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Twilight never wanted this. All she wanted was to live a happy life with her friends. Though she can’t even have that anymore now.
It was a simple spell, just a small alteration she made to make it better, to let her peek into the future. How could it have all gone so wrong. Why did fate have to be so cruel
Pre/proof-read by: sbloom85 and Kraken Hatchling
Reviewed by:
The Pleasant Commentator and Review Group (Deathpony45)
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Very interesting and happily well written. I would love to see this expanded into a longer story.
I would also like to hear Discord's response to Celestia's stance on fate. Though I expect it can be summarized with howling laughter.
This was really good. Well written and made me wish that there was more of it to read, and I liked how it takes you into her psyche a bit as she struggles with her accidental curse. It made it fascinating, and kept me wondering what would happen next. It'd certainly be nice to see more like this.
Fate can be cruel, but is not set in stone.
Truly a masterpiece, though the words don't do it justice.
It begs for a sequel and also begs for it not to be.
Was Celestia right? She might well have been. Fate in Equestria does seem to follow strangest of patterns to ensure that though bad things keep happening, the greatest of disasters are always averted through most unlikely coincidences. Many horrible decisions by the characters turn out to be just what was needed in the end. To try to break this pattern could truly have disastrous consequences. And yet it is human and by extension pony nature to try to defy fate.
Would it be more tragic for her to try to interfere only to discover that all her attempts are ultimately in vain?
Or to succeed and discover that she should have taken action and she didn't?
Would she ultimately succumb to darkness and insanity, or would she force the world to make sense?
A new story could answer all those questions, but in doing so it would kill all the other possibilities.
And just half an hour later I happen upon a story that takes the same idea of fate and twists it completely the other way.
5406343
Everything you said is the exact reason I'm not going to write a sequel and why I left the ending as ambiguous as it is. Because any more would just ruin it. It's like the old saying goes, perfection is reached not when there is nothing left to add but when there is nothing left to take away.
5406453
And now I'm off to read whatever this is!
So. You did it.
Now I am about to read through your work.
Very well written (although some variants of eyes / look / look into eyes may be better - just my opinion)
Disturbing. Honestly glad that people don't know who and when we die because it would take so much out of life. Solid work but my only critique is that you start off a lot of your sentence with I. It does get a tad repetitive, and yes it is a first person story.
5419898
Not a lot I can do with the action of looking into eyes. I guess I could have switched it up with "gazed" or "viewed" or something. But by a certain point in the story where a lot of the looking into the eyes happens, Twilight was sort of not caring about it anymore and I was going for emotionless actions.
5424679
You know of all the emotions and reactions I was trying to convey with this story disturbing wasn't one of them. Though I can see how it could be disturbing by everything that happens in the story. Thanks for reading.
5425089
Wasn't meant to be bad. It was more like an epiphany of how death can lurk just behind the next corner and I'd be walking right into it.
Hey man just got the reviews Kent is at rly do we so go check it out if you'd like it's right Here. Thanks for making my first review with the group a good one
a very intriguing story. is this twilights fate, to see everyones death? she seems to have been fated so. I wonder what she sees when she looks in a mirror?
i am reminded of the lines from THE TIME MACHINE, in which Alexander says: "i could come back a thousand times...only to see her die a thousand different ways." Would that be true for twilight too? if she did take action, would she be able to change anything?
could twilight rid herself of the curse by removing her eyes, like ray milland did in THE MAN WITH THE X RAY EYES?