With a purposeful grimace and a terrible sound, the rampaging dragon knocked the buildings down. The awful, horrible, terrible three-hundred and fifty foot tall—no, four-hundred and fifty foot tall dragon went on a berserk spree of destruction. With her tail, which was easily over three times the length of her massive, muscle-bound body, she knocked over residences, towers, grand palaces, and chicken coops with complex, unfair locks placed upon them.
She picked up a wagon and threw it back down as she waded through the buildings towards the center of town.
Throwing back her head, she let out a fearsome, smoky roar, then kicked over a high rise apartment complex. Kicking was fine, but if she used her terrible fire, the wrath of the alicorns would fall upon her. With a hearty smack, she leveled a shop and sent rubble flying. That would teach them to lock their chicken coops with locks that she couldn’t slip a claw into. That’d fix them good!
“I have become annoyance,” the empress goddess dragon shouted as she waved her frills and spines, “inconveniencer of alicorns! All shall know me and feel alarmed! RAWR!” She wiggled her backside in an irreverent, disrespectful manner, not caring about consequences, because she was five-hundred feet tall, far too big to be spanked or sent to bed without a snack.
Turning her body about, another building tumbled over, sending the panicked residents running through the street, screaming in mortal terror of her dragon superiourity. She lifted a chunk of rubble high over her head, and then flung it at another building, which collapsed on impact. She snatched up more rubble with her tail, then slingshotted it at a graceful arch. With a terrific crash, the arch collapsed, and the ginormous dragoness bellowed with laughter. She most certainly didn’t squeak, as only puny, insignificant little teeny tiny dragons squeaked.
“RAWR! No mercy!”
Amused, Twilight watched as Boomer went on a rampage of destruction, destroying an entire town made of blocks. The little dragon had constructed the city herself, and now, lost in a world of her own imagination, she was at last the big, powerful dragon that she dreamed of being. She stomped, kicked, and rampaged, roaring out her tiny, bellicose fury.
Not far away from the rampant destruction, Sumac, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash were playing cards. Sumac had to be cheating, he had to be, but Twilight wasn’t sure if the colt was even aware of it. His talent for grift, his knack for vice, he was his father’s son, no doubt. Applejack and Rainbow Dash, two very competitive ponies, looked rather irked that they were losing to a foal while playing poker.
Pebble was getting a makeover from Rarity, and Fluttershy offered helpful advice.
And then there was Spike. Poor Spike. Twilight watched him, grinning, and it was obvious that he wanted to join Boomer on her spree of mayhem. Alas, poor Spike wanted to be mature, grown up, well behaved, so he sat there in his chair, watching, and looking a little sad that he couldn’t join.
“Four aces! You little cuss, I’m gonna tan your worthless, cheatin’ hide!” Snatching off her hat, Applejack slapped Sumac with it as her cards fell to the floor like autumn leaves.
Sumac tried to duck away, but Applejack was faster by far, and she pulled him into a tight embrace. He kicked and wiggled, trying to get free, but Applejack was bigger, stronger, and knew more about wrassling uncooperative critters. With a sigh, Twilight realised that Applejack wouldn’t be bigger than Sumac for much longer—oh, no doubt, she would outweigh him, but Sumac was growing tall and slender.
“No! No! Not the noogies!”
“Yes, noogies!” Applejack cried as she went to work. “I gotta keep you honest, somehow, you conniving little grifter!”
“I wasn’t cheating, honest! I just got lucky!”
“Give him the business, Applejack!” Rainbow Dash pumped her hoof into the air and grinned at Sumac’s attempts to get free.
“RAWR!” A single block flew in a perfect, beautiful arc, and then bounced off of Rainbow’s skull with a hollow sounding conk. “OOPS!” Covering her mouth with her claws, Boomer stood there, looking mortified at just having brained one of her idols.
“Ugh, I am dead!” Clutching her head, Rainbow toppled over and died, hitting the floor with a muffled thud.
“No!” Raising her claws over her head, Boomer shouted, giving voice to her grief for having killed Rainbow Dash during her rampage of destruction. “I killed Rainbow Dash with brain damage!”
“No you didn’t,” Pebble deadpanned. “You can’t damage what isn’t there. This game of imagination has gone too far and has become unbelievable.”
Opening one eye, Rainbow Dash’s ear twitched as she lay in a heap on the floor. “OW! I need some burn cream! Somepony help!”
“Darling…” Rarity held an ornate comb over Pebble’s head and her lips puckered into a fine moue. “What is it with you, your mother, and your positively savage roasting?”
“Everypony has to have a hobby,” Pebble replied. “Some ponies just make it too easy and we can’t resist. Lightning strikes trees, and my mother and I burn ponies. It is the natural order of things.”
“OW!” Rainbow cried, clutching at her barrel.
Covering her mouth, Fluttershy began giggling, and got a dirty look from Rainbow Dash for her troubles. Applejack’s noogies had ceased and she now sat hugging Sumac, who still kicked and squirmed, to no avail. Boomer had gathered up blocks and was trying to construct a mausoleum around Rainbow Dash.
The door to the Princess Suite opened and Pinkie Pie walked in…
The room had a dreadful silence that Twilight didn’t like at all. Something had happened, Twilight was sure of it, but what had happened was still unknown. Squinting, Twilight checked for limp curls, but Pinkie’s mane seemed as bouncy as ever, which made the situation even more perplexing. She was even smiling, sort of.
She said nothing as she moved through the room, her hooves making soft thumps against the wooden floor. While everypony else had gone still, Boomer was still making a mausoleum for Rainbow Dash, perhaps because Boomer was too young to understand that something was going on.
When she reached where Pebble was sitting, Pinkie Pie sat down and pulled Pebble into a warm, affectionate embrace, and that was when Twilight realised just how much Pebble had grown. She wasn’t much smaller than Pinkie Pie now, and both were of similar build. Heavyset, but in a good way, a body made for hugs and snuggles.
Twilight knew that something had to be said, but her mouth had gone dry and she couldn’t find the words. She could feel that something was wrong, something terrible had transpired, but try as she might, she couldn’t seem to say anything.
“Darling…” Rarity began, and then she too, fell silent, struck by the same affliction as Twilight.
“What happened, Pinkie?” Pebble asked.
“I almost made a terrible mistake,” Pinkie replied, her voice shrill with emotion. “I let my loneliness get the better of me and I almost goofed.”
Without even looking in Rainbow’s direction, Twilight Sparkle knew that Rainbow was looking at her, staring even, and Twilight thought about the H.A.L.T. rule, though she didn’t know why it sprang to mind. Twilight’s throat grew tighter and her mouth, drier.
“I was so focused on what I thought I wanted that I somehow forgot what I had,” Pinkie admitted as she began to stroke Pebble’s mane. Leaning over a bit, she smooched Pebble on the cheek, closed her eyes, and pulled her niece closer.
“I keep telling you, if you are lonely, you can take Sly. I don’t mind.”
A half-hearted fit of giggling made Pinkie Pie’s body jiggle. “I can’t take your brother—”
“Oh yes you can,” Pebble insisted. “Nopony would mind. I know I wouldn’t.”
“Pebble, your mother has a special place in her heart for Sly, because your grandmother, Cloudy, finally got the colt she’s been wanting to spoil.”
“Which is why he needs to go.” Pebble gave her aunt a squeeze, and her eyes darted around the room at the ponies (and dragons) watching her. “He gets away with everything and that’s not fair.” After a moment, Pebble added, “Besides, you named him. That makes him yours.”
Sighing, Pinkie redoubled her grip around Pebble, closed her eyes, and began to rock back and forth on the floor. For Twilight, the resemblance between the mare and the filly soon to be a mare was uncanny. Different colours, sure, but there was something about them both, some unknown, unexplainable magic that made them special.
“Darling, what happened?” Rarity asked, finally getting the question out.
Pinkie Pie did not reply, not right away, but continued to squeeze Pebble. Fluttershy, with hesitant, jerky movements, turned the hug between the pair into a group hug, piling onto Pinkie and squeezing both her and Pebble close. The sound of wooden blocks being stacked around Rainbow Dash filled the room, and for a time, it was the only real sound there was.
Applejack was still holding Sumac, though now for very different reasons, and her hat lay on the floor, forgotten. Rarity sat by herself on the floor, looking apprehensive, still holding a comb in her telekinesis, which filled the area around her in a glittery, pale blue glow. Twilight watched as Spike got up from where he sat, and he waddled over to where Pinkie was to be with her.
Spike and Pinkie had always shared a special relationship that made Twilight a little jealous at times.
“I made a fool of myself,” Pinkie began, her voice cracking. “I thought that if I couldn’t give Cheese a reason to stay, then maybe I could have a little something-something as a memento. He saw right through that though, and he was right, I was looking for a way to lure him back to me.”
“Oh, Pinkie, I’m sorry—”
“Rarity, don’t be sorry.” Pinkie Pie flashed her friend a bittersweet smile. “I had to grow up sometime. It hurt a little, but I’m okay. Really, I am. I’m just glad that it happened with my friends here to cheer me up. I don’t know what hurt more, actually… the rejection, my own stupidity, or the fact that I made a fool out of myself.”
“Pinkie… I…” Rarity set the comb down upon the floor beside her.
“I think… I think I’m all partied out,” Pinkie Pie admitted. “The party I just tried to throw fizzled out, and I’m glad it did. I almost made a big mistake. It’s time I settled down a bit, acted my age, and maybe, just maybe, it is time I thought about my own needs instead of focusing so much on others. I just put myself into a real desperate spot.”
“I had to deal with this problem too,” Fluttershy whispered. “I was no good with ‘me time’ and I burned out. I just wanted to be kind to others and help out. That is why I am so insistent that we have a good time on this vacation… this is my ‘me time’ and I’ve become a little more assertive about getting it.”
“Is this why you vanished to the Crystal Empire for seven months?” Pinkie asked.
Her face turning pink, Fluttershy nodded. In a shrill, squeaky, embarrassed voice, she replied with one word: “Yes.”
“Well… once we get done here, I think that’s where I’ll go. I need to get myself sorted out and I don’t trust myself to do it on my own.” Holding Pebble close, Pinkie Pie leaned into Fluttershy’s embrace and let out a sigh. “Terminal burnout sucks.”
Swallowing a few times, Twilight found her words. “I brought my sleepover book.” Her voice cracked, so she coughed to clear her throat and tried again. “I brought my sleepover book in anticipation of being spontaneous and having all of us together in one room, just like this. We should make the most of this night… right now, when we’re all together. I think we need each other.”
“Twilight’s planned spontaneity,” Applejack grumbled and she grinned at Twilight.
“It’s been a while, Applejack.”
“It sure has, Sugarcube.”
“Maybe this time, after all these years, we can finally get it right.”
“Not a chance of that happening, Rarity.”
“You’re still angry about that game of truth or dare, aren’t you?”
“Not angry, no, just disgusted.”
“Girls!” Twilight raised her voice and it felt like old times. “Girls, behave!”
You're gonna be okay, Pinkie. You're gonna be okay.
I'm still waiting for Twilight to get attacked in a dark alley by a rabid quesadilla.
Best pony is crying.
Certainly not crying myself. Nope.
Noodle incident?
7953538
ikr?
Think this story should be subtitled Mares Trying to get Laid for the Wrong Reasons and Failing--or perhaps The Mating Habits of Emotionally Compromised Mares.
Not sure about getting laid but this is the WEED-verse all the characters seem to go through pain and growth.
What Pinkie Pie realized is the truth Cheese is always roaming and will never stop there is nothing tying him to any location. AS another party pony the same could happen to her but she made herself a home in Ponyville with her friends
Quesadilla dare, I am calling it.
How long is gestation in this world?
Oh no, there goes Canterlot!
Go, go Boomzilla!
Now Pinkie can find her own party song.
That's just not right.
Harsh, but fair.
Hmn. Thinking out loud here, maybe Pinkie needs to think about adoption? It turned out pretty well for Sumac, and it kinda sorta feels like what Pebble is suggesting here with her offer of her brother.
Why isn't Spike in on the game of Poker? Taking other people's money from them in a gratuitous manner should be second nature to a dragon.
7953926
He's too busy watching Boomer and wishing that he could get away with what she's doing.
D'aaaaaaww! Good and insightful friendshipping all around!
Again, it must be tough for Spike, being a long-lived creature living among short-lived ones, but that's not what caught my attention this time.
I seem to remember a comment Pinkie made about Spike in Princess Twilight Sparkle's School for Fantastic Foals following the attack on Ponyville. I forget what the comment was exactly, and at the time I thought it was a nice reminder that Spike's a loved part of their circle. With this, though...
Color me intrigued.
7954000
Pinkie will play with Spike, which is something that Twilight really doesn't do. Twilight is a bit too studious and scholarly for trivial things, like play.
Now, Spike has a playmate that is relatively close to his own age, dragonwise, but a bit too much of Twilight has rubbed off on him.
7953733
I think the author ment that shy went to the crystal Empire for therapy with cadence not pregnancy. But I could be wrong.
Mothra Dash taken out by a wanton flying Buddhist Temple, only to have Boomzilla then bury the carcass in the local rubble! You know...cause it's fun!
7953538
They're in proximity to Mt. Maud, so that actually might be a possibility...
7954000
Pinkie's statement was along the lines of: "He thinks of us like we're his family, and he defended us! He's like a really distant cousin to me!"
I think... On one hand it's like "aww isn't that sweet? She returns his feeling of family" but I also got the sense that... Spike (allegedly) charged the harpies and put his life in danger to protect "his family" which includes her... and that's not the behavior you display toward your extremely distant relative.
So there's a bit of a mismatch between how important to her Pinkie claims Spike to be, and how important Spike acts like she is to him.
7954886
Now I'm remembering that conversation between Sumac and Spike during Lulamoon Hollow. Something about how Spike sees his family. If I could remember what chapter it was, I'd go read it again. I don't really feel like going chapter diving right now. Maybe tomorrow.
7954931
...
Yeah, I remember that one too.
Spike basically said that "family" doesn't matter to dragons, because everyone in a generation is "brother and sister" and that two whelps will form a special superprotective bond between themselves, where the two of them will instinctively protect each other, to prevent... well juvenile cannibalism and violence.
That's what Twilight is to Spike, that super close person. No name for the relationship is given, but it is a roar that cannot be written.
Spike was very adamant that this was how he felt about Twilight, and that he'd roar it to the entire world if he knew. It was a powerful expression from Spike about how much he cares for Twilight and how devoted he is to her.
... And, because already pointed out mismatches, this was right before Spike disappeared from the rest of the arc at the estate, when Twilight and the rest of her family enthusiastically welcomed Trixie and Sumac into their family, and Twilight had this touching scene with Sumac where she thought about how precious he'd become to her by comparing her to the important people in her life... the main six and her family. But not Spike.
So... yeah. Another mismatch where Spike is extremely close to the ponies in his life, but while Twilight clearly has a relationship with Spike, one that isn't quite what she has with anyone else, she doesn't seem to treat it with the same kind of specialness or closeness that Spike has for her. Or that she just chronically takes him for granted, I suppose.
7954969
Characters have to come and go, otherwise pacing breaks down and the story grinds to a halt. You can only juggle so many characters in a scene for so long before things start to grind down. It is a matter of practicality. Background characters have to go back into the background so the story can continue.
It's a lesson I've had to learn the hard way.
7954969
Huh, so this is what it's like to be on the other side of a long post in one of Kudzu's story. Makes for a nice change of pace.
I can never tell what Kudzu has planned. I originally never expected Spike to become a central character at any time in the Weedverse, but then the same was true for Rainbow Dash, and now she's The Best. And she's a major character in Skyreach. She went from having almost no presence to having a major presence. So I have no idea what Spike's future in the Weedverse holds.
I'll say this, though. If even half of what you just said is in any way accurate, then I am so hyped for the future. I probably shouldn't get hyped up based of a commenter's analysis, but 2 am is the perfect time for questionable decisions!
7954997
Spike's future in the Weedverse is as follows:
A much older Spike will sit down with a foal or three, little foals that are very, very precious to him, and he will tell them a story about heroes, about chosen champions that battled against Grogar. Spike will tell them about how he was there for almost every major event, right there in the background, Twilight's most devoted and trusted servant. It'll be a long story that he tells these foals, and he'll explain to them that good doesn't always win, not without sacrifices. Spike will then recount with his perfect, unerring memory, all the friends he lost, how he lost them, and what they meant to him.
That is Spike's future.
7955010
...I'm not sure it's fun if you tell me flat out. Still, probably best that you snuff out that line of thought before I get too hopeful. It wouldn't really be fair for me get upset just because one of my personal favorite characters doesn't get a major role. It happens, no big. (...What is the Big Mac emoticon supposed to be saying?)
I'd say I hope he finds love at some point, but I feel that way about Spike in general. I'm glad to know he still has a place in pony society even after he matures in the Weedverse. That's nice.
7954990
I'm more or less aware of that, but that doesn't change that as a result the arc significantly implies that Spike is on the outside of Twilight's life, looking in... Nor does it change that most of the scenes I can remember with Spike are consistent with the idea that Spike is more devoted to others more than anyone is devoted to him. (Save for perhaps Boomer, because Spike is at the top of that adult-child relationship instead of at the bottom.)
Spike in the Weedverse has combined with my headcanon that Spike's self worth is connected to whether or not he has been useful to others, because he believes that serving others is the only reason that they would include him in their life. Basically a more insidious version of his behavior in Owl's Well and his central fear in Crystal Empire that is more about how he believes that his service of others creates his relationship with them and without it they wouldn't have a reason to love him anymore (or at least have less of a reason to love him), rather than he believes he'll be thrown out of his home if he stops.
And the portrayal of Spike in the Weedverse is consistent with that, because it reinforces how devoted he is to the ponies around him a lot and only reinforces how much they care for him outside of his service just a little. The fact that you write such good depictions of mentorship and adult-child interactions in the case of basically every other foal makes it more frustrating.
There: That's why I'm frustrated with Spike and Weedverse. Previously I was unhappy with him just not being around, but now it's that his background appearances reinforce one of my more insidiously negative headcanons about the character.
Sorry for being so unpleasable, and I realize that a major part of what I am frustrated with is that I was already primed to see Spike's relationship with those around him in an unfortunate way, and that Spike is not the focus of any of these stories so I'm going to need to be content with well-handled background hints, instead of a large amount of characterization like with the likes of Sumac or Flicker.
7955571
So, I need to hurry up and write Spike's School for Ferocious Beasts, is what you are saying.
7955600
... I can't tell what the ratio of joking and serious is in this response.
7955741
Oh, I am being serious.
It started out as a fluff idea, but then became a bit more serious in scope. Spike, seasoned veteran of surviving in pony culture, is tasked by Twilight Sparkle to help those who aren't doing so well with pony culture. In this instance, Megara and Boomer. He's stuck helping them clean up their act because Twilight believes that he is the most eminently qualified.
What follows is wacky hijinks as Spike tries to explain why you can't steal chicken eggs, you can't pounce on ponies, or drop out of trees on top of them. He has to try and make the two troublemakers understand that making ponies faint isn't funny, and spooking them isn't nice at all.
7955752
Oh! It's a better idea than I was envisioning in my head, too, neat. Hopefully it won't be all wacky shenanigans at Spike's expense, too. I mean, I watch the show, I've got a lot of that already.
7956154
The Wardens are NOT dragons. Trying to compare their behaviour and associations would be disastrous.
Pebble: What was your first roast like?
7956275
Pebble. My first roast was me commenting that the moon had a really big crack in it. I got sent to my room. It was great. I read books.
Hmm this should be "memento", I think. But it can be Pinkie making an error...
I have never seen a more concise embodiment of little dog syndrome.