- Member Since 25th Nov, 2013
- offline last seen 7 hours ago
THEJamiboi
I write in my spare time, as a hobby and I would appriciate some feedback on any stories I write here on fimfiction.
THEJamiboi
Joined 25th Nov, 2013 ·
Offline
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Absolutely lovely! I liked the rope heart being used as her "calling card".
6256509 Hehe, I thought her character would have one.
Great as usual
6258705 Thank you kindly good sir. :)
looks like Sound had alot of fun^^ it also sounds like he will have even more in the future^^ hehehe^^
Sixteen times? O.o
Also minor grammar mistakes here and there but it wasnt too bad.
Really liked the story though, oh yeah, nice refrence in the end
6281449 Thanks, I plan to use Sound and Spira again, Sound might just become my go to hypno puppet! >:)
6280811 Always gotta plan for a sequel, even if you don't write one, it gets more people. :3
6281952 oh i see so he is really gonna be a hypnosis puppet, hehe.
Well im excited to see what kind of stories you are churn out with Sound.
Stay hypnotic my friend.
6282293 I will. :3
6281955 lol^^ what an evil plot^^
6284930 Is that a pun? XD
6285605 a unintentional one^^
6292072 XD
Saw the thumbnail and thought the blue unicorn was "the master."
6720588 Everyone always thinks its the male they gets surprised by the dominant female. :P
6721137
What's that supposed to mean?
6723090 Everyone seems to assume the male would be the master, but I like to use females as the masters, cause it's sexier and not as common. :)
6723233
No I'm talking about the Doctor Who character The Master.
Saw on a fan website a blue unicorn with a yellow mane was what The Master would look like as a pony.
6723280 Really? Huh I guess he kinda does, but no, this stallion is Sound Box, not the master. XD I doubt that psycho would be tricked so easily. :3
Can't say I enjoyed it. The description sounded a good deal more nicer than what became "she learns to abuse her powers" in the end. Yeah, she didn't really change Sound's life for the worse, but she nonetheless enslaved his mind to her will in a colossal abuse of trust. The romance tag does not belong here.
I don’t know about you, but I’m enjoying this veeeerry much~
6780846
Or you could fix it by adding dark/mindrape tag.
Suggesting a rebuttal here, I’m pretty sure that romance doesn’t have to be moral, even when mind manipulation is involved
8217727
6780846
Removed the romance tag, thanks for the tips.
It's BED and breakfast, there u go.
8910023
Fixed, that was a strange spelling mistake XD
8910070
Oh, hey, now that u r here (I wasn't sure if u were still in college or not), will u join my group: Luna And Nightmare And Hypnosis And Vore! ? I know that it's NSFW, and that u like NSFW stories, but I'm gonna change it, 'cuz I'm 2 young bla bla bla, and my parents might c bla bla bla...
So, will u b joining? It's entirely ur wish, but as of now, I'm the only one in this freaking group.
8912179
Maybe u should try proofreading? It really helps.
Also, no offense, but...ur grammar can b kinda...bad sometimes. Sorry.
PS: This is coming from someone younger than u. I'm in 7th grade LOL
8912181
I know, I'm not great at grammar but I think I've improved in the 3 years since this went up :3
8912640
Just say 'yes' or 'no'. I won't care. Everyone has their own Freedom and Rights and bla bla bla...I won't mind, as long as u say 'yes' or 'no', now HURRY UP, LADY!
heh heh lol
Dude, can u reply 2 my earlier comment? Will u join my group?
8914437
You should check the group members XD You'll find your answer there.
Not sure how, what is effectively a magical mind control spell, would count as hypnosis.
9914262
technique