BONUS CHAPTER! Deleted content and Fun Facts.
I both hate and love this story for several reasons. It changed drastically from how I first wrote it in the synopsis. (I don’t like change lol) In fact, this story was originally intended to only have 5-7 chapters. One for each of the girls and ending on Rainbow’s turn. I found, though writing this story, that if I’m not extremely specific in my planning notes, I tend to go off on tangents and will often write things into the story on a whim. So when I found that I had added something in early that changes an event later, I would have to revise that entire future scene. Here are a few examples.
Most of you know by now that when I first envisioned the story Coco Pommel wasn’t a character that was supposed to show up. Also, even when she was introduced she was never meant to have such a big part of the story, more or less fading into the background after Rarity’s turn was done. The only reason that she exists in this canon at all was because I wanted to expand on Sunset’s living situation (which was also not planned). But when I continued to write lines for her I found that she was also a fun character to write, with her acting as the mediator between Rainbow and Sunset. She was also a great component in getting Sunset to open up. Acting as an ignorant outside source that Sunset could form a relationship from scratch with helped immensely. Basically, she was exactly who this story needed.
In fact there are a lot of things that I added into the story, mostly small stuff, that exist simply because someone was hoping for it in the comments. So you guys helped this story grow just as much as I did.
Fun Facts about the story!
Even though it wasn't mentioned in the story, I did plan to have Derpy win the fashion contest by designing a line of clothes with bubble designs. One of which was the costume she wears in her scene in Rainbow Rocks. This will come again in the next story but I just wanted to put it here for funzies.
Most of the stories I write tend to kind of play out like an anime in my head so a lot of anime tropes that may seem odd to anyone else reading will often make it into the story. I actually didn’t know that till my editor pointed it out. Sorry about that. I also tend to use a lot anglophilic colloquialisms that luckily aren't as noticeable. (<---- Case in point, I wrote that last sentence without thinking.)
I wrote the scene with Daring and Spirit in CH3.5 completely on a whim. I liked it so much, though that I continued to use it, forcing me to revise several sections in my notes because of that decision. You may have not noticed, and I don’t blame you because of how subtle I was, but my OC appears in this story several times. I often wonder if I should make that into its own story. I guess it depends on how many people want it.
I have, in fact, toyed around with the idea of expanding the Nightmare subplot into something huge by making it so that Sunset’s nightmares were being caused by a split personality that manifested because of the remnants of dark magic left in her body. I even joked about the magic injecting itself into a select few of the students, thus causing them nightmares and in turn making them despise Sunset, and in turn, bully her and push her back towards the darkness. Fun right?
I told myself that it was a stupid idea (in this fic anyway) and that I would not use it under any circumstances… Unfortunately, it still dripped into my writing when Rose mentioned nightmares. But make no mistake. Rose’s nightmares aren’t being caused by some dark magic personality. The fall formal incident threw her into relapse and both she, and Lily, partially blame Sunset for it.
I was originally going to write out a complete song and dance for Pinkie’s attempt at cheering Sunset up. But during the planning of this story, I spent two days straight with a mostly blank sheet before realizing that I suck at songwriting. I can make beats and a rhythm, but lyrics utterly elude me. Remind me to outsource when I need to write Zecora.
I never intended to utilize every Sunset Helper picture in this story, only the two. Though it is my intention to do so for the sequel. Or I may create a series of side stories.
CocoShimmer shipping has slipped in and out of my cerebral subconscious for several sections of this Sunset Shimmer saving story. Surely, it’s nothing… though the thought still lingers...
Twilight was never meant to make an appearance at the end. That was a last minute addition added in as a present to my editor who somehow managed to make this story readable. Thanks again by the way.
(You guys are gonna hate me for this one.) Another fun fact was that he asked me to write a scene with her and Sunset passing one another. Or at least one with Daring recognizing her name from Sunset’s story. Unfortunately, he caught me at a bad time and I declined out of laziness. Of course now I have an excuse. Even though she was shone in this story she won’t be shown in the sequel, since I’m trying to stay in line with canon. (That’s the excuse)
There are a few nightmare scenes that never made it into the final product as they would have forced me to increase the rating of the story. In fact, the very first one is a watered down version of its original. I once went back to read the original and I grimaced to myself wondering what I was thinking. Sunset wasn’t that evil.
The nightmare scenes were also initially created on a whim to increase the overall word count of ch2. But when I saw how it effectively displayed Sunset’s disposition and mental state, as well as how much it added to the tone of the story, I continued.
Daring Do was originally meant to be the one to send Sunset away crying by comparing her to Ahuizotl in how she went to such lengths to acquire a powerful relic. Rainbow would pull a Wonderbolts Academy and tell her off afterwards. Though when I went over it later I found that I couldn’t bring myself to turn her into a bad guy. So I gave that role to Rose’s group since she already had a bad rep as an antagonist.
On that note, making the flower trio take on the role of the bullies was also entirely based on a whim. (SHOCKING RITE?) And only them because I already used Trixie for Rarity’s part. And even after making that decision early on, they were actually not meant to show up after the fashion contest. I do have plans to redeem them later though. Maybe...
I’ve never been bullied before and never bullied another. Thus, writing Rose’s scenes were extremely difficult and required hours of analyzing the testimonials from those who were bullied. And even then I still don’t feel like I accurately portrayed it.
I actually wanted to include an extra scene of Daisy reprimanding her friends much in the same way Coco did. Then one of her convincing them to apologize, but when all was said and done I couldn’t find a good enough place for it. Thus, I’ll probably add it to the next story.
The next story will take place immediately after this one with a less focused plot that details the possible things that happened during the six months in between both movies. Often using the Sunset Helper pictures for inspiration.
Thanks for sticking around till the end. I’ve learned so much from writing this story, ranging from grammar to how to better prepare a story. Like I said, my story notes were bad and were only a small improvement from Well, What Now, which started without any notes and was utterly terrible. However, unlike that story, I loved this one and I’m proud of how it progressed as well as it’s ending. I also love how many people read and supported it. This story gave me an immense boost of confidence in my writing despite the many many many near slip ups. I hope you guys will return when I release the first chapter of the next story in a few weeks.
5558244 I know for a fact that he does not.
I enjoyed your story! Definitely worth the read! Thank you for writing this story!
As for your question, either one is fine as long as you like whatever it is you plan on your next story.
I look forward to your next one!
Welp. This was a fun story.
Sequal hook confirmed! (geez all I had to was read the next chapter to find out.)
Knowing the people on this site, I'm sure most of them wouldn't mind if you added shipping in the sequel, though the story is fine without it (and the couple that did mind might be vocal).
Adding Coco Pommel worked very well for the story as a whole. Thought I did have to occasionally stop and try to picture her as a human, since she didn't get all that screen time in movies that the other main characters did.
5559054 In one of the chapters (CH6 maybe) there's a picture of her and Rarity helping Sunset into her dress. It's really nice and it's generally how I picture Coco.
5558247
Well that sucks.
But the CocoSunset shipping bit sounds interesting. I can picture it to be nothing but adorable.
I would like it to be as close as cannon as you can but I still want a few tiny things to make it own thing
Whatever you feel like, you're the author. As such you possess this wonderful thing called "Artistic Licence" and can do as you please as long as you like it.
I don't mind changes to canon.
First, I gotta say that this was a pretty awesome story. Definitely gonna get hooked on the sequel as well!
And I am all in for some of the fun stuff you mentioned there in the end!
I think stuff like this belongs into a blog, I could be wrong though.
I don't care either way about how close you stick with the canon as long as the story itself is as good as this one.
5560747 lol how odd is it that the God of Physics is asking that. There may be, I'm still planning everything out. In the end it'll probably depend on how close to canon I decide to stay.
5558247 So how do you get them?
ALSO SEQUEL!
Adding Coco was brilliant, and pretty much for the reasons you described, she's someone as kind as Fluttershy, but without the negative history with Sunset to make things more complicated. I'm also grateful you didn't turn this from a story focused on Sunset to a story focused on Twilight, that tends to happen a lot in these stories.
I'm really glad to see Sunset moving back in with Coco, that sounds like an opportunity for great slice of life stories in the future. I do hope we get to see Sunset befriending others in future stories, or at least finding a way to reconcile with the Flower trio.
(And I still hope we get to see Sunset meet President Sombra! )
Your new story already has 10 likes.
5561572 I know it's so awesome!
5573848 Oh sorry if I sent the wrong image. I meant that fictional bullies have nothing behind them. I'm well aware of the psychological aspects of real life bullies. Having studied that sort of thing. I even tried to provide some insight as to why they act the way they do. Deep down I don't believe that any character should be treated as a cardboard cut out.
5581445 Sombra 2015!
5598445 It already has one!
5601884
Yeah, to have the phone. What about paying for coverage?
5602947 I've already come up with a reason for that. It'll be included in Sunset Helper.
The mind of the writer! Awesome!
Slightly not as awesome... typo: shone... I think you mean Shown... unless you wanted the "past and past participle of shine."
Trust me, you portrayed it a lot more accurately than the movies do. Bullies like to try and convince others and/or themselves that they're doing the right thing, which is exactly what the Flower Trio do in this story.
so what exactly was Derpy's role in helping sunset shimmer?
... I had some ideas about Derpy being the sister of Daring Do. but would still like to hear the original idea of this.
I'll say what I always say to that: screw canon, above all else just make a good story.
The human Cmcs become really bad bullies in the comics after Rainbow rocks. Although I don't like the story. It should have come before rainbow rocks. It would have driven the point of the students where the demon.