It's been 12 years since my wife died. It has been a hard time without her here, but one thing will always be my lifeline. My little angel Emma. She is all I have left in this world and there is nothing I won't do to make sure she's safe.....nothing
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Someone just became a pawn!
That is a pretty strong start. you have my attention and will be following the story.
One thing though, Can you try to add some space between paragraphs as it felt a bit to much like a large wall of text.
I think this line needs to be fixed, other than that a good start.
7427544
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Yeah I feel the same, but I didn't know how it would work.
7427715
I'll go ahead and try to fix that, thanks
7427808 very good and interesting I would love to see more!
It have potential
but you may need to be careful with where the story is to going.
I mean you don't want to cut the wrong wire now, do you?
CANCELLED!? Why!?.
Come on man, this story was going so well and it had such a strong start too.