“Pure Chaos? Now there’s a joke if ever I heard one. No no no listen. I am the unexpected. I am disharmony. I am that one piece of spaghetti that refuses to stay on the fork. I am, and always will be, Discord. Oh, it's true that I may enjoy chaos... Oh, who am I kidding? I love the stuff. But I am not chaos itself. What you see before you, however... Now that is pure chaos"
If you think this is just your average HIE then think again. With only the thoughts of getting back home our lost human will have to get to grips with the world around her, just as the world struggles with getting to grips with her.
Chapters (10)
......... The human took a step and could not be seen.... ok the end confused me a bit.
hehe expect that quite a bit, don't worry though it is all planned out and makes complete sense. Oh also this is the only part that will be written in first person but I wanted to set the scene with the human as the main focus for this first chapter, especially as she will not be appearing for at least the next two chapters.
So her house is disguised as a bramble of thorns?
Either way great story having your human being actively unnerved by the ponies acting human I felt was a nice touch but having her house there is slightly odd
Cool cant wait for the next update
I know I would be freaked out seeing any animal other then primates acting human. As for her house, well it is more of an apartment/flat, well most of her apartment/flat anyway. Lets just say how she got to Equestria is rather original but i wanted to leave all the explaining about that till later chapters so you will be just as confused as the Ponies when they find it.
Oh boy did this take a while to write though that is mostly down to Zecora and her manner of speech. Sorry this story is going to go so slow for the first few chapters, it should pick up come four and five. I have also added one of my favorite quotes from much later in the story to the main page - hope you like it as much as I do.
Cool
Well this took longer to type out then I thought it would but I like how it turned out. I have to admit I was a little scared when it came to writing about and for three of the mane cast just because everyone knows them so well and I don't want to get them wrong. Please please tell me if I slipped up. Next chapter should be a lot of fun as the ponies get to hunt down our little troll/human.
... Great. Now they think hes a troll. Well he might be, but not that kind of troll.
Well with all the mythical animals in Equestria i guessed that Trolls were likely and thus a pretty close match to us humans. After all if we have our horses and ponies why not Troll as our equivalent in Equestria. Don't worry though it should not be too hard for our human to convince the girls that its not a Troll...most of them anyway.
I think they will meet a troll all right...
No. Worse, it's a human.
That thing that Zecora made with the powder, is it some sort of powder bomb, intended to blind an adversary?
Great chapter, and I wonder just who it is that is talking to the human. After all, I thought that she was alone.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/discord.png
Well we can't expect our favorite Zebra not to be able to defend herself. As for our Human's conversation buddy...all shall be reviled at some point.
Well now Alice is going to have to MAKE them leave.
Hehe I'm finding Pinkie Pie a lot of fun to write for. Oh and if you are wondering what the banging was near the end of the scene, Alice was banging her head against the wall in a last ditch effort to try and come up with some way out of this 'situation'. Surprise surprise it didn't work.
Still at least our human now has a name so that is one question that has been answered. Anyone got any ideas on what else is going on yet?
I will put this on my read later list.
Trespassing and assault. Way to go, Elements of Harmony!
wut
The way you write is a little different... it's not necessarily bad, but sometimes it seem you should describe less in the narrative and more in the talk. But other than that, this is great. Will follow, follow very hard and close, do moar!!
1104743 I am glad my writing style has not put you off. English is not something something that I find easy (though it is the only language I know). However, as I am long out of education, I find writing fanfiction helps to keep me both in practice and improving. I found this chapter especially hard to write with so many characters to juggle. Hopefully I pulled it off as well as keeping everyone behaving realistically. (Plus I posted this before Stereo_Sub was given a chance to edit it, I just wanted to get it out for people to read)
I really liked this chapter, it continues to be a good story.
While the chapter was good, I did however notice some minor mistakes.
I think that you meant to write "none" and accidentally forgot to add the "e" to the end.
I also noticed two or three instances in which you confused "then" for "than" Just a reminder, "then" refers to time: This then that. "Than" pertains to a comparison: Bronies like ponies more than non-Bronies.
I hope this helps, and keep up the good work.
Trolls are complete glutens? Well, I guess my allergies prevent me from eating them
1105647
You did well, i think there where no problems with understanding who was doing what, when or where. Maybe a little when Aj and Dash where going into doors and seeing the gore, but nothing really important.
Also, as for discord, i'm curious to see what you're gonna do with him in the story, i have seen many good stories going bad because there had to be the nightmare, or discord, or THE EVIL!!!1 thing to move the plot. But i would bet that you can pull it off without making something stupid, you seem to know what you're doing.
1106907, Thanks, I will fix them up right away.
1108340, The plot will move forward; the driving force however? Well that is going to be fun
. Worry not, nothing is going to be forced into the story just to get some action or put people/ponies in danger. This story, surprisingly, already has an end almost completely written out so, thankfully, it will not just peter out into a winding narrative without direction.
1049762
Humans are the worst trolls. Ever.
1106997, The joys of spellcheck when you can't spell
So the question is, is this an alternate version of Alice in wonderland? Seriously, this is confusing
.
1110874 Now that is a question I can answer - no. I did choose 'Alice' because of the story Alice in wonderland but that is mainly because it gives me access to fun lines in later chapters and it was better then just clicking on a random name generator.
As for all the confusing things that have happened thus far, I think a few of them get answered in chapters eight and nine though you are all free to take guesses as to whats going on - I have given lots of clues so far
1110985 My next question is- Is Alice a troll. Is she the trolliest troll of them all?
1111011 Well that is both a yes and a no. The way things worked out in this version on the world is that magic, and those that could use magic, advanced faster then those that couldn't, so trolls in Equestria really are just a different branch of humans and visa versa. It was actually 'Gulliver's Travels' that originally inspired me for this story (though other then the bare bones it has nothing to do with it).
When Gulliver reached the country of the Houyhnhnms (sentient horses) he was confronted with Yahoos - humans in their base forms; creatures who only lived for the three 'Fs' (food, fighting and...) and were always filthy because they spent their days digging out diamonds from the ground.
1111069 Let me rephrase that... Is Alice a troll. Of the internet breed?
1111078
how could you think such a thing. Unfortunately poor little Alice really is stuck, lost and completely confused - no acting on her part at all. Her slightly 'cook-coo' moments can mainly be be chalked up to being on her own in a fantasy world for the past nine months.
1111104 True....Unfortunate though, I was looking forward to the humour...
1111115 Hehe just keep reading, Discord is actually a very big part in this story...in an unusual way.
1111125 OH GOD, HE'S GOING TO BE ALICE'S MAID!?!?!?!?!?
1111133 And now I am not going to be able to get the image of Discord in a French maid's outfit out of my head.
edit: never mind its already been done: He seems to like it to
1111143 Well, I suppose to be fair it wouldn't be too out of character for him
stalking timeencrypted-tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcStGgWPIVWZ9TMLc3dX4JH6h_B3PoMhKZGwXgEt0krL_nsXMMP8XA
1108554 That they are.
1108541 You're welcome. Glad to hear it.
You have no idea how much fun I had writing this
Go on, how many of you saw Celestia and Discord in the same chapter and thought I was going to go there
Interesting.... Very interesting. I'm curious what Tia will find when she gets to the disaster capital of Equestria.
Also, that's a take on Dislestia that I haven't seen before.
1118532 is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Hmmm... I'm guessing Celestia is going to find a mentally unwell human?
1118553 Good, I guess? It's definitely hinting at a more complex relationship than the usual marriage/special someone/familial bond that are the staple of stories where Discord and Celestia know each other better than just having fought a major war in the past.
Being different is never a bad thing in writing, as long as the readers can still follow you and aren't going "wtf just happen? imma go way nao."
And I'm still here, but I dunno if I count as part of the masses.
Well my curiosity has certainly been piqued, do continue please.
Interesting and great chapter.
1118966 I wanted to try and strike a bit of a love/hate relationship between the two, without any romance. It is not something I have seen really done much. The way I look at it (and without spoiling anything for future reveals) Both Celestia and Discord are very, very old - and Celestia has very few she can turn to when things get a little...much for her.