After hearing about the adventures of her former student, Princess Celestia invites Sunset Shimmer back to Equestria for a reunion. However, Sunset is less than ecstatic about the news, and turns down the offer every time. Her friends don't understand, and Sunset isn't willing to explain why.
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I sadly had to dislike this story. The ending was way to depressing
I regret reading this story.
The writing isn't bad. I enjoy the idea of Sunset actually being from the human world, not Equestria. But not like this! Heck, even the whole 'Sunset murdered her twin trope' is downright messed up.
Sorry if I sound a bit too harsh, but I expected something different. Anyways, I hope your future works to be more interesting.
I'm sorry, but this just won't do. It's not that it's badly written, but the ending and how the characters react to Sunset is.
Sunset being the human version isn't bad, and while the idea of her killing pony Sunset isn't something to cheer, there can be a good story to come out of it. The problem is still the ending and the characters. Applejack is the only one to act responsibly and sensibly. It's not like this Sunset killed pony Sunset sometimes during the events of anything involving Equestria Girls; she's been there since when she stole Twilight's crown.
This is the girl they befriended, the one who earned her own redemption as we saw in Rainbow Rocks, the one who came full circle/ in Friendship Games, and the comforting friend in Legend of Everfree. They should all know she is their friend and has been true with them, even if she did keep the fact she did murder pony Sunset before they all came together.
And that's what really makes this bad. They all act like they replaced their friend sometime in the middle, but it's not. It might be a bit more understandable if that had been the case, but it's not. Princess Celestia is not someone who would just summon the guard to arrest Sunset just because she saw she wasn't her Sunset. She would have been confused but would have spoken with her calmly. She asked Fluttershy to help reform Discord so she would have been willing to hear Sunset out. There was no reason for her to put Sunset under guard and arrest her before Sunset even came out about what happened.
Princess Twilight and Starlight are also acting badly, as this is the Sunset they have known only and instantly hate her for this secret. Yes, it is bad and maybe there should be consequences, but they toss her aside like it was nothing. The very way they act and the descriptions about Sunset give them a very racist outlook against humans. Princess Twilight has always been understanding and Starlight said earlier she knows what it's like to have done unforgivable things, yet those qualities to their characters mean nothing here, apparently.
And with the exception of Applejack, Sunset's human friends are portrayed poorly. They go against who they are and even with all Sunset has done, that means nothing just because of this secret. It is bad and does paint her in a new light, but she clearly regrets it and is willing to finally atone. She is portrayed as just a one dimensional villain in their eyes and that is wrong.
This ending, the way they act around Sunset now, it ruins everything there is about Sunset and the Equestria Girls line. This ending makes all of that moot and pointless. It's gonna be weighing heavily on me for a long while to come and not in a good way.
The sad thing is, this story could have worked if the characters had been handled better. If everyone had taken this naturally, treated Sunset as someone willing to atone and seek forgiveness, this could have worked. Yes, they all would have needed time to come to terms with this, but this Sunset is still their friend, not an impostor in that regard. This could have been a great story about redemption for Sunset killing pony Sunset and proving herself to be their true friend, but no. We got a bad ending and poor characterization just because.
There's nothing wrong with sad endings, I've enjoyed quite a few stories that have had them. But this sad ending isn't earned, it's just there to be sad when it completely insults everything about Sunset and the rest of the characters. It's just a spit in the face.
Your writing style is fine, but your plotting and characterization need work.
Huh, the last couple chapters have been taken off. If you're thinking on redoing the ending, I wish you luck. You do have an interesting premise and I hope you do well if that's what you're planning. I'll be keeping an eye out.
interesting......definitely got my attention. I wasn't expecting this ending to the chapter
This story almost brought a tear to my eye... but Sunset killing Sunset was pretty messed up
I don't get these people. They're mad Sunset pretended to be someone else. They're mad she lied to them about who she was. They're mad she didn't trust them enough to tell them the truth. They think all their memories together were lies. (Didn't she say herself she pretended to be the other Sunset so she could have that friendship? Why would they think she'd lie about those things? She wanted friendship, she got friendship, she wouldn't lie about her friendship. End of story.) But not one of them is mad abut her killing someone! That hardly seems realistic!
"Shutter Fly"...????
"Sunset was happy when it was just her and Fluttery Shy at the animal shelter, alone."
First, "Shutter Fly", and now THIS?!?!
"Fluttery Shy never said much and the animals,"
Dude, it's Fluttershy. XD
"well, if they did, only Fluttershy could understand."
Oh. Never mind, then. XD
"Ceslestia"
*Celestia
9069836
As tonally different as it is from the show, regular humans finding Equestrian magic and almost immediately doing horrible things because of it is basically half the plot of EG (although usually it's with the magic too)
I'm.. So confuse now..