Fluttershy has been cursed by an amulet. Can Twilight fix it or not?
Chapters (2)
Fluttershy mlp
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Hmm.... The concept is nice but the delivery is awkward. It's kinda like,"She ate it for she was hungry." Not natural,right? When people read a story, they want it as natural as possible. Also, you are telling not showing. She fainted. You could say, she fell to the floor, her head spinning. Soon, an open sea of darkness overcame her. She was more beautiful yet corrupted. How about, her already beautiful face became even more so, making stallions fall head over hooves at first sight. Then her kind heart, suddenly corrupted. It was like good to evil. How about: The aura around her that represented kindness and love vanished into thin air, replaced by cruelty and hatred. Her heart became bitter, with no love. But the most obvious change was her eyes. Her eyes, once so innocent, once so pure became malicious and plotting. There are many more, actually but I just gave you some examples. You can take this lightly since I'm not a professional but I hope I have helped!
I agree with technix. It's a good concept, but try to show, rather than tell. The fun of a story is in watching things unfold, not in being told that they did.
Keep reading, and keep writing. Best way to work out these issues is to keep at it.
Just finished this chapter!
Is this... Nightmare Fluttershy? I've never seen a Nightmare Flutters fic before...
Hi! I am BwhoUR, one of the newer writers on this site. I do have a couple fics that went popular, and while i'm not a "respected reviewer," i'll give you that I do have some experience. Anyway, enough about me, on to you and your story
I am enjoying this story. I do hope that you don't let any negative reviews get you down. People are just trying to help
I have spotted some capitalization and grammar mistakes, and while i'm not picky about that stuff, I know that some people are and I recommend editing twice, just to be sure. I enjoy the concept of this story, the whole "nightmare fluttershy," Is a very good concept and I applaud you for being so original 
The thing that did bother me a little was not only the pacing (which was a tad fast,) but the language in the story. Treat your words as a piece of beautiful artwork, make them lavish, beautiful, and interesting, like Rarity 
otherwise, all the characters are in perfect context, you gotta love angel. (I'm pretty sure angel i a guy though...) and I hope you will continue with the story. I always get my inspiration from this song. Always keep writing! 
4965535 thanks for the techniques I would use them in the next chapter
4974300 thanks :)
4995589
Of course, sometimes you can tell or 'show and tell'. I do recommend the writing guide on this site. It is very useful. Sorry for the late reply!