Seeking shelter from a storm, a pony chances upon a small cave, but finds it already occupied by a gryphon. Despite fear and mistrust, the two of them must share it until morning.
Many, many thanks to Solstice Shimmer for ideas, commentary and feedback. Edited by PoisonClaw, sevenofeleven and Pascoite.
“There are times when a fic so perfectly encompases the meaning of Friendship is Magic that it becomes easy to believe that the writer is a nom de plume of one of the show's writers.”
“A calm, deliberate story of friendship laser-focused on two really strong characters. It's world-building by way of character-building, a tale of common understanding growing where none existed that never even thinks about being preachy.
Highly Recommended”
Chapters (3)
You do know if u wanted this would make a good horror fic plotline
Great story! loved it!
P.S. sequel? (I wanna know how the bake-off ends!)
This is my frist comment on the site and I am makeing it because this story deserves it. I really enjoyed reading this its just really enjoyable and I liked it a lot.
Thank you! For a nervous new writer, that means a lot.
I'm currently working on some improvements based on feedback I've got. They won't fundamentally change the story, just tighten it up slightly.
6999685
I may do something with the same characters in the future, but not a direct continuation. I think the uncertainty is an important part of the story. Being told that things work out well in a story is easy; having the resolve to do them when you don't know is hard.
"Do or do not. There is no try." -- I wonder how many iterations that line of the script went through before they were happy with it?
Some edits have been published.
VERY well written tale!
Approved for Tag-A-Long's Book Club
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7039343 Thank you!
What a lovely pair of characters, symmetrical in ways that make you think. I really enjoyed this story. :)
Reminded me a little the predator-prey issue from Zootopia.
Very nice - compact, good characters, good pace.
...and for some reason she found this oddly alluring.
Brulee face-hooved, "And when was the last time you saw a deer chomping down on a wolf."
Silly uneducated beakies, not knowing what an herbivore is.
That's what money's for!
Money solves everything! *throws money at a giant asteroid about to hit Earth* We'll be fine no-*KABOOM!!!*
Brulee found her breath catching... oh how she wished a big, huge predator had swaggered into her class and fixed its glorious hungry eyes upon- "Ava... would you consider possibly eating me alive while telling me sweet nothings?"
Ava blinked, "All the ponies in this cave are crazy!"
Brulee ermed, "But I'm the only pony in he-"
"MY POINT STANDS!!"
...but she failed. "Mmmmmm... a big handsome griffon hunting me..." Brulee drooled.
Ava tried to slide back even further from the obviously deranged and possibly rabid pony.
It was then that Brulee realized griffons were, in fact, xenomorphs. She then found out Ava had implanted her with a facehugger during the night.
Actually, that's not logic, if I might be semi-serious for a moment. That's actually a highly presumptuous notion which ignores direct evidence of individual differences in temperament, the effects of differing evolutionary pressures upon behavior, the effect of environmental upbringing influencing development, and the significant effects of possessing a sapient mind capable of performing conscious and cognizant thought processes rather than relying entirely upon emotion.
There are a number of bird species which dramatically depart from basic instinctual behaviors when presented with a more optimal set of circumstances. Crows, African Grey parrots, and keas have shown an extraordinary level of adaptability... in the keas' case even to the point of learning predatory behaviors to take advantage of slow, stupid sheep in New Zealand.
Intelligence permits an animal to behave in manners far exceeding an baseline instinctual response. Logic accounts for this in any process of analyzing and forming decisions about a creature's behavioral tendencies.
I am a super-genius and know this instinctually.
7103772
Hey! Stop pornographising my characters. I'm saving that for the sequel.
An enjoyable read. I like the concept and the characters. The predator-prey dynamic is something I think a lot of people overlook. Ponies are, technically, a prey animal, but usually get written as dominant omnivores. (like humans.) Many stories would me greatly improved, I think, by acknowledging the actual position in the food web that ponies would naturally occupy.
I will say the ending left me wanting a bit. This reads more like a prologue than an independent story. As a prologue, though, it would certainly get me reading the rest.
As for the writing itself, You're pretty good at remembering little details, but you do miss* some of the macro stuff.
I think it could do with a good bit more granular detail, as that helps a lot with immersion.
(*Or possibly fail to explain/mention it.)
Overall, I like it. Keep up the good work.
7128794
As depicted in the show, there aren't many natural predators around that ponies need to be afraid of, at least in the civilised areas. Outside of the settled lands, things can get more hairy. We've seen various large and dangerous creatures both in the badlands, and closer to home in the Everfree forest, quite close to Ponyville.
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There's a clear ecological difference between the settled and wild areas of the world, even when they're close together. This suggests that, as part of their prehistory, the ponies successfully exterminated or drove away a lot of the pre-existing megafauna.
This isn't at all unlike humans, who wiped Europe, Asia and the Americas clean of a great many big, dangerous creatures as they spread. And it wasn't even an organised campaign, we did it inadvertently. As climates changed, we adapted faster than they did. But even now, if you were faced with a saber-toothed tiger, and hadn't brought modern weapons and armour with you, you wouldn't be top of the food chain very long. Humans didn't climb all the way to the top of tree; we just chopped the top of the tree down.
I have a future story planned that goes into the history of gryphon-pony relations, and why predation is no longer a thing.
7128933 I didn't mean they are currently being preyed upon. They once were a prey animal and would still have the inbuilt instincts of one. Especially considering the ultra dangerous fauna of the world they inhabit. Humans still exhibit many instinctual behaviors that are entirely unhelpful in modern society.
Human psychology is founded in predation. Not from the top, but pretty close. Ponies would be much farther down the ladder. But at the end of the day, you are writing your world and you should write it your way. Still a good story.
(I hope I don't come across as preachy or argumentative. I'm just trying to clarify what I was getting at.)
Oh, I totally agree. A lot of the herd behaviour we see from ponies - even in the TV show - can be seen in that light. For example, the way Ponyville collectively shunned Zecora is exactly the way a herd huddles together as protection from a predator. Twilight is an exception in that case because: 1. she's spent her life to that point in Canterlot, far away from anything dangerous; 2. she's really really powerful, even before her ascension; and 3. she's used to working alone. She doesn't know fear the way a typical pony does.
At the same time though, humans have more in common with that herd mentality than is commonly understood. We tend to assume that humans are top of the food chain, and Hollywood has popularised the strong, solitary, lone wolf protagonist since before films were in colour. But early humans survived by working together more than by individual strength, and a lot of our social instincts are founded in that. It's interesting to explore the psychological aspects of a sapient prey creature precisely because it's not so entirely alien.
I would imagine, in the far distant future when we finally get out to exploring space, that we won't meet many tiger equivalent species in the black. Even if top-tier carnivores evolved the intelligence needed to achieve such things as space flight, they'd have a much harder time collaborating socially because they don't have an evolutionary history of it. A grand endeavour, like a space rocket or a massive stone pyramid, can only be achieved collectively. Ponies in space I can totally believe - they'd probably favour larger world ships with nature-like environment inside.
I'm glad to see that many are liking this story
)
(To everyone that is reading this; keep an eyes on this author. There's plenty more where this came from
Hey, nice story. I enjoyed it plenty. Here's a thing I noticed:
"... asked Ava sceptically." I think you mean skeptically.
7410619 That's just the preferred British spelling.
I feel that either British or American spelling is valid on an international site like this, but each story should be consistent. Since I'm never going to adjust to American spellings of eg "armour", I stick to British throughout.
Except for the word "manoeuvre", that I simply cannot get right in either form.
I was pretty sad to see it end there. I was really enjoying these characters.
Added the 'gryphons' tag.
Omfgd! This is so AWSOME!!!
I'd tap it!
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
8634531
Thank you!
8634629
Is their any hope for an new chapter?
8634987
I've had some possible sequel thoughts, but they wouldn't be an immediate continuation.
8635120
Well, I can't wait!
94 up, 0 down, that's a well-earned rating. :D
8857707
100 up, 0 down. Thanks for the boost!
A Hundred and One Upvotes! Congratulations, you deserve every one of them.
8883569
And a teensy little OCD bit of me is disappointed that it's no longer a round number.
Wait! No, come back!
8883599
The funny thing is, I totally sympathize. I was actually somewhat reluctant to upvote just for that reason. Then again, another part of me was glad to do it, both for the sake of the pun and for whatever reason cats knock stuff off tables.
7130362
Humans are pack predators.
A pack tends to be a group of animals working closely together, like a pack of wolves. Packs have a very strong hierarchy where there is a very clear pecking order going from the alpha to the omega. (Yes, I know that the alpha is just the parent wolves)
Herds tend to be larger groups with no real structure or hierarchy involved. Sure there may some difference between the strong bulls and weak calves, but there is not a clear, organized pecking order. Herds are just a bunch of animals walking or living together, like a herd of buffalo. Since herds are so much better than packs at protecting against predation, they mostly consist of prey animals/herbivores.
What a magnificent piece of work! One of the best things I've read in a while!
7103772
If you use a sufficient mass of money, and project it at the proper velocity, there's no reason why it won't stop an asteroid.
7103772 9419479
Well, it really depends on the angle at which you throw it. If all you do retard the asteroid's velocity relative to Earth, then you'd actually make it more likely to hit. You need to hit at an angle that deflects the asteroid's path away from Earth's orbit. A secondary risk would be pushing the asteroid into an Earth-crossing orbit that meant it came back to hit again at some point in the future. Orbital mechanics is weird.
Money does have the advantage that, compared to a high-density guided projectile (a big rock) or any sort of explosive, it's low density and dispersed, meaning it may not cause too much of the asteroid to break up. However, at the relative speeds you'd need, even a soft paper note can impart enough of an impact to break through the asteroid to some degree, potentially causing asteroid debris to rain down on earth.
The solution may be to use a differential albedo. If you could coat one side of the asteroid in shiny coins, you'd affect the solar light pressure on that side, causing the asteroid's path to deflect over time. Colourless silver coloured coins would be preferable to gold ones for this. Of course, that isn't a quick deflection, meaning you'd need to reach the asteroid when it was still a good distance from the Earth.
9419479 Do we have enough money? (checks the world banks... and has an unpleasant surprise) Uhmmm... there's a whole lot of IOUs in there...
9419725 If you put the silver all on one side, though, you'd be dramatically altering the asteroid's center of mass and total mass... this would also change its rotation rate. If it spun too quickly, it could become gyroscopic and LESS likely to be perturbed from its projected course!
We must perform many calculations and simulations with a supercomputer.. which we will clearly have to custom-build since the computations to qualify every variable of every coin and scrap of paper money are FAR beyond the capabilities of any existing system! This is a CRITICAL PROJECT to the safety of the planet!
I think our budget should be at least equal to the Department of Energy.
(Retires 3 years later after buying Hawaii...) Ah, I just love government waste... when it's profitable to me.
9419979
If you propel it fast enough... say 99.9999999...% the speed of light, you can easily destroy it (and maybe turn it into a black hole)
9420145 No, a black hole would require symmetrical implosion of its mass into a singularity. An impact at near light speed would simply cause a huge explosion, likely releasing high-energy X-rays, ionized nuclei travelling at high speeds (cosmic rays), individual protons and neutrons from atomic nuclei that actually smashed together, and maybe gamma rays too depending on what the asteroid was composed of.
Now, might be able to do that if we could accelerate the money into all sides of the asteroid simultaneously at 99.99999999% the speed of light. But I don't know if we can generate that type of high-volume cash flow.
9420145 9420261
I don't think colliding it with money from every direction would work either. Even if you had a perfectly smooth distribution of coinage propelled at it from all directions, those coins would be meeting an imperfectly shaped asteroid so there'd be differential pressure. Before you reached critical mass to form a black, parts of the mass would escape, releasing the pressure.
What you might achieve from a high energy symmetrical money implosion is enough pressure to replicate a very small, bright sun. Even unevenly distributed, that pressure would be enough to make the hydrogen, helium and other light elements within the asteroid begin fusion. However, the heavier metals from the coinage would begin on the outside, while the lighter materials the asteroid was made of would begin on the inside - the exact opposite of a real sun, where the heavy elements sink down. Gravity and pressure would very quickly invert that situation, as the asteroid flipped itself inside out and released a hot gaseous blowout.
Most metals used in coins are either heavier than iron, or at least close to it. A pound coin, for example, consists of copper, zinc and nickel. Nuclear fusion of anything heavier than iron releases less energy than it took to create. This results in a sudden cooling of fusion in the core of a star when they start producing iron, resulting in the entire gravity-pressure-fusion edifice collapsing. So that initial gaseous blowout would be followed by a heavy metal explosion.
If you did manage to create a black hole, the Hawking radiation from one that small means it would be the brightest object in the sky and would shine for millions of years.
(
An asteroid with a mass equal to the Apophis asteroid, plus a bit for the money: 3×1010 kg
Event horizon radius: 4.45×10-17 m
Luminosity: 3.96×1011 W
Lifetime: 2.2×1015 seconds
)
Also, since your money implosion was symmetrical, and therefore had zero total momentum, it would still be headed straight for Earth.
9420558 So what you're saying is I need a whole bunch of coins made out of plutonium that I then need to slam at light speed into the perfectly spherical once-was-an-asteroid-but-is-now-a-dwarf-planet Ceres.
I CAN DO THIS!!
9420580 Wait... we WEREN'T trying to destroy the Earth in the most awesome way imaginable?
O..oh... (quickly cancels his huge plutonium order from... THE LIBYANS!!
Heh, they think I'm going to build them a nuke. You'd think after "Back to the Future" they'd have learned better!
9419725
I was actually picturing about a cubic kilometre of coins travelling in a shotgun-like cloud and hitting at a bit less than light speed. My imagination isn't a subtle place.
I do like your idea of steering the asteroid by changing the albedo of one side, though.