Twilight is a princess. She is unassailable, indomitable, and above all, she is Good. This is what other ponies see, and this is the image that Twilight herself strives to live up to. She is kind when and where she can be, she is wise to the extent she is capable. And, by some miracle, the image and the reality line up more often than not.
And then, quite by accident, Twilight happens upon some disturbing news from a long-buried part of her life that destroys all of it.
For the first time, I'd like to give a gentle warning that this story involves a sensitive topic Sexual abuse. If you're bothered by this, I urge you not to read it. If you are effected by it, I urge you to seek the help and the compassion of others.
Chapters (1)
Jesus Cyn, take the follow. Just let me keep my feels.
If this is what you consider a poor attempt at story telling, your good attempts must make angels weep
Seriously, this was... It seems kinda wrong to call it really good given the subject matter, but it is. It's a good story and you handled the material better than I think I've ever seen on this site. 
It's hard to know what to comment on a story like this, but I think you've written a good story, and I'm going to trust you understand what I mean by that. The storytelling, the technical aspects, everything was sound and just...it did make a bit of a downer start to my morning but I knew what I was getting into from the description. All of the characters are very much in character as well.
That was good. I would also like to thank you for making a good description for this because going into something like that unprepared would sour most people's impression of a story. Other than that, not much to say other than that was very good.
Uh,maybe I'm reading too much into this or getting the wrong message, but you said this was a venting?
Cynewulf- consistently giving me perspectives to situations, people, and problems i avoid thinking about, and thereby building my humanity, whether i like it or not. Sometimes we need to be reminded how evil evil truly is.
And now I expect a story where Trouble Shoes rapes and murders the CMCs because he had them alone in his... *finds it* Oh god dammit, people! Really?
I think I'd like this better if it was original fiction. The mere fact that such a situation can exist in this setting stretches my ability to suspend disbelief past the breaking point.
7508619 to an extent I actually agree. I'm unhappy with a lot of things regarding this story, and one of them is that the premise probably would have been served better with non-pony characters.
Where exactly did this come up in Night? My memory isn't so good from half a million words ago.
7508673 When Twilight and Tradewinds have that little heart to heart in Jannah, where she talks about why the Black Hoof makes her so unreasonable and bloodthirsty out of nowhere. She doesn't exactly go into detail but implies pretty heavily that part of the Black Hoof's reign of terror in Petrahoof involved taking local mares as spoils after their coup. Twilight is horrified, but Tradewinds doesn't really give her an opportunity to talk about it and so it just kind of blends into the long list of sins that the mercenaries have committed.
Wow, this was really well done. It doesn't stretch the imagination too much to believe that the show could perhaps be a glossed over version, and that there are crimes like this in Equestria. The fact that Twilight couldn't talk about it and blames herself is both heartbreaking and realistic. You've earned my follow.
Tangentially, I'm just going to say you have probably the most elegant and erudite story titles of any author on FIMfiction, and that's saying a lot.
I was not expecting the final line in DS9 to make an appearance in this of all fics,
But considering the title I was watching for something of the kind
7508881 I thought the final line was "the more things change, the more they stay the same" from Quark. Did I use that?
7508894
Spike describing pinkie, "The more she changes, the more she stays the same."
Are you telling me that's coincidental?
7508971 yup! I wasn't thinking of DS9, though I love it. Just that phrase as a stock phrase.
7508779 They are usually taken either from the Bible or from poetry and hymns. There is an art to applying the right quote to the right situation, but do bear in mind that they are direct or slightly modified quotes.
I started looking at Cynewulf's stories because I at least partly recognized the titles. Some I have to look up. Poetry isn't my strong suit, and the hymnal I grew up with a was a bit lacking in the classics for some reason.
...I should read a whole story at some point. They're on my list but it's a long list.
Hooves. You actually make that kind of mistake a few times in this one. Using words like "people".
Extra space there.
I've been where Starlight is, finding out about something years and years after.
That sinking feeling.
Similar to Starlight, I have no idea what to say regarding this story. It is really well written, and is a clear picture into the minds of those in those kinds of situations. Sadly, we live in a world where people do terrible things, but we shouldn't blame ourselves for them. In Twilight's defense, she had no idea what he would go on to do. She never would have guessed. And she most certainly never intended for what happened to happen.
No one can ever be truly blamed for things that they never intended to happen, especially in situations where they are the victims. Perspective is 20/20 in hindsight, and people tend to blame themselves for actions they took in the past based on the knowledge they have now. It is entirely unfair to do that. While it is a great learning tool, to have that understanding to improve decisions now, it should not be used to place blame on the past. The past is passed, and not much can be done about it.
I think this is a good place for forgiveness to be had.
Blegh... I have far too much to say on this topic. I've got strong feelings about it.
Anyway, I really loved this story. It really captured the depth of the subject while allowing there to be some light shining through in the end.
Really well done I must say.
7508689
I remembered Tradewinds, I thought I had missed something said or implied about Twilight.
eh.
I'm afraid of giving this a like due to the sensitive nature of the entire story. But... just...
Yeah. I can't words. What can you really say when you find out something like that? Nothing. Nothing will change the past (I know what you want to say, Starlight, but shut up). Just be there, and look for a better future.
You've written this quite well though, so good job with that
There are some definite issues, and it feels distinctly rushed at times--but overall it's a solid piece that tells the story it sets out to tell without getting sidetracked or falling by the wayside into nonsensical drivel. The way the subject matter in the fic was handled was also well-done in my opinion. It transitioned from the existing slice-of-life atmosphere of MLP to a very bleak corner of Twilight's existence and back again with very smooth execution. The vocabulary wasn't entirely spectacular, but it got the job done as needed. Character-wise I felt like I was able to relate to both Twilight and Starlight, to feel their pain and their bonding as they struggled through this dark saga in Twilight's life.
A good piece of work that handles a tough subject commendably.
Also I just want to say that this story engaged my interest partly because I am a childhood sexual abuse survivor. Sorry for powerleveling.
7510507 as am I. Part of my displeasure with the final product was the failure to really encapsulate the feeling in a way that didn't veer into the melodramatic but also wasn't understated.
7510526 A sentiment reflected by twilight herself in the story. At such a length of time from the trauma she is uneasy to dismiss it and loathe to have it affect her friendships at all, but doesn't want to diminish its weight by shirking responsibility. She's balancing on a teeter totter with a vague sense of regret and a sense of nonzero culpability. It's ok to end like it did, with not much resolved, just a measure of comfort where she can find it, marching forward as she must.
Heavy shit man.
7509145 I'll grant you the hands, but in a world in which more than ponies exist, people is a perfectly acceptable word.
I feel like if Celestia or Luna knew of this, justice would be swift and bloody.
By revealing only a little, you revealed enough to make the story memorable. Kudos.
7510582 And the culmination of said justice would take at least a century.
...I...want to ask what inspired this but I'm afraid to know the answer.
7510868 A mere century? There is always room for a new statue in the garden.
7510893 Statue? There won't be enough LEFT for a statue. Maybe they'll save the pits and pieces for a new sandbox in the statue garden...
7510880 well I can safely tell you that the title is the 13th chapter of 1 Corinthians. It's a beautiful passage. The second is from chapter 15. When I first started working on this those were what I was reading. The alternate title was from chapter 15 as well. "For I tell you a mystery, that we shall not all sleep but we shall all be changed". It's talking about death, chapter 15, and those two chapters have meant a lot to me for several reasons. Take that, and this story as fiction therapy, as you will.
I believe "effect" should be "affect" in the story summary. Considering each spelling has two distinct meanings for four total, including differently-spelled homonyms, misunderstandings are ... understandable.
7510578
Agreed. I'm not sure why writers think people is a human exclusive term. One of the definitions is a group collective, which certainly qualifies ponies alone, and most definitely if other races like zebras and minotaurs are added.
My heart.
7511304
7510578
It's because of the show, if you're unsure or want to stick to the script, usually it's going to be written as pony.
I'd say it's more appropriate for them to use people than us, we're the only granted sapient species whereas they are not. But it is what it is.
7511531
It's not about context, it's about linguistics.
I can't speak for Steel Resolve, but I do not agree with people saying people is not an inclusive term for races in My Little Pony. It's not about whether it should or should not be allowed given context or a writer's expertise. I see readers that, upon seeing the term, say it should not be included because the characters are ponies. People, by one of its many definitions, can be inclusive to many different cultures or races. Ponies are a race of creatures with their own culture and history and are thus blanketed under the literal definition of the term.
Wow. This does a stellar job of capturing the emotions. Thank you for writing this! I feel like I understand a bit better now how victims feel.
Keep writing! :)
7511580
I know what some people say and how they may react to it, I acknowledged that.
From my first:
Meaning I understand 'people' no doubt fits them, as I said before this,
Of course it's an exaggeration but the meaning can still be gleaned
The point is that some people do complain, So? It's most likely just taste, as the phrase was used repeatedly they should have picked up it was intentional and not important.
it's.
Missing a pony.
While Canterly does sound like a lovely name for a town, I'm fairly sure you meant Canterlot.
You know, this more or less captured what my thoughts on this. It's well written, and emotionally charged, but I don't know how to respond to it because I've never and hope to God I never have to deal with something like this.
Although, at the mention of Sunset in this story, for some reason I thought she was part of this and had encountered the rapist before, and this little scene popped into my head.
He stepped back in alarm as a miniature sun formed at the tip of the teenage cutie's horn in front of him,
"Uh...," he said, transfixed by it the sight even as he broke out in a massive sweat even thirty feet away.
The girl-Sunset Shimmer, shifted her stance, eyes closed as she focused her on her spell in the clearing, the no doubt immense heat not even phasing her concentration.
He'd had those thoughts about her. The same ones he had about all the others, but her especially so. Her attitude and arrogance, combined with her age and beauty had drawn him like a moth to the flame,but he was starting to realize the flame was far too literal. He'd come out here, following her to this ruin. It'd be great to bring her down a peg, but...
He spared a look at the fireball and gulped. There wouldn't even be bones left, would there? With another gulp, he slowly backed away, leaving Sunset nonethewiser.
I'm not trying to victimize Twilight here by saying she should have been able to defend herself or anything like that. I haven't even read the greater story that this is connected to, so I don't know if this is remotely accurate at all-I was just going with the arrogant, selfish Sunset Shimmer I'd gotten to known from EG, the one who, as a demon, didn't hesitate to try and kill a bunch of innocent girls and whose knowledge of that fireball spell came from somewhere.
I don't even know why I wrote this and posted it here beyond a basic connection to this story.
Regardless, I liked this story, and it was paced rather well and emotionally charged.
7508175
I can't call it good. It's rather blatant, thinly veiled and doesn't stand on it's own. It does not all seem like a situation where canon Twilight would end up. Honestly it doesn't help, story-wise, that Starlight is assuming a 'truth' just like Celestia that can't, due to omission, be entirely correct and the vagueness of Twilight makes it a bit of stretch to call her experience something other than poor judgement. Another problem, also due to this being a snippet is that the stallion in question may have changed for the worse over time. Twilight's encounter with him seems tame by comparison to the hinted at news story.
That said it may accurately reflect something of reality that, having not experienced myself, is difficult to understand.
TL;DR The writing is alright, but it's obscured by the fact that it feels like a poorly veiled agenda clumsily squeezed into MLP.
7511531 I'm aware it's because of the show. But that doesn't mean the word doesn't exist in their lexicon. Hell, depending on the context, I can even see a pony using the word 'hand'.
7512506 no, I meant Canterly.
I'm...honestly unsure how to react to this. It seems okay, but I just don't know how well it addresses the topic. I myself never suffered...that in my life, and I'm just not sure how accurate this is. I know some victims do tend to blame themselves, and it seems well written, but I'm just unsure.
Well, I totally missed the content warning on this, whoops. I'm a CSA survivor, (spoilered explanation) thankfully I wasn't raped by my abuser but I was definitely made to do... Stuff... it was incest too (my uncle). So when CSA came up I braced myself, and I came out the other end of the story more or less unscathed. I think what I appreciate the most about this story is the importance placed on caring and understanding. Starlight doesn't pressure Twilight into doing anything she doesn't and isn't shy to ask what to do when she felt helpless. Twilight's reactions are very realistic and something I would expect from somepony who has led a life like hers.
I disagree that this is something that cannot be touched upon in pony fiction. If anything, it's strangely more comforting to see characters I am familiar with struggling with trauma that's similar to my own.
7514315 from one to another, I'm glad you felt that way about it. I wasn't entirely happy with this story but there are parts that I think we're right and you've touched on a few. You know, I've never seen that acronym before?