The Great and Powerful Trixie is the most powerful unicorn in all of Equestria and she is not happy about it. She wants answers and she's going to get them from THE pony's mouth, Princess Celestia's.
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Trixie art by misteraibo
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Very interesting story. Made me laugh several times. It could do with some brushing up; among a few other things, there's some tense inconsistency in places. However, not bad enough to seriously detract from the story told.
It's a bit rushed. Particularly the way Trixie hits upon her spell right away comes out of nowhere. Of course, Twilight had the same kind of inspiration, but you could have built up to it a little more.
I like the idea that Celestia and Luna are willing to discuss the matter with Trixie so personally. The show often make a point of Celestia wanting to be personable (and Luna wants to get along with her subjects) but stories often ignore this. Add to the fact that they are, as mentioned, informed of who Trixie is, I reckon Celestia's first thought seeing her was "Well, this should be good..."
Trixie's story felt a bit whitewashed, but that may well have been intentional. It was also kind of unemotional; given that she was recounting one of the most harrowing periods of her life, there could have been much more to it, unless you meant for her to be intentionally reserved about it. I loved the bit about her having done some actual heroism, just not enough to brag about, in her mind at least. (Also, Carries. Hah! Care Bears are horrible. Brainwashing freaks, all of them. I may have to add that to my worldbuilding headcanon, if you don't mind.)
Good job so far, and not bad for your first story. Now I'm curious about what will happen next.
5802053 Thank you for your comments. I'll have to pay more attention to my tenses.
Trixie's spell did not quite come out of nowhere. I did mention that she was working on 3 spells at the start of the story. Unfortunately it seems that wasn't enough. You will get an explanation in the next chapter.
As for whitewashing Trixie's story. I've seen plenty of stories that treat Trixie as a third rate magician who is not as good as she thinks she is. I have no problem with that. I wanted to make it clear that this Trixie is a potential rival to Twilight but has a tendency to rest on her laurels.
Twilight has been shown that she worked hard to be what she is; always studying, always practicing. Trixie knows that she is great and doesn't push herself as hard. Unless given the right motivation. That is how I see her.
Feel free to use Carries in your headcanon.
The next chapter should be out in a day or two. I'm having alittle trouble with the end so I can't be more specific.
Okay, I find it sad you actually stopped. I kinda would have loved to read an entire story focussed on Alicorn Trixie. There is so far only one story that has one. And that's Scolar's Mate And that story has yet to be finished or let Trixie interact with the Main Six. (With the exception of Twilight.)
You have a very interesting and humorous way of portraying the characters in this story. And I really hope you will write a sequel and that it's longer then this one. I kinda want to see how Trixie will deal with the place and the ponies whom life there where she isn't very liked. (With the exception of Snip And Snails.) Also whom is going to give Trixie fly lessons? If it's RD I can already see the disaster happening. I mean they both have such ego's that they will clash and doubt RD will have the same patient she has with Trixie as she has with her friend Twilight. She would be more harsher to Trixie then Twilight.
I would have favourite this story, but too be honest it's actually too short and feels unfinished. I actually would suggest make it longer, write about what happens in those 2 weeks all the way to the coronation itself. And end it with the ceremony. In other words don't write a sequel but lengthen this story with more chapters.
Also your title. "Rise to the bottom?" It doesn't make sense. "Rise from the bottom." Would have made far more sense as a title for how the story is so far.
Btw for a 1st story you have written here, I find it actually quiet good.
And I realize something.... you might have April fooled me.
Quite good, and an interesting development. No real writing errors to speak of this time that I could spot. I'd have written a few things differently, but everyone's got their own style.
I agree with 5806961 that there's potential for more story from this point. Trixie's just gotten started on this new stage of her life, and there's so very much more she can do from here on out. This story feels very much like a start, or even a prologue, to a greater story.
That said, I'm not going to put undue pressure on you to continue anything you're not ready to continue - that way lies burnout. Still, consider the possibility of taking it up later, because I'm certain you could. Or write whatever else strikes your fancy. You're the writer.
5806961
Intriguing, I'll have to think about this.
In part why I used it. More eye-catching. To explain: Trixie went from the most powerful unicorn to the weakest alicorn. In short, she rose to the bottom of the alicorn list.
5807622
Interesting though not sure if it's cannon wise correct. Let me explain in the brief moments of the show we actually have seen every Alicorn in action. And yes thanks to the Alicorn Amulet we even have seen Trixie how strong she is as an Alicorn if she ever would be one. Thanks to that we know the limit of what Trixie was able too. She wasn't able to cast duplication, chance a pony gender, etc. But was she able to do? Create a forcefield, Age Spell, Chance the entire season, Take control over someone body, Conjure objects out of thing air such as pies and feathers. Okay now that's settled. Let's see what we know about the strenghts of each Alicorn.
Well Twilight we have seen the most. Though as Alicorn we have actually seen very little. The potion to see the past, Flutter Bat/ chance your appetite spell, Breeze Transformation and the fight against the Tazzleworm are the ones that I can recall seeing her using magic as an Alicorn. Though off Screen we also know she has transformed gold into dirt alongside with Luna and Cadance. The fight against Tirek doesn't count because that was Twilight with the power of all the four princesses. Nor does the Harmony power count because that's an outside force.
The transformation spells are the most impressive ones. Though we have seen Twilight cast those spells even as a Unicorn. Remember the Orange birds and Frogs? Still the Breezy Spell is truly an epic one and we know from Magic Duel that even with the Alicorn Amulet Trixie wasn't able to chance ponies much. She was only able to fuse two colts horns, remove Pinkie's mouth and let one RD wing grow really big. A full transformation into another species is a really high level spell and thus we can safely assume that Twilight is stronger then Trixie as an Alicorn. At least in terms of raw power in magic. If it comes to skill then sadly I have to give that one to Trixie. How many times has Twilight bogged up a spell? Even as Alicorn she still unintentionally causes trouble with a spell she had cast. As was seen in the episode Bats!. Trixie never once has cast a spell without bogging it up. Not even in the comics. Every spell she has done did only what it intended to do without any side effect.
Next is Cadance, well what are her epic achievements when using magic? She fought a Tazzleworm by firing magic beams at it, created a massive barrier to protect the Crystal Empire from King Sombra and last with the power of love she blasted an entire changeling invasion away. The later we must remove because it was the combined love between Shining Armor and Cadance and not on her own. Love as is shown in the show is way stronger then the sum of it's parts. So that leaves only the Barrier and the Tazzleworm battle. The 1st one is impressive considering she had hold up that barrier for a very long time before even Twilight and her friends reached the Crystal Empire. However if you look carefully in Magic Duel you realize that sometime has passed between Twilight defeat and her rematch. So that means that Trixie has put on her barrier also some very long time. And Trixie didn't show any sleep depravity that means she was able to sleep and still kept her barrier on going. Then again she didn't had constantly a hostile force trying to penetrate it. But still no sign of fatigue tells us that Trixie is stronger in magic terms then Cadance.
In the Tazzleworm fight we see Candance and Twilight working together to defeat it. They were equally matched though there was a moment where you saw clearly whom of the Alicorns was stronger. There was moment Cadance got captured by the worm but it took Twilight only one energy blast to free Cadance while when the opposite happened it took Cadance several energy blasts to free Twilight. It's clear that in magic terms Twilight is stronger then Cadance.
Last that put the final nail to the coffin how weak Cadance really is for an Alicorn, is Chrysalis. It was clear that Cadance had been overpowered by the Chanceling queen. And since all her drones were outside the forcefield I must conclude that Chrysalis did it all by herself and let me recall you that it Chrysalis wasn't empowered by Shining Armor love when she did that. So unempowered Changeling Queen defeated Cadance. Now you might say but she also defeated Celestia let me recall you that in the show it was clearly shown that Chrysalis was surprised as well that she succeeded and how stronger she had become because of Shining Armor love for Cadance, as was shown in her facial expression and the lines she said. This means that before Celestia and her confrontation, Chrysalis thought she was stronger then Cadance but not Celestia.
Princes Luna and Celestia is very tricky to determine whom is stronger. If we purely look at the show then I have to say that it's Luna. If you look at the battle scene between Nightmare Moon and Celestia it was clearly shown that she was more dominant in the fight until Celestia brought forth the elements of harmony. And let's not forget that she also must have overpowered Celestia in the pilot episode of season 1. Then again the argument could be that Celestia never put up much of a fight against Luna because she was her sister. In the fight scene you clearly see Celestia trying to flee from Luna rather then confront her. But is this because she simple can't put herself up to fight her own sister or is it because Celestia knows Luna is stronger then her? Then there is the point that some claim Luna was stronger because she was Nightmare moon. But not once in the show it has been said or revealed that the corruption made her stronger. So that's only speculation.
Unless you bring in the comics. Though the show is officially the cannon the comics can be seen as Semi Cannon. What I mean to say is as long as the show doesn't contradict what is inside the comics (happened once considering the author of the Daring Do books.) then what is in the comics is cannon. So the show cannon always prevails over the comic cannon.
But back to the comics. If we use that as source material we get a clearer picture whom is stronger. And that's Celestia, Luna has trouble raising up Celestia sun and there is also a comic with Celestia and Spike where Celestia reveals she actually holds back her true strength so that others can grow and prosper. Further more I also may dare to say that Twilight might even be stronger then Celestia if we consider the comics as cannon. She after all defeated Chrysalis when she was fully empowered by the comet and Twilight was still a Unicorn then. So bringing forth all this data. I think we can create the following list from strongest to weakest Alicorns in raw magical power.
Only the show.
1. Luna
2. Celestia
3. Twilight
4 Trixie
5 Cadance
Inclusion of the comics.
1. Twilight
2. Celestia
3. Luna
4. Trixie
5. Cadance
(Though note we could in theory place Trixie higher on the ranking list if we include skill. And Twilight will of course get way lower perhaps even below Trixie. The Alicorn Amulet to my knowledge only enhanced the the bearer power not their knowledge and skills. In other words Trixie knew all those spells she cast in magic duel. But I guess that if she cast for example the age spell without the amulet she would exhaust so much of her magic that she wouldn't be able to cast any other spell and be drained out of magic for the rest of the day. In otherwords Trixie may not be the most powerfull in terms of raw magic but like she said in Boast Buster, Twilight could never compete to the skill Trixie has.)
5809347 You certainly put a lot of thought into this.
My thought was simply that as a newborn alicorn (so to speak) she'll start at the bottom. But I fully expected her to, after a few months, to surpass Candance. Once she got used to being an alicorn and after all the training she'll go through in order to show that she is superior to Twilight. Though, I think, that milestone will take longer to reach than Trixie expects.
5810628
Actually that could work, Trixie getting used to her new Alicorn powers. However remember that she already experienced wielding such powers thanks to the Alicorn Amulet. So leaking a bit of benefit from that experience you could use.
Btw. I highly recommend for you to read The Unchosen one, and its unfinished sequel Scholar's Mate written by MagnetBolt. You can draw a lot of inspiration in those stories for this one if you wish to continue it.
“And I, have a country to run.” She started to leave.
Hm. First mention in the paragraph, it took me a moment to place the pronoun owner.
Otherwise, I like it! Interesting idea. A little quick, but promising. As others have said, let's see where you go from here.
Not a bad story.
The shared mana pool could be use in some other stories.
Do you always speak in outdated langauges?
Will there be a sequel? Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.
5989328 I have never considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily. I get my MLP fanfiction here and here is where I intend to post. I like Equestria Daily, I just don't consider it a source of fanfiction.
I had considered a sequel. An off the wall comedy called My Little Alicorns. But I set it aside when the request came in to expand this story. Unfortunately, I have only scenes not a story.
I have just published the story 'I'm Your Biggest Fan.' I have also a few in the works: Princess Celestia Must Die, Family Values and Mare Do Well vs Batmare.
Just don't expect them soon. I am a very slow writer. Though I am hoping to get faster with experience.
This chapter was fun of laughs. However, Carries (Care Bears)? Really? I'm a bit older and I remember the original Care Bears from the 80's and 90's. They weren't bad at all.
6028906 True, they weren't that bad. But I wanted to replace Ursas with something else, preferably something bear like. I wanted Trixie to replace one bear opponent to another, more impressive, bear opponent. Care Bears were ideal.
They look harmless. But with a dark twist, they become something that the princesses would freak over.
In my headcanon they pretend to become friends with their prey. Creating a mystical bond. At the right moment, when they have created as many friends as they could. They would use those bonds to suck dry their prey. Something I imagine would offend Princess Celestia immensely.
Plus the princesses freaking over harmless looking Care Bears is comedy gold.
For getting rid of Care Bears Trixie automatically deserves alicornhood
I have to say, this strikes me as a far more solid reasoning than just creating a new spell. After all, Starswirl is mentioned by Twilight in Luna Eclipsed as being the creator of HUNDREDS of spells, while Twilght gets alicornhood just by finishing a spell that was started by Starswirl. Of course, Celestia probably had some Alicorn juju going on in the background at the time as well.
I absolutely ADORE the way Trixie is portrayed here. You deserve a fave from me.
Interesting take... a few errors a spellchecker wouldn't catch, no big deal. I do wonder why they kept it a secret.. perhaps they recognize that, for instance, Film and Flam have a very close bond, but the world would not be better for them gaining that status...
I do wonder if Trixie's alcornification will be temporary, or her wings undersized or some such so she can be Twilight's rival in unicorn magic, but not her equal?
Alicorn of Friendly Rivalry?
Unexpected place to end the story...
7132202
I wrote the story as if it was the pilot episode of a spin-off series called My Little Alicorn. I told the story of Trixie's new status quo, becoming a full fledged alicorn, that I wanted to tell and ended it off as if there would be more episodes. "Leave the reader thinking," was the writing motto that I was following in this case.
As for the secrecy, it was simply because Celestia wanted to deal with the subject without any distractions caused by, "What? There's a new alicorn?" would cause.
-----
What? It's been over a year since I posted this story? I better get off my lazy rear end and finish the story I'm currently writing.
7133780
I meant why is Celestia keeping the universe's requirement for of alicornification a secret?
]...there is an off-site fic I should link but... I'm feeling lazy so I will just say it used to be on this site,(EDIT:The Great Alicorn Hunt I don't recommend most people talk to the author, but it is excellent overall. It influences my thinking on this subject.7133866
Ah. Other than her own secretive nature, I would guess that she wouldn't want just anypony to become an alicorn. Twilight had the potential and Celestia clearly does approve of her, so...
Oh man, I was tracking The Great Alicorn Hunt. I think this is the first I heard it no longer being available here. Bummer. Luckily I found an alternate location and there are new chapter I haven't read. Thanks for the heads up.
7137342
My favorite scene:
'Plants vs Zombies'+"HOW MANY OF THEM CAN WE MAKE DIE?!"
It really says something when the act that finishes someponies journey to alicornificaton feels so much of a "cooling down" from what came immediately before that.
Anyway, for those unfamiliar with that work, the one of the ideas in it is that denying someone immortality is equivalent to killing them by withholding the cure to a fatal disease.
Haha, this is awesome!
Really an underrated gem.
I loved the voices, each worked very well and was easy to keep track of. The banter was excellent, especially between the sisters. The backstory and the rest were great. The... implications of what Trixie figured out have an interesting Pandora's box potential for a lot of ponies suddenly gaining wings/horns/both.
His was, again, really delightful. Very happy to have read it.
You sure Trixie is Twilight's lover not rival?
Not bad so far. Still some mixed tenses, but very enjoyable.
This was a nice read. I'm kind of amazed how a bottle scene can be this engaging, but all the kudos to the the author for the dialogue. Hell, I enjoyed the most when Trixie was telling a story inside a story about Trixie. Not to mention the narrative tells just what's needed to understand, but it leaves a lot open. I'd love to know more about what happens next, or about Trixie's mail with Twilight, or Luna's shovel speech.
Overall, amazing read, and my only regret is that I didn't catch sooner.
This is bloody fantastic on so many levels. I wish for a sequel. There's a quarantine right now, so no excuses!