Twilight, feeling a little out of place in this new home of hers, attends a winter get together with her friends. Between talk of this and that, she learns a bit about the traditions that helped shape her friends and the place they all call home.
Commission with apologies for tardiness to Multicruiseverse.
First. HI CYNE! *waves madly*
You may fire when ready. Also, a potential edit of note, although I am NOT AT ALL QUALIFIED to offer any:
Should that be "here"? I mean, it COULD be there, as in to her immediate right... well, eh. EH! I OFFERED!
ANYWAY. First, oh yes. First time at first ever. INTERWEBS BE PRAISED!
Nice story. As always. YAWN! Perfection is SO passe. Added to my favourites. HO-HUM!
- Wink wink, darling.
Woah! I completely forgot this was a thing!
I look forward to reading it after work tongiht!
The melancholy! The melancholy!
This was so good..
That's a massive break. You can just add a line of dashes if you need to you know.
Same with the other breaks, though I see you've added a star for them. The main thing is getting rid of all of those empty lines.
I know you're trying to not use a double quotation mark, but it's becoming more and more acceptable now. We'd've would be plenty fine. Even if you didn't want to use it, it should probably be we'd have, because that's what makes the sentence make sense.
This was nice. I think I'll really like this "universe" you've set the story in. Are there any links to other stories set here, because I don't really see anything in the groups...
A lovely bit of world-building, rich and atmospheric. Appropriate, given the cities it concerns itself with. Thank you for it.
Heresy. Fix it.
world's
Wow. That was... really good.
First off, I thoroughly enjoyed the way this was written, both the overall narrative and both Twi's and Dash's accounts of the different ways winter is wrapped up. Their stories really nailed the storytelling tone, and I felt as though I was sitting face to face with them across a table, drinking cider and swapping stories.
There's a charming simplicity to this story, and it's a breath of fresh air from the dark tension of the story I'm writing now. No danger, no threat, just friends reminiscing about good times together.
I suppose if I had to complain about something, it would be the very beginning. The double negative in the second sentence was a little off-putting, and the brief recap of Twi's first Winter Wrap Up in Ponyville felt like exposition that, while necessary, felt like a formality that had to be observed. I also found the tone during Twi's recap of Canterlot's Wrap Up a little off. Don't get me wrong, it's beautifully written, but it came off to me as the words of a person who intends to put on a show, like a performing poet or bard, almost rehearsed in a way, and not something said spontaneously from one friend to another over a cup of cider.
Anyway, those are my thoughts. Great work, and keep writing!
And not even a single mention of Fluttershy.
Just how it should be.
I was half expecting the sole chapter title to be "Turn, Turn, Turn":
...but, eh. Having it be the fic title again is fine. Better than "Chapter 1" for a complete story that has no other chapters.
"filled", presumably, though I suppose you could mean that they took files to the streets and removed their rough edges.
Glorious imagery. You made me wax poetic on telegram. About airplanes, but still. Sunrise at the airport is cool.
I like the setting, and I miss when it was like this. Thanks for posting this.
It's really cool to read such peotic differences in how the 3 tribes like to handle the coming of Spring! ^_^
8155222
It's a rare thing indeed, that Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 could become a popular song simply by adding the word "turn" and some music.
The book of Ecclesiastes is not a cheerful one, when all is considered. I suspect King Solomon wrote it as a grumpy old man.
Being far from home can be hard, even when you don't particularly like "home".
Even when your new home is your home more than your old home ever was, the place you lived in your childhood will always hold a place in your heart.
Nice story. Thanks for the feels.
Heh. You too? Multiversecruise is a good sport about it, though.
Consider this bookmarked for the next time I'm not distracted by family!
As I've never been one for ceremony Twilight's nostalgia didn't hook me at first, but it is certainly a fitting celebration and tradition for a (snobbish, haha) unicorn city like Canterlot.
Rainbow's tale of a Cloudsdale winter, though? Mm... I'll be haunted tonight, I'm sure, by pleasant half-dreams of this sky-wide picnic upon an archipelago of clouds, dotted with smiling faces and lamplight stars. What a beautiful thought.
Once again, I stumble across another gem (I wish I had a better word for this 'gem' has been ruined by memery, but that's beside the point) of yours that had slipped into the cracks. I admit, I wasn't sure how 'strong' this would rank for me on your list of works due to the opening not really digging in (Don't get me wrong, you did a fine job with the first scene, but it's one I feel I've read several times. But, it was a scene that was needed, so no points docked for my pickiness).
However, once the tales and cider started being passed around, I became absorbed. Twilight's and (especially) Rainbow's tales of wrapping up winter have more quality world-building in a few paragraphs than many fics can fit into hundreds of thousands of words. The tale of Cloudsdale in Winter was done so well that I found myself longing for another cup of coffee just to warm up. There's an atmosphere and 'human' element to the world building here that makes it click very well.
But, yeah, another great tale, Cyne! One of these days, I'll trudge through all the fics of yours I missed out on due to work and school, and if they're all around this level of quality, it'll be a fun ride!
Read this months ago but neglected to write a review.
This was a nice cozy story. It was neat hearing about Winter Wrap Up in the other cities.