Rainbow Rocks (partial) Rewrite

by MalekPony

Twilight's Departure, the Friendship Lesson, and Shine Like Rainbows

The next day, Twilight Sparkle, Sunset Shimmer, and the Rainbooms gathered in front of the statue where the portal lies.

"Sure wish you could stay longer." Applejack said.

Twilight Sparkle then responds with, "Me too. But I have responsibilities in Equestria that I have to get back to. Its citizens need me. But now I can go through the portal whenever I need to. This isn't goodbye. It's just goodbye 'til next time. Ready?"

"Ready!", Spike confirms. Both Twilight and Spike walk into the portal exiting the human world and back into Equestria.

---

Using her journal, Sunset Shimmer writes:

Dear Princess Twilight,

Missing you already, and I hope you'll be back soon. Things are definitely looking up for me here at Canterlot High, but I know I still have a lot to learn about friendship. Hope you don't mind if I write to you for advice when I need it.

Anyways, the Battle of the Bands turned out to be a complete success! We all have learned a lot from the Battle of the Bands. First, we couldn't believe that the Rainbooms were constantly bickering with each other, and it almost ruined the Battle of the Bands for us. That's because they've been letting little things get to their head from the very moment the band was formed. They learned the hard way that if you don't work out even the smallest problems right at the start, not only will your friendships fall apart, but the Magic of Friendship can be turned into something dark and ugly. One more thing; I also noticed that the Rainbooms were worried that everybody's gonna hate them (even their own sisters) because of what they did, However, I dismissed those fears by telling them that the thoughts they were having will not have an impact on their future. As a matter of fact, our futures have become brighter and better now that we have stopped the Dazzlings, .

Another lesson we learned is that both of us still have a lot to learn. You've also learned that it was foolish of you to think that you should have all the answers. What you do have are good friends who will always be there to help you find them.

Finally, a third lesson we learned is that friends forgive each other. At first, you got mad at the Rainbooms because of their bad behaviors yesterday and you even refused to forgive them because of it. However, you then let go of your grudge as you realized that if you forgive them, they forgive you because that's what friends do.

Your friend,

Sunset Shimmer.

Rainbow then asks Sunset, "You ready or what?"

"Ready!", says Sunset as she takes her place on stage with her guitar ready.

Pinkie Pie then counts out, "One! Two! Three! Four!"

---

The song being sung is Shine Like Rainbows

[Applejack]
Once upon a time
You came into my world and made the stars align

[Rarity]
Now I can see the signs
You pick me up when I get down so I can shine

[The Rainbooms]
Shine like rainbows
Shine like rainbows
Shine like rainbows
Shine like rainbows

[Rainbow Dash]
Friends, you are in my life
And you can count on me to be there by your side

[Sunset Shimmer]
And when the music comes alive
We sing our songs to lift us up so we can shine

[The Rainbooms]
And the sound that we hear in our hearts
Makes a crescendo
And the light that ignites in the dark
It makes us all glow

And shine like rainbows
We shine like rainbows
Shine like rainbows
We shine like rainbows

Together we stand
As the rain begins to fall
And holdin' our heads up high
As the sun shines through it all

[The cast]
And the sound that we hear in our hearts
Makes a crescendo
And the light that ignites in the dark
It makes us all glow

And shine like rainbows
We shine like rainbows
Shine like rainbows
We shine like rainbows

[The Rainbooms]
We shine like rainbows.

Comments

[Dark Colt Sabata]

Alternate ending my keychain. Sorry man, but you still have a lot of work ahead of you. I advice to keep trying.

[MitBoy]

6617025
Yeah. I read it briefly, but It seems like It doesn't add anything to the story.
I especially "like" how Dazzlings just stays here doing NOTHING.

[MalekPony]

6617025 You're right! Maybe I should make some edits.

[RNBW]

6625310
Let's be honest here. Rainbow Dash was starting a band. Her friends, at the beggining, are not necessarily involved. They are supportive and go along with her to get her guitar fixed or replaced. Later, Rainbow is looking for a drummer for her band, and it eventually dawns on her to ask Pinkie. Rarity, Fluttershy, and Applejack join not long after. If you're wondering, this comes from the movie shorts.

Rainbow Dash was calling it her band because it was her band. She was the leader of it. It was something she wanted to do, with or without her friends. The fact that they all got on board is cool of them, but it was still her idea and her goal. Nothing bad happened there.

However, AJ was starting sh*t by trying to change that. While Rainbow came across as a little bit abrasive, AJ was the primary source of conflict within the M6.

What are your thoughts?

[MalekPony]

6625376 What about Rarity? Had she gone off the deep end with her costume obsession?

[RNBW]

6625503
Not much. While I dislike Rarity, AJ was also starting sh*t with her because of that. You pointed out in your story that if AJ should have controlled her temper, nobody would squabble all the time.

[MalekPony]

7280510 Oh... my... I thought adding Rainbow, Rarity, and Applejack's bad futures that involve the three Rainbooms members getting disowned by their family members (especially their sisters Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo aka the Crusaders). Based on your comment I saw just now, I guess I might have taken it too far. Same with Twilight yelling at everybody. I guess I just hated the Rainbooms arguing and I needed to vent my frustrations out with this accusation fic. Yes, I do sincerely apologize for being too harsh on the Rainbooms.

[Wilddog88]

It is good but since Twilight was still new to princesshood she would be focused on helping her friends when the problem is right in front of her. Twilight can be quite blind sometime. But when she gets pressured she can shine.

[Lonely Fanboy48]

There are so many problems with this. If your going to make a partial rewrite then you need to think better on what's going on. The Argument scene in Rainbow Rocks was a set up and not to be taking too far. Now to be honest, I really want the rainbooms to say sorry because of them missing the point of the situation there in and Applejack should know better to not start fights. But you took it too far you really missed a lot of points in the movie. Here's the problems with this Rewrite

1. The arguments and the ending.

This really isn't a problem since this is a partial Rewrite but to me I still cringe that you really have no changes what so ever with the beginning and end to this, and no adding more lines doesn't change anything even with the more lessons you put in the last chapter. Look I get what your doing but Chapter 1 is just like watching the movie and before you say anything about people make Fanfics that they also took ideas from movies and change them a little, people like me don't like rewrites.

2. This between the augment from the movie

Like I said I really think that people saying sorry should at least fix my problem with this and I did like you have them say sorry. But the main reason why it didn't work is when you made Princess Twilight out of character in this. Twilight never been this so in rage at all (But that time when she got mad a Pinkie Pie but that's a different story) She been serious sometimes but not like this and there's one thing you need to understand, SHE'S THE PRINCESS OF FRIENDSHIP! She would never say I wish I had never made any friends at all because that makes her the opposite of her character. That would of work for someone other then Twilight because they can be fully different. And the main problem why this got more dislikes is because of Twilight's ranting. Those where highly personal and makes her so terrible. And having Spike and Vinyl into this makes this worse. Bad Futures or not this really a drag. And speaking of Bad Futures...

3. The Bad Future Sequences

You continue with this makes your Fanfic more worse then you think. For one thing it's just arguments. It's not like Rainbow Dash is bullying people, or Applejack Lies and gets away with everything, or Rarity bringing a cruel, heartless, and a Spoiled Teen (Secretly) who screams a lot. The sequences are just ridiculous because of how Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Rarity are treated. Showboating is one thing but she is still nice even after everything. 2 worlds from MLP and EG have minor changes when it comes to characters. I found Dashes sequence kind of sad but at the same time not giving any chances for Rainbow. Scootaloo maybe be a die hard fan but for one time and not many times is just forced. As for Applejacks, she may be too harsh but they where trying to make her serious like in the last movie and she tries to help. The Bad Future Sequence of her is too much and her being homeless makes me feel sad for her because she really doesn't have anything for her to do. Her starting the arguments is (again) one thing but her being remove from the Apple Family makes her Past all for nothing. And then there's Rarity, Now her being off tracked about the Band is (I'm always a broken record) one thing again but She's never made this band any worse. And her future (in my opinion) is the worst of them all. Not only her sister and her family rejected her badly, But her greatest hobbie being destroyed is worst then what I feel for Applejack. Sure I found her Saying "I WISH I'D NEVER AGREED TO BE IN IT!!!!" was Grading and very cringe worthing for her saying that with no apologies (One of the only scenes I found in Rainbow Rocks that I Hate) But she's doing what Everyone is doing in the finals (At least for what I know) she never been this mean to this band and really want to do what she loves doing to make the band better. My point is that She may be one of the reasons of this Band falling apart but she's the least worst in this. And the end of her Bad Future is just sick. I'm sorry but it's true! Her losing everything she loves was overboard and the way she feels miserable make's me think she's going to hang herself to commit suicide. Yes I want there! I know what I said was also sick but this is what I think when someone like Rarity is going to do with her future. Her losing everything makes her life not worth living anymore.

4. Chapter 3

This Chapter makes your 2nd Chapter completely worthless and unneeded. Twilight taking back everything she said may be heartwarming but nothing special. It's just like the scene in the movie but done better. It would of been better if it didn't make you rewrite this. And besides its just like what were seeing in the movie with nothing new at all but way too cruel.

5. The 2 new lessons you added

Yes I know you hate the Rainbooms arguing but these 2 lessons are completely worthless and not what Friendship is magic is all about. EG is trying to be it's own thing and trying to be good on it's own. Princess Twilight making a fool out of herself about doing everything by herself is so Backwards to her character. Like Imagine her Bad Future because she would never be princess or have a huge castle. She knows better then this and that's why she became Princess in the first place. And the second lesson, You saying there futures are still the same in the movie because of you putting the lyrics of Shine Like Rainbows and again, making your 2nd Chapter pointless.

Now I get your a good person and this is your 1st Fanfic but what you write is so bad that everybody think your crazy. Sure I respect your opinions but what your did was very personal. My advice is you should think better before you write something, or never write something like this in general.

[MalekPony]

8156794 Welp, I guess you're right; this story is nothing more than a Rainbow Rocks Rage-Fic. I guess I really did let my spiteful anger and hatred towards the Rainbooms cloud up my judgment after all; please excuse my language but I have to admit that I was rather peeved with the way the Rainbooms were being argumentative towards each other, so I wrote this fanfic to vent out my frustrations. Now I realize that I went overboard and I am sorry for the way I treated the Rainbooms in this story when I had failed to control my emotions.

[Lonely Fanboy48]

8156972 Yeah just make sure next time you have a problem with this, kelp it clam and go with it. I'm taking it easy on you since this is your 1st Fanfic.

[MalekPony]

8156982 Well, it looks like you taught me a valuable lesson in which I need to keep calm and have a cool head if I have a problem with the Rainbooms arguing. What I've also learned is that I shouldn't take my anger out on others (the Rainbooms in this case) as it can only make things worse.

[Lonely Fanboy48]

8157030 Yeah, maybe in the future you can make a Rewrite that can be better then this.

[Lonely Fanboy48]

I know this is kind of personal but on my Youtube Channel I'm going to do Fanfic reviews and I wanted to review your's. I'm not trying to make you feel bad, in fact you learn your lesson about this. But the reason why I wanted to review this fanfic is because I'm going to also make a rant about the Argument since its one of the scenes from RR I didn't like and I should really explain on why it should of improve and what you should improve on this rewrite. I'll tell you when the video is upload because you should watch it to learn more about it.

[MalekPony]

AN APOLOGY MESSAGE TO EVERYONE ON FIMFICTION

I wanted to write this fanfic because I was rather angry at the Rainbooms for the way they were treating each other; as a matter of fact, I was becoming just as bad as a prissy and pompous Canterlot snob. This may sound evil but when I published this story here, I felt satisfied that I gave the Rainbooms the punishments that I *thought* they deserved at first; as time went on, however, I started to feel some remorse towards the Rainbooms and thought to myself "My God, What Have I Done?". It's a good thing that I did make the Rainbooms apologize for their arguing here, but I also gave them severe punishments that they didn't deserve and I had also messed up Twilight's characterization (the latter two can be contributed to my anger). I deeply apologize and I am profusely sorry for the way I'd treated the Rainbooms; I was being unappreciative of their arguing and was unable to control my anger towards them at the time I wrote and published this.

[LyraAlluse]

I'd be interested to see other stories, written in alternate type realities to the show. I think you might have something with the concept of doing a reimagining of something. This story is rough around the edges but I think you could take the concept of alternate timelines and stuff and maybe do some cool world building of your own.

[wertyui]

I took the bad futures segment to be slightly more realistic and more positive if they actually said it to them now

The sequence begins with Rainbow Dash walking into her home, with rainbows serving as borders for the house.

"Hey, squirt!" Rainbow Dash said as she opened the door to see Scootaloo.

"Hi, Rainbow. What's on your mind?", asked the gamboge girl with a cerise hair color

"You will not be happy when I tell you this, but I will tell you," Rainbow Dash said before clearing her throat so she can tell Scootaloo her story about how she formed the Rainbooms, and how her ego had caused the Rainbooms to argue with each other and fall apart the way they did. and about their eventual reunion, Scootaloo gasped not at this story but at her role model's guilt. how could her role model do such a thing like that? and still, be so hung up about it? Needless to say, she wasn't happy about what the rainbow-haired girl had done. but happy for how she rectified it.

"scoots, I am so sorry for how things turned out, you're probably disappointed in me, maybe even more than I am with myself. I mean you look up to me. you idolize me. I'm your role model! I'm supposed to set a good example for you, but noooo! I just had to betray my friends by hogging the spotlight with my massive ego, especially with that awful song I made up to stroke my ego tenfold! Well, guess what? I probably hurt you too! Why would I do this to you? I understand if you never forgive me for what I've done! hell, I wouldn't be surprised if you punched me square in the face for it. I regret ever doing that just like how you probably regret choosing me as your role model! just move on without me, you'll find someone better I don't even deserve to be considered anything other than a burden to you! Not after what I did!”

After her rant is finished, rainbow dash leans against the wall and bawls to herself. suddenly she feels a hand on her shoulder, she wipes the tears from her eyes and sees her adoptive sister

"dash, you wanna know why you're my role model, it's more than just the attitude or the way your talk, or that cool hair, although I must say, those are great add-ons. it's because of your element, from what I hear, your ego WAS outta control, but your heart was still there, and you apologized not only to them but to me, a girl who had nothing to do with the events but you still took the time to apologize anyway, even though you did absolutely nothing to me, except inspire me to be better than the best. I'm never gonna stop idolizing you, I'm a ride-or-die kinda girl, who doesn't abandon people so easily, just like you!"

she pulls her big sister in for a hug, then rainbow returns the favor, forgiving herself in the process

Walking toward her barn home, Applejack said, "Hey, sis, hey bro, and hey granny!" as Apple Bloom, Big Macintosh, and Granny Smith come into view. apple bloom was the first to welcome applejack "howdy sis, congratulations on the band victory! despite the complications, but why do y look so glum "

"well, sugar cube" applejack said, it's like this

"so yes, I am ashamed of mahself, ah was the one t start an argument with the Rainbooms."I could stand here and give y' excuses till yer ear went n fell off but it'd do no good, By startin' an argument with the Rainbooms, I have brought shame to my own family!" gosh ah feel like the 'rotten apple'of this family! I must look lahke nothin' but a disgrace to yall now! and as fer you applebloom, ah suppose ahm no sister of yers no more, I could say sorry a hundred times over,
but ah guess sorry ain't cuttin' it this time. so I might as well pack mah things n leave. Good-bye and God bless yall, you won't hafta deal wit this sorry excuse of a family member anymore!"

"well frist off" granny smith said "we already heard"

Applejack pondered, "Wait a minute, how did you know?"

Apple Bloom said, "Twilight told us about your actions and we all knew that what ya did was wrong.

granny smith then said "but do you really think that of yerself for somethin as simple as an argument, think you might be a bit "put upon"

"your grannys right" big mac added, "you may have done wrong back at that rehearsal, but whatever problems ya did have were resolved, and if yah really wanna make up to it...

After this, the graced farmgirl walks to her barn to clean the clutter from its attic.

The sequence begins in her humble abode where her parents and sister reside.

"Hello, Sweetie," Rarity happily said to her sister who is standing nearby.

"Hey, sis! What's going on?", replied Sweetie Belle.

"Well, I need to tell you something. It's concerning the Rainbooms," Rarity said. "Now let me warn you that what I am about to tell you is not going be pretty. However, you must listen to every word I say in the story. Is that clear?," cautioned Rarity. Sweetie Belle gives a nod of approval. With that, Rarity told her sister the whole story about how she got into quite a few arguments with the Rainbooms. She even went on to say that she was arguing with Applejack over her costume obsession, and how her costume obsession led to her friendships coming to an end. and how they made up afterward. Nevertheless, Sweetie Belle seemed to be quite shocked about this once Rarity ends her story. "Well, Sweetie? What did you think? Pretty shocking, huh?"

Sweetie Belle snapped out of her shocked state to say, “Yes, I was pretty shocked to hear what you told me, and what I just heard from you made me quite sad. but I was happy to hear of your reconciliation. but when you said shocking I was expecting something more along the lines of an armadillo being found in a changing room, just a nitpick. but why do you sound so guilty, you already made up with your friends. in fact I remember you saying "How could I? How could I end my friendships like that? my friendships cannot end! Never! WHAT HAVE I DONE, DARLING? I'VE JUST MESSED UP MY FRIENDSHIPS BETWEEN ME AND THE RAINBOOMS!”, I know your a drama queen sometimes but that's taking it a bit too far" As she said this, rarity became increasingly sad with tears starting to form in her eyes.

"Oh, dear! I guess I've been a little too emotional haven't i. the same reason I got into this mess in the first place I was so obsessed with my desire for the Rainbooms to wear some costumes that I forgot to realize that my vanity had turned me away from the band's main goal of making music that sounds good. Some bandmate I am," Rarity explained, admitting that she had made a big mistake.

"Yeah, you're an excellent bandmate, and the idea sounded great! shouldn't have let it get in the way but that doesn't dismiss the idea entirely but Why would you let your costume desire distract you from the music anyway?"

"Well, you could say that I tend to be the kind of girl who wants to look fabulous whenever she performs in front of an audience." (we know, sweetie belle added) Don't you see? It's the diva in me that cries out for attention. Unfortunately, this put me at odds with Applejack,(we know what it puts you at odds with) who told me that I needed to focus on how good I was supposed to sound with my music instead of giving in to my petty vanity," the fashionista explained, "However, I now realize how wrong I was and I am sorry for what I have done. Please forgive me!", she then apologized and pleaded, with the added bonus of showing her sister a pair of puppy-dog eyes.

Sweetie Belle immediately says "No! because I already forgave you!"

"What? But I am sorr...,"

"look, Rarity, you already made up with your friends I don't understand why you're still beating yourself up over this, in fact. I think this goes way deeper"

"OF COURSE IT DOES!" rarity hollered I was supposed to teach you right from wrong, but it appears that I've taught you nothing at all!! I hate myself after the way I treated my friends and also let you down!!!!",

"Well, rarity? you are still my sister, even after what you did?"

"I DON'T KNOW! I DON'T THINK I DESERVE THAT TITLE ANYMORE IN FACT, I DON'T THINK I DESERVE TO LIVE!!1 (but one thing at a time darling) I SHOULDNT EVEN HAVE A SISTER AFTER WHAT I DID! AS OF THIS MOMENT, MY LIFE IS OVER!! GOODBYE, DEAR, SISTER!!!! I HOPE YOULL FIND SOMEONE BETTER THAN ME SOMEDAY!!!!", rarity shouted before getting on the floor to try to cut herself, sweetie belle frantically grabbed it and put it in a drawer with a key, running to the toilet to flush it down

"OH HELL NO" sweetie belle shouted "You're NOT KILLING YOURSELF ON MY WATCH, I KNEW THIS WENT DEEPER, I WANT ANSWERS!

coldly with tears still in her eyes as Rarity watched her sister cross her arms and turn the other way

Moments later, Rarity said, "Ummmm... Sweetie Belle?". Rarity was nervous, given the fact that Sweetie had found out rarity was in fact trying to kill herself

However, "Hmph!" is all that she could say to her sister as she turns up her nose at Rarity, who had gasped after seeing that.

she pointed her finger

"rarity, don't even try to come up with an excuse, please just tell me why you tried to do this. and if this is about the fight. so help me god I told you I forgive you!

"i-iiiiiiiiii i just feel so damn guilty, before we made up, twilight ranted at us and made us realize just how badly we messed up. I still think about it and it made me realize just how little I've done for you, how little I've done for the world. I can't forgive myself, and I won't after what happened, just what will my parents think:

"alright, before you bring our parents into this, let me tell you that mom and dad are not going to like what you’ve done. but they'll be proud of you for fixing the problem and I'm gonna tell them what happened, just to prove my point" spoke Sweetie Belle to Rarity, who is her sister.

"Oh no! You don't mean...," Rarity gasped in fear.

"rarity, I know you're upset, but perhaps maybe all you need to see is that this isn't such a big issue. it's not like you abandoned her at a wedding like your pony counterpart. so if I tell them about your actions, and they will pretty much understand AND forgive you for it!

"oh no, they won't! they'll be So upset, in fact, that they'll be sure to disown me "

"rarity, you need to stop beating yourself up! so you made a mistake, so did 7 billion people on this planet! as if they're gonna disown you for something a simple as an argument, I'm gonna tell them just to prove it!"

"Oh, dear! I really am in big trouble now. Not to mention the fact that my family is gonna hate me after the way I have behaved." Rarity said to no one in particular.

-

The scene changes to Rarity's clothing shop, Carousel Boutique. sweetie belle suggested that she tell the story to the customers in the shop to get their opinions on if she could be forgiven Rarity then announced to the customers in the shop "Attention, shoppers! I have a story to tell all of you." She confessed to her customers the story of how she got into quite a few arguments with the Rainbooms, leaving everybody in the boutique quite shocked, but understanding

Hoity Toity then said "You got into an argument with your friends, over a silly costume obsession in a musical band? I thought you were better than that!"

This caused Rarity to panic, saying, "No, sir. This isn't what it looks like!"

"But you did make up for your mistake, so I would definitely say you would be forgiven. now, I wanted to place an order for the fall formal, and id like to have a chat about a new line based on your stage costumes" Hoity Toity told Rarity. The other customers agreed and they decided to stay in the store in a huff.

-
"see, rarity, I told you they would forgive you"

"oh thank you thank you thank you, sweetie belle, I don't know what I was thinking!"

The fashionista was overjoyed to know she still had her family (including her sister) AND her boutique, in fact, she had gained a lot of inspiration and creative mojo. Her spirits ran so high she could churn out 20 dresses on a slow day. she also was trusted with knives again after a while.