My Dad did what he thought was right, can't fault him for that. He thought if we meet them in our state we would lose, seeing their power.. I can't blame him. Hope peace can come, but this wont be easy. This will be chaotic, though we do l
Pray, I like the song and felt in kinda fit the violence a bit. So yeah, leave a like comment etc yall know the drill. Next will come in time, took a while to right out this fight scene, alternate routes and such but decided to pick this one.
This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors Name of Story: Apprentice of the Moon: Tales of a teen drake
Grammar 0/10
Pros *There is a great story here but:
Cons *GRAMMAR GRAMMAR GRAMMAR its soo bad that I struggled at times to follow what was going on... wrong words, capitulation errors, punctuation missing or incorrect, indents where there shouldn't, and so on *flipping back and forth from view points so quickly.
Notes Section Get an editor!!!! I was screaming in frustration by the end of the Prologue alone. I stop reading and began to skim from there. ( I might read more thoroughly later....) I can almost guarantee that your rating would have been flipped if the grammar wasn't so bad. Baring getting an editor (or while waiting to get one) you should had slowly checked before releasing each chapter (like read it out out loud) which should reduce the problem considerably.
I would love this story but I cant until you get a good chuck of the grammar fixed.
5192255 thank u this should help with it, also it may u may wanna read more into the chapter, it will explain a bit more in chapter who they are, and how they are connected.
5230016 oh and apologoes for the crappy edit, let me know where I need correcting. Still need an editor.... and probably a prereader to make sure I keep up the right path
Pray, I like the song and felt in kinda fit the violence a bit. So yeah, leave a like comment etc yall know the drill. Next will come in time, took a while to right out this fight scene, alternate routes and such but decided to pick this one.
This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors
Name of Story: Apprentice of the Moon: Tales of a teen drake
Grammar 0/10
Pros
*There is a great story here but:
Cons
*GRAMMAR GRAMMAR GRAMMAR its soo bad that I struggled at times to follow what was going on... wrong words, capitulation errors, punctuation missing or incorrect, indents where there shouldn't, and so on
*flipping back and forth from view points so quickly.
Notes Section
Get an editor!!!! I was screaming in frustration by the end of the Prologue alone. I stop reading and began to skim from there. ( I might read more thoroughly later....) I can almost guarantee that your rating would have been flipped if the grammar wasn't so bad. Baring getting an editor (or while waiting to get one) you should had slowly checked before releasing each chapter (like read it out out loud) which should reduce the problem considerably.
I would love this story but I cant until you get a good chuck of the grammar fixed.
Enjoy your review! Please help me out by looking at my story/ this story: The Last Keeper of Harmony
5192255
thank u this should help with it, also it may u may wanna read more into the chapter, it will explain a bit more in chapter who they are, and how they are connected.
Well (crappy) self-editing done here, now to fix any in chris hansen, and then begin writing a few chapters for this and that.
5230016
oh and apologoes for the crappy edit, let me know where I need correcting. Still need an editor.... and probably a prereader to make sure I keep up the right path