Celestia, Celestia, Celestia, that's all I ever hear, that's all they ever talk about. 'Princess Celestia is so amazing', 'Princess Celestia is so caring and kind', 'Princess Celestia is the best ruler we could ever ask for'. Why don't I ever hear things like that about me? What even am I to them all? Do they even know I exist? I bet not.
Written in first person, from Luna's point of view.
Set a little while before Nightmare moon took over.
Luna is sick. Sick of hearing all about her elder sister all the time, sick of not being given the same treatment as her, sick of being ignored for all she has done, and sick of living in Princess Celestia's shadow. Looking back on her life one night after rising the moon and stars, wondering why all the ponies choose to sleep through her wonderous night, instead of appreciating it and basking in it, just like they all do with the day. Princess Luna is tired of being shunned like this all the time by the ones that are meant to worship her. But really she guesses she should have expected it, after all it's always been the same, ever since she was a little filly. In truth it was never meant to be about her, but maybe one day it just might be.
The first sentence. The first sentence of the story perfectly sums up my feelings on it. It gives us nothing new, it doesn't even build on the facts, it's just... the facts. I'm sorry, but I just don't like those stories that bring absolutely nothing new to the table. And I really don't sympathize with Luna in this story, she just sounds like brat who wants attention. Especially in this line:
This is Celestia we're talking about. The very personification (ponyfication?) of kindness and understanding, receiving competition only from Fluttershy. This is just false (if it isn't, then I don't know Celestia's character), and worse, it sounds like an author's mouthpiece.
No offense, but this really could be better. Perhaps by doing something more than just giving out information we already know, or maybe a series of events before this happened, anything that can be considered original.
7789535
?
7789535
It was just meant to be the facts, I wrote this as a way of showing Luna's feelings before she became Nightmare moon. So yes it wasn't meant to really give you anything new, it was just giving you a little look inside Luna's mind as she had to spend every night doing the same thing over and over again, thinking that it would never change, but one day wishing that it would.
She sounds like a brat who wants attention, because that's exactly what she was never given. In this story Luna believes that her parents, nor her sister ever cared for her. When in fact they did care for her, but she never took notice of that, because they were never around enough of the time.
Celestia's character seems very different in this story, because it is from Luna's point of view, so Celestia becomes the pony that Luna thought of her as, which is a pony who pays too much attention to her duties, and leadership, to worry about or even take any notice of her little sister.
Celestia is a very kind and understanding character, and it's true that she may have been nice and caring towards Luna before, but at this point in time Luna is too wrapped up in her own hatred, and loneliness, to believe that anyone cares for her, and she thinks that no one ever did care for her, so of course Celestia comes off as the same to her.
Remember this story is meant to be about how Luna was losing herself to her inner demons, and she never reached out for help, because she believed no one would care enough to help her.
And if you didn't like my story, that's fair you don't have to like it, and you really shouldn't have to apologize for it. But thank you for reading anyway.
KillerChainsaw ;)