• Published 18th Aug 2017
  • 748 Views, 61 Comments

In My Head - SprocketProductions



A transgender mare deals with the inhospitable society that houses all ponies.

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Burning Out

I look at the progress I've recorded on my current game development project, and it's not great. I just haven't been motivated lately, the inspiration isn't coming to me. I sigh as I open the open source image software choice of the day and stare at a blank project for an unknown amount of time. Have I been starring for seconds, or hours? I'm really not sure. Suddenly, my phone rings, breaking me out of my trance. When I levitate it into view, I see Aurora's name on the caller ID.

"Hey Aria, how are you?" The chipper voice of my friend calls into my ear.

I sigh and let out an emotionless, "I'm alright."

"Wanna come and visit the cafe and hang out?" She suggests.

I blink and make a face as if Aurora can see me, "Is that allowed?"

"Well, I don't see anything in the rulebook saying I can't socialize with customers I happen to know." She giggles slightly.

I shake my head, again, not considering the fact that my friend can't see me, "You know I'm broke."

"I'll cover your tab!" She enthusiastically blurts the words out.

I let out a soft chuckle, "You're really trying to get this to work, aren't you?"

"Come see me, I'm bored! The cafe is dead right now!" She nagged.

I sighed again, "Do you suggest I walk?"

"You've been working on that truck for months!" She exclaims.

I groan, "It doesn't even have a battery!"

"Fine, I can call you a hoofer." The mare relents.

I raise an eyebrow, "A what now?"

"Basically a taxi through the internet, see you in a little bit!" She hangs up enthusiastically.

Before meeting Aurora, I was honestly unaware of the concept of hanging up a phone enthusiastically, especially to the extent that the other pony on the phone can feel the positivity even as the call ends, but Aurora is an impressively upbeat pony. I step outside my house and stand around, looking around and feeling dumb. I don't know if I need to be doing anything, or how I need to be presenting myself, but I assume a hoofer just drives up and picks up passengers.

Sure enough, a sedan drives up and the window rolls down, revealing a Stallion, "Hoofer for Aria?"

I nod as I awkwardly walk up and get in the car. As we start to set off, my processes seem to go haywire. I don't know this pony, I don't even know their name. Why did I just step into their car? Is something going to happen to me? Am I about to-

"Is this your first time riding with hoofer?" Asks the driver.

I look at the stallion's eyes through the rear view mirror, "I-I... umm..."

"I'll take that as a yes." He flashes me a warm smile, putting me at ease.

I nod in response.

"What's your name?" He asks, casually.

I start to relax a little more and let out a squeak that sounds like my name, "Aria..."

"It's nice to meet you, Aria. I'm Watcher." He chuckles, taking another glance at my blushing face.

I stutter a bit, "H-how long..."

"How long have I been driving for hoofer? About three months now, it's not a lot, but it gets me a little bit of income on the side." He kindly responds.

We pull up to the cafe, and Watcher levitates a card with his name and phone number on it, "I'm not supposed to give these out on the job, but you're really cute, and I was wondering if you want to maybe get coffee sometime."

"M-maybe." I gently take the card and stuff it in my hoodie pocket.

Aurora raises an eyebrow at me as I walk into the cafe, "Aria, do my eyes deceive me? Were you hitting on that stallion who drove you?"

"I didn't mean to!" I frantically declare.

She laughs, "It's okay, I'm glad you're at least making an effort now. And look at that, you even got his number."

"His name is Watcher. He seems nice and all, but I don't know him at all, aside from that he's a hoofer driver." I fiddle with the card in my pocket, using my magic.

She makes eye contact, "You know the best way to get to know somepony who just asked you out?"

"Aurora, no. I know what you're thinking. Please don't." I plead as she steps out from behind the counter and makes her way to the front door, knocking on the window of the stallion starring at his phone, likely for another passenger.

I look down at the extremely clean floor, "Why are you like this?"

Aurora and Watcher walk in, and watcher sits down at a table near the front window. Aurora nudges me slightly, and I just stare. My friend just screwed me over, I can't handle social situations, not yet. This isn't what I'm cut out for. Somepony help me, I need an adult! I feel a small piece of paper hit me from the left side, and I look up and realize Aurora has blown the wrapping from a straw at me.

"Sit with him!" She eagerly mouths at me.

I roll my eyes, muttering to myself about how much of a desperate shipper my friend is as I make my way to the table. When I sit down, I make direct eye contact and exchange smiles with Watcher. He has deep blue eyes I could just get lost in if I looked for too long.

He scratches the back of his head with his hoof awkwardly, "Have you ever done this before? Because I sure haven't."

"Oh, good, so there's no way I can screw this up any worse than your other dates." I giggle slightly.

He smiles again, a wonderful, glowing smile, "You're doing fine so far."

"It's just a happy accident, I have no idea what I'm doing." I sigh.

He lets out a laugh, "Well, tell me about yourself, Aria."

"Well, I have no idea where to start..." I look at Aurora, whose gaze is intently set on the two of us, "I'm trans..."

He looks at me thoughtfully, "That's actually really surprising, your transition is going really well, unless of course you're trans male."

"Oh you're just being nice, I haven't even started my transition, there isn't a speck of femininity in my looks." I push off his compliment.

He shakes his head, "No ma'am, you could've fooled me, I thought you were physically female when you stepped into my car."

"It's true, you do look pretty cute, here, have coffees, on me." Aurora sets cups on saucers on our table casually.

"Thank you, miss." Watcher cordially nods at my friend, as she walks back to the kitchen of the restaurant.

I make eye contact with the stallion again, "I'm also an indie game designer."

"Seriously!? I love games!" His eyes widen in surprise.

I let a smile peak on the corners of my mouth, the first genuine one I've had in a long time, "So what do you do aside from hoofer?"

"I'm a freelance author, and my first official book just hit store shelves early this month. It's a little romance about two ponies who sometimes switch lives." He acts as if his publication is no big deal.

My eyebrows raise almost involuntarily, "Your Acquaintance? I just finished that book last week, I loved it!"

We talk and talk late into the afternoon, all the while, Aurora keeps an eye on us when she can. She still stays attendant to customers, mind you, she doesn't set out to get fired.

"So what's the next step in your game's story?" Watcher utters the dreaded question relating to my game design.

I sigh as I look out the window, "I don't know. I'm not really feeling that motivated to continue, I guess."

"Well, I love what you're doing so far, and it seems like positive reinforcement is helpful whether it gets rid of your writer's block or not." He replies.

I look back at him, "I really like you."

"I really like you too." He smiles warmly again.

Aurora, cleaning off a table calls to us, "Well don't stop there!"

"I think I love you." I giggle as I half give into the pressure of my friend and half admit my first real positive feeling towards somepony else in a while.

He makes eye contact with me, "Wanna do this again sometime?"

"I wanna do this again all the time." I say softly.

He chuckles, "I like that idea."

We both get closer in on the table and lean towards each other for a kiss. Unfortunately, the wideness of the table doesn't permit our actions, and we each awkwardly lean back into natural positions. Perhaps this isn't the most ideal location for this moment.

"Do you want me to run you home?" He asks me, calmly.

I smile at him, "Can you stay there with me for a little?"

"Of course I can." He stands up from his seat.

On the way home, a question occurs to me, "So are we official?"

"Oh definitely, yes." He confirms.

I begin to feel nauseous as I think about the potential reaction from my parents, "One more thing though..."

"What is it?" He asks.

I resist crying, "My parents don't know I'm trans, so we'll have to act like just friends around them."

"That's okay, we can seem completely platonic around them. No big deal." He picks up on the tone in my voice.

I breathe a sigh of relief as we pull into the driveway and next to the shed. We get out and walk to the doors.

He looks at me, "Okay, let's try this again... I love you."

"I love you too." I reply, getting hopelessly lost in his eyes.

We lean in closely and I feel our lips connect. I reel back afterwards to look at his face again. It's not until now that I realize he smells faintly like roses, a scent I've always enjoyed. I back up and open the doors of the shed and levitate my tools out, knowing that the moment is soon to be ruined anyway.

Speak of Cerberus, my dad walks out of the house and to us, "Made a new friend I see, what's his name?"

"I'm Watcher, an indie author he met up with today." He looks at my dad.

My dad smiles approvingly, "You're the one who wrote that romance Aria likes so much."

"That's the one." Watcher casually confirms.

The two make eye contact, "Maybe you can help him out with his game story, he's been struggling a lot lately with it."

"We were just talking about that, yeah." Watcher informs.

He nods to Watcher, "Then I'll leave you to that. Hope you come up with something soon."

"He doesn't seem so bad." Watcher says as my dad enters the house.

I tighten the last spark plug, "He's not, it's just that one anti-me part that gets me. He seems to feel like straight and in the right body are the only ways ponies can be."

"Has he been told otherwise?" Asks the stallion.

I shrug, "Not by me, I don't know about others though. I've seen him criticizing trans ponies that appear in the media thought. I just feel like it's best that he doesn't know for now."

"He has to find out eventually." Watcher points out.

I sigh, "I know, but I'm waiting until I'm not living with them anymore. I don't want to practically live in Tartarus, and that's how it would be if he found out."

"Okay." Watcher relents, helping me put my tools away.

I open the door and retrieve my car battery, placing it in the compartment in the hood and tightening the terminals on it. I get in the driver's seat and turn the key, internally praying to Celestia that it'll finally start. Unsurprisingly, the vehicle doesn't make much of a sound. I open my eyes, noticing that the fuel gauge is showing an empty tank.

I look at Watcher, "Do you think we could get my gas can filled?"

He shrugs, "I don't see why not."

I picked up my gas can and proceeded to my emergency money stash in the old safe, grabbing enough for gas. We proceeded to the nearest station, where I filled up the can.

"You know, you could come live with me, then you'd be away from your parents." Watcher suggested.

I smiled softly at him, "I just met you, let's give it some time before I move in with you, okay?"

"That's understandable, but I just really wanna help, you know?" He said.

I capped the gas can, "Thank you, Watcher, if it's meant to be, we'll live together soon, I promise."

"That's good enough for me." We proceeded into the convenience store where I paid for the gas.

When I fueled up the truck, it took a few tries, but I managed to get it to start, finally. Watcher bid me farewell for the night, and went on home, leaving me to my parents. The day had helped me a lot, I had ideas like I once did again. Overall, things seem to be improving some.

Author's Note:

I'm so sorry I took so long with this one, I was just so unmotivated on writing for this long, and when I've had ideas and inspiration, I've just been so busy.

Because I've been out of it, this chapter is just a simple idea I came up with, but I think it turned out nice.

Comments ( 7 )

Aw, now that's adorable. Can't wait to see where this goes. (instantly follows)

Very nice chapter looking forward to more of it soon. I am especially curious about how Aria and Watcher's relationship develops.

Are you gonna continue the story? :applecry:

9445217
I've been having a lot of issues emotionally lately, it's been pretty difficult to find the motivation to write more fanfiction

8396968
Lol, you sound mentally unwell my friend.

8396968
Pot calling the kettle black

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