• Published 7th Apr 2015
  • 988 Views, 17 Comments

Mulan (Ponified) - Trainer Ponycat



I adapt the Chinese tale and Disney movie of Mulan with Spike as Mulan

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Chapter 1

Spike is an ordinary dragon who works for his boss as the...maid. He lives in Cheng which means orange in Chinese. He doesn't get the respect he deserves there.

One afternoon in China, Spike was sweeping the floors of Twilight's library. He was humming a tune he heard from a concert recently. The artist of the song got arrested soon after he got accused of pick pocketing. Spike looked at the floor. He thought he did a good job sweeping it. He yawned and stretched his arms. He was working all morning. Suddenly Twilight Sparkle, his boss busted the door open.


"Spike!" she shouted and ran inside and shut the doors. She locked them up. Spike was confused. What's going on? Twilight ran up to him.

"I want you to destroy the library, so I can protect myself from joining the army and getting killed," she said frantically and ran upstairs and leaped on her bed and covered herself with the covers. Wait, if Chinese ponies want honor and being in the army is one way to get honor then why didn't Twilight want honor?

"Don't you want to bring honor to your family?" Spike asked. Twilight rolled her eyes.

"First of all, stop breaking the fourth wall it's not funny and second of all my family has enough honor, my brother's the captain of the guard and he's married to a princess for Celestia's sake!"

"Touche," Spike responded ignoring Twilight's fourth wall comment. He then continued sweeping. Twilight peeked out of the covers. She groaned in more annoyance. Spike sighed, Twilight was not just his boss but also his best friend. He doesn't have any real friends in Cheng except for maybe like Twilight's friends: Pinkie Pie, Applejack and of course like mentioned before Twilight herself. And all the dragons where he came from were jerks too. Even his parents. So he ran away to Cheng because he heard the ponies there were much nicer than dragons. Well he did make some friends but the rest of Cheng treats him like an unequal, he had such a hard time finding a job in Cheng, luckily he found Twilight who didn't care if he was a dragon or not.

Twilight then peeked under the covers and widen her eyes.

"Spike, are you listening? Do you want us to get killed?" Twilight asked. Spike then face palmed himself. She just said to destroy the tree and he just swept the whole floor. Now how does he do that? And what was Twilight's plan?

"Um Twilight, I don't get it? What are you thinking?" he asked. Spike considered Twilight as a really smart pony. So she must of had a really smart plan to go with this. Well maybe Twilight's just smart and Spike's just dumb compared to her. He just knows three ponies all together not counting the ponies who aren't his friend. Whatever, Twilight's still smart.

"Well Spike, once you- we destroy the tree house library, the ponies who'll take me to the what training grounds will just think of the library as old and abandoned which will make them pass by my house and we'll be safe for the rest of the war," she said. Spike's jaw dropped. That was literally the dumbest plan he ever heard Twilight come up with. He heard worse. He lived with dragons for most of his life. He raised up his finger.

"Can I say something?" he asked.

"Of course you can, Spike," she chimed. Spike took a deep breath. Although he might get fired for saying this, he really needed to say it for Twilight's own good. He really cared for her a lot.

"Look, Twilight that plan of yours has many flaws in it," he said quickly. Twilight seemed to understand him. She started to have tears in her eyes. Oh no, he made her cry!

"I know!" she yelled and covered her face with her pillow.

"Look Twi, I'm sorry for-"

"No, it's not that Spike," Twilight interrupted as she uncovered herself and sat down. "I-I just can't be in the army, it won't take all the honor in China to make me join the army!"

This all made Spike think. Honor means respect right? All Spike wants is respect so that's what he's going to do! Join the army, it all makes sense. Spike supposes he qualifies. But he had to make sure.

"Let's try thinking up a way around this, what did they tell you?" Spike asked

"They told us about how the army needed more soldiers and the reward money. They said one resident from each residence has to join or the whole family goes to prison and one individual is forced to go," Twilight explained and raised her eyebrow.

Wait so that meant Spike...qualified? He can join the army! Hopefully the Chinese Army will win and Spike will come home, will all the honor he wanted.

"Twilight, I'm joining the army!" he announced. He smiled proudly. It was now Twilight's turn for her jaw to drop.

"Spike are you crazy? We're trying to find a way around this not giving into this and besides they only have three captains: earth ponies, pegusi, and unicorns not dragons!" Twilight shouted.

Spike didn't listen, he wanted honor and he was going to get it. He sensed Twilight had a feeling he wasn't listening.

"Spike, I'm serious I don't want you to get hurt and you think ponies treat you bad here? Imagine the army!"

Spike's pupils looked away as he thought some more. He didn't think about how the ponies in the army would treat him. They would treat him bad yes but will he get treated extra bad because he's a dragon? Yet then again, he'll only be in the army for a few months or a year. He'll live in Cheng for maybe the rest of his long life.

"Look, Twilight if I participate in the war, then maybe I'll get some respect around here. I'm willing to take that chance," Spike responded. He knew that wouldn't convince her. He then found another reason why he wanted to be in the army. He didn't want Twilight to suffer.

Author's Note:

:moustache: Well, this story took a lot of developing. I had to think of so many roles and Spike's problem like he was treated differently because he's a guy and then I realized it made no sense and changed it because he was a dragon. Also I had to change many roles that I'll explain later when I get to them and I'm thinking of some sub-plots but I might cut them out. Most of the sub-plots are romance :rainbowkiss: because I can never resist romance. I was going to make Twilight a total...jerk to Spike but I realized that wasn't the Twilight we know and love. :twilightsmile: So I was going to replace her with Trixie but then I cut out the idea because I wanted Twilight in this. :trixieshiftright:

Okay at the end, Spike was a bit off but I was rushing the end so I could reach the number limit. That's a bad excuse. Just tell me how to improve please?: ajsmug:

Comments ( 17 )

this feels really rushed.

Well, this a rushed. If you want to make it longer and less rushed, try describing the scenery, and maybe the characters. Maybe add more than one scene into a chapter. Just a suggestion :twilightsmile:

I'm writing my own ponified version of Mulan, and was horrified to see someone beat me to the punch! Having read it though, it seems entirely different from the direction I'm heading with mine.

5834648 Don't worry. I think you're totally safe.

Lyi
Lyi #5 · Apr 7th, 2015 · · ·

Perhaps you should get an editor...you need an editor.

If you were struggling to reach the word caount , maybe you should have written two chapters before submitting. Is Spike going to disguise himself as a pony? Because the deceit was a pretty big plot element of "Mulan."

5834648

Hope you will post one of yours soon. I'm personally really want it to be a real mare!

Just from the title, I can see that there is no effort put in this story. You are just rehashing the plot of Mulan, changing only some words. And from what I'm reading in the comments, you are using even less words.

5834648 you're not the only one planning on it.

5834995 Definitely an editor. And a copy of the script. And some practice with characterization. Both characters are entirely off, and the whole chapter was jumpy and hard to read.

I know you all want this.

I love for you to add more into the first chapter and beyond.

Build the world around them and the characters. I can see this becoming a great story.

Just take your time

5849412
That awkward moment when your cathy song is interrupted by mass genocide.

When are you going to update?

9946518
WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO UPDATE YOUR STORY!? I WANT TO SEE SPIKE GO THROUGH BOOT CAMP!

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