilight! Use that spell and fix him!” Spike urged.
“Oh, r-right,” Twilight shook her head in disbelief. He’d survived it! But now wasn’t the time to hesitate! She jumped up and made her way over to the new Pegasus and charged the healing spell. For a moment, she felt a pang of disappointment It was just her luck that when she finally got a biped into her library for study, she lost the chance almost immediately. But it was only a momentary regret. Perhaps when he was recovered he’d be able to tell her everything he knew about bipeds and their world!
She hit him with the healing spell, and the burns covering his body faded away in a gentle pulse of orange light. Curiously, the marks were left behind on his coat as sooty-looking scars. Maybe they’d fade in time.
Dash trotted over to the Pegasus and sat down next to him, looking him over and finally breathing a sigh of relief when she saw his breath had stabilized and he was no longer groaning in pain. He was sleeping peacefully. “Heh, looks like you’re not as rusty as you thought, Twilight! Twilight? Oh crap!”
Spike caught Twilight as she collapsed again, the strain of the two powerful spells in such a short time, coupled with her all-nighter finally getting to her. The young dragon grinned with the strain before laying her on the floor with a huff. “She’ll be ok. She just needs her rest.”
Dash yawned in response as the adrenaline left her system, the danger over for now. The day had really taken it out of her! “Heh, all this hard work saving people sure makes me want some shut-eye. I’ll take Twilight to her bed, you keep an eye on this guy, Spike.” She sat Twilight across her back and carried her to the stairs. “Lemme know if he wakes up!”
“But I… but she… argh!” Spike threw his claws in the air in exasperation as they headed up to the loft. He was tired too! “Rats!” The Dragon looked back at the sleeping blue Pegasus and scowled before taking a seat next him. “Grr, you’re not even here ten minutes and you’re already a pain in my scales, dude.”
Upstairs, Dash laid Twilight on her bed and curled up at the foot of it. But before she closed her eyes, she held up the small patch that had been inside the pilot’s jacket. It was burned, but it was very obvious what it was: a small version of her own cutie mark. “Whoever the heck this guy is, he knows me somehow. Heh, bet he’d make a good newbie member of the Rainbow Dash fanclub or something like that.” She chuckled before drifting off to sleep.
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"It seems to me that if there were any logic to our language, trust would be a four letter word."
-Joel Goodson
.....So awsome
By the gods, MORE!
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371808
Dude...seriously MOAR!!!
Tracking this like a guided missile.
Minor quibble, I seriously doubt Volare would be a Major at the age of 23.
Want to read about Rainbow joining the Blue Angels? Right here
372313 I saw dat!
Buncha these sorta things popping up now, but they're all RD joining the Air Force of what have you...mine's taking...a bit of a different path
Hrm oops...I meant to say Lieutenant
He's Navy not Marines
*edit edit edit*
FURTHER EDIT: Volare is a Lieutenant Junior Grade
The board is... set.
The pieces are... arranged.
Let the game... begin.
372426 We come to it at last..the great battle of our time...
Oh wait, that's a later chapter
And now Rainbow Dash knows he knows her some how. 'Kinda interested to see how you'll handle this.
372531 Oh don't you worry....they're both gonna have secrets that'll shock each other soon
372551
SECRETS.
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ALIEN SECRETS.
372616 LOL funny you mention that since Twilight basically views the "bipeds" in an alien way
This just keeps getting better and better. Can't wait for more!
So there's going to be some physical conflict and not just social ones eh?
...
That's terrible.
372712 Oooh plenty of both
@V-pony: I've received at least 10 email notices now that your fic has been updated, yet when I click on the link provided in the email, I brings me to the story page where it shows that nothing has been updated. I usually read the updated chapters of any fics upon getting the update emails from FimFiction. Do you think it could be the websites fault, or are you possibly doing something on the website?
372893
Just got another 2 emails about the fic being updated.
372920 Ah jeez, sorry, I kept spotting errors and I was editing them
The chapter is set now
Sorry about that
Is there a way to edit them wiithout sending out those updates?
372958
I honestly don't know since I've never posted a story here before. You might have to talk to an admin about it. If anything, it's a minor annoyance.
372970 I think I will
Sorry bout that ^^;;
Thank you to all who have commented so far!
I write for feedback and cookies!
Zis... Is good.
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"And he did, and then his jet started falling out of the sky and-"
You! Rainbow Dash! How do you know what the "flying machines" are called? Fuckin' paradoxes...
Eh, i know its late to say this, but i lost interrest here. Twilight making him a Pony with asking him first ? DEAD out of Character. And also i hate Humans turned to ponies, ruins all about Human in Equestria.
372616 if that scientist ever went to Equestria, we would never hear the end of it. Even Pinkie pie would believe him to be insane.
Insta-fav
Ah plot armor, the only way you could survive slamming into the ground at over 300 mph, and then being covered in burning jet fuel. I wish I had some of that in real life.
Tracking this story immediately
A HiE story that has a way for the human to get to equestria that makes sense?
iv read alot of chapters in the short weeks iv been reading and listening to fan fics. AND BY CELESTIA I DECLARE THIS DA BEZT CHAPER FRIGGEN EVR!
aww i wanted to read somthing that had advanced theoredical physics in it not lift air resistance and gravity
when dash said "oh crap!" i almost said " rainbow dash watch your language! only bipeds say sh!t like that!" oh yea, still awesome so far
good cant wait to see wat happens nextb
372313A major at 23? That is something that I missed. Yeah, minimum age that I could see someone being a Major would be 28, and that is only if he was extremely locked on and squared away! And placed in a fast track by his superiors. A more likely age would be early to mid 30's.
im sure you wont fix this but ill say it anyway
it would be in canterlot or ponyvill not celestia.
just had to get that off my chest before i forgot.
What's the point of a HiE if you're just going turn him into a pony? Just make the oc already and stop trying to mask the self insert most end up being.
1128985 hell yeah
In fact, that might have already happened once or twice over one of their northern continent’s deserts, but things could have been worse. But if Dash said she could handle it, she trusted the blue pegasus as much as anypony could.
Spell-checks like to capitalize “pegasus” because it was the name of the individual winged horse of Greek Mythology, and thus, a proper noun. I don't think there's any official species name for a winged horse, so everyone just uses “pegasus” for that too. So until spell-checking utilities—or whatever they're called—catch up with people using the word “pegasus” as a common noun, just remember that. I also want to mention that using the word “but” like that sounds odd, so there's probably some obscure reason for why somewhere, which I can't think of.
Technological bull shit in a fanfic? My fave!
Wat.
Please don't stay a pony. Please don't stay a pony!
"Equestrian" would probably be the term you're looking for.
I think the guy would have been much more comfortable as a dragon. Oh, and Volare? Yeah, no obvious references to anything. Nope, none.
the "Constantly Fighting each other," is an understatement. love this story so far :D
763109
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This guy is correct.
It is easier by magnitudes to repair existing tissue via cellular regeneration than it is to transform it into fundamentally different tissues altogether. It goes without saying that a horse's organs and a human's organs are not compatible with each other, and the number of significant alterations that would be required to transform one into the other would be so extensive that it would probably be easier to just start from scratch. Furthermore, horses have 64 chromosomes, while humans have 46 chromosomes; despite this, the horse genome (2.7 billion base pairs) is smaller than the human genome (3.2 billion pairs). Also, the human brain is not designed to operate like a horse's brain, and changing the human brain so drastically would wreck absolute havoc on the individual's mind. And this does not even mention the fact that humans aren't necessarily compatible with Equestrian ecology or environment, being an creature from an alien universe.
In short: Given Twilight's admission of not knowing anything about humans, it's far, far more likely that the transformation would have turned him into an organized configuration of flesh with simulated organs that closely resemble a pony's, killing him in the process due to the new body being incompatible with human life. Besides, the idea that Twilight couldn't do something as simple (by comparison) as accelerate the body's natural repair processes, which are fairly uniform across species, yet despite this failing was somehow capable of successfully transforming a completely unknown alien lifeform's biology into something compatible with her own species, is quite frankly absurd.
...It's pretty jarringly obvious that his injuries were a flimsy excuse to attempt to justify turning the main character into a pony. Really, you could have come up with a much better excuse than this nonsense.
5903036
There goes my desire to read the fic. Implausible situations suck.
5927147 ponyslitterbox.files.wordpress.com/2015/05/magic.jpg?w=640&h=480
5903036 I think I was one of the few people that understood that
Accelerated regeneration might have been the best option, but I suppose that the Rule of Cool was used here.
5903036 lemme just stop ya there for a moment, while I can agree 'SCIENTIFICALLY' speaking, changing species versus accelerated regen would be more difficult to do, we are talking about magic here which we as a whole have little comprehension on and for all we know it could be easier to change a species as a whole with how the spell was 'created/written/strung' an example being that maybe she doesn't have the proper algorithm string to properly effect his biological regeneration since he(as a Human) would be a completely unstudied species biologically speaking but perhaps has enough comprehension to magically alter his DNA, although risky an had a chance of killing him as stated in the chapter (with it being very painful and possibly lethal) thereby assuming it would be a blind alteration, but of course this is mostly speculation so meh.
Until we know how magic actually works(which won't happen in yours or my lifetime but in my opinion would be similar to a biological computer combined with archaic symbles an projected through psi patterns in the way it works) just enjoy how the person THINKS it works and leave it at that.
A few things: first, my god, the plot holes have plot holes. Storywise, this thing is a disaster of biblical proportions. Second, it's still needs editing, especially in chapter one.
Lastly, and on a positive note, this is pretty easy to read and keeps me entertained. I daresay I'm going to keep reading it despite its flaws -- for now -- because it at least has a good heart, if sadly not much of a brain, and the ponies I've seen so far are very much in-character. Given how rare it is to find well-written Mane-Six, this is like a breath of fresh air.
Lets see how this goes...
6329094
Maybe I'm weird, but plotholes (heh heh) really never bothered me.
Unless it's the ones from butterfly effect. Screw that movie.