Chapter X
Written Script was so busy hyperventilating that he didn't even notice that he and Carrot Top had entered the throne room. He had never done well in social situations, less so when dealing with celebrities. Factor in that it wasn't a celebrity, but the Princesses of the Sun and Moon that they were meeting, and one could see why he was so freaked out.
He was freaking out so much that he didn't even notice that he had reached the center of the throne room, or that the guard to his right had already announced the two of them. He did, however, notice that the two Princesses were looking at him with a mixture of concern and compassion. “Written Script, are you feeling well?” Princess Luna asked him uncertainly.
Written Script gave a squeak similar to that of a stepped on mouse, then promptly passed out.
“I'm sorry, Your Highness,” Carrot Top said, trying to simultaneously bow and wave off the concern being directed towards the comatose stallion. “My husband... doesn't do well when meeting others, especially those he holds in high regards. I'm afraid that your presence has overwhelmed him.”
“Are you sure he will be okay?” Celestia asked as she examined the comatose stallion.
“Quite sure. He'll be fine,” Carrot Top said as she rose from her bow, shuffling back and forth on her hooves.
“Very well,” Princess Luna said, sitting back down on her throne. “Captain Seeker, please have the poor stallion moved somewhere where he may recover.”
Captain Dark Seeker saluted at this, then motioned for a pair of guard ponies to move the unconscious Written Script to another room. After he had left, both Princesses sat down on their thrones again, then looked at the quietly sweating mare that was left behind. “Miss Top, it has come to our attention that you and your husband recently met with a... rather unique being while exploring the White Tail Woods. We were hoping that you could tell us what happened during that meeting,” Celestia asked.
Carrot shuffled nervously from hoof to hoof before answering. “What do you intend to do to him?” she asked.
“We merely want to understand him, and to help him if we can. The creature's life is, to be frank, a tragedy. We hope to change that,” Princess Luna said, sadness in her eyes.
Carrot Top looked up at the Princesses at this, a question in her gaze as she opened her mouth. “What happened to Defender?”
* * *
I don't know how long we remained like that, but my sobbing eventually slowed, then stopped as I finally cried myself dry. I sniffled a little, slightly mortified that not only had I cried like a sissy, but that I had witnesses to my emasculation. Well, at least they have no way of knowing that crying in public isn't the most masculine thing to do on my planet... I thought as I wiped my eyes on the back of my hand. I also had a large buildup of mucus where my nose was supposed to be, but there was very little I could do about that until I got my hands on a decent tissue.
Now that my eyes were clear and I was somewhat coherent, I could finally make out the forms of the other individuals around me. The two closest to me were The Pink One (who's mane had somehow re-inflated, don't ask me how) and, surprisingly enough, the yellow pegasus with the butterfly tattoo. Her long mane and tail were pink, and her mane seemed to form a heart shape whenever I glanced her way. As I looked at her, she smiled, her sapphire gaze boring into my soul, filling it with a quiet peace. She had seemed timid whenever I had spotted her in town, but apparently that timid nature hid a much braver pony underneath.
About fifteen feet in front of me I could see the other four that had followed me into the forest. I recognized them all, having seen them from a distance as I had observed the town, but only now being able to really get a good look at them. I could see that the blue, rainbow maned, sound-barrier breaking pegasus had a rainbow lightning-bolt tattooed on her flank. It suited her spectacularly, especially seeing as how she was probably just as fast as the electricity depicted on her flank. She was hovering above the others, an aggressive expression on her face as she gave me the stink eye with those large, violet eyes (not that I could blame her).
Directly underneath her was the orange pony with the stetson. I had spotted her selling apples from time to time, and she seemed to be responsible for running the apple orchard just outside of town. Her hair was a deep golden color, with her mane and tail both tied up into ponytails. I could see that three apples adorned her flank, but on her face was an expression of distrust, written as plain as day in those green eyes of hers.
She also had a lasso in her mouth. How she thought she was going to swing that darned thing was beyond me, but I was still leery of it. After watching the pegasi control the weather, I wasn't really sure about what was impossible anymore. She wasn't making any threatening moves at the moment, though, so I filled the lasso under 'freak out about later.'
To the farm pony's right, I spotted a white unicorn with an immaculately styled purple mane and tail, while on her flank I could see a trio of diamonds that reminded me strongly of Minecraft for some reason. I knew that she ran the weird carousel clothing store, but little else, thanks to my less than stellar knowledge of pony customs or languages. On a guess though, I figured she was probably a little snobbish, and just a bit too obsessed with appearances.
On her face was a look of complete disgust and horror, though her sapphire gaze wasn't trained on my face. Rather they were locked on my Awesome Pants of Wonder. Why on earth she was so enamored by my pants was beyond me, though on a guess I would say that she was probably struck speechless with just how awesome they were.
However, as fascinating as the various reactions of the alien ponies were, my attention was inevitably drawn to the purple unicorn who was cautiously approaching me. She had dark blue hair with a pink and purple stripe running through her mane and tail, and on her flank I could see a starburst tattoo with five, smaller stars surrounding it. I had seen her about town before, and honestly she had terrified me more than any of the others, what with all the teleporting and spellcraft that I had seen her use.
She looked at me with those violet eyes of hers, almost as if she were asking a question. As I watched, I saw her fear fade, only to be replaced by something else entirely. Someone behind her said something, and she responded in an almost off-hand manner, almost as if she wasn't really paying attention to the question.
She said something, a single word, phrased in the form of a question. It took me a second to realize that she was talking to me. I just shook my head at this, then shrugged my shoulders, trying to convey that I couldn't understand what she was saying.
She nodded at this, almost as if she were expecting that reaction, then closed her eyes in concentration. I saw her horn light up, and I reflexively flinched back, only to be comforted as a yellow hoof touched my arm. The yellow pegasus, Butterfly I decided, then said something to the purple unicorn. Her tone was stern, far more so then I thought would ever come from such a timid creature. She then spoke to me in a comforting fashion as she gently rubbed my arm with her hoof, similar to how one would comfort an animal when it was scared.
I was okay with this, oddly enough. It wasn't like we could understand each other, so the animal approach was probably her best bet on how to interact with me. That being said, I felt a lot more calm as the purple unicorn, Star, quickly spoke to Butterfly. I assumed she was explaining what she was trying to do, but that was all I could do; assume.
Star's horn began to charge once more, but with both The Pink One and Butterfly at my sides, I felt no fear as whatever Star was doing began to take effect. I felt a slight tingle in my ears and throat, but other than that, nothing seemed to-
“...happy greetings?” Star said, though I could tell that that wasn't what she really said. She had said something in her native tongue, but somehow I could hear a second instance of her voice overlaying the first, translating what she said into words I could understand.
“...Do you understanding reached?” she asked, tilting her head to one side.
This was it. After months of lurking in the shadows, being unable to communicate, fearing what the response to my presence would be, I finally was able to talk to someone. Someone on this planet had finally been able to translate what they were saying into words that I could understand!
...Only, there was a problem. I could understand her, sure, but that didn't mean that she could understand me. Whatever They did to me, it included making sure that it was impossible for me to communicate in any normal fashion. Trust me, I tried. All that has ever came out of my throat since waking up on this world has been unintelligible garbage and a howl that would have soaked the pants of any horror film fan.
This did not stop me from at least trying.
* * *
“Do you think it worked?” Fluttershy asked nervously as she looked up at the strange creature.
“How do you even know that it has a language to begin with? It could just be an animal, and that your gift with animals is the only thing keeping it from killing us all?” Rainbow asked, jutting her chin out aggressively at the creature.
“Hold on there Rainbow, the critter may be as ugly as sin, but it 'taint no animal. Don't you remember how it treated Carrot? And what about the fact that it was hugging Pinkie Pie before we even showed up? Fluttershy had nothing to do with this, and you know it!” Applejack said, spitting out her rope as she spoke.
Twilight just rolled her eyes at this, and turned her head to say something to Rainbow Dash as well, only to stop and whip her head back when she heard something come from the direction of the creature. “I... understand...” the masculine voice said. However, underneath the voice created by her spell, Twilight could hear another voice, one that was far more terrifying and completely unintelligible. Honestly, the voice just sounded like tortured grumbling with a high pitched scream overlaying the grumbles.
At that point, Twilight knew that something was very wrong with the creature. The spell was designed to take the words that were spoken by any sapient, and used the aethiric vibrations carried by those words and create new ones in the subject's own voice that could be understood by anypony under the spell's effects. However, the words created here were garbled, almost as if the creature was speaking through a hoof full of marbles.
This could mean a number of things, such as the subject of the spell having some form of brain malady that would prevent it from forming words correctly. However, that was unlikely given that such a malady would make translations just as garbled and random as whatever the subject had said in the first place. No, another reason is probably at work here... Twilight thought grimly to herself.
Historically, whenever the spell had been used on anypony who had had their tongues removed, or if their vocal cords had been damaged in some way, they would usually talk in a similar fashion, despite the fact that they were unable to form intelligible words at all. This fact added itself to the others that were part of her growing hypothesis about the creature.
“Are you unable to speak properly?” she asked the creature uncertainly. It closed its mouth with an audible snap, then slowly nodded its head while closing its eyes, almost as if it were ashamed.
“Don't worry, we can still understand you, but barely. The spell translates what you mean to say, not what you actually say,” she said clearly and slowly, making sure that the spell had plenty of time to work its magic.
The creature's eyes shot open at this, and its head shot up in what she could only assume was surprise. “I... ask how, but knowing I wouldn't understand... saying what you mean,” it said, its words filled with frustration. “Whatever you use make understanding happen, only broken understanding happen. I know pony saying, but not pony saying.”
Twilight nodded at this, and was about to ask a question, but stopped when she felt a nudge to her side. “Well? What's it saying? You didn't exactly cast the spell on the rest of us,” Rainbow asked, slightly irritated.
“Oh! Sorry! I forgot, here...” Twilight said, quickly casting the spell on the others. “The spell doesn't create a perfect translation, and the creature noticed this. Other than that, you already know everything I've learned. Don't pester it-him with questions, though, I don't think he's ready for a full blown question and answer session yet.”
“No, not ready. Ready tomorrow, not want talk long, meet with high rulers. Talk then, tell all,” he said as he sat down on his rump. “Will talk some now, though, answer questions, not lot.”
“You're meeting with your rulers? What are they like? Do they like parties? Ooh, I bet they-” Pinkie said as she bounced around the terrifying creature.
However, the creature interrupted her with a single finger on her lips. “I not speaking 'my rulers', I did wish. Speaking your rulers,” he said, lowering his finger.
As Twilight tried to work this fragmented phrase out in her head, she was interrupted by a gasp from behind. “You're meeting with Princess Celestia and Princess Luna? Wearing that!?” Rarity asked in horror.
Twilight turned her head to tell Rarity off, thinking that the creature might be offended by this, but stopped when she heard him chuckle. “Not come with triple part suit. Only skin on back, not even my skin...” he said darkly. “However, just made today, myself. No knowledge before, proud what done. Not easy, not easy at all,” he said as he picked at the leather pants he wore.
Twilight wasn't too concerned about the leather, though she knew many ponies that would have lost their lunch even at the thought of one creature wearing the hide of another. After all, Twilight had a pet owl, and one of her best friends happened to be an omnivore. Not to mention that when she had lived in Canterlot Castle she had met many of the dignitaries from the Griffon Kingdom. Most of these dignitaries would wear the traditional garb of their clan, which usually involved a trophy of some kind worn around the neck, usually obtained from a hunt or battle.
“So, where do you come from? I haven't seen anything like you before, that is, if it's okay that I ask, that is...” Fluttershy trailed off nervously.
“I not answer that, not knowing if rulers want you know where come from,” he said uncertainly.
“Then just what are you? Can you answer that? And why were you hanging outside Sugar Cube Corner?” Rainbow Dash asked as she flew up close to him, eying him, daring him to make a move. The creature just flinched back at this, almost as if he wanted to run away again.
However, before he was able to do so, Pinkie Pie's forehoof shot up like lightning. “Ooh! Ooh! I know the answer to one of those! I invited him! He was the guest of honor at the 'Welcome to Ponyville' party we were having!” she said, as Twilight pulled Rainbow back with her magic.
“What? Why would you invite a monster to Ponyville? What were you thinking!?” Rainbow asked in shock.
“Rainbow Dash, he's not a monster!” Fluttershy gasped.
“No... she right... Am monster,” the creature said, shaking his head sadly as he cradled his head in his hands. “Taken from home, from family. Changed, made weapon, weapon to hunt, to kill. Escaped. If go home, killed for looking like monster. Am monster, am...” the creature said, his voice shakier, more garbled than it was before.
Before the creature was able to say anything else, though, he was interrupted when Fluttershy wrapped her arms around the creature's neck, pulling him into a soft hug. “There there, you're not a monster...” she said softly into his ear as he continued to shake uncontrollably.
Rainbow backed up a bit at this, clearly shocked by these words. “I... I didn't know...”
Before she was able to apologize further, however, the creature continued to speak, its voice becoming increasingly harder to understand. “I come, hide in many trees, thinking ponies never accept. Would be killed, go pony town, but wrong. When orange pony hurt self, I bring to town. Guards find me, not hurt, return to cave. See that not monster, just monster on outside.”
He then looked up at Rainbow, his expressionless, soulless eyes boring into her. “Why? Why ponies give doubt? Why ponies give chance? Look monster,” he said, looking down at his hands. “Am monster. Scare ponies, but still give chance. Why?”
Rainbow just shook her head, unable to shake her gaze from those black eyes that seemed to be reaching into her soul, searching for the reason behind her kinds inexplicable kindness. When he didn't find the answers though, his gaze dropped as he let out a sigh. “Couldn't even try talk, not know language. So watch, remember old life, hunt, survive. Try make clothes for coming winter, out here for long time. Know death come eventually, but not willing die. Decide fight, live, prove that can turn sour fruit into drink, or at least into burning sour fruit,” he said as he chuckled mirthlessly to himself.
“What's your name, partner?” Applejack asked uncertainly, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had followed that last cryptic statement.
“My... name... Defender of People,” he said, wiping his eyes with the back of his hands.
“Defender of People? What a lovely name, very noble,” Rarity said, trying to cheer him up.
Defender shook his head at this, then hiccuped. “Not 'Defender of People', Defender of People.”
“You've lost me darling...” Rarity said gently.
“It's not his fault, Rarity,” Twilight said quickly. “He said his name, but we don't have any words in our language that directly translate to what his name means. This made the spell string a collection of words together that best matched the meaning of the name. I'm not even sure what the original name is supposed to be because of how... radically... his mouth and throat have been... changed.”
“Well, if'n it's a spell that's making him look like that, couldn't you change him back?” Applejack asked as she came closer to Twilight.
Twilight just shook her head at this. “I don't think it's magic. I scanned him while I was casting my translation spell, and I couldn't detect any polymorphic magic, much less any magic from the transfiguration school. Whatever...They...did to him, it isn't magical in nature. At least, it isn't a magic that I can detect.”
Defender nodded at this, then stood up. “Point reached, going home. Not want you trouble with rulers, for what said today. We talk later, yes?” he asked hopefully.
“Hold it! You can't go yet, you haven't even had a slice of cake!” Pinkie said as she leaped to her hooves, a look of horror on her face.
Defender just chuckled at that, then bent down and patted her on the head. “Not happen. Tired, need sleep before meeting royalty. No, party later, once everything calm,” he said.
He then turned and disappeared into the forest. Twilight wanted to stop him, ask him more questions, but stopped herself. She knew that Defender had been through a lot, that he wouldn't answer anything that he wasn't ready to answer. She also knew that Celestia would contact her after meeting with Defender, especially if she sent a letter to Celestia tonight.
“What kind of monster would do that to an innocent creature?” Fluttershy asked, her eyes filled with horror as she watched Defender disappear.
“I don't know, Fluttershy, I really don't know...” Twilight said.
In commemoration of this story reaching 6000+ views and 1000+ likes, I bring you...
ANOTHER CHAPTER!
considering they have free association with a predatory species of cat birds............. how would a human be scary?
Oh, this was a good one! I'm impressed!
Also, I have no real references, but if you want, I'll preread it for you. You can look over my stories for examples of my grammar and spelling, if you want.
...First off, nice picture, second I became somewhat tear eyes of the interaction and saw how nice the six are, at least they haven't the 'attack first, question later' mindset when they see something different and 'dangerous', good job.
Combustable lemons?
Woo New chapter! Can't wait for more!!
5180386 DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I'M CAVE JOHNSON! I'M THE MAN WHO'S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN WITH THE LEMONS!
5180390
shirtoid.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Combustible-Lemon.jpg
Awesome new chapter. Can't wait when he finaly meets with Celestia and Luna... and has this Party with Pinkie Pie and the others
5180390 lol
Also, thank you for not making her speech/hearing spell and all out fix-it solution. I was worried there for a minute.
Guh, right in the feels!
Love the translation spell. This. This is how universal translators would work.
Good story
Good writer
Don't fear
Your doing good
5180376 Do try and remember that his outward appearance has changed to make him look like a monster.
I like where this is going so far, I also like how well you've written. Hopefully this story doesn't get too dark. I wouldn't be able to finish this story if it gets to where aliens are showing up and warping the bodies of ponies.
I think that you managed to get the personalities down pretty well, and the interaction was great
I'm loving this story, and it is really great that a two way communication, no matter how faulty, was established.
It just makes me wonder when will it all fall apart (it's bound to happen). Don't get me wrong, I'd love to see it progress without fault myself
It's just that so far, from the earlier chapters, it appears like something bad will eventually happen.
Regardless, onwards!
Also, glad you're better now. You are better now, right? If not, we'll just get Pinkie to get you a get better party
5180456 The creature is of my own design, but The Rake would be the closest in appearence. Seriously, I've never even heard of the rake until after I posted the first chapter, then I was flooded with "It's the rake!" comments.
This of course led me to find out what the rake was.
5180462 Yeah, my fever broke, so I'm doing better now. Also, glad you enjoyed the chapter so much!
Fuckin glorious, really loving this fic, and you did that scene srs justice.
Was a blast to read, A-grade feely shit right there.
Yes. More. MORE MORE!
Interesting.
so far this is a fantastic story! You could have made it a simple matter of the ponies see him and call him a monster, but you have managed to make a far more interesting story while keeping the mane six and other characters in character.
plus you have managed to make me feel genuinely sorry and sad for defender
All in all, awesome story, cant wait to see more!
The waiting was well worth it! I really was hoping Twi would have a way to help the poor guy.
Something tells me that Tia, Lulu, the Mane 6 along with Carrot and her dude will be a full party at his cave.. but I could be wrong
Keep going mate, I'm loving this
I could preread but not edit (i have the grammar noticeing skills of a 10 year old)
... ... ...
̠̖͔͐̉͒̐̂̑̏͐͠
̡͚̦̾̋̃̌͆̈̄ ̹͚̑ͭ̒͒͂̓̅ ̵͍͑̈̃̎̃̆͐ ͊̒͌͂͒ͯ̄ͧ͏̛͈̣̯̦H̨̻̤̗̬̎̂̕͢ͅͅE̗̜̹̫̬̾̉̓̐͗̌̈́ͦ ͩ̉̌ͨͮͧ҉̛͖̬̖̘̱̟̀ ̷̨̡̤̬͙̲͍̤̗̦ͯͯͧ̇͑̑͐̚C̵̵̠̩͙̥̻̩̞͗ͪ̂O̙̩̬̞̗̟ͨͭ̿̾̏̀M̫̲̪͈̲͖̭̊ͦͧ̍ͪ̄́E̦̯̪͕͑͑͗̆S̵̯̞̱̗̝̥͐ͤ̂̈̈́ͬ̉̒.̦̭̀̃̌͟͞
I like how this chapter whent. It could have gone terribly if you went down the rout of everypony just trying to run him out of ponyville, but you didnt, and I glad about that.
I think it worked quite well. But then again I'm a hack, so I dunno.
But seriously, nice.
i can also preread and give feedback.
Plus we can give ideas for the story.
Text-wise, we can be imaginative.
ESPECIALLY ME!!!!
For not having a proofreader or editor you are doing an excellent job. I saw no obvious grammar errors.
The characters all seem pretty close to cannon as well.
Please keep going with this.
Fucking hell it is here so there is god. For some reason alex's simpel way of speaking remind me of a caveman (which is good thing here) his simple speaking style gives him creepy cute feel to him which makes him more likabel.
I began to crywhen he was describing what happened to him and the emotional turmoil contained within. I think you did great on this chapter
Overall, I loved this chapter. There was one part that I think was detrimental though.
The part when Alex finished his cry and gives a quick synapsis of each pony that is approaching him. He has calmed down a bit, but his thoughts and feelings are in termoil right now. Yet he calmly takes the time to notice and analyze each pony individually. It simply feels off that he notices and makes note of all of this in this situtation.
But as for the main cast personalities? I think you did great. This really was an exceptional chapter.
No editor for this? I might beable to help you with that...
Requiem17 is my author, why don't you try him?
I think you did fine with the language barrier, the spell doesn't seem that over powered as it's not perfect and it still makes small mistakes (minor grammar errors, etc.)
Make sure to rest well and drink lots of fluids. Tea with honey helps recover energy without upsetting your stomach!
And the feelings :,) Everyone is written in character well, especially Rarity's horror at the pants.
5180390 YEAH!!! BURN HIS HOUSE DOWN!!!
Burning people, he said what we're all thinking!
Not bad, not bad at all. I feel like you got the personalities pretty much spot on, and the slightly garbled translation spell (particularly the part with the lemon idiom) was perfect. Well done.
About the only lingering worry I have about the story is that it'll end up being one of those cliche "human comes to Equestria and saves it from the bad guys with his awesome power" type things. But you've surprised me before, and you've made a setup that has been butchered by a lot of authors before you both interesting and entertaining, so I believe that you'll continue to do so.
5180468
So, does that mean there's no chance of him meeting up with a sexy female rake and having little rake babbies?
fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2011/040/1/2/__she_is_the_rake___no__2_by_theickyman-d3958jh.jpg
5180844 Thanks for the input! Yeah, I wasn't really sure about that part either, but I threw it in anyway because this was the first time he'd ever seen the mane 6 up close, so I thought it'd be the perfect time for me to describe what they look like, because descriptions.
glad you liked the chapter anyway! (despite the rather shaky portion in the middle).
5180871 um... no. not going to happen. Glad you liked the chapter, though!
Don't worry about the 'human saving equestria with his awesome powers' thing. That isn't going to be a thing, trust me.
"Instead of hitting the dislike button tell me why?"
Well then how about I do the opposite and hit the like button and not tell you?
5180974 NOO!!! I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO LIVE DOWN THE SHAME!!!
5180871
Thank you.
I am now scarred for life.
More than I already am anyway.....
5180995
Always happy to help.
5180864
Just don't burn the cake...
Not a lie!
Twice a monster, once a man,
Oh things do not always go to plan.
Twisted and turned, his body and mind.
His situation, in a bind.
You must always be wary, my friend...
Lest your life come to end.
5180376
I like how you described owls as "cat birds."
Owls and cats hunt much the same prey, are awake at similar times, stay in groups if they can (clans of cats, parliaments of owls) and their eyesight and hearing are their two strongest senses.
The only difference that I can see is that one has a beak, feathers, and talons while the other has fur, a mouth with teeth, and paws with claws.
Owls = sky cats.
I believe that the word for owl in a Chinese language translates to "sky cat" or "cat bird" but I'm unsure which language. I know its used by the Chinese, though.
5181215 I think they meant griffins, although now that say that, Owls really are sky cats.
5181215 ...gryphons dudes. gryphons.
Very nice chapter; especially without an editor. One recommendation I'd like to make is to reword the beginning a little. You use the same phrasing for the description of Ivory's nervousness and Carrot's explanation for his fainting; just a little repetitive...
dont worry, i 'll be gentle
Don't clench, it will only hurt more.
Seriously though, I don't really see the need for a prereader. It's looking pretty great. The only thing I would change is in the beginning, where you have both text and dialogue saying that Script isn't very social, especially with celebrities.
tell me more of this tale! so that i may throw it a party and enjoy it's company!