"Roll up, roll up, everypony. Feast your eyes on the marvellous contract we've drawn out together, which I'm sure everypony will absolutely love! Well, I say 'we've' and 'together' when in actual fact it was me who decided on most of the lion's share of the contents. You just sort of stood there in the background dribbling a bit and nodded your head lethargically while I told you what to jot down, didn't you dear? Still, I guess you performed your part admirably enough. You'd make a very nice little secretary you know, if this Barnyard Bargains thing ever falls through! Glad you finally saw things from my perspective, anyway... and all it took was the promise of having my mother come round for a visit to change your mind! Anypony would think she was some kind of ogre, but I must admit: I am somewhat of a pussycat compared to her! Regardless, as you all can clearly see, those are our dual signatures in the bottom right hoof section. Now all that remains is for My Diamond to agree to add her penmanship to the mix, Our Ladyship to declare it official and then Starlight can finally live out the fantasy game of 'happy families' she's harboured for so long! And may I say I just feel so honoured to fulfil..."
"Alright Mrs Rich, I think we get the general gist of what you're saying. Hoof it over so we can analyse everything in minute detail, if you please. I'm sure you won't mind if we don't take your words at face value, because judging by your words and actions today I have to treat this new willingness to grant my student such unfettered access to her birth daughter with a healthy degree of skepticism..."
"Why Princess, you've got me all wrong!! I know we might have got off on the wrong hoof at first, what with me being surprised by the sudden reemergence of Ms Glimmer after so many years of running a sordid equality cult, but now we're all together again I hope we can have a truly constructive relationship! After all, as sure as I am that my precious gem is in safe hooves with your wonderful pupil, I do expect you to keep a close eye on them both. As you've just sadly witnessed, My Diamond can be a bit of a tearaway when her mouth starts running away with itself, and concerning Starlight's less than savoury past..."
"Mrs Rich. I can assure you that whatever happens next, the well-being of and accommodation for Miss Tiara will be dealt with the utmost care. And, you're forgetting that she's now at just the right age to make a lot of those kind of decisions for herself. Frankly, if I may speak off the record a little, some of the things you've said in our five hour-plus meeting have been so shocking, you're lucky that you're being included in this whole process at all. It's only because my hooves are tied by Equestrian parental law that I'm not tearing up this I'm sure highly duplicitous contract this very instant..."
"Oh, my dear! You're not still hung up on that 'you can't do your job properly' comment chain from me, are you? Even though I'm extremely gratified that a royal princess takes my personal opinion so seriously, there's something else you ought to know. Those were hasty words said in the heat of the moment, and expunged from the mouth of a heartbroken mare who's very world was crashing down around her. I'm sure you can appreciate, what with the entire tragic situation regarding me, my husband and our beautiful filly that I may not have been of entirely sound mind when I recanted those spurious remarks. If you can't accept them as the facile ramblings of a devastated wife and mother, then please accept my most humble apologies for any offence caused. After all, nopony has more respect for the monarchy than I..."
"To be honest Mrs Rich, criticism from you is not something I take too seriously, so no apology is needed. The ones you should be begging for forgiveness are your husband and adopted daughter... not only for today's outrage, but from what I understand is years of systematic abuse at your very hooves. So, if you actually have any sort of conscience for potential wrongdoings you may have perpetuated against others, maybe there's a good place to begin."
"W-Well you and I can argue about the true validity of those claims until the mules come home Princess, but right now shall we just concentrate on the paperwork I've carefully prepared? It's all ready for your perusal, just step forward and examine it."
"...Fine, Mrs Rich. I knew it was too good to be true."
"What was that last part, darling?"
"Nothing."
After that somewhat spirited exchange of views, the only item left on the agenda was for Twilight to snatch up the contract proffered by a chillingly confident Spoiled, and study it in great detail. Standing directly behind the princess to read over her shoulder was a equally curious Starlight, leaving poor old Diamond Tiara to jump up and down like a fish on a hook just to try and make out any text at all.
As for poor old Filthy Rich, to say he was currently out for the count would be a gross understatement. The barrage of shouting, caterwauling and outright threats that'd been levied at his non-stop ringing ears was severe even by his obnoxious wife's astronomically high standards, and right now all he wanted to do was collapse in the corner to rest his weary brain. So, that's exactly what he did. Peace, perfect peace.
In the meantime, Twilight unexpectedly turned away from the piece of paper carefully levitated in front of her eyes shortly after receiving it, a deepish frown clearly creasing up her already line-ridden forehead (this princess lark was always going to be hard work, after all).
"Mrs Rich..." she enquired politely, with one eyebrow noticeably raised far more than the other. "May I ask you a question?"
"Why, surely dear!" Spoiled replied innocently, with a voice like honeyed sugar. "I'm always at your complete disposal, you know that! Whatever could the matter be?"
"The 'matter', Mrs Rich..." At this juncture, the alicorn spun the contract around so the front section faced the snooty mare directly "...Is this!!"
Twilight stabbed her hoof towards a third of the words at the bottom, where the writing was so minuscule as to be completely illegible.
"Everything we can read on here presently has already discussed." Twilight growled in annoyance, suspecting not unreasonably another of Spoiled's patented dirty tricks. "Diamond Tiara coming to stay with me for a month. Starlight Glimmer being given complete custody of her for that extenuating period. The consequences if she lasts the course there, or returns to the mansion early. We already know most of that. But this situation is a lot more complicated than just those simple bullet points. I don't know why, but something tells me you're hiding something very important in those tiny paragraphs towards the end..."
"Nonsense, darling!" Spoiled's grinning reassurance carried with it the same level of conviction one might give an alligator asking a bird to use his teeth as a roosting spot. "That's just meaningless jargon, the same kind of small print you'd find on any legally binding document. It's only mumbo jumbo, so don't fret about it!"
Needless to say, Twilight wasn't a complete idiot and so dismissed Spoiled's mightily suspicious pledge offhoof almost immediately. "Even so, before I give this to Diamond Tiara to look at and officially authenticate I'd very much like to get a closer look at these indecipherable passages, please. Perhaps you could go get me a magnifying glass from your husband's study, if you'd be so kind? I didn't bring my spectacles with me today, as I had no idea I'd be involved in such a complex statutory sequence of events. There's no need to rush... we can wait."
The easy way Twilight rejected Spoiled's 'honest' guarantees made Spoiled want to explode with rage there and then, but she wasn't so foolish as to blow a fuse right in front of Ponyville's most esteemed inhabitant. Instead, she glanced over the princess's head and even past the visibly agreeing Starlight to settle her eyes on a still frantically hopping Diamond Tiara, a crafty, nasty plan entering her head. Nopony stops me getting what I want, not even royalty.
"Of course... whatever you say, dear." Spoiled ostentatiously turned around to convey the illusion she was going back into Filthy's office, but doing so at a speed worthy of an inebriated snail. "I should've realised my daughter wouldn't be up to the simple task of obeying a few extra minor rules and regulations. I suppose that's how you can tell she isn't really, properly part of our illustrious family line, because she has to be babied in such a delicate manner by you. Still, at least it just goes to show who'll truly be in control during her extended stay over at Friendship Castle. Such a shame though, that a filly who professes to be a future leader should have so many choices made for her in advance. I never displayed such weakness when I was her age... whenever I faced a challenge, I grabbed it with both hooves without any hesitation and didn't give up till I'd won. Maybe I should've been the one with the tiara symbol, if she's going to grow up to be the sort of mare who buckles under the slightest pressure and leaves all of her big decisions in the hooves of others. Just like her pathetic, worthless father. So sad. So very sad..."
"Give that to me! I'll show you who's 'weak'!!" All throughout Spoiled's decisive evisceration of her character and cutie mark talent, Diamond had been getting more and more angry. Her pink coat had inexplicably turned a nice palette of scarlet, while nostrils flared and her hooves began to stamp the floor in pure agitation.
What really set her off though, was the cutting final remark about her cherished father. Upon hearing yet more unbelievably disrespectful jibes about her revered male parental figure, Diamond knew she had to act quickly. No way was she going to let Spoiled be proven right, that she was just some pitiful wimp who couldn't tolerate anything that her fake mother could throw at her. I'll show her! I'll show them all!
So, without a further thought, the irascible pink filly leaped higher in the air then she'd ever climbed before, to snatch up both the paperwork from a surprised Twilight and a inked quill that Spoiled had 'conveniently' dropped on the ground.
Completely ignoring the frenetic cries of Twilight and an anxious Filthy, who although exhausted was desperately trying to drag himself over to his 'daughter' to stop her, she had no scruples whatsoever in signing her name next to his and Spoiled's...
...Which of course, is exactly what the older mare wanted her to do.
Ignoring her husband's murmured sobs in the background of "What have you done." Spoiled wasted no time at all in rushing over to her 'daughter', scooping up the now completely filled in document from her hooves while simultaneously giving her the iciest of smiles.
"That's a good girl. You know it makes sense." The smug mare purred happily, before turning to a pensive Twilight in triumph. "There we go, Princess. You can keep this contract safe for us now, to demonstrate that I have absolute faith in our ruling classes. I think you'll find that it adheres to all facets of Equestrian law and order, including all the witnesses present. As you so rightfully said, My Diamond is at that precocious age when she can make these kind of decisions for herself, so her signature on this contract is just as valid as mine and my darling husband's. You also saw for yourself that she signed this paper completely of her own free will and volition. The rules and regulations set out on there can therefore not be challenged by anypony now for the next thirty days, even by you. Do you understand everything I am saying dear, or would you like me to go over it again?"
"If there's anything on there that might put her physical health or mental state in danger..." Twilight seethed, clutching at straws. "...I hope you know that whatever you've scribbled down will be completely null and void."
"Oh Princess, do you really think I'd try to pull anything like that?!" Spoiled laugh at the slightest implication she'd be capable of such a thing. "I have big plans for My Diamond in the future, and causing her any unnecessary suffering would hinder those intentions irreparably. Now, it just so happens I've just found another version of the official document in my back pocket that I made out for the Rich family's personal archives, where everything is the same except for the fact that it's all written in large-size font! What are the chances I'd forget about that, eh? Anyway, please congregate in a semi-circle around me, and you'll find out exactly what else lies in store..."
With little option but to obey, the quartet of nervous onlookers shuffled forward to read which unrevealed clauses were being proposed in the next month, with varying degrees of enthusiasm afterwards.
What was written down was of no great surprise to Filthy Rich, who's main reaction was one of disgust at himself for being brow-beaten yet again by his dreadful wife... and this time, it couldn't have come at a more crucial moment. As for the rest of the crew:
Starlight Glimmer was utterly delighted!
Twilight Sparkle was a little confused.
And Diamond Tiara...
Well, she was completely horrified. Her reckless impulsiveness had cost her dearly.
And now, without further ado:
Our story can start for real.
That's not good...that's not good at all. Spoiled is one evil *****...geez louise is she ******* evil!
Diamond, Diamond, Diamond. You let your emotions get the better of you.
I fear of what Spoiled have in store for them. At least we won't have to hear anymore of Spoiled's annoying, insulting rants... for now.
contrary to popular myth, once a proper legal offcial has declared the contract not legal until fully looked over (as twilight has such authority and did in spirit make this declaration) that doesn't make signing acontract a legal document, spoiled rich used psycological manipulation to commit fruad, the contract isn't void, it's illegal.
8307788 In my mind and in this Equestria, it's Diamond's responsibility at her age to keep her cool and sign the contract at her leisure, Twilight is only the supervisor to the whole process.
In not thinking before she acted, Diamond has now unwittingly put everything into that contract into effect... as long as there's nothing potentially harmful in there, there's nothing anypony can do to stop it from happening.
OK, I have to stop reading this now.
The idiocy is causing me mental trauma.
This was a game of idiot ball before, and descended into a full-on idiot plot.
The very idea that someone could unlawfully ‘adopt’ a child, put said child through years of emotional (and possibly physical) abuse, and then somehow convince the child's biological parent, a known GENIUS, and a royal that they should make some kind of legal document on a ‘bet’ that could possibly end with said unlawful (and awful) parent gaining custody of the child…
Rather than just taking the child away from the abusive kidnapper and arresting the abusive asshole… or doing one of any number of actually logical things.
I normally don’t comment on stories.
Its just… I have no words for how stupid this is.
go to TVtropes, look up idiotball.
That is this story.
I want to say the trick to Spoileds plans is "Diamond must say 'I love Starlight as a mother' and absolutely mean it" Which of course doesn't make sense because love is such an abstract subject but it works for Spoiled
8307804 There is a difference between being a 'genius' and a 'genius manipulator', you know. Twilight may be the former, but she is most definitely not the latter. I'm sorry that you think this story has descended into the 'Idiot Ball' trope, but I was just trying to highlight the fact that sometimes life is not fair even in Equestria, and people/ponies can abuse the law and look for tangible loopholes in everything, even in situations as delicate as adoption. Things like this, where clever and unscrupulous lawyers and clients abuse the system all the time go on regularly in everyday life, and I certainly don't think the MLP world is immune to such a practice. I've seen a lot of episodes that require far more of a leap of faith to believe than this fic, so I don't feel that too much which has happened so far is beyond the realm of possibility. I'm sorry you've decided to stop reading the fic because I have a lot of great stuff lined up, but I respect your decision and I hope you'll change your mind. Have a nice day!
Uh oh.....
*runs around in panic*
TWILIGHT READS FINE PRINT!!!!!!!!!
TWILIGHT READS FINE PRINT!!!!!!!!!
I'm gonna miss Spoiled's tirades. You are good at writing angry ponies. Maybe it's how they never seem to end, which makes me wonder exactly how Spoiled is still in one piece. Especially since nopony likes her.
8307843
The penny will drop eventually...
Inevitably...
Surely?
8307830
Yep, you should ALWAYS read the fine print. Read this story to discover why.
I hate here so much!
OH COME ON!! YOU END THE CHAPTER LIKE THAT?!?!?!?!
Hmm doesn't work in a place were you have an absolute benevolent ruler that CAN pass judgment on the fairness of contracts. ANY kind of vessatory clause would just be thrown out, and if the clauses are REALLY illegible the contract is null. Additionally Diamond is NOT of legal age so her signature carries the value of a chicken scratch... in addition the signing in a PATENTLY emotionally charged status is simply invalid especially in front of a FRONKING PRINCESS of the realm...
8307875
The legal age in Equestria is highly open to interpretation in my mind, after all we're not dealing with Earth here and a similar situation hasn't cropped up in the show yet for us to judge that circumstance decisively.
Also, your points about the signing being in an emotionally charged situation and in front of a Princess are somewhat irrelevant in my opinion, or any confession eked out in a high pressure courtroom in front of an important judge could be stricken off the record, something which I think is unlikely to occur.
As for Celestia getting involved in proceedings... wait and see!
8307874
Sorry, I kind of like cliffhangers. It keeps the readers wanting more (most of the time). I foresee though, that they'll be less of them in the future as things settle down a bit... maybe.
Oof
Seriously though, good work and keep it up.
Why would you do this to us...
*insert relevent monty python reference here*
I am eager to see what is it that was illegible...
I sure enjoyed reading Twilight and Spoiled’s debate.
8307916
I say they send Spoiled to the knights who say “Neigh!” for a month or two.
8307986
That might be a bit of a red herring...
Which she would then have to chop down the tallest tree in the forest with
8307883
Nope the confession thing is a totally DIFFERENT issue, moreover the leading questions ARE ground for an objection in court. The issue here is about IF the parties are capable of entering contract, and the WHOLE thing runs on the LEGAL CUSTODY of Diamond Tiara... so if Diamond IS of age and CAN make binding signatures she can just give the metaphorical finger to Spoiled without any consequences otherwise her signature carries no value as she is under the tutelage of her legal guardian(s).
Moreover explicit bad faith in securing a signature on a contract, especially in front of an official, is totally ground for dismissal of a contract, and that is in places that went through a LOT of corrupt government, here we have a place where the final judge is immortal, has been there for a couple thousand years, directly receives petitions and is the legislative entity... Spoiled is fundamentally bullying a dragon, the whole legal system in Equestria runs on the Princesses... Actually and openly antagonizing one is NOT going to end well
8308015
Interesting analysis of the situation. Some of what you say may hold fruit in terms of Equestrian politics, but that's all for the future. Hope you continue to enjoy the story...
*Reads*...
Okay just So you know i am going to read this story on forward
but that was complete bullshit
and an arbitrary minus 1 to your grade to be added to your permanent record
...
lets see how messed up this story is gonna get
Oh by the way i do like this story ...but yeah NO
8308033
I seem to be getting mixed signals here...
anyway, I appreciate all comments and feedback no matter how good or bad, so thank you!
There should be a fanfic where Spoiled Bitch gets pummeled physically and socially or at least be banished to her personal hell where she can't get out and if she does, death should be considered a mercy that should never be granted to her.
Actually Twilight could null and void the contract because this is a deal between two parties on a somewhat civil case. Because this is a deal between Starlight and the Rich family, Starlight too, would have to sign to agree towards the custody of having Diamond for a month and to the terms of permanent custody. I know it is to create suspense, but that contract is still open for criticism and review until Starlight signs, making it, incomplete. Therefore, all of it was for not Miss Rich lost and Twilight can tear up the contract and have a new one made. But also from the sounds of it, if Miss Rich added something saying that even the highest athority has no say, I doubt there is a law stating that, which, if cannot be interprited, which it wasn't, that Celestia, Luna, or even Twilight cannot step in when necessary, is illegal. Its like selling illegal obtained weapons to the government and saying they cant due a background check because they signed an out of court paper. I love this story, I really do, but enough evudence has been shown to multiple witnesses that all Twilight would have to do would be call child protection give statements, and Miss Rich would be slapped with charges. Or Filthy could just go to court with divorce papers, show the evidence and testimonies, and would probably win the custody battle and he could make a much more simple agreement with Starlight. If I was Twilight one letter later and the guard would be there. Fuck this shit, here are your cuffs Miss Rich, enjoy the showers!
P.S. Even with the contract thatcwas signed, if it isn't legible, it can be scrapped and rewritten, and even if she has a copy of the contract in a bigger font, unless it has a copy of the signatures, it hold no weight. I come from a family of lawyers, even though I dont know much about law, I know enoigh to know that at anytime, Twilight can void this illegal document, even if Rich would win. If I wantex, I could have my family read this and have thme nitpick this for all things that make this a fluke.
...
Now I'm done...
8308015
Yeah, no matter what Rich does, its all corrupt and would not hold up in court. I have my statment below. Legally, it all means squat...
8308074 Gosh, I really have opened a giant size can of a worms with the premise to this fic, haven't I? If I had any idea of the legalistic arguments and counterarguments that would have emerged during writing it, I would've brushed up on my Phoenix Wright playthroughs (BTW, Wright is my actual surname. Coincidence?).
I can't say I know every single procedure for every single outcome perpetuated by this scenario, I'm just going with my own interpretation of how the situation could go to create the best possible drama. If, in the cold light of day I'm stretching credibility a tad, then it's purely for exciting narrative possibilities. I'm just trying to write the best story possible, within a framework the show hasn't really explored yet and using my own mind to explore how to make it as interesting as possible. Hope that's enough for you all...
8308010
Or Twilight could schedule a daily visit for Spoiled by the celestial inquisition that nopony expects.
8308084
Mate, it's perfectly fine. Who are we to judge Equestrian law? I'm no expert the law in my own justification, let alone that of a magical pony land running on some quasi-absolute/constitutional oligarchy.
8308094
*gasp* NO! Not the comfy chair!
Spoiled has dug herself a nice, cozy ditch for herself, all that remains is to see who will be the one to kick her in. Some people talk about Celestial catching wind of this and coming to rain solar fury on Spoiled's swollen head. I however, imagine Luna would be more appropriate. She loves foals, she's above Spoiled's verbal sparring, and she can ensure you will never sleep soundly as long as you live.
Meh. Every time Spoiled Rich opens her maw I can literally feel how my brain cells are dieing from nearly hearing the thick amount of arrogance, mock-innocence and stupidity in her voice.
Legal my plot.
8308160
Maybe so, maybe not. You can guarantee the lawfulness of the contract will be bought up again sooner or later, though. Nopony tries to get one over on Twilight...
8308084
Currently I think the the most glaring issue is about the validity of the signature of Diamond... IF the signature is valid, it means that she is an Adult and so the custody point becomes moot, if she IS not an adult then her signature is meaningless.
Spoiled requiring Diamond signature has ALREADY implied that Diamond can do whatever she wants. Both interpretation lead to the uselessness of the contract. Obviously unless the clauses are totally over there in regard to the issue at hand of the custody of Diamond Tiara...
"will be dealt with using the utmost care"
perpetrated, not perpetuated. Though, i suppose, since it's been years....
Is it bad I want Spoiled to die horribly at the claws of a manticore, or maybe turned to stone and used in a garden somewhere. Oooh how about Twilight sicks Discord on Spoiled for revenge. That would be great~
8308230
naa discord would be two good for her what she should do is sell her as a diamond dog slave i think she would go for half a bit
8308184
Those smaller clauses sure are interesting, aren't they. All will be revealed, soon enough.
8308230
8308242 I've created a monster, haven't I...
8308242
Even that is too high of a price. Just give her to them after removing her mouth. Use Discord for that and it will be perfect~
8308244
Also you have. I ammend you on making a pony be so hated. Awesome writing ^.^
8308244
no you havnt created a monster you just turn up her negitive qualities to 11000000000000000000000000000000.3
8308250
oh have her eat with her ass we dont want our little slave to starve do we
8308264
Well, we don't see much of her personality in the show proper, so I was just trying to fill in the blanks.
8308267
good job with that im really enjoying the story
Questions of the legality of the contract at this point aside, and it seems a good chunk of points have already been raised by it...
The contract can still be read which means we will get the information in those currently indecipherable passages, and even if there's some binding nature preventing anyone from telling Diamond and Starlight what those portions say, well we have people with the knowledge of law here clearly, as well as people who know how to find, use, and abuse loop holes.
In the end we might be better off playing Spoiled's game as it stands, because at least she'll feel the situation is under control. Where as if they had been spotted she may have gone to scheming something else, at least once we get those unknown portions out her plan will be revealed and a counter should be able to be arranged.
Plus with Spoiled's manipulations really only being good at goading she doesn't seem to know what can harm ones mental state. SO I suspect even with her additions all she has managed to truly create is a legal quagmire that can be fought in for some time.
She's not half as clever as she thinks she is.
Nice chapter but I might missed something here, at least this is the fifth story I'm reading right now because of the eight updates, so my concentration is maybe a bit low already. However it is always nice to get an update here.
IT SMELLS MUCH FISHYER IN HERE also the fish over there is looking at me weird
Twilight: SPIKE! Take a letter: 'Dear Princess Celestia, Is this contract legal? If it is not, please send the Royal Guard to arrest Spoiled Rich on charges of fraud and abuse of power.' Send that and the contract, Spike.
This is the point where Discord "accidentally" turns Spoiled and her contract into birdseed. Oh, no, they got eaten by all of Fluttershy's birds! Well, funeral time!
My guess on what those clauses entail. Fully accepting Starlight Glimmer as her mother with unconditional love and likely full surrender of her to Starlight Glimmer without visitation privileges to either Spoiled or Filthy if she does accept Starlight as her mother. Starlight might initially be thrilled at this but Diamond likely realizes this essentially forces her to choose between Starlight and Filthy. It would be a very unfair and cruel choice to have to put on Diamond that I could imagine Spoiled pulling. "Fine, you can get to know and love your birth mother Diamond.....but if you do you will lose the only person who you have had a true loving bond with to this point. So fine go ahead and choose which one you want to turn your back on."
Well Diamond, just ask Spike to breath fire on it, normal dragon fire. No contract, no legal binding framework. Though personally, if Spoiled puts that sort of agreement down, one could argue that if she keeps her word and divorces Filthy, an agreement that she admitted to having crafted mostly on her own would be null and void, and Filthy, Starlight, and Diamond would all be free to re-negoitate on more favorable terms. There, the perfect legal loophole that Spoiled didn't even consider.
Though, if some unforseen bad event were to befall Spoiled and she were to suddenly "disappear", I doubt anypony would notice.