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My Big, Strong, Stallion

Lotsa ponies think I'm strange or mean 'cause I'm real big and yell lots, but I just wanna show them I'm strong enough now...

A small, melancholy, one chapter story I did to provide some possible background for Bulk Biceps.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 6 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 6
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Kustom95

Kustom95 #1 · Apr 22nd, 2014 · · ·

I like it

Green Bird

Green Bird #2 · Apr 22nd, 2014 · · ·

Nice.

Seether00

Seether00 #3 · Apr 22nd, 2014 · · ·

How sad.

ThatGirl2147

ThatGirl2147 #4 · Apr 23rd, 2014 · · ·

Mechanics: it captured the inner thoughts of the character well, and was true to the "inner monologue" theme. It's a bit choppy, but inner thoughts are choppy by nature. Five Shattered Skulls out of Five.
Storyline: It's a very steady progression between cause and effect that brings the reader to Bulk Bicep's present self. Four Shattered Skulls.
Originality: I'm not going to lie, this reminded me of "Forrest Gump" to an extent. However, you did it well and it fits well. Three Shattered Skulls.
Overall: It's a solid Four Shattered Skulls out of Five.

Woolytop