Epic gamer, funny, loves eating, sleeping, making people laugh, Lots of fun, music enthusiast, editor, adviser, etc. I hope you enjoy what little I have to offer...
DJ here! Things are looking up for me right now... New car... new house... 4 new mouths to feed... And they're not human mouths either! Wait what? They come in white, purple, pink and dark blue and I can tell you that they're interesting characte
These ponies could give bonobos a run for their money. Contains slightly more fluff and cuteness than Yellow Sun Turns Red. Contains Masochistia, DomLuna, and Princest. And sharing is caring with the Mane 6.
When the girls succeeded in befriending Discord they made a mistake. Chaos will always be present in any world, and it is better to keep the devil you know.
Andy Hendrickson should be nothing more than a normal man with a normal life in Equestria, but that would be too simple and easy for him. Nope, instead, he has someone to bother him every day with her needs and her children's needs.
You're a human baby found and adopted by the two most powerful ponies in Equestria. You, together with your little sisters, are going to be the future rulers of Equestria someday. Unless fate decides otherwise
Spike decides to take a leaf from Big Mac's book by speaking as little as possible to see if that will finally spark Rarity's interest in him and a relationship.
It's well written and detailed, if a bit lacking in character interaction/dialogue. I like it. Hope the creative process for this type of work becomes less awkward for you eventually. Keep it up!
Hmm...from what I can tell it seems to be human lover with Luna still as a alicorn please correct me If I'm wrong. Now the plot is in reality good especially considering how awkward you said it was for you to write this. Now the characters are speaking normally and acting normally within reason however there were a few moments where the interaction seemed more awkward then anything else. Finally the sex honestly I can understand it being awkward so I will be easy on you. You did one thing right actually you transaction to it flow into it making the sex nothing but emotion very good on that part. However it seemed to be nothing more then just casual sex not a pent up feeling like the story says it is overall I shall give you a 5.8/10. Overall all I can say if you want to write clop I would try to either make it not that awkward for you or write story's without it because your not a bad writer and could possibly be the next Vinyl_Wubs
Started out really well, but then it went far too fast. If you feel "forced" to write clop, don't do it. And watch for the hooves/hands like intervir said. 7/10
2nd person writing screams "I just re-formated a text roleplay" and called it a story. For recomendations, perhaps more storyline first. Instead of starting in the middle and then backtracking to explain, start the beginning of a story at the beginning.
It's well written and detailed, if a bit lacking in character interaction/dialogue. I like it. Hope the creative process for this type of work becomes less awkward for you eventually. Keep it up!
Wow. This was erotic. I liked it. Now, Celestia needs to get laid.
Hmm...from what I can tell it seems to be human lover with Luna still as a alicorn please correct me If I'm wrong.
Now the plot is in reality good especially considering how awkward you said it was for you to write this. Now the characters are speaking normally and acting normally within reason however there were a few moments where the interaction seemed more awkward then anything else. Finally the sex honestly I can understand it being awkward so I will be easy on you. You did one thing right actually you transaction to it flow into it making the sex nothing but emotion very good on that part. However it seemed to be nothing more then just casual sex not a pent up feeling like the story says it is overall I shall give you a 5.8/10.
Overall all I can say if you want to write clop I would try to either make it not that awkward for you or write story's without it because your not a bad writer and could possibly be the next Vinyl_Wubs
Truth be told, I become suspicious of sex stories in which the dialogue isn't awkward. This came off well.
It's good, great clop. However, take care with hoovee/hands use. I was confused if it was a antro/antro, antro/pony or pony/pony Fic.
Started out really well, but then it went far too fast.
If you feel "forced" to write clop, don't do it.
And watch for the hooves/hands like intervir said.
7/10
2nd person writing screams "I just re-formated a text roleplay" and called it a story.
For recomendations, perhaps more storyline first. Instead of starting in the middle and then backtracking to explain, start the beginning of a story at the beginning.
Fucking Hell!!! A little damp spot? That perverted little bitch!