The Hospital

When Starlight is close to dying, her husband invites Princess Celestia to come to her hospital. This is what happens.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 14 )

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The_Random_Something

The_Random_Something #1 · Jun 29th, 2012 · · ·

This is my first pure comedy story so please give me critiscim! Thanks a bunch!

I could go for some pizza right about now...
-The_Random_Something

Church

Church #2 · Jun 29th, 2012 · · ·

haha, not too shabby from what I saw. Just a couple of grammatical errors or so, but they aren't that big of a deal...

The ending was funny funny concept. One Spike for ya

The_Random_Something

The_Random_Something #3 · Jun 29th, 2012 · · ·

Thanks! ... I had issues with my grammar?... Great. I am shamed! I'll go fix them.829881

Church

Church #4 · Jun 29th, 2012 · · ·

829933 Not too many, nothing that would really bother anyone, so yeah!

Shame is not necessary!

The_Random_Something

The_Random_Something #5 · Jun 29th, 2012 · · ·

829956 Alright. I fixed the ones I could see. I usually capitalize things I don't need to like when I said 'the Princess' instead of 'the princess'. I also noticed I said 'Startlight' once! Ugh.

Church

Church #6 · Jun 29th, 2012 · · ·

829972 if it helps any, there are groups designed to go through stories and proofread for you, just in case you miss things, or maybe you can learn something you didn't know

Or you can read through them a dozen times and make sure everything is correct, like myself, which sometimes doesnt work haha

The_Random_Something