• Member Since 17th May, 2014
  • offline last seen Jan 19th, 2020

AG Phenxore


I do arcs. Big ones that seem to never end, and make you sad when they do. Never ask me for a one shot. Ever. It wont work. Promise.

E

During a particularly intense day at the studio, the interrupting manager was warmly welcomed. Octavia had a couple hours to kill, and there was no way she would be spending them not sitting at home with a warp cup of tea between her hooves. Once at her house with a pot of tea brewing, she hears the sweet singing of Sweetie Bell. "Well, we do need another vocalist..."

Cover Art by the brilliant Mariam R! Go check her out!

Re-posted and now edited by Soaring!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 2 )

Looks like a cool story, and I'd like to see where it goes. Tracking.

You've got a couple of verb tense issues, though. Did you notice? Might want to watch out for that. For example:

A rather large yawn escapes while she sits down on a sofa, "Finally, a moment to relax."

Another thing to note is that "finally" has two Ls in it, and commas are used with said tags, not action tags. The writing guide will explain that.

I'm not trying to be critical or anything, just letting you know there are things you might want to watch out for next time. If you are still insulted, tell me so.

5327094

Nope, sounds about like me. Hehe.

Login or register to comment