Well I really messed up big time. My name is kage hikari. Shadow light to those of equestria. To be honest I prefer the latter. I'm not much of a star wars fan. Frankly the only things that get my interest from that series is the droids and light sabers not the force abilities. What really gets my gears grinding in hate is how the story is placed. Anyway I just got the blade builders kit along side a neutral repaint of the inquisitor light saber then happen to buy from a odd merchant a custom clone trooper armor that honestly looked epic and next thing I know I'm in equestria with a highly customisable light saber and overtime became known as a hero. Then came nightmare moon who has a crush on me! Next thing I know I'm stoned by celestia to save me and when I am freed via carbonate deactivation I find Luna is still in love with me. Ever since my life has gotten hectic. If I ever find my cousins geo and senya I would be so relieved. But for now I'm just going to take things one step at a time. Also the ponies are anthros. Like I said hectic. Read on because my tale is odd to say the least.
(Story now up for adoption)
You have an issue with capitalization. There are grammatical errors here and there.
Review:
Title:
Description:
First I would like to point out your spelling. Names should always be capitalized, and specific places should always be capitalized. You should also include some commas.
Statement:
I can already tell this story will have a lot of errors. Would you like me to edit this story? ~ Silver Spoon
6006139 I would appreciate that very much. My last editor went off the grid so I'm trying to find a new one to help. Just send the revised chapters through the pm until I can figure out how to let you edit the actual chapters. And like I said I forgot the full process of building a light saber for this story.
6006297 You could send me the story through email on Google Docs.
6006574 I don't know your gmail. Send it to me in a pm and I can see about it. I'll tell you my gmail in the pm so you can send it back.
This story,i like it.More
Honestly, I like the idea, but there's just one problem, the story is moving a little too fast, and you should get someone to help you edit this, I would help, but I see that you already have someone (but if you ever need a second opinion, I'll be happy to help!). I see potential in this story, try to pace yourself and I hope to see more of this!
Pace the story and edit it.
its okay so far, needs editing and the pace is a little fast but the plot does has potential just slow down a little and make sure to edit
ok pretty good no scrach that this is good story keep up on it know
whoa
I feel like it's to rushed
6089703 that's just it I'm working off limited knowledge of star wars. I'm not a fan of the series just the light saber and droids. Of course it would feel rushed, in all actuality I'm going to put this story up for adoption. I set the basis for someone to continue where I left off and maybe expand on it. So pm me if your going to continue this because as far as this one is concerned it's cancelled. I'm out of info as I can't find the exact process to build a light saber and more experts on star wars is needed for this.
do more chapters
10443092
Read the comment above yours plus its been stopped for over a good near decade now.
ten years or not I have been waiting for an update I'm not going too give up yet and so are you wont too
10638725
actually, it's because as much as I love playing the old republic I just don't know this fandom as well as my sister who is a major fan. that's why I put a neutral force up for adoption and at this point set up the basics with what I already got. it's mainly because I started this story not long after I started writing primarily solely digitally. and I was still learning the ins and outs of writing stories. the lesson I learned from this one was that if you want to write a story know the setting and have a good understanding of it. and this was back when I was 15 years old. I turn 26 next month I can readily admit I'm not a fan of Star Wars as much as my twin sister is and that impacted this particular story. I was hoping someone more aware of the star wars franchise would adopt this story and give it better justice than I have and ever could because I know my faults with this. if you compare this story to a glitch in Equestria you will see a vast difference between the two. I definitely know and understand five nights at Freddy's better than Star wars so the lesson I learned from attempting this story was definitely learned.
10639817
well I have read all the chapters in glitch in equestria so I'm just waiting for the next chapter too come out
10639864
and as I need to remind people I haven't actually played the games so I'm going to have to look up videos for at least plush baby's part of the dark rooms and the rest of the game, when it came to what I got so far for that story because with it being completely original from that point on its going to take a lot, longer just to get the details right and get things staying on track when it comes to the interactions of the characters. do you know how hard it is to write most of the girls? especially pinkie? The only ones I'm able to reliably write are sunset, twilight, and Fluttershy the others I have either a swing and a miss when it comes to keeping to their character. I got the first three arcs done so fast because the nights are pretty repetitive and not need as much detail but now that I'm passed fnaf 3 for that story I'm going to need the time to work out a lot more detail in comparison. fnaf three was always the point at which I knew the story would majorly slow down at because while the first three segments of help wanted are similar the rest of the game isn't so I have to make sure things have the same shift and thus will take more time to get down. a glitch in Equestria is right now at the point updates will slow down compared to when I released multiple chapters in the span of two to three days. I don't want to burn myself out stressing over the story which is why I don't set up an updated schedule at all. it's so I can work at my own pace and not stress out. when I get particularly inspired I end up doing the fast updates for chapters because I know the lore of the original game so well the rest not so much. I now have to balance the fnaf series and mlp bit a lot more and take my time with it. as far as a glitch in Equestria is concerned by the time I'm done with help wanted a week later in the story is when rainbow rocks startup for mlp so I have to keep in mind just how close I'm going to handle that with the additions of vanny and Marie to that event. and twilight reacting to Marie practically sharing headspace with sunset. I will admit I'm going to enjoy freaking the dazzling out with Marie possessing sunset at least. well, who knows with sonata and her reaction compared to adagio and aria.
10639906
lol I know but don't push yourself too much k