Chapter 6
Chapter 6
The party at Sugarcube Corner seemed to be much like any other. The only real differences were the lack of mares and the mysterious presence of several boards nailed over the cellar door.
Pinkie Pie was the only mare present, and she bounced around the room, helping herself to the snacks and asking the other ponies how they liked it. Of course they did, as it had the usual calling cards of hers: peppy music, bright colors, streamers, and a large variety of delicious cakes. Except the Pin-The-Tail-On-The-Pony game seemed to feature a cute stallion with his eyes narrowed suggestively at the viewer.
Rare Find stood at the cake table, looking at every pony else, standing around, talking as usual. Caramel and Lucky were engaged in a conversation, Pokey Pierce was obliviously popping balloons with his dancing, and Sir Colton Vines III was thoughtfully tasting the contents of the punch bowl. Big Macintosh just stood in the corner, his usual impassive self, though at times he could be seen to bob his head along to the beat of the music.
"It's a nice party, isn't it?" asked another stallion next to him. Rare craned his neck and saw Eventide. They were mild acquaintances – Eventide was a painter, one of those sentimental, thoughtful types. His cutie mark was an incomplete rainbow consisting of yellow, orange, and purple. It reminded him of a sunset.
"I'm actually kind of surprised I'm enjoying it this much," Rare Find admitted. "I mean, the whole thing's kind of silly..."
"Silly?" asked Eventide. "How so?"
"Okay, okay..." Rare Find took a deep breath. "You know what the party's about?"
"No," said Eventide. "I just assumed it'd be the guys getting together."
Rare Find snickered. "Well, not just any old get-together. Pinkie Pie says it's a 'coming out' party."
"Coming out?" asked Eventide. "You mean, coming out as being gay?"
"Uh-huh," said Rare Find. He looked back over at his acquaintance, who had a half-relieved, half-sheepish smile.
"Well, it's as good a time as any. I've been sort of trying to find the right time for a while, I mean..."
"Wait," said Rare Find. "'For a while'? As in, since before today?"
Eventide stared at him. "Uhhh... yeah?"
"Huh..." Rare Find helped himself to another slice of chocolate cake.
Colton approached the two with a cup of grape juice in his mouth, and set it down on the table. "Hey, I'm not interrupting anything or anything, am I?"
Rare Find shook his head. "No, why? Something the matter?"
"Well, no. Just, since that thing in the library I've been thinking..."
"Wait," interrupted Eventide. "You're gay? I thought you had a girlfriend."
"Well, that's the thing," said Colton. "It's... kind of confusing. But I don't think I'm being fair to her, like this. And considering it's only since today that this happened, well... I don't know. I guess it's just weird that all of a sudden this guy comes along and now I'm completely different."
"Well, not different," said Rare Find. "Just gay. I mean, come on, it's not like you started wearing feather boas all of a sudden."
"Well, no..." Colton admitted.
"See?" Rare Find reassured him. "Nothing's changed. Just got some weird magic thing going, and once it's gone, then it's gone. And if it isn't gone, well... that's not a big deal, is it?"
"I guess it isn't."
"Uhh..." said Eventide. "I'm confused."
"So am I," sighed Colton.
"That leaves me as the one playing 'straight colt' to everyone," said Rare Find as his face took a wry expression.
Suddenly, Pinkie Pie appeared in the front doorway. "Alright everypony!" she called. "Our special guest is here! Please give a warm welcoming hoof to Braeburn!"
She stepped away from the doorway to make room for the apple cowpony. "Well, howdy!" he neighed, to the applause and cheers of every pony in the room. "Aw, shucks, you folks have gone outta yer way to make a guy feel welcome." Braeburn walked into the room as the other stallions provided him with cake and relieved him of his hat and vest. "So, how do you Ponyville-folk party?"
The stallions in the room all cycled through, taking turns talking to Braeburn. The Appleloosan was extraordinarily pleased to be the center of attention, and had no shortage of things to talk about. Pinkie Pie, however, decided to break the ice and get to what she considered the main event.
"Well!" snickered she. "I thought we'd all play spin the bottle!"
Some excited chuckles filled the room.
"Oh?" asked Braeburn. "I've never played that. How's it work?"
The other stallions quickly crowded around him as Pinkie Pie produced a glass pop bottle, seemingly out of thin air. Pinkie Pie set the bottle down in front of him on the floor, and began to instruct: "Well, it works like this. You spin the bottle, and whoever it faces you have to–"
"Now, just right and hold that thought," he interrupted. "This establishment got a restroom?"
"Right up the stairs," directed the pink hostess.
"Much obliged."
The stallions crowded around the stairs as he walked up. As soon as he disappeared from sight, they began talking amongst each other.
"I would sing such sweet songs in his ears," said one of them.
"I'd roll around in the clover with him," said another.
"I'd grow him special, tender flowers, just for him," said yet another.
"Bleh." Rare Find stuck out his tongue in nausea. "Listen to all of you. You'e all nuts about him, when.... when..."
"Well," said Colton, "I can't disagree."
"But none of you are actually gay!"
The other stallions slowly turned to look at him, their faces bearing expressions of irritation and confusion.
"What do you mean?" one of them asked.
"Alrighty!" called the chipper voice from the top of the stairs. Everyone fell silent as he descended back down to their level. "Now, what's this about spinning bottles?"
"WE HAVE THE BUILDING SURROUNDED!" boomed a mare's voice from outside. Everypony inside froze. "GIVE UP THE APPLE AND NOPONY GETS HURT!"
Everypony slowly looked at Braeburn, whose expression had turned to a gaping display of terror. "Wha-what did I do?"
"Everyone else inside will return to their marefriends." There was a pause. "And do the dishes... or laundry... or whatever it is said marefriends want them to do!"
"Wait... what's going on?" Braeburn asked.
"Party poopers!" Pinkie yelled back. Then she backed down and sighed. "I just wanted a fun 'coming out' party."
"Now, I'm mighty confused," said Braeburn. "Did I do something wrong?"
The door swung open, showing a somewhat bereaved-looking Applejack. "Oh, I just knew this would happen!"
"Cuz?" he asked. Everyone in the room was silent.
"Braeburn, I think this is something you need to hear." She looked at the rest of the stallions. "Something all of y'all need to hear."
She looked at her confused cousin, and took a long, deep breath. "Braeburn, there's something... unique about you. I don't know what it is, but ever since you were a little colt, the other colts liked you. And I mean they really, really liked you. Remember all those times Big Macintosh gave you flowers?"
"AJ," Big Macintosh said hastily, "you don't always have to mention those."
"Aww..." said Eventide. "That's so sweet."
Big Macintosh took a step back, keeping as straight a face as he could, though he couldn't help but pull back the corners of his mouth just a little.
"Yeah..." said Braeburn. "But what does that..."
"He wasn't doing that just because he was being nice," said Applejack. "And now it's staying that way. When the stallions see you, they like you. Even if they normally wouldn't like you, they like you."
"Well, I try to get along with–"
"Not like that, Braeburn," said Applejack. "Guys, you know what I'm talking about, right?"
There were some nervous chuckles and pawings at the floor. Braeburn froze, and his eyes went wide.
"I don't get it."
Groans filled the room. "Oh, come on..." "Why are the pretty ones so dumb?..." "The more obvious you get, the more oblivious they get..."
"They're all gay for cousin Brae," said Applejack. "You've got some weird magic... thing that takes ponies that normally like mares and makes them like you."
"Wait," said Braeburn. "Stallions that like... other stallions?" He thought about it. "That's a thing?" He looked around at everyone, laughing nervously. "Oh, come on, that's silly. I mean, how does that even work?"
Rare Find sauntered right up to him. "Let me explain it to you," said he. "Sometimes, when a daddy stallion, and another daddy stallion, love each other very much..."
***
Outside, Twilight had managed to take the megaphone away from a very incensed Rose.
"Girls, you're overreacting," she said. "Daisy, please, stop pacing back and forth."
"I'm sorry," said the flower pony, "but I'm just so worried. I mean, Colton and I have been going out, and I really like him, and I thought he liked me too..." Her eyes started to waver as tears began to form.
"Daisy, I'm sure he still likes you," said Twilight, before she turned to the others. "None of your boyfriends have stopped liking you. It's just a small thing here, and they can't help it. Let me tell you, sometimes I've cast a spell or two that's addled my brains. As soon as Applejack's cousin leaves town, everything will be–"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" cried Braeburn from inside Sugarcube Corner. Not three seconds later, he burst through the front doors, carrying his beloved clothing articles. He tore through the crowd and down the road as fast as his legs would carry him, determined to run far away from Ponyville and back to someplace he felt safe.
The mares were dead silent. "See?" asked Twilight at length. "He's gone. Everything is back to–"
"OUT OF MY WAY!" shrieked a voice as a white pony barreled through the crowd.
"...normal."
***
"Well, what now?" asked Caramel.
"I think..." Colton pondered. "I'll volunteer to do dishes."
The other stallions nodded in agreement.
"Also," said Lucky, "let's never talk about this again."
The doors burst open again, and in entered a stunning white stallion with a purple mane.
"Is this real?" asked Rare Find.
"Hellooooo!" called what appeared to be Rarity, but a stallion. The other ponies inside, however, were more occupied with their discussion about how this would never, ever be mentioned again, and filed out, paying the newcomer absolutely no attention whatsoever.
Rarity's face was frozen in horror.
"But..." (s)he sputtered. "You... I... I made an effort... GAAAAH!" He stormed over to a table and sat down in a huff.
Rare Find walked up to the now-male Rarity. "Yeah, he just left, soooooo they went right back to being straight... though for what it's worth, you look fabulous."
"Thanks..." Rarity said, lowering his head. "Now I'll have to go back to Twilight and beg her to change it back, and then she'll be all smirking and 'I-told-you-so'..." He took a deep breath and stood back up. "Well, I guess I'd better get it out of the way."
Rare Find watched as Rarity got up, straightened himself out, and marched out the door.
"Was that... Rarity?" asked Eventide.
"Yes," said Rare Find. He turned back to the other stallion. "So, uh..."
"That was... a bit different."
"Yeah." Rare nodded. "Still, it was nice. For once, I was pretty much on the same level as everyone else. Even if it was all kinda silly."
"Heh, yeah," Eventide chuckled. "That was fun. Helped me feel a lot more comfortable." He rubbed the back of his neck. "You know, we should hang out sometime."
Rare Find raised an eyebrow and paused for a minute. "You know," he said, "that sounds like it'd be fun."
***
Braeburn had taken the first train out of Ponyville that he could. It wasn't headed straight for Appleloosa, but he could bear waiting for a bit, just so long as he got out of there fast. He'd just get off at the next station and work his way back home.
Though he admitted to himself he had been a little hasty. He'd just found out about an extraordinary new fact of life, and his freakout was most uncourteous for someone who tried to be as friendly as he normally had. After all, the stallions weren't doing anything unwelcome. They were just being friendly, the way he'd be friendly with a pretty mare he liked. They didn't make unwanted advances (except for that sofa pony) or anything. They were just nice, friendly ponies who liked him and wanted him to like them back.
Still, it was a lot to take in at once. A whole bunch of guys who liked him the way guys normally liked girls.
Well, sorry, folks, but I like mares, he thought to himself. Mighty flattered, though.
In the train's restroom he doused his face in water, trying to clear his head. He looked in the mirror. His face and mane were sopping wet, as though he'd just emerged from the swimming pool. He laughed to himself a bit. It really had been rude of him. After all, he did have to admit he was rather cute, himself. And as he thought about it more and more, he wondered why he seemed to object to having other cute stallions after him.
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Hoo boy, that's not good
A great ending Billy, lookin forward to what comes next from ya
Oh Boy XD
Epic story...
too bad he had to look at a mirror... not even he can stand himself...
encrypted-tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSkgbidudJ65aAEAiQd6V70bQm4hdXXl06NVtbW9IojtxCu9IbJ
Big Mac the manliest stallion there ever was
Ha!, even Braeburn's gay for Braeburn.
Oh lookie thar elusive joined the party
Great ending btw
And this is why I have hope in humanity. Still. Somehow. After everything...
ANYWAY.
Mr. BillyColt, I hereby give to you the Inky Award of Excellence, for standing out as a gemstone among rocks and many, many turds in this land we call FIMFic. This story was not just smart--it was funny, it was well-written, and it played like a legitimate episode. If MLP:FIM was an older cartoon with an older demographic, this could've definitely, DEFINITELY have been an actual episode to air. I mean, the jokes may have been a bit more off-color (or on-color, depending on its status and reputation), but it would have been right up there on the tv screen. I liked it, through and through, and you could potentially write for the show if they needed you.
Good comedy, innocent stuff, and I approve wholeheartedly. Also, major points for 'Male Rarity'--that wasn't expected, but it was so in-character.
Did... did Braeburn just...
Make himself gay for Braeburn?
Oh dear.
This was freakin hilarious!!!!!!javascript:smilie('
');
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i love this fic, and... dat narcissism!
That was a hilarious and fun ride.
He has the same effect on male humans.
1096058
We all now how that ended 2,500 years ago, my friend.
This fic was awesome from start to finish. Just the right touch of nonsense and plot to hit that comedic sweet spot. Also, THAT ending... oooooh boy, I did not see that coming. The perfect finishing touch. Well done!
i believe i detect an epilogue coming.
1096106 Referencing Greek mythology? Well guess what? You're not the only overly-educated brony in the world! Allow me to enlighten you to something intelligent.
I fell in love with a girl at the rock show,
For I am Ozymandias,
The goddamn Batman,
We spoke of ancient times, and poetry, and stories unspoken by mortal tongues for untold millenia,
And it was fucking epic. Peace out.
HA! Brilliant, Expecially Rarity's little genderswap. I wonder if Twilight is going to let her change back to a mare instantly or force her to remain a stallion for a while.
in b4 Rare Find x Eventide story
(Clopfic, obviously)
Excellent. Imagine I said that in the Mortal Kombat 3 announcer's voice.
Nice ending to a nice story!
I need moar.
This was nice and all... but I wanted more gay.
1097011
I didn't think I'd be saying that, but I have to agree!
Loved every minute of this.
Wow, think about the hell of having any stallion you want.
Think about it. You know that your powers make all straight stallions like you. Does that cheapen your relationship? Did you earn those affections? Even if you just become a swinger, what's the point? There's no "thrill of the chase." If I were writing the sequel, these are the themes I would explore. I fear that this could turn easily into gayngst if I weren't careful.
Good fic. Gaeburn is best pony. And I really like his mane.
Great read, I'm glad you got around to finishing this.
Aww, that was silly
Not the most fabulous story ever, but I giggled.
I smiled through much of this. Nice stuff: you played with this rather well.
Could use just a touch more editing, though. In chapter one, there were a few places where there were extra spaces before or after quotation marks. There's also this pile of awkward in the final chapter:
Well, sorry, folks, but I like mares He thought to himself. Mighty flattered, though.
If you're going to interrupt it after the style of dialogue, punctuate it as such, with commas and the "he" lowercase.
1110048
Ah. Thank you.
Eheh. This story is a fairly good example of what happens when I write without any real editing process apart from "fix problems as they're pointed out," as opposed to what I do with The Book of Friendship.
1110467
I figured. Really, I'm kinda irritated with myself that I didn't read this before it came into the EqD submit box, because this is very relevant to my interests.
We have Elusive but no saucy stallions beyond that last scene with wet-mane Braeburn?
I say you could have dared more.
But it was a funny ride nonetheless. I wonder how long it will take him to realize his problem once he has looked away from his reflection.
Even Braeburn went gay for Braeburn. Damn. Saw it coming though.
All the love. Just...all of it.
and I like the subtle FlutterMac.
That was definitely one of the strangest yet amusing things I have ever read.
You get a +brown for that.
Oh no! He's falling in love with HIMSELF!
I just love how naive poor Braeburn was. Of all the curveballs this fic threw, I just found that one to be the most hilarious.
*Facepalms and laughs* That ending just made it perfect/
Rare Find sauntered right up to him. "Let me explain it to you," said he. "Sometimes, when a daddy stallion, and another daddy stallion, love each other very much..."
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Rare reminded me of a few gay friends I have. So well done.
MOAR!
Hey, this finally got finished! And seriously, did Braeburn just fall for himself?
1124805
Nah, I was just in a mood that day.
Rare Find sounds like a cutie XD
I can sum up the entire story with just two words:
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Thumbs Up!
1128330
Well, if you check my blog there's a picture of him an Eventide.
NOW EVERYPONY FUCK!!!
Eventide/Rare Find OTP
Seriously though, what a great story. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and hope whatever else you've written is just as good!
I have tears in my eyes from laughing so much. that was brilliant!
Man, do I love this fic. The ending was just perfect, too. Everypony is gay for Braeburn, including Braeburn.
You had me in stitches the whole way through, mostly of how offensive it would have been if most of the gay bronies (me included) couldn't take a joke. Luckily we can so no big deal, and for the love of god continue writing you brilliant person!
What a great farce! Funny from beginning to end, with a lot of amusing and varied reactions from everypony.
Rare Find could have been a really annoying pony, but I like how you write for him and he turned out cool.
My favorite is chapter 5. I've never thought about it before, but a pony whose special talents are 'furniture for two' and 'feathers' can get up to some serious flirting.
The whole thing was funny!.......... That's it! I've got nothing to elaborate on!
This was a really funny story. I loved it.