In Twilight Sparkle's final moments, her friends gather around her bedside, sharing and remembering the time they spent together as friends till the end.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 6th Jan, 2012
- offline last seen April 4th
Fluttrick
Life is short and so are my stories. Enjoy!
Fluttrick
Joined 6th Jan, 2012 ·
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oh my god! i shed manly tears all over again....*sniffle*....great story....absolutely wonderful, and extremely sad...loved it
one thing that made this even worse to hold back tears was the "Listen to This"....that made me cry even more!
That was beautiful
Although Applejacks name doesn't have a space in between. Just saying, but very good work. The music was a nice touch.
670983 Sorry about that, it's just a habit of mine. This is my first one-shot fiction and I specialize in sad.
NOOOOOO!!!!!!
Nice touch using My most precious treasure to symbolize Twilight's friendship with the other members of the Mane 6.
The music was a nice touch. I didn't cry, but it was touching. Brilliantly done.
I'm just going to say this...
I can never cry again.
> Reads comments saying everyone cried
> Decides to read story
> Starts commenting about how ridiculous this story is without flinching
Either we got some sissies over here or I'm seriously missing something because this is not sad at all. It's basically Twilight's dying, says some things, dies, then a funeral is held. That's it. Nothing fancy, sad, unique about it. Sure, the details are very lacking, but even if those were added in, I still wouldn't have flinched nor do I believe this could have been salvaged. Bottom line, this is not sad and I fail to see why others think so. I'd love for someone to explain that to me.
However, I will say your grammar and structure was done very nicely unlike some other fan fictions I've read. Characters were all in line too from what I've read.
Personally, I think you could've done a much better job. This was rather disappointing to read. Sorry.
This was ehhhh. Okay. I don't feel that that's how each of them would react, seemed a little off. And there's no explanation for how she died. Age wasn't indicated, nor injury, nor sickness. Has a lack of explanation. Also seemed a bit rushed.
loltwilightdied>sadtime>partytime
With little transition.
2.5/5
Good story, just needs more info.
Hey guys, I'm making a prequel to this for those of you who want an explanation for Twilight's untimely death and other stuff like that.
Great, now I need to buy a new laptop because you made me cry all over mine. thanks for that.
Whilst the idea is promising, although not original, this story was painful to read. I mean that in the sense of the quality being poor:
- Some grammar mistakes, e.g. Applejack being Apple Jack
- Ponies acting out of character
- Lack of detail
- Horrible cliches
- Abruptness of events
I did see it was a mere 1,747 words so my expectations weren't high. However, I must say I did not like this and was disappointed.
671308 Don't worry, explanations and such are on the way with the prequel, so before anyone complains again about the lack of explanation let me finish typing the prequel.
I'd be very interested in a prequel.
A short, sweet and sad story.
Thou it was quite enjoyable!
671531 Yay!
Thanks for the encouragement. I was waiting for somepony to reply to that guy, cause I thought if I replied it would make me not accepting of reader's opinions and what author would that make me.
Ohgod.
First time through I didn't cry.
I didn't think it was all that sad. It was more like touching I guess.
Then I scrolled up and saw the "listen to THIS" I clicked it. My reaction?
Me: OH. HELL. NO.
I have seen Angel Beats-- I love it. But it is helluva sad.
And that song. Well, it just made the story 10x sadder.
~Rosalynn~
images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110619164140/gyropedia/images/d/df/MLP_tolerate_and_love-(n1298853924898)-(n1301128566283)-(n1305752004146).png
In my opinion I thought it was pretty well written
Although I didn't cry, I did enjoy reading it.
671640
LOL xD 
edit: also group sad has 2 more people than group dark
Okay, almost done with the prequel, almost there for all the haters, or critiques.
671550
It's kind of ironic because it's usually not replying that shows you don't care about the reader's opinions. I'm not trying to be a nob here, just trying to show where your flaws were and what you need to work on. Yes, I admit I feel I can cause intimidation, but don't mind it. Always feel free to reply to a constructive comment when you can!
671726 Okay then, I feel your opinion was very true and that it was clumsy of me to think that readers would just pass of the important details as a side thing and that it isn't my best work/
671722
I do apologize. I just find this other user here being very... obnoxious to put it lightly.
I'll be sure to read your prequel, but try not to rush it.
And I'll try not to... be so blunt this time.
671741
Ah, but details are EVERYTHING about a story. Well, 99% of the time anyways! Always try to expand and explain the situation in a way so that the reader can understand and think about the situation. Once you do that, you're on your way to becoming a better writer.
671746 Not to be on one side or another side between both users I just want to have an agreement between the both of you so we don't have a fight.671647
671754
That should be more directed at DerpyFan as he tried to call me a soulless being for finding this one fan fiction not sad.
sorry guys, gotta go, my mom's making me leave. Bye for now!
This was kind of sad, a tad bit rushed, and I thought I saw Shinning Armor appear in the character tags when he dosen't even appear in the story.
I can't wait for the prequel though.
671738 well i am not 11 but i agree that was uncalled for but i am half asleep and am not thinking straight and hating haters makes you worse than the haters so have scootaloo
671789 Yah about shining armor, he's in prequel, just not major major part
671813
When I'm half asleep, I don't go around making rude and unnecessary insults towards people who have a different opinion about one fan fiction.
671830 Uh o.k., I still don't know why he appears in the tags for this fic though, unless the prequel will be another chapter as opposed to another fic.
671889 Actually, it will be another chapter. Sorry for disappointment if any,
671865 yeah its just the way things seem to work for me i dont know why but well ill delete those comments earlier and please accept my apology
this usually happens for me and when i get up in the morning and read what i had been saying i just
and remove the comments
671902>>671865 Yay! Resolution! Oh sh** still gotta do spanish homework! be right back
Once the funeral starts, play the song "The Sound of Silence" ....It add's to the effect and makes it even more saddening
Something very popular and well written using my art for it's cover? Well, don't I feel special.
672651
> Popular
> Only 191 views
> Not very popular
I was thinking more in comments and ratings. Gotta stay positive!
672651 Sorry, I'll make sure you get credit you deserve.
this is very well written it got me thinking and i was tearing a bit
Oh...
That wasn't really what I meant, but okay! Thanks!
Important Announcement!
Well, turns out I'm making the prequel another fiction, not another chapter, so in the case you didn't already know that, this is for you.
I may not have actually cried but I did tear up even if just a bit, but for the hell of it have Doctor who and Rarity
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676413 Thanks man, thanks
676422 No problem!