Button and Spike stumble across a certain somepony, the mare catching their hearts. Who will win in this battle for love?
Chapters (2)
- Member Since 30th Apr, 2015
- offline last seen Jan 29th, 2021
PhoenixBlaz3
When life gives you lemons, extract the citric acid from the lemon juice and sell it as teeth whitener. Might as well make a quick quid when you're gonna die anytime soon.
PhoenixBlaz3
Joined 30th Apr, 2015 ·
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...Why did they refer to their crushes as 'them'? If I had a crush, I'd refer to them by name.
Also, why are Spike and Button hanging out anyway? As far as I know, they don't know eachother.
It feels like this was supposed to be a fic you were going to take seriously, but it devolved into a crack-fic really quickly...Plus I don't think Applebloom made a single appearance, I don't know if you meant another pony or you intended to have Spike get with Applebloom or something, but if this is the only chapter, you may want to change that...Plus you may want to change it to complete.
However, the spelling and grammar were good and I like the premise of Luna playing with her subjects as if it was a video game! That concept could make a story on it's own! You could have her play with Cadence if you want shippings too since I don't see Luna as the romantic type (not just because I can't think of a pairing for her in A Day in Ponyville
)
I'll give this a like, but I'm still waiting on an update on Button's Love:The Start! That one's starting to get to the fun parts!
6294160 Thanks for the feedback! Don't worry, I have a plan for Button's Love: The Start, I'm just to lazy to start writing another chapter. By the way, I may or may not write another chapter (which is why it's on incomplete). The reason that Spike and Button referred to their crush as 'them' is because I mainly wrote this story to troll the reader, which is probably why 11 people have disliked the story XD. Finally, I just read this story where Button and Spike are friends and I thought I could write a small story about it. If you want, I can edit the first chapter to add more information about how Spike and Button became friends? Thanks for adding the story to your favourites!
6294211 It's fine...But again, Applebloom had no part in this, so having her as a listed character made no sense. You might have gotten a dislike for that alone because it misleads the reader. I was certainly excited because, you know, AB is my favourite pony.
Also, I'd like an explanation, yeah. Honestly though, my main problem was that it seemed rushed. And, in my opinion, that should never be the case when reading a story because it makes it seem like the writer doesn't care. And if the writer doesn't care, why should the audience care? It's a bit of a peeve of mine...
...But I can tell that you do care since, you know, you're offering to go back and change something to have it make more sense. That is what I admire in a fellow writer, so I salute you for that!
I honestly don't know how you'd be able to continue it unless part 2 is just a cut scene to a few months later or something.
Keep on writing good sir! (If you write Spikebloom in the future I will definatly read and favourite, there isn't enough Spikebloom here!)
I... What?
I can't tell if this was one of the better trollfics out there, or if it was just really that bad. Because of a lack of info, I'll give it a 2/10- Nuts 'n Bolts Electric Boogaloo
6294299 Thanks again for the feedback! I'll be sure to change it in a bit! Yes, I will write another chapter. It seems rushed because I was kind of rushing it when I was writing near the bit where Twilight was trying to reason with Button, and I had kind of ran out of ideas and inspiration but knew how I was gonna end it.
6295389 I wrote this as a trollfic :D.
6296515 well then the rating is flipped:
8/10- Nuts 'n Bolts Electric Boogaloo
6296679 Thanks!
Well, the Applebloom tag is now warrented! Huzzah!
A couple of the parts were a little uncomfortable and was Applebloom just hanging around in the castle, or did she meet him outside or something? Honestly that part kind of confused me. She's not usually seen in town without Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo or her sister.
But still, hooray for future Spikebloom...
...Oh and ButtonBelle is adorable as well
6317547 Never mind, she was in the castle! But what was she doing there? Did Twilight have to go out for coffee and left her in charge of the concept of friendship for a while? It wouldn't surprise me if she did because Twilight is simultaneously the smartest and the dumbest Pony ever!
6317551 I like to think it was because she heard about the whole "Rarity rejecting Spike" and she went over to the Castle to comfort Spike.
I'm sorry, but that was weird. This was at first a Trollfic, but now is it trying to be serious? Make up yer mind.
5/10- Indesicive on the Author's part
6318162 ...Then she must of heard about it in record speed! It had just happened to Spike, Applebloom would have to have been inside the Carousel Boutique and have beaten Spike to the Castle as well! Maybe MLP got it wrong, maybe lil' AB is the fastest pony there is!
6319179 I'm trying to make this fanfic confusing.
6321254
6321254
As much as you are, all that is doing is ticking people off. Even with trollfics, you have to choose. Ask RainbowBob, King of Trollfics, for more info.
6321257 Ok, thnx for the advice.
I understand it was a troll but I just don't like it sorry bro but please update your other one because its good
6477724 Yeah, I will. I started the next chapter!
6477960
Memes I Think that I have found:
Absolutely Nothing cos i dont like skim reading and already forgot what happened..... wait....... oh yeah spike fought button mash and then some ponies show up and twlilight faked her death.... i think, correct me if im wrong!
I looked it up and well.... spike isnt a colt... hes a wyrmling i think.....
Why.
Why does this story have so many downvotes.
Everything is hilarious.
7240931 Thanks!
To much action not enough bad puns