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Princess Celestia accidentally sends Luna back to the moon. She doesn’t want to wait another thousand years for her sister to return so she requests help from the space agency to help retrieve Luna before she gets irritated.
If only Luna would be a bit more cooperative with the rescue team.
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FAKE AND GAY!!!!!!!!!!!
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All jokes aside this is a pretty good story.
Ha, not even Luna could have argued with so elaborate a philosophical argument as that.
A nice quick read. Could stand for some proofreading for grammar and Luna's usage of second person speech, but otherwise quite good.
You know, Luna uses the Royal We. She doesn't speak in Shakespearean English. And you need to get a better understanding of speaking that way because Luna's lines come across as gibberish. And how does this accidental banishment thing work? Didn't banishment require the Elements of Harmony? If she was just teleported there by accident, she could have surely just teleported herself back. Or Tia could have teleported there and brought her back. Can't upvote this one, but it's not bad enough to downvote either.
Official Review
6/10 Well written, but could use help with some grammatical and spelling errors. (who am i to talk... i can barely spell! haha) also some character development and description from the point of Luna would be helpful as right now i feel little connection to either princess.
4/5 for family friendliness. there is literally no objectionable content, and i found it quite funny!
Comment: This was great! keep up the good work! Do a little rewriting, and you will have a golden ticket here for sure!
5656457 Thanks for the review! I really appreciate it!
5656451 Thanks for the advice! I'll keep that in mind next time.
I liked this.
Not too bad, but...
Translation: "What does you think your is doing?!" That's gibberish. The correct early modern English phrase is more like "what doth thou think thou art doing", but I don't much like the phrasing. Perhaps "ye are doing" instead. Anyway, if you're writing early speech Luna, you've got to research (read some Shakespeare!) and not just guess.
Luna controls the stars so she should be the one to raise the suns on those planets (kind of makes her a super celestia).
This is a wonderful and brilliant story.
400 meters above the lunar surface:
"We have visual on the moon."
... Great optics there.
5660591 What do you mean by that? Because I can see the moon from Earth.
5660978
5661020 Oh, okay. It wasn't really meant to be special, I just made the astronauts do a step by step report to mission control. Anyway, thank you for your comment!
Cute story. I enjoyed it.
Location: 400 metres above lunar surface
“We have a visual on the moon. There’s no visual on Princess Luna just yet."
Ah, space ponies. Not the most observant lot to finally declare they have visual on an astronomical body that shows up in the sky every night when they're only 400 meters away from it.
Must be the class that graduated from Kerman Space Academy.
And THAT'S how you convince a near godlike being of alien life.
Nice twist. Didn't exactly get why she didn't want to go back besides "You put me here, I want nothing more to do with you so scram" but it was still enjoyable.
5662263 I'm glad you enjoyed the read!
5665280 Happy that you liked the ending!
I was thinking that Luna didn't want to go back for the cause of being mad at her sister and not feeling like following the orders of astronauts who were sent there by Celestia. Anger can make people (or in this case, ponies) choose weird decisions.
5659712 Thanks! That means a lot!
5657858 You have a point. I just guessed a bit with Luna's dialogue because I honestly thought that the modern English version would sound weird. But I should really try it out before giving my opinion.
5656451 I agree with the fact that I need to have a better understanding about how Luna should speak. I will get too that in future stories though.
The reason why I didn't make Luna teleport from the moon back to Earth is because, in my headcanon, I don't think that Alicorns can teleport that far despite how powerful they are.
Oh, and, about the spell needing the Elements of Harmony, I find it possible to have Luna sent back to the moon without the Elements of Harmony since Celestia could be more powerful now then she was a thousand years ago. But there are a number of possibilities to how this could happen. She could have a magic surge or something like that. This is more or less something that you leave to your imagination to find out. :3
5656894 I'm glad you liked it!
5657867 I don't think Luna controls ALL the stars. That seem a bit too much to be honest.
5657213 Thank you kindly!
5656381 Thanks!
5665435 This story was funny! you get a like and watch! :D
5665426 well then wouldn't she notice that some stars move without her.
5665625 Thanks! I really appreciate it!
5665752 I can tell you really like luna too! :D
5665751 With normal sight, I don't think she can see that far. And if she could, I think she would miss the fact that there is probably other life out there moving the stars.
5665829 Yes indeedly!
5665879 Awesome! New Lunar Republic
5665848 yeah but she's placing the star where they should be she'd have to notice if they've moved.
5666265 There's no reason why Luna needs to know the position of other stars in order to move the moon. And I think Luna moving the moon doesn't give her super vision. There is no way that Luna can know, just by seeing, if a star 4.3 light years away is moving or not. That's just too far away.
Then why isn't Luna's head exploding, or at least hurting a LOT?
5670260 I would think it's because she's an alicorn and pretty much immune at space exposure and decompression.
As a Princess Luna fan, I enjoyed this. I give it....3/5 Mustaches
Last sentence: MIND BLOWN!!!
seriously you are an amazing writer!!!
5703687 Thank you! That means a lot!
5704376 Your welcome!
Well done, Float. Well done.
That last line was very clever.
Nice logic there at the end xD
5656347... ah, there goes the magic of fimfiction users once again. Downvoting without even reading the whole comment. Not as bad as the time I got 32 downvotes because I mentioned having the first comment.
..,And then Luna declares that the SCLA's new mission is to prepare for interstellar warfare!!!
Hey Nixworld. Hopefully our remember me from earlier. I liked this story. I don't think it is so much a comedy as it is a happy one. There were parts which made me smile but no real laugh out loud sections apart from the ending (nice logic BTW). That, in my opinion, made it a little more enjoyable. It was cute.
So well done, it was a good story.
Keep up the good work.
5858081 Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!
5860306 no, thank you. As I said before, a good story deserve praise
LOL THIS CRACKS ME UP! You should make more of these to inspire us to be funnier, not even Ezn knows how to make these plays!
5935425 Glad you liked it!
Thanks! That means a lot! I love writing comedy fics, so I'll be doing way more!