- Member Since 14th Apr, 2012
- offline last seen Mar 9th, 2020
Shadowflash
If you have any issues with getting your story on the site or any personal issues (eg: depression), PM me. Please don't add me to random Skype groups without asking. Thank you.
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FIRST POST!!!!
I Like
Thank you, Angel.
Well, this is... painful. I'm going to pretend that I didn't just get mind raped by the sex part.
nikkigsblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/fetal-position.jpg
Happy thoughts...
Happy thoughts...
Happy thoughts...
Happy thoughts, my friend.
It's a good story. To me it felt a bit rushed, but that's just me. Adding a few more descriptive sentences can lengthen this and not feel rushed.
Thanks. I'll look over what I can add. I was a bit rushed when making this, Ag3nt. I felt that it ended too quickly.
It's roamed by approximatly six billion, four hundred twenty eight million, eight hundred twenty two thousand, nine hundred humans.
Hurray for hyper accelerated love storys!
DAMN! FINE! SECOND POST!!!!
He slid a pickle directly into his ass.
He slid a pickle directly into his ass.
He slid a pickle directly into his ass.
He slid a pickle directly into his ass.
He slid a pickle directly into his ass.
He slid a pickle directly into his ass.
He slid a pickle directly into his ass
Fuck him.
First! and it seems like your kinda new at this at how short and straight to the point it is but im not criticizing this is really good none the less dude keep it up man you have my support
I suddenly have the desire to go to the basement and magically mature a fire ruby...
Short sweet to the point. Me likey very much. :)
what about the pie?
Chapters were a bit small for my liking. Maybe combine a few chapters together? Because half of these are 1 thousand to 8 hundred..
Mmm. Some of us do sleep. To answer some of your comments: Yes, I am new. And yes, I'll be revising some chapters. And the human's roaming earth question: I just threw in a random number. Don't really care if it was accurate. The rate goes up constantly. No way can someone be 100% accurate about that. I do enjoy the constructive criticism. I'd rather have that then some troll just going like "lulfag".
And, I couldn't throw pie in here. The only reason the tags say 'mane 6' was because 5 of them were in the story and I couldn't fit all the tags I needed. Don't worry, my next story will have all of them.
And, again, I was a bit rushed when making this. I do apologize.
I feel like I need to put up a disclaimer next time..
Okay, before anyone does post, I suggest reading this:
YES I was rushed, I'll get to editing this once I finish some projects tonight for school.
<-
YES I understand magically maturing a Fire Ruby in a basement is considered
Don't read this story if you don't like sex. Honestly, I don't see the problem.
NO I didn't put Pinkie Pie in this story, even if my tags does mention the mane 6. I just couldn't fit all my tags.
YES I am working on another story, which is being edited by my friend: SurpriseThePegasus
YES Pinkie Pie will be in it.
Anyways, if any of you bronies/pegasisters need a background made, feel free to send me a PM. I'm getting good at blending artwork (as you'll see on my next story
) and hopefully I can meet your needs. [If you send me a pic of your OC -- which can be made with General Zoi's pony creator -- then I can implement it into the picture.]
Hope that cleared a few things up. Anyways, keep the constructive criticism going!
awwww yeeeaaaa
only 297 views and 1 comment?
this deserves more
Alrighty, then. You've captured my interest!
459633 no pie
Damn, that was some quick falling in love-ing.
Sorry for not editing yesterday. I went to see The Three Stooges last night -- Great movie -- and didn't get the chance to do anything to this. We'll see what I can do tonight, though.
Minor edits. Not much to be excited for. Just wanted the 10th chapter to be above 1K words.
hmmm.....
463479>>463479 I want the PIE
The proper grammar for quoting poetry is a / between each line.
i don't know any poems to demonstrate this so i'll use this
This is line one
this is line two
this is line three
this is line five
"this is line one / this is line two / this is line three / this is line five"
I understand Shakespeare, but that quote was one I made up. So; no proper quoting required. At least that's my philosophy. Thanks for the tip, though
i really liked reading this one it had a good plot in it
First off, great story. After reading the comments I don't think there's really anything else I can add, since I don't tend to over-analyze what I read.
Second, the ending. Is this a hint at a sequel? I hope so, it'd make this more than just a "fantasy-tale" (not that there's anything wrong with that).
481151 Someone asked me to make a sequel. I'm thinking about it.
482265
DO IT! I think the whole "disruption in time/space" is a neat genre to hit up (if that's what you were aiming for).
482444 I'm actually working on the sequel right now, to be honest.
482488
Haha, good. I was making a fanfic but got busy with college and such. Might start working on it again.
482497 Yeah, that stuff gets in the way too much. I do it cause I have a lot of free time and still in High School.
482517
Funny thing is normally I would have free time... But other parts of college usually kill my writer's flame.
482524 Here's my motto: Go over, go under, go around or go through. But never give up. Just because something hinders you, doesn't mean you can't find a way around it. Yeah, sure, exams are important now. But afterwards, you can work on all the fics you want!
482528
Oh I know. That's how I got my other three books worked out. Sadly though, those aren't pony-based and don't quite fit on here.
482533 Make all the characters ponies. :3
482536
Ya know, that thought had crossed my mind. I might try it out. Would you be willing to read over at least the first few chapters if I did?
482537 Sure. Send me a PM if you have them over Google Docs.
482543
I don't at that. But now that I think over the story, I don't know how well it'd fit in ponydom.
Here's the link to the story (human version) on dA.
If you want take a gander. The second one is called "A Distorted Reflection" if you wanna read that too.
482551 Send me the link in PM. I don't think it'll appear over comments.
482556
Huh, I guess not. Thanks.
482559
482560
Okay, I'm gonna sound like an idiot but I'm new here... How do I send a PM? I see you have your own comments section but I don't think that's what ya mean.