22 - EVERY DAY COUNTS
CHAPTER TWENTY TWO
EVERY DAY COUNTS
“I-I don’t understand.” Razorwing touched the blue stone around his neck. “Element of Laughter? I don’t deserve this.”
Twilight smiled gently. “Do you make your friends laugh?”
“He makes me laugh,” Spritemare said.
Twilight nodded. “Then you deserve it.”
“Loyalty…” Spritemare said, stroking her own necklace. “I don’t feel very loyal.”
“You were the first to ask us for help,” said Razorwing, “and didn’t hesitate to fly all the way from Manehattan to help me with Falcon. That’s loyalty to me.”
Spritemare took off her mask and smiled at him.
“And you, big guy?” Razorwing asked, turning to Harness. “What’d you get, the Element of Beefiness?”
“Kindness,” said Twilight.
Razorwing snorted. “Psshh. Figures.”
“I am honored,” said Harness, bowing his head.
“So I got Generosity?” asked Facetfire. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
“Sometimes we must earn what we are given,” said Twilight. “My friends and I often strayed from the Elements we bore, but that only made the lessons we learned more meaningful in the end.”
“You kept Magic, I see,” said Razorwing, staring at Twilight’s crown. “Which leaves….”
All eyes turned to Apple Bloom, sporting an orange gem.
“Honesty,” she said flatly. “Must run in the family.”
“You told a difficult truth today, Apple Bloom,” said Twilight. “Without it, I may never have realized the error of my ways. You deserve that Element most of all. Thank you.”
Apple Bloom blinked away tears. “So what now? You’re good again, just like that?”
“I have much to learn,” said Twilight, “and much to sort out. Many of us have blood on our hooves.” She glanced painfully at Synapse’s body in the center of the throne room. “And there are many lives to honor. At the very least, you have reminded me of who I am and what Equestria needs. Perhaps you would even be generous enough to help me further.”
“Is that aimed at me?” Facetfire asked. “Or is it more of a group question?”
“Equestria needs to heal,” Harness said. “Having a strong leader will help, but it won’t go back to the way it was overnight.”
“It will never be exactly as it was,” Twilight said sadly.
“But we’re here,” said Spritemare. “And now we’re on the same page. You’ll help us make Equestria well again, Princess?”
Twilight looked to Apple Bloom. “Will Mare Do Well?” she asked in return.
Apple Bloom felt like she was going to vomit. Pinkie’s blue eyes wouldn’t leave her mind. She couldn’t look at anypony. “I’ll… I’ll try,” she said, unable to stop more tears from falling.
Twilight nodded, her expression solemn. “So will I. Even after all of you have gone, I will remember what you’ve done for me today.” She looked longingly at the throne. “My life is newly dedicated. I will prepare the world for the return of the Princesses.”
“Whoa. For a thousand years?” asked Razorwing.
“A little less than that, now.” Twilight sighed. “Every day counts.”
Apple Bloom nodded at that. She wiped her tears away and stood a little taller. “Let’s start with somethin’ simple, then. Mending fences, I guess you’d call it.”
Twilight winced. “Oh no. Is Applejack outside?”
Apple Bloom shook her head. “No. We’ll both have to get to that eventually. For now, you’ve got a surprise waitin’ for ya outside. A very big surprise.”
Twilight’s magic carefully lifted Synapse from the floor and laid him over Harness’ back. The Elements of Harmony left the throne room side by side in hopeful silence, ready—or nearly ready—for all of the changes their futures yet held.
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...Well, these two chapters was definitely something of a mind-blown resolution. For avoiding spoilers, I won't say much about them, but it was a very interesting route you took. It actually make a lot of sense, if you think about it and how Apple Bloom felt when Pinkie Pie came into the subject of focus. A lot of things have been revealed and resolved, and I gotta say, it is sad to see this story end. But, I can also say that I loved this story to pieces and it has been a fun ride,
Great job with this, and good luck with any future works.
I HAVE TO KNOW!! WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!??!!!?!!?!!??!!!
Welp, time to read this story I guess
Well, that final confrontation both met and subverted my expectations. As did the big backstory secret that's teased me all through this story.
Very well done, Ponky.
That was a good one
I liked the ending, but it seemed a little too cut and dry to me. Maybe it was just the pacing, but it felt a lot like Starlight's instant reformation.
8050899 Well.
If anypony would qualify for such a thing, I think it would have to be Twilight, generally speaking.
8050899 Same, this felt... sorta like an anticlimatic let-down. I too felt like it reminded me of the Starlight "welp, I'm good now" moment at the season finale.
On the other hand, I suppose you could argue that at least it stays true to the show with 5 minute resolution.
I had a sense of how this was going to end, and while this wasn't exactly what I had in mind, it's what I wanted.
Excellent work, Ponky. It took a while, sure, but what a journey, eh? Look at the crowd you brought together. Folks like me who've been here from the start, and who knows how many new readers along the way, people who found it while you were out and stuck around to see how it would all end.
That's pretty special, in my book.
8055622
You know what's extra funny? That's exactly why I named him Falcon, but I totally forgot that until now. Thanks for reminding me of just how Batman this story is, and for all your great comments!
It's been fun, Ponky. Mantle's isn't quite the story I expected it to be back when I first started reading it, but then again, I can hardly remember what I expected all those years ago.
So... this is how it all ends? Had you planned on all this from the beginning? It sped up a bit after your return but it got a worthy (albeit maybe a bit short) ending. I'll have to read it all from start to end at some point before I can judge it properly though.
Hope you're having a great time Ky.
You can has review!
8106142
Sorry I didn't respond to this for so long, ryttyr. I finished this story largely due to your desire and influence, and I'm sorry if it was disappointing.
Back in 2012, I was a very new writer influenced by the likes of early SS&E and aspiring to be like Saddlesoap Opera or determamfidd. I wanted to write something epic, stirring, long, and meaningful. Mantles, in its full scope, was a very different story back then.
I planned on writing very long arcs for each superhero, starting with Mare Do Well. I wanted Spritemare, Harness, and Facetfire to have their own separate arcs before coming together in Ponyville to fight the zebra warlock and eventually storming Twilight's castle.
After writing The Sisters Doo, I realized that fanfiction doesn't work well when it focuses too much on original characters, with some brilliant exceptions. It made more sense to stay focused on Apple Bloom throughout the story, and I shortened it/sped it up dramatically so that I didn't burn myself out.
In the end, this story still accomplishes everything I originally wanted it to be. I think some of the characters are fun and would have liked to explore them deeper, but a lot changes in five years and I'm not who or where I was in 2012.
Thank you for your early compliments on this story, ryttyr, and for sticking it out to the end. I hope you laughed or learned something.
8383406
yes. All thing considered I think your decision was the right one in the end. Even though it meant that the pacing of the story got a bit askew it was probably wise to keep focus mostly on Mare Do Well / Apple Bloom to keep it all together and I can understand that your drive for finishing this story have diminished over the last five years so I think it could have hurt both the story and you if you dragged it out more. It's a good story, just not what I expected it to be. Not sure if I have said this before or not but it was kinda like going to the cinema expecting to see a Batman movie and when you walk out you have watched The Avengers. It was good, just not what you expected. And despite all that I'm glad (and a bit humbled) that you finished the story for me.
Ya know, looking back at the story, it's bizarre. You got a bunch of gangs mucking things up in Canterlot while the government seems pretty spooky what with all violent crackdowns and whatnot. Then you got Mr. Hypnotist over in Manehattan, the mad scientist in Trottingham, and a Zebra invasion in Ponyville? There's a lot there, and in looking at like that, it seems almost... haphazardly thrown together?
But you know what? It worked. I had a great time reading it all, moving from one part to the next. It turned out to be a lot of fun. And while I wish there was more, especially in terms of its resolution, I think it managed to wrap itself up rather nicely.
I do wonder how the large time gap in writing affected things, though. What were the original plans from 2012 Ponky and so on. It's obvious you've added new canon to the picture. I mean, Magical Mystery Cure hadn't even happened yet. Maybe I just missed it somewhere, but a retrospective of that sort would be fascinating.
Anywho, this was great. Glad you finally finished it.
8425682
Thanks for reading, Csquared! It's good to see your name in my notifications.
Mantles is a pale shade of the epic I once wanted it to be, but like I said to ryttyr a few comments down, I am not now who I once was. I'm still happy with the result, and thrilled that you enjoyed it. Thanks so much for reading!
I'm glad I finally got around to reading this. I really enjoy Mare Do Well stories, and while most aren't all that great, this story really stands out. I think it's amazing that the author was able to construct a story like this, where all the pieces fit and there's no real fat or filler in the story. One event leads to another, everything is connected in someway or another, and the chapters all stand alone by themselves. I think that was the most enjoyable part of reading this, seeing how every chapter had pretty much a three act structure, while contributing to a larger, overarching story.
The way you write Apple Bloom is great. On paper, I'd assume that as soon as the other heroes show up, things would get campy or weird, but everything happens very organically, and at no point does this start to feel like a rip off of something else. Apple Bloom holds everything together, and she's never boring to read.
I have to imagine at some point, ending this story became too much of a lift. The way the story comes to an end is a lot like the end of an old rollercoster. It's pretty jarring, a little predictable, and almost a little sloppy, if I'm going to be honest.
Ending aside, I'm still glad I read this story. I loved the original characters, and I think that's the biggest accomplishment here. You see a story with OCs and I feel like that's often thought of as a negative, or something to hold against the story. Your OCs feel fleshed out, like they could have come right out of the show, and that says a lot about the talent of the author.
While I wish the ending had been different, I still want to say thank you for taking the time and effort it took to write this story to a conclusion. It's one of the best Mare Do Well stories I've read.
I am honestly tempted to downvote, that ending was rushed and completely unsatisfying. :/ But, I had it previously upvoted, and I did enjoy it quite a lot, and I'm lazy.
I just wanted something more.
This story has been in my queue for a while. I bumped it up last week due to a personal recommendation. I'm into chapter 5 and it's fantastic so far. Thanks for writing!
This story was great. I think it does through a couple of things too quickly, but if the worst I can say is that I wanted more, then my thumb and more is truly deserved. Bravo!
Damn long time since I first read this. I'm not sure I ever moved past the 2012 chapters until now, because nothing after the first MDW fight rings a bell. Glad to finally see it through to the end after all this time, and check another story off my long-ignored update list. Sadly, I do have to echo a lot of the criticisms of PaulAsaran's review. After all the build-up, I was expecting a better justification for the setting and Twilight's character turnaround, and I must admit, the faster pace in the newer chapters did kind of bother me. It didn't give a lot of time for major revelations and events to sink in, and that was kind of a disappointment after how the early story did such a great job of slowly developing and setting up everything before the big pay-off.
That said, this story had Zesty Gourmand as a secret mob boss running a pony trafficking ring who gets violently murdered, and that by itself is so utterly hilarious to me that I can forgive every other fault in this story and then some. 10/10.
So... ALL of this could have been avoided with a simple conversation?
Some praise for the story:
-The action was enjoyable. Unlike many action stories, I could tell what was going on most of the time.
-Apple Bloom becoming and acting as MDW was written consistently and logically.
-The OCs felt like properly written characters, with goals, abilities, and personality traits that I understand and were consistently written.
I'm going to have to parrot a lot of the other comments here and say the latter parts of the story felt rushed (especially the ending). It would have benefited from an epilogue, seeing as a lot of things seem to be unfinished (Spike's reunion with Twilight, Sweetie Belle being caught on camera helping MDW, Twilight's public image, how the vigilantes are viewed/celebrated).