When you were God
Did it all seem like it was going to go as plotted out?
And when you were God
Did you expect a silence to your every shout?
When you were God
Did you expect every head to be bowed?
And when you were God
Did you expect your voice to be that loud?
When you were God
Did they ever ask you where they would go next?
And when you were God
Did you ever wish for that deep rest?
And when you were God
Did you begin to believe that all of it was real?
All the things that they had said
Even though you're the only mortal here?
Chapters (1)
regi y u gotta poetry so good
Seriously, this is amazing. The concept, the style, the voice. Thanks so much for writing it!
Saw this in group. Will check out later and let you know how it is
7472212 thanks fam
Rated L for a thumbs up.
This is a pretty astounding description off the basics of Celestia's life. I'd say it takes Celestia's backstory into somewhat a new light. Take my like.
Normally don't read fics of this style, but by God this was amazing.
Poor Celly though...
7472294 haha, thank you, it really means a lot to hear things like that
Devastating yet beautiful. Well done!!
This is pretty nice. All within a 1000 words to
7472461 it was difficult pushing this to 1000 words, actually
hard to balance between artful repetition and redundant filler, you know?
7472469 Still better then my story(s). Then again, you have 158 stories... Nice.
7472474 I wasted all my high school career writing horsewords
protip: don't do this unless you're rich
abject poverty and being massively in debt isn't much fun
still though, it is nice having a tangible record of how my writing skill improved over time
7472503 Makes sense.
Well damn. Nice job.
Take my upvote, good Regi.
I'll be the odd one out. I had to stop halfway through, go do something else, and then come back and finish it, the incessant repetition got to me.
I still enjoyed the poem, and you did a good job conveying Celestia's feelings. Guess it didn't hit me as hard because I wasn't too crazy on the format.
It's still good to know you're still writing, Regi.
Not sure I get it, but.... I love it nonetheless.
The concerns, fears, and regrets of an immortal, perhaps?
The repeated line, "when you were God," does have some resonance to it. Sort of like "when you were <the 'all-powerful' one>," with a bit of snark in the tone of whoever would be saying this to her after she'd, say, been bested by someone. "How does it feel, knowing that you had such power, but are now defenseless against me?"
Then again, who would be saying these things? Who would have bested her? Nightmare Moon? Chrysalis? Tirek?
Just thoughts.
Brilliant poem!
This was such fascinating poetry. Glad I read this!
10069469
Thank you! That means a lot. I was just rereading this and scowling at myself the other day so I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Man, poetry is something I've never been good at. I either stick to really silly couplets or just full-on try to emulate Ginsberg. This was a really good display of how poetry can tell a story. The tone/voice shifts as Celestia goes through different stages of her rule, primarily with what happened with Luna. The emotions were conveyed very well, and the scheme/rhythm of the whole thing just flows.
Great job with this!
I love this. Well done meter and simple repetitive scheme to drive the points home. It's lovely to see a prose peice on here. Well done. And I've written similarly with the last line, some here may not understand and that's okay, others do.