Songs of the Spheres

by GMBlackjack

032 - The Comedians

Corona waved goodbye to Twilight Sparkle, trotting out the front doors of her castle and into the Ponyville of Equis Vitis, the once-tiny town that was now the largest hub for interdimensional activity besides the Hub itself. The vast majority of denizens were still ponies – but this majority consisted largely of alternate ponies. As Corona walked down Main Street, she even saw a version of herself with an eyepatch and the most pirate-y hat Corona could imagine. She saw three different Fluttershys walking together, and a pegasus-Celestia perched on top of a nearby hotel.

The three Fluttershys noticed Corona. “Oh. My. God. Butterbun, do you think that’s the Sunset Shimmer?”

“You mean Corona?” another Fluttershy – maybe Butterbun – said.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” The first Fluttershy walked up to Corona. “Hey! You’re her, right!? I know you heard us!”

“Uh, yeah,” Corona said, smiling awkwardly. “Who’s asking?”

“I am Shyron, this is Butterbun, and that is… Uh…”

“I’m going by Fuc-“

Shyron put a hoof over her counterpart’s mouth. “Er… She’s F U, if you catch my drift.”

Corona raised an eyebrow. “You sure you want to keep that name? It’ll stick and-“

“Fuck you.”

Shyron hit FU across the head. “Please please please excuse her, she has a profanity issue.”

“No, shit, really?” FU deadpanned.

Corona smiled. “It’s fine. You should find Alushy, you might get along.”

“Fuck her.”

“Oooooor not,” Corona said, shrugging. “What did you want me for anyway, Shyron?”

“Well, it’s just… I want to know what it’s like. To operate outside the law.”

“…What?”

“Oh, you know, you’re friends with Sombra, everypony knows you’re working on devices that not everypony approves on, that kind of thing! What’s it feel like to have that freedom?”

Corona blinked. “I’d… Not thought about it like that before. If I had to give an answer it’d be… Stressful. Probably not worth it, but I am where I am and I’m sticking to it.”

“Huh,” Butterbun said. “I was expecting something more… startled.”

Corona smirked. “I’ve been around too many worlds to be all that surprised when somepony makes me think of things a different way. This is just Tuesday.”

Shyron put a hoof to her chin. “Well, I’d ask what that’s like, but I experience Tuesdays too, so… Yeah.” She pulled a piece of paper out of her bag. “Can I have your autograph?”

Corona rolled her eyes, scribbling a signature for Shyron.

“Thank you!” Shyron squeed, hugging the signature close. “Oh, oh, oh, while I have you here, I have more questions!”

FU sneered. “I can think of a few as well. What’s your romance life like? I’d love to hear you explain that one calmly.”

“Girls, leave the poor unicorn alone,” a new voice said – one of a Starlight, Corona knew. The tone of the voice wasn’t right for Nova though, so it might as well have been anypony. Corona and the three Fluttershys examined the newcomer – a Starlight that was slightly taller than most others and with a slightly sharper horn. Her gaze was soft and kind, but firm and deep. She wore a black and white collar around her neck, under which a cross-shaped necklace hung.

“Reverend?” Butterbun said, cocking her head. “…I thought you had a service right now?”

“Guest speaker,” the Reverend said. She opened her mouth to talk further, but was interrupted by FU.

“No! No you don’t get to talk, you fu-”

Shyron hit FU upside the head again. “Sorry Rev! Real Sorry! We’ll go, give her some space! Come on girls…” She dragged FU away by the back of her mane. Butterbun shrugged and followed after.

Corona blinked, turning to the Reverend. “Thanks. Why though?”

“Saw you needed help,” she responded. She extended a hoof. “I’m Reverend Starlight Glimmer, but everyone just calls me Rev, or the Reverend if they’re trying to be professional. I run the church over there.”

Corona glanced behind Rev. “Ponyville has a church? Since when?”

“Since a month or two ago, when I moved here.”

“Huh. How’s that going for you?”

Rev smiled. “Well. You ponies are really accepting, even if it is hard to understand how everything applies to us in this multiversal age.”

“Good luck explaining it all.”

“I try my best. You could drop by for a service if you wanted, but I don’t think you’ll do that right now.”

Corona rubbed the back of her head. “Yeah, not really my thing. Sorry.”

Rev shrugged. “Don’t be. Everypony has their own path. I’ll see you around town, though, I hope?”

“I come here somewhat often… Yeah, you probably will.”

Rev smiled. “What good news. Anyway, I’ve delayed you long enough, surely you have somewhere to be.”

“Yep. Secret science stuff in a far away universe.”

Rev waved Corona on. Corona shrugged, pulling out her new and improved dimensional device – a gray sphere with intricate red runes etched all over it, infused with magic. It wasn’t a perfect replication of what Rick had done during Majora’s attack, but it was close. She activated it, tapping into a dimension that couldn’t be accessed directly from Equis Vitis. The device shot out a red ring of energy that tore a hole in space to another universe, and then a hole in the next universe, and a hole in the next – compressing the three red rings of energy into a single one. A dark, mechanical world could be seen through the portal.

Corona winked at Rev for effect and leaped through the opening, landing on the metal with a loud clang. She waved back at Ponyville while the red rings vanished with a pop.

The world she was in was small – she was almost positive that this one room was all that existed. It was the size of a football field, yes, but that was still a tiny size for a universe. The shape was perfectly circular, the gravity was slightly above normal, and a tremendous metal pillar covered in levers and buttons sat in the center. Otherwise, the round room was featureless besides the occasional dent in the metal floor, ceiling, or walls.

Sparky was standing next to the pillar, poking it with a multimeter of her own invention, trying to get any reading on it at all.

“Anything new?” Corona asked.

Sparky shrugged. “Nothing. I can tell you it’s metallic and also an insulator. Oh, and that the entire room is made of the same stuff. I have no clue about the atomic structure – if it even has an atomic structure. For all I know this universe doesn’t have atoms!”

Corona frowned. “We’re still made of atoms, right? Then it’s probably not the case. We’d be converted if it was.”

“Right… So many ambiguous rules…” Sparky muttered, pulling out a magical probing crystal and trying to scratch the column to no effect. “So, how’d Twilight react?”

“As excited as you were at the ceremony, except more condensed for time,” Corona said. “She had quite the smile. She even phoned Pinkie to plan a big party.”

Sparky smirked. “I am so there. And so are the girls.”

“Eh. It… Doesn’t feel like a big deal to me. I’m sure the party will be great, but… It’s just a piece of paper.”

“I want to see it again. Please?”

Corona rolled her eyes, summoning a piece of paper with her magic. She showed it to Sparky.

Wolfe University

awards the Graduate Certificate of

Bachelor of Science in Physics

to

Corona Sunset Shimmer

Sparky squeed. “So… monumental…”

“You’ll get yours eventually,” Corona said, shaking her head. “Just be patient.”

“How are you not flipping out in excitement right now?”

Corona shrugged. “I dunno. I’m not done studying – that Equis Cosmic program will be opening soon, and I’m going to be there. Or maybe it’s just that this piece of paper doesn’t mean much off of one of the Earths. I learned a lot there, and I’m very thankful for it, don’t get me wrong, it just… Seems small compared to all the stuff we’ve dealt with. I’m more proud of living as a unicorn for a semester than getting this piece of paper.”

“Ack! The apathy is destroying my very soul, Corona!”

“Hey, the paper doesn’t help us understand what this place is.”

“The degree represents the journey you’ve completed! Use the reasoning you’ve accumulated to deduce what this place is!”

Corona put a hoof on the metallic center of the entire universe. “…I think this universe is probably artificial, created by beings we can’t understand. Other than that I have no idea. But that’s why we’re here. What’s the next test?”

“Exposure to fire to see what happens?”

“We’re not going about this very scientifically.”

“Everything else has been inconclusive.”

“Wow, I feel sorry for you two dweebs.”

Corona and Sparky looked up to see a third individual in the room – a gray-skinned orange-horned humanoid in an orange outfit. Corona raised an eyebrow. “…Vriska, is it?”

Vriska snapped her fingers. “Righty-o! Vriska’s the name, crashing romantic science is my game.”

Corona stared at Vriska blankly. Sparky broke out into laughter.

Vriska put a hand to her forehead. “Oh, great, you’re one of the pairs who aren’t together. All right, which ones are you? I’ve clearly met you before…”

“No, actually,” Corona said. “I’ve just heard about you. You met Charter-Twilight. I’m Corona, and this is Sparky.”

Vriska pondered this. “Oh, so I’m back in this neighborhood? Huh, I wasn’t expecting to be back this soon… Heh. Guess this place just can’t get enough of me!”

Sparky rolled her eyes. “Riiiiiiight.”

Corona pointed at Vriska and smiled. “So, you feel sorry for us, do you? Mind telling us what this thing is?”

“Eh, usually I’m not big on spilling the beans, but I’m feeling generous today - so unlike me, I know, hold your gasps in, please.” She placed her hand on the central pole. “You’ve found yourselves a leyline universe.”

“A what?”

“Notice how you have difficulty forging direct connections between most universes?”

“Yeah. You can get to A from B and C from B but not A from C.”

“Well, it’d be even more convoluted without these things. They’re part of the reason there are so many connections. They connect to millions of universes, and because they have so many connections, other universes got more, creating a denser web. At least around here.”

“Who made them? There’s more than one? How can we use it?”

Vriska rolled her eyes. “I have to keep some secrets. Though I don’t know who made them. Not sure anybody does.” She placed a fingernail into a dent in the central rod. “Hrm… This one’s got a dent in it…”

Her nail punctured through the buckled metal. Vriska blinked. “…Huh. I half expected it to break and explo-“

It broke and exploded. The column blew outward, peeling the top and bottom halves of the central structure like two razor-sharp bananas. The shockwave blew Sparky and Corona back, but Vriska stood firm, looking curiously at the revealed interior of the leyline universe. It was a shifting ball of white energy with five slowly moving tendrils. A dot at the edge of each tendril flashed with a bright color – purple, pink, yellow, white, and a bluish color. The bluish color twitched unnaturally, lashing as if in agony.

Corona grabbed onto Vriska with her magic. “Come on Vriska! It’s dangerous!”

Vriska luckily twisted out of Corona’s telekinesis, landing back in front of the glowing sphere. She grinned. “That’s the point, sunny. It’s dangerous, so it’s going to be fun!”

The fifth, angry light shifted color to a pale green. The green color instantly flew off the tendril, leaving only the white tendril, a strangely naked burst of energy. The other four tendrils began to spin like a propeller, creating a rainbow while the naked tendril stood still.

Then the tendril spiked Vriska through the skull, and she saw colors.

The next things she knew she was somewhere else, lying on her back at the edge of some version of the Everfree Forest. There was a Pinkie Pie standing over her.

“Ugh… I was expecting somewhere interesting…” Vriska muttered.

The Pinkie shrugged. “That’s just the way life is sometimes, broo. Sometimes you want something interesting and get a magical land of colorful ponies. Sometimes you want to summon a powerful demon and get some gray chick instead. Just the way life is…”

Vriska blinked. “What was that part about summoning demons?”

“Oh, that. You see, I meant to say something about dancing in the blood of the fallen, but I wasn’t in the mood for it, you know? …Oh! I know! I could tie you up!”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Aren’t you already tied up?”

Vriska looked at her hands and feet, discovering that there were already ropes around them. She took in a deep breath. “I fucking hate Pinkie Pies.”

“Broo, broo – I feel you. I feel you. How’s about we go back to my place and kick off this grand, epic adventure that’s too silly for its own good?”

Vriska rolled her eyes. “…Sure. I’ll try to escape later.”

“Oh, of course, broo! Wouldn’t have it any other way!”

“…So what now?”

“Well, if this were really some grand epic adventure we’d have a title sequence of some kind!”

~~~

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcBNxuKZyN4&feature=youtu.be&t=1m54s

~~~

Charter-Princess Twilight Sparkle knew something was up the moment she walked down a hallway in her castle she didn’t recognize. This, however, could mean any number of things – surprise decoration by Rarity, the castle itself having rearranged its interior, or just her going a little crazy from seeing the same halls day in and day out. For all she knew it was just a difference in light levels from a slight magic surge.

Regardless, she was on guard now. Not worried, but ready in case there was something unsavory around the corner. She tried to get back to the main hall first, but after traversing several rooms and halls with no luck, she considered teleporting – though, admittedly, if she didn’t know the layout of the castle, teleporting was probably a bad idea.

She wondered if the Tree of Harmony was having a joke at her expense or something. The Tree wasn’t prone to such pranks, unlike Celestia, but it was a possibility. If it was anything else that had rearranged her castle, it would have to be something… nefarious. Or Discord.

Now that she thought about that, it probably was Discord. This was just the sort of stunt he’d pull randomly. For all she knew he was uncontrollably chuckling behind her back, understandably unconcerned about being heard.

She glanced behind her and saw nothing. That didn’t mean he wasn’t behind this.

It was at this moment she stumbled into the main hall. She didn’t have time to check to see if it was as she remembered, because she saw the tremendous entry doors get kicked open by a very ticked off looking Applejack. “Twilight, I’ve been knockin’ for three minutes! Three minutes! Yer debt’s up to five thousand bits because of that!”

“Oh,” Twilight said, blinking. “I’m in an alternate universe. Got it. Good to have that cleared up.”

“Six thousand bits for ignorin’ me!”

“Oh, sorry… Applejack, right? Sorry, I’m not the Twilight that owes you money, I’m from a completely different universe.”

“Seven thousand!”

“And I didn’t answer the door because I’m deaf. Can’t hear – I can read lips though so don’t you start.”

“Eight thousand!”

“Look, I can’t take any bits out of the treasury for you, I don’t have any right in this universe, not to mention this isn’t how debts work. You can’t charge interest by the sentence! It doesn’t work like that!”

“Nine thousand!”

Twilight huffed. “Fine, one thousand bits for ignoring me. Pay up.”

“Te – wait, excuse me?” Applejack huffed. “Twilight, ya don’t wanna do this. Ah can bring the literal legions of hell down on ya and yer pathetic excuse for a scam. Drop the dumb act, get yer hair back to normal, and just pay me the money.”

“And if I really am a pony from another universe?”

“Ah’m not sayin’ Ah’ll eat mah hat.”

Twilight blinked. “That… Wasn’t what I was going for. I’m just asking you to consider the possibility that maybe, by some chance of fate, that I’m telling the truth.”

“…Ya are talkin’ awfully reasonable for the Twilight Ah know… And Ah’ve never had her try a scam on me, she knows better…”

“See? It’s not outside the realm of possibility.”

“Ah’ll be the judge of that. Hey Spike!”

A version of Spike poked his head out from behind a door. “Yes, Applejack?”

“Twilight seem odd to you?”

“Uh…” he glanced nervously at Twilight. “Master, what’s this about?”

“Master?” Twilight blurted. She shook her head. “Applejack, answer me honestly, is the other me here a slave driver?”

“Nooooo,” Applejack said, drawing out the word far longer than necessary.

Twilight narrowed her eyes. “…I’m not sure if you’re being condescending or sarcastic.”

“Ah, there she is!” Applejack laughed. “Ya almost had me there for a moment, Twi, but that’s classic Twilight right there.”

“Of course we wouldn’t be completely diff- you know what, nevermind. Why am I even arguing?”

Spike raised a claw. “Uh, Applejack? Isn’t that a classic Fluttershy move?”

“Shut up Spike, you don’t know anythin’,” Applejack blurted.

Twilight pulled a dimensional device. “I’ll just go home. Simple universe coordinate set and…”

The device gave her an error message. No connection.

“…Drat,” Twilight muttered. “Not working…”

“Ah’ll forgive half your debt if you give me that thing,” Applejack said.

“It’s not my debt!”

“Master, it is,” Spike added.

“I am not your master! And whoever’s usually here shouldn’t be either!”

Applejack blinked. “…Woah, you really aren’t Twilight.”

“You believe me?”

“No, Ah just wanted to see the hopeful look on yer face suddenly be crushed by dawning realization.”

Twilight’s jaw dropped and her eye twitched.

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Of course I believe ya Twi, Ah’m not an idiot.”

“I am!” Spike shouted.

“Thank you for that rivetin’ addition to the conversation.”

Twilight put a hoof to her head. “Okay. This has given me a headache…”

“Noooooooo,” Applejack said.

“Would you stop that?”

Applejack smirked. “Tell ya what, for a bit, Ah’ll stop.”

“Don’t have any bits on me, sorry.”

“Then ya owe me one, cause Ah’m stoppin’.”

“Wha- you can’t- bu-“

“Oh yes Ah can. Ah run this town, little Twilight. Since yer new here, that’s the first thing you need to understand. The second is everypony else is a raging idiotic lunatic. A bit refreshin’ to have another brain around here, to be honest.”

“Then why are you tormenting me with… debts!?”

“Ah’m a… businesspony.”

“You’re the mafia aren’t you?”

“What? No… Noooooo…”

Twilight smirked. “And my debt is cleared.”

“…Damnit.”

“Ah, but you have a chance to get me in debt again!”

Applejack smirked. “Oh, we talkin’ business?”

“Yep. I’ll promise ten bits for information and a guide – do you know of any way to travel between universes? If you do, show me where it is.”

“Yes, and right this way, takin’ ya to the basement! She’s got some mirror portal down there that leads to a place with humans or somethin’…”

Twilight grinned. “Good. Also, Spike, go take the day off.”

“Really, master?” Spike said, eyes wide.

Twilight sighed. “Yes. Really.”

“Yay! I’m going to go do nothing productive! I think I’ll go stare at my muscles in a mirror!”

So long as he enjoys himself, Twilight thought. I hope I’m wrong about his relationship with the native Twilight…

~~~

Flutterfree woke up from her nap surrounded by a dozen rabbits staring at her intently.

She blinked. “…Why are you all looking at me like that?”

Angel cocked his head. He noted that she sounded strange.

“Oh, I do? I don’t sound weird to me…”

He shrugged, commenting that Flutterfree also wasn’t acting as scared of them as usual.

“Scared? Why would I be scared? I’ve known you all for years and - …wait. Angel Bunny, what’s my name?”

He thought it was Fluttershy.

“Of course…” Flutterfree took in a breath. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I’m the pony you know. My name is Flutterfree. I’m from a completely different world, probably. I’d never find any of you precious creatures terrifying!”

This disappointed some of the animals and relieved the others.

Flutterfree looked outside, narrowing her eyes. “So, would anypony here know about other universes and worlds? It’s okay if you don’t know.”

Angel shrugged. Twilight was the science pony. Pinkie also had a way of knowing things.

“I think I’ll try Twilight first, Pinkies are always so… unpredictable. You never know when one will try to bake you into cupcakes. I don’t think I could handle one of those by myself.” She scratched Angel behind the ears. “Is there anything dangerous out there I should be worried about?”

There was a war going on, but it wasn’t exactly happening near Ponyville.

“Oh, a war… that’s terrible! I hope it ends soon.”

Angel shrugged – he didn’t care about it all that much.

“Right. Well, I’m off to find this world’s Twilight. Does she live in a castle, a library, or…?”

She lived in the library.

“Got it. Thank you all! Try not to torment other-me if she comes back, okay?”

Angel rolled his eyes. She’d been getting better with them as of late, less running in terror and more random bursts of screaming.

“…Right. Take care of yourselves!” She walked out the door and shut it behind her, trotting down the road to Ponyville. The path looked almost identical to what she remembered from four years ago, but there were a few subtle differences. There were less birdfeeders and animal habitats – presumably because this world’s Fluttershy was not good with animals. She also saw a couple of zeppelins in the sky, moving in a circle. Probably part of the war.

She gulped. She didn’t like the looks of this. She wished she had a dimensional device on her. Maybe she should start carrying one at all times, like Twilight and Pinkie…

She hoped this world’s Twilight could help her.

As Flutterfree entered Ponyville, nopony paid her much mind – she did, after all, look like Fluttershy. No hat, no metal ears… Nothing to set her apart. Probably good, in this case. She walked right up to the Golden Oaks Library and knocked.

Twilight Sparkle, unicorn, answered the door. “Yes, Fluttershy?”

“Hello. This is going to sound weird, but I’m not your Fluttershy.“

“You’re not Fluttershy…?” Twilight said, entering a defensive stance.

Flutterfree shook her head. “No, I’m not. I’m from another universe. The animals told me you might be able to help.”

“I… What? Why do you sound like a dude?”

“To me, you sound like a guy.”

Twilight blinked. “…I’m going to get a notebook to write all this down. Help yourself to anything in the kitchen that isn’t marked ‘Spike’.”

Flutterfree nodded. “Thank you.”

~~~

Renee woke up, slowly coming into the awareness of the day. She was on her drama couch, in her boutique, lying on the white form of her younger sister, Sweetie Belle. The filly days of Sweetie Belle were long behind her – she was a full grown, if still young, mare now, cutie mark and all.

Renee adjusted her hat and rubbed her eyes – they must have fallen asleep on the drama couch. What had they been doing? Oh, right. Watching TV. The humans had such interesting movies sometimes… The two of them had been making movie night a thing they did as of late.

Though Renee found herself momentarily confused to find that the wall the TV had been mounted on was empty. Not to mention, the dresses were also different than she remembered… Did Coco or Sassy come in and change the selection? Renee knew she wasn’t really in charge of her boutiques’ finer points anymore, but she still had a sharp eye for detail and knew when things changed…

“Renee…” Sweetie muttered, rubbing her eyes. “Can’t we keep sleeping?”

Renee put a hoof to her chin. “Sweetie, I think something’s up. Does the boutique look different to you?”

Sweetie blinked, forcing herself to look around. “…Well, the TV’s missing. Were we robbed?”

Renee walked up to the wall the TV had been on and put a hoof to it. “There’s no dust back here, or even an imprint of the TV’s mount… It’s like it was never here.”

Sweetie shook her head, trying to clear it. “Uh… Are we in the past or something? Did Nova screw a spell up?”

“Possibly…” Renee looked out the windows of the Boutique at Ponyville. “Might actually be in the past. No castle, no dimensional buildings… This could also be another universe.”

“Why are we here?” Sweetie asked.

Renee furrowed her brow. “I don’t know… And I don’t have a dimensional device on me. This could be… problematic.”

Sweetie blinked. “We… Can get home, right?”

Renee nodded slowly. “Oh, of course we can, we got here somehow. The issue is finding out how to get back. Sadly, I only know the most basic dimensional theory…”

Sweetie grinned. “I’ve studied up on it! I could probably do something with enough magic!”

Renee smirked. “Well, aren’t I lucky you came here with me then?”

“Yes, you are.”

The front door of the boutique opened, allowing a version of Sweetie Belle in – a blank flank filly with angry, somehow ominous, eyes. She spoke with a voice so deep it resonated with the very substance of reality around them. “Rarity, Twilight wants to see you about that dress, and she demanded I come here like some errand pony, refusing to look up from her incantations for any reason. As a normal sister, I of course begrudgingly obliged. And- Edsam l’oa t't ‘jknlk yi Azathothn’th yar as't?!?” the filly blurted when she noticed Sweetie Belle.

Sweetie Belle stared back at the smaller version of herself. “Not as cute as I remember.”

Renee shook her head. “Stars above, I thought Alushy had the voice. Clearly I was wrong.”

The filly blinked. “As a perfectly normal unicorn, I am understandably confused, and concerned, by the sudden existence of an adult clone of myself and a clearly altered big sister. Rarity, what is going on!?”

“Well… I’m not Rarity, I’m Renee, this is Sweetie Belle, and we’re not from your universe.”

“Ah. As a filly, I cannot comprehend this strange concept, but I think I can grasp that you are not the ponies I knew. So… I am Thrackerzod. What brings you to this plane?”

Sweetie Belle and Renee exchanged confused glances. Renee shook her head. “Well, we don’t know. We fell asleep on the couch, watching TV, and then we woke up here. We currently lack any way to get back home… Thrackerzod, dear, do you know anything about other worlds, or any pony that could help us?”

“I most definitely do not have any such knowledge myself, clearly, but there may be something in the library. Where Twilight Sparkle is.”

“Right,” Renee said. “I suppose we will answer her ‘call’ then, even if it’s not going to be the one she wants…”

“Want to come?” Sweetie asked Thrackerzod. “You could be our guide to this world!”

“…This strikes me as a bad idea,” Thrackerzod said.

“Oh, you sure? I think it’d be fun.”

Thrackerzod sighed deeply. “…I cannot turn down ‘fun’, it is the way things are.”

Renee raised an eyebrow. “If you don’t want to come, Thr-“

“No, no, I shall come, no more deliberating. It’ll be worthwhile to prepare further with Twilight…” she noticed the way Renee and Sweetie were staring at her. “…for a party! Thrown by Pinkie! You have Pinkies that throw parties, right?”

Renee nodded slowly. “Yes…”

“Then let us go to Twilight Sparkle for interdimensional help and… observation. Yes. Also, while I am concerned for my sister I am still overcome by excitement at the prospect of something new and interesting.”

Renee rolled her eyes. “Right, well, to the library then.”

~~~

Pinkie, the last pony to see, was the one who figured out what was going on fastest.

Which was to say she cheated by just knowing.

She sat up from the cake she was baking and stared outside. “Huh. Another universe. Cool. Thank you Vriska,” she said with only a slight hint of sarcasm. “So… What am I going to do here? Hrm…” She put a hoof to her chin. “I know! I’ll just go say hello to everypony!”

She burst out the doors of Sugarcube Corner and stood on her hind legs, smiling in the light of the sun. “HELLLO PONYVILLE!”

“Hello, Pinkie,” a Rainbow Dash said, flying up. “You’re looking Rainbow today, Dash!”

“And so are you!” Pinkie said with a grin. “So, what’s up today Dashie?”

“Rainbowing, some Dashing, some more Rainbowing, you know.”

“Yeah. I do,” Pinkie said, straining to keep her smile as large as it was.

“But then the Dash with the Rainbow, Rainbow Dashed, and it was awesome.”

“…Right,” Pinkie said. “So, seen any friends lately?”

“Only the best! Rarity’s right over there!”

Pinkie turned her head sharply to see a Rarity trotting across the street. She was wearing some kind of purple ceremonial robe and a giant hat. “Hey Rarity!” Pinkie called.

“Pinkie!” Rarity said, aghast. “Darling, you can’t interfere today! We have a ceremony that I can’t be responsible for messing up again! Take your randomness and your witchcraft elsewhere, I don’t want to deal with it today! Humph!” She trotted away, barely maintaining balance due to the giant hat.

Pinkie blinked as Rarity trotted away. “Wow. That was mean.”

“It totally was,” Rainbow Dash interjected.

Pinkie shook her head slowly. “Right so… What have I learned? Nothing really, just introduced this Rarity, that’s important. There’s also the double flanderized Rainbow Dash, not so important. The world is filled with uncaring jerks and I’m a witch. Or the other me is a witch. Wait…” She put a hoof to her chin. “Can I be a gypsy bard witch thing? That would be cool, it’d certainly provide a convenient excuse to move along the plot…”

Rainbow Dash blinked. “Uh… You aren’t supposed to be saying that in front of me, are you?”

“Repeat anything I just said.”

“Rainbow!”

“Thought so. You’re safe.” Pinkie adjusted her mane and put on a smirk. “Dashie, you might want to go. I’m going to turn the basement of Sugarcube Corner into a séance! So unless you want some witchcraft parties, I’d suggest moving your caboose to Dash some Rainbow Rainbow elsewhere.”

“So Rainbow!”

“Yep. Exactly.”

Rainbow Dash flew away. Pinkie let out a breath. “Right, so… To the basement!”

She was in the basement, somehow having already set up a pentagram. She set five cakes at the star points and a large crystal ball in the center. She giggled. “This is going to be so silly.” She opened a chest that belonged to the native Pinkie, removing several enchanted witchcraft ingredients. Normally they’d need to be thrown into a cauldron, but Pinkie had used all her patience on Rainbow Dash. She just threw them into a random glass bottle, shook, and decided it was ready.

“Yeah, I know I’m exploiting. It doesn’t really matter, okay?” She completed the highly illegal form of magic and began to chant in a mysterious, ancient tongue, the ten minute speech roughly equivalent to “Oh great forces, show me my quest!”

The lines of the pentagram glowed, dissolving the cakes into nothing. A sugary sheen covered the crystal ball, prompting an image to show up within the crystal sphere. It was of this world’s Fluttershy, in full ceremonial dress, watching a purple mass of evil burn through the countryside, enveloping everything…

Pinkie gasped. “The Smooze is coming! Oh no!” She stood tall and saluted nothing in particular. “I take it as my sworn duty to Equestria and the Multiverse to stop this calamity from happening!”

Her serious expression vanished and she started giggling. “This should be fun!”

~~~

Charter-Princess Twilight Sparkle stood in front of a portal with Applejack at her side.

“There’s going to be another Applejack through this barrier,” Twilight said. “We’ll need to call you something else.”

“Why shouldn’t the other one get a name?”

“Because she’s not here?”

“And why are ya still Twilight then? By that logic, ya should change yer name!”

“…I’m working on that. You can call me Charter if you need to differentiate.”

“Yer Charlie.”

“I am not Charlie”

“Yer Charlie to me.”

“Then you’re… You’re just Jack, Jack.”

Jack raised an eyebrow. “…Ah’m okay with this.”

Twilight facehooved. “Of course you are. Let’s move.”

The two stepped through the Mirror Portal, arriving on an Earth much like Earth Vitis, albeit several years behind. Canterlot High was still here, exactly as Twilight remembered seeing it the first time.

She was slightly disoriented to realize she was a human again. She stumbled a bit – but nowhere near as much as Jack, who took one step, landed on her face, and made a skid mark in the concrete.

Twilight smirked. “Takes some getting used to, doesn’t it?”

“Somepony’s gonna pay for makin’ me look like an idiot, and Ah’m thinkin’ yer a good candidate.”

Twilight shrugged, standing up and dusting herself off. “Then you’d never get your money.”

“Yeah, can’t wait for those hundred bits.”

“It was ten, Jack.”

“Ah seem to remember a hundred…”

“That won’t hold up in court.”

“Ah own the courts!

Twilight rolled her eyes. “It’s extremely likely I can get the interdimensional courts in on this, places where you have no influence.”

Jack put a hand to her chin. “Clearly, I need to expand my influence…”

“Good luck with that,” Twilight said, pulling out her dimensional device. She attempted to dial Equis Vitis – but there was no connection. She started cycling through all the commonly-used coordinates she knew, but she found nothing. She was able to dial the universe she had just been in, but that didn’t really help.

“Huh. So it actually works. Color me impressed,” Jack commented.

“Oh ye of little faith…” Twilight said, closing the portal. “Well, this doesn’t help me. Still no connections. I may have to set up a finder spell…”

“A what now?”

“It’s something I can attach to the Mirror Portal that’ll make it cycle between different universes. Though without the diamond it won’t be able to check very distant locations… I’m sure it can find something. Let’s go back.”

“Go back? We just got here!”

“Yeah, but it’s not exactly helpful now is it?”

“Charlie, ya don’t skip out on an opportunity like this. We’re here, there’s something we can do.”

“Who in hell are you?” a human Applejack said, walking up with a Sunset Shimmer behind her.

Jack looked at Twilight. “Ah’ve changed my mind, let’s leave now.”

“Oh, can’t stand the sight of yer own face?” the Applejack questioned.

Jack put her hands on her hips. “The disgusting shape of a human’s face is only part of it. The other part is that yer clearly some froo-froo teenage girl. Ah bet you don’t even have a say in the family business.”

“…Farmin’ apples?”

“Dear Celestia, this place is unbearable. It’s makin’ me think about things Ah don’t wanna think about. Charlie, let’s go.”

Twilight ignored Jack and walked up to Sunset Shimmer. “Hello, I’m Charter-Princess Twilight Sparkle, and I’m from a far away universe. You are…?”

The Sunset Shimmer opened her mouth, but her Applejack spoke for her. “That’s OJ. Surprised you don’t know, Twilight.”

“She’s not the same Twilight, ya idjit!” Jack chided.

“Ah know that, me, you can piss off.”

“No you can piss off.”

Twilight turned to OJ. “So… OJ? Not Sunset Shimmer?”

“Apparently not,” OJ said, sighing.

“Well, it does make things easier if we run into another Sunset at any time. What’s it stand for?”

“Orange Twilight.”

Twilight blinked. “…How does…?”

“It doesn’t.”

Applejack butted in. “It’s perfectly understandable! Listen! ooooranjeeeeee OOOOOOOORANJEEEEEE.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “…I can hear you inserting a J in there where none was meant to be.”

“Same,” Jack commented.

Applejack crossed her arms. “Whatever, it’s just a name, who gives a crap?”

OJ averted her gaze from everyone. Twilight put a hand on OJ’s shoulder. “Hey… Chin up, okay?”

“I’m fine…”

“No, you’re not,” Twilight said. “But I can help, if you’ll let me.”

“Why are you wastin’ your time on OJ? She’s not-“

Twilight shot Applejack a look that shut her right up. “Whatever you were about to say, it was wrong. OJ here is a great human and a great unicorn who’s just a little lost and needs to find her purpose.”

“What are you, some kind of empath?” Jack asked.

“Just good at my job,” Twilight said, looking warmly at OJ. “Would you like to come with me for a little while, get out of this place?”

OJ pulled Twilight into a hug. “Yes. Please, god yes.”

Twilight hugged her back. “That settles it. Jack, we’re taking OJ with us. See you… other Applejack.”

“Eh, Ah could care less.”

Jack raised an eyebrow. “It’s ‘Ah couldn’t care less’, idjit.”

“Do ya get off on insultin’ yerself?”

“Ya’d know.”

“Okay! We’re leaving through the portal!” Twilight called. “You can stay here and keep arguing if you want!”

The two Applejacks stared at each other for a few more seconds before huffing and walking in opposite directions. Jack returned to her Equis with Twilight and OJ.

When they returned, Twilight gave OJ a reassuring smile. “We’re going to try to find another universe, OJ. Does that sound exciting?”

“It does. Trying to get home?”

“Yep. Might take a bit, but I don’t think we’re too far away from our section of the multiverse.” She took her dimensional device and placed it at the top of the Mirror Portal, casting a complicated search spell on it. The lights on the device began to flash in seemingly random patterns as it began to test dozens of different coordinates. There were no instant discoveries – the Mirror Portal turned off, and remained off while the searching continued.

“Don’t worry, I can take you back to Earth at any time,” Twilight said.

OJ looked at the Mirror Portal. “…I’m not sure I want to go back.”

Jack raised an eyebrow. “What, too many references to the time ya were totally evil?”

“…Yeah. And all the references to me being useless.”

“Well suck it up, ya were evil, you’re facin’ what happens. Buckle up, buttercup, it don’t go away.”

OJ started crying.

“Jack!” Twilight called. “That was mean!”

“Ya really are from another universe, aren’t ya?”

“Yes! But I know that OJ here can be useful and have a purpose! I’m sure she can be a great friend and ally!”

OJ let a smile come to her face. “Thanks, Twi…”

“Oh look at that, you’re giving her hope,” Jack commented. “Now that’s mean.”

Twilight took in a deep breath and let it out, calming herself. “Don’t you have a criminal empire to run or something?”

“Oh, Granny’s got that under control for t’day. Ah think Ah’m gonna join ya and spread the influence.”

“…Great.”

~~~

“These are some nice crackers,” Flutterfree commented, munching.

“Yeah,” Twilight said, scribbling more things down. “So… Let me see if I have this straight. You’re part of a task force with a version of me, Pinkie, Rarity, and somepony named Starlight that explores new universes and forges alliances?”

“More or less,” Flutterfree confirmed.

“And you’re currently lost in our universe, and you have no idea why…” Twilight put a hoof to her chin. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I can help you… Oh, but I know somepony who might?”

“Who?”

“Only the best pony ever, Princess Celestia! I’ll have Spike send her a letter explaining the situation, and asking for some kind of help. Actually, I should probably do that anyway, she’ll want to know about you so she can make a decision about what to do with you. She might be busy though…”

“With the war?”

Twilight’s excitement left her body. “Yeah. The war.”

“What’s the war about anyway?” Flutterfree asked.

“Sombra and Chrysalis want us dead, basically.”

“…Somehow I expected it to be a bit more complicated than that.”

“Oh, it probably is. But here, we’re safe. The war will never get this deep into Equestria, Celestia won’t let it. She’s just too good.”

Flutterfree smiled. “That’s a good attitude.”

“Anyway… Spike! I need you to send a letter- Wait, right, he’s not here right now. At Rarity’s.”

“Let’s go say hello to Rarity then,” Flutterfree said, eating the last bit of her cracker.

“Actually, she might be able to help some as well…”

“Hrm? Rarity?”

Twilight blinked. “Yeah! Her. For… reasons.”

Flutterfree raised an eyebrow.

“Look, it’s something private, and she’d rather not tell some random pony who looks like Fluttershy about it.”

“I understand.”

“What do you think happened to Fluttershy, anyway?”

Flutterfree shrugged. “She’s probably in my world. I can guarantee she’ll be looked after, if you’re worried.”

“Right…” Twilight trotted out of the library, Flutterfree close behind her. The two of them knew exactly where the boutique was, and marched right in. Sure enough, Spike and Rarity were both in there.

Spike was talking. “..so yeah, that’s pretty much how I saved the entire badlands.”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “Um, I think I would have remembered that, if something happened in the badlands. Um, yeah.” She turned to Twilight. “Hey, Twilight, do you wanna buy a dress?”

Twilight took in a deep breath and released to calm herself. “No, Rarity, I do not want to buy a dress. I am here to use Spike – we need to send a letter to Princess Celestia.”

“Oh come on!” Spike blurted. “Another one? What is so important that you couldn’t use the regular mail, Twi?”

Flutterfree spoke up. “I’m from another universe and your Fluttershy is probably stuck in mine.”

Spike blinked. “Oh. Okay, fine, write the letter, I’ll send it.” Twilight nodded, taking out a piece of parchment and writing the letter.

Rarity looked at Flutterfree. “Um…”

“Hello Rarity, I’m Flutterfree.”

“…Um, do you wanna buy a dress?”

“Maybe later, I don’t have any money on me right now.”

“Oh, I can just give you a dress. Lemme check the back…”

“Don’t worry about it right now,” Flutterfree said. “But I would like to see it later, after this is dealt with.”

“Right,” Rarity said, smiling. “…Our Fluttershy is okay, right?”

“My world isn’t dangerous at all, don’t worry. There’s no war there.”

“Oh? Um, really?”

“Nope.”

Rarity leaned in. “Do you have enemies though?”

“Oh yes, we had Sombra and Chrysalis too, but they were defeated before war could break out. The changelings are our allies now as well.”

Spike, Rarity, and Twilight stared at her.

“Oh, did I say something wrong?”

“Er… No! Not at all!” Twilight said, looking around nervously. “Just a little odd, that’s all!”

Rarity leaned closer to Flutterfree. “How did you become allies?”

Flutterfree put a hoof to her chin. “Well, we deposed Chrysalis, and discovered that changelings can operate on giving love instead of stealing it. Though, sadly, not every universe’s changelings can do that – they can all still be friends though. I know several versions of a changeling named Kevin-“

“Kevin!?” Rarity blurted.

“You know him?”

“Um… No!”

Flutterfree blinked. She held up a hoof. “Okay, clearly we’re treading over dangerous ground where there are lots of secrets. I won’t ask you to tell me – you have no reason to trust me, you’ve known me less than ten minutes. But, to answer the question I think you want answered, Rarity – yes, changelings are redeemable and can be great friends, just as they have capacity for great evil.”

Rarity nervously smiled. “Um… Thank you.”

“I think I’d like to look at that dress now,” Flutterfree said.

“Right this way!”

As the two left, Twilight and Spike glanced at each other.

“Well this might complicate things,” Spike said.

“No kidding,” Twilight muttered, writing another line on the letter and handing it to Spike. “Let’s see what she says.”

Spike sent the letter up and away to Canterlot Castle…

~~~

At the door of a library parallel to the one Flutterfree had just left, Renee knocked on the door, Sweetie and Thrackerzod flanking her sides.

A unicorn Twilight Sparkle opened the door, her expression giving off a mixture of apathy, disinterest, and general grumpiness. She spoke with a voice that belonged in a stallion but was still a far cry from Thrackerzod’s guttural undertone. “What is it?”

Renee gestured at Sweetie, Thrackerzod, and her hat.

“…Oh. Great, this is going to be one of those days. What did you do this time? Did you do it with some powerful wizard, and a freaky spell of some kind discharged at just the wrong moment?”

Renee winced. “Oh dear, is my counterpart one of those Raritys?”

“…You’re sounding masculine.”

“Rather,” Renee said, ignoring the comment for the most part. “I am Renee, a Rarity from another universe. I assure you, I am nothing like the… uncultured ‘flirt’ you’ve suggested your Rarity is. I am a pony of class and an explorer of many untold worlds. This is my sister, Sweetie Belle. We don’t know why we’re here and we have no way to get back.”

Twilight stared at her blankly. “While that’s beyond interesting, why the hell did you come to me?”

“You know things!” Thrackerzod accused, pointing a hoof.

“Oh, for the – you listened to Sweetie Belle?”

“Thrackerzod!” Thrackerzod insisted.

“Just call her Thrackerzod,” Sweetie said. “Unless you want me to change my name to something.”

“Ugh… Look, I may know a thing or two about conjuring things from other realms, that’s no secret, but they aren’t exactly places you’d want to go, even if you have explored other worlds before. The things there are literal evil eldritch abominations.”

Renee and Sweetie Belle glanced at Thrackerzod. The filly started sweating profusely.

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “…Why are you looking at her funny?”

“No reason,” Renee lied, turning back to Twilight. “Although you can’t help us, I do believe you would be the pony to talk to so we may learn more about this world.”

“That’s… Probably right, unfortunately. Ugh… Fine, I’ll pour some drinks, something tells me this is going to be a long day.” She let the three of them in. “I’ve got every kind of alcohol under the sun, what do you want?”

“Oooh oooh!” Sweetie cheered. “Have anything cherry flavored?”

“I do have some infused wine- wait, aren’t you too…” she looked Sweetie Belle up and down. “Nevermind. Still have the image of a filly in my head for you. Probably won’t go away anytime soon and I’m not going to make much of an effort to get rid of it.”

Renee sighed. “I’ll have a daiquiri. Any kind will do.”

“You have to promise not to throw it onto the floor if it’s not perfect,” Twilight muttered, grabbing a beer for herself.

“I’m liking your version of me less and less as time goes on,” Renee commented.

“That’s the rational response,” Twilight said, passing out the drinks.

“I shall sit back here,” Thrackerzod announced, “jealous that I am not old enough to consume the adult beverages, but obediently I will not try to consume some behind your backs.”

“Uh huh, sure,” Twilight muttered, downing her bottle. “So, Renee of other-universe-somewhere, you’re lost.”

“Yes, unfortunately.”

“No idea how you got here?”

“None at all. It happened while we were asleep. We were watching TV – do you have TV here?”

“Yeah. What sad universe wouldn’t?”

“Most pony universes, actually.”

“The multiverse sounds horribly depressing. Which is to say this revelation changes nothing about my outlook on life. What a riveting piece of information.”

Renee raised an eyebrow. “Dear, you seem troubled.”

“No, really?”

“Really. I won’t pry, since I’m new here and clearly I’d be out of my bounds to do so, but perhaps you could stand to get some help.”

“My friends are all idiots or assholes and that wolf psychiatrist was worthless.”

Renee blinked. “…Fair. I would offer you help, but I’m cut off from all my resources.”

“Why are my personal issues any business of yours?”

“Habit, I suppose. We were regularly called to solve ‘friendship problems’ back in the day. Still are, from time to time.”

“That sounds completely asinine.”

Renee smirked. “Usually we ended up doing some good. But we are getting off track. You should tell me a bit about this world.”

“Celestia is the god-ruler of everything and if you go against her you are dead in every possible sense of the word. You’re in her kingdom, Equestria, and we have three types of ponies that generally hate each other but still manage to make this bizarre experiment that is government work well enough not to fall apart at the seams. There’s five magical elements of harmony that we can use to rainbow-blast enemies into oblivion…”

“Five? Strange. We have six in our world.”

“Why would there be si- oh, right. Spike. Forgot about him for a moment.”

Renee blinked. “Huh. In our world it’s me, Twilight, Pinkie, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy.”

“Who?”

“…Do you not have a Fluttershy?”

“I don’t recognize the name.”

“Yellow pegasus, little shy, usually likes animals?”

“…Not ringing any bells.”

“Strange…” Renee shrugged. “I’ll have to look into that later. The town is the same, I bet her cottage would be in the same place…”

“You’re getting off track again.”

“I’m not sure this conversation really has a track.”

“Well great, here we are drinking and having a conversation that has no point.”

“Oooh! Just like a date!” Sweetie said.

Twilight and Renee looked at her. “I completely forgot you existed,” Twilight said.

“Eh, yeah, that happens. This is actually my first interdimensional adventure, I’m just so caught up in watching Renee do what she does best!”

“Kid, your sister is doing a terrible job at interrogation.”

“Oh, she’s not interrogating, she’s making friends.”

Renee smirked. “I’m doing both, Sweetie.”

A thought occurred to Twilight, “Wait, if you’re here, where’s my Rarity?”

“Dunno. She wasn’t in the boutique,” Renee said. “I’d say I probably swapped places with her, but both Sweetie and Thrackerzod are here.”

“Sounds like a question you should try to answer if you want to get home.”

“Certainly.” Renee took a delicate sip of her drink. “Now, I’m curious, what are your elements like?”

“Well… Want the long version or the short version?”

“Short first, long if I want more.”

“Applejack’s the only reasonable pony in existence, Spike is my sarcastic servant, Rainbow Dash has mental retardation, Pinkie is always either trying to seduce me or kill me for some reason, and Rarity is a slut.”

Renee tried to hold back her gasp – she couldn’t.

“You really take offense at that, don’t you?”

“If I ever see her I will likely have a long chat with her about the dignity of a lady.”

“Good luck. She’s of the mind that she’s the most fashionable thing since sliced bread.”

“Her metaphor leaves much to be desired, sliced bread is hardly fashionable.”

A small smile came to Twilight’s lips. “No, it’s not. See, I keep telling her the metaphor would work better with some sort of fashion trend from a few decades back, but she never listens to me. And don’t get me started on how picky she is – throwing ‘imperfect’ drinks on the floor, refusing to get dirty…”

“Stars above, Twilight, I do believe we’re gossiping rather malevolently about a pony I’ve never actually met.”

“…Do you have a problem with that?”

Renee bit her lip. “Well… I should…” She slammed her hooves on the table and grinned. “But I can’t resist! Let’s keep going! I’ve known a few crazy Raritys in my adventures, some of whom were literally murderers. The strangest one of all, though, would have to be Dynamo. I never did understand her name…”

~~~

Thrackerzod had slipped away quickly after the boring ‘gossip’ talk started. She wasn’t getting any new information, and nothing was getting her any closer to her goal – the death of Twilight Sparkle and the capture of her soul. A somewhat small part in the tremendous game Thrackerzod was a part of, but still important to the eternal machinations of the forces she served.

However, she had learned some things today that she needed to report. So she called her friends together for another ritual. She, Applebloom, and Scootaloo performed it in the clubhouse this time – as nice as Fluttershy was, doing it in her cottage again was just bad for the eldritch vibes of what was about to happen. They still took one of her chickens though, they were good for innocence destroying.

“Remember, you two,” Thrackerzod said. “He’s a busy man, and we can’t keep him around to play for very long.”

“I don’t need very long, baby, hoo!” Scootaloo said. “Just a little time to get on in there, if you know what I mean.”

Applebloom rolled her eyes. “Yes, Scootaloo, everypony from here to Canterlot knows what you mean and is understandably creeped out.”

“Hoo! Just the way I like ‘em!”

Thrackerzod rolled her eyes, turning to the chicken that was placed upon a yellow glyph in the ground. “So, Mrs. Spaghetti the second, are you ready for your innocence to be destroyed!?”

“Ooh! Ooh! I wanna do it!” Scootaloo said. “Hey Mrs. Spaghetti, allow me to explain to you the language of love.”

“All the chickens are married to Mr. Spaghetti, that’s not anything new for her,” Applebloom muttered.

“Applebloom is right, the lost innocence must be lost freshly,” Thrackerzod said.

“See? I can learn things about this eldrawhatever.”

“You will make a good acolyte one day,” Thrackerzod confirmed.

“I bet I can get the innocence destroyed… Hey, Mrs. Spaghetti! There are thousands of chickens being grown on farms everywhere for the explicit purpose of harvesting their newborns for cake batter! And it’s worse in Griffonstone, they eat all the chickens!”

Nothing happened.

“Not quite enough…” Thrackerzod muttered. “Let’s see… The world is inherently meaningless and you are but a pathetic animal, doomed to serve higher beings for eternity, lower even than the ponies that watch out for you. Also, Twilight Sparkle will never remember Fluttershy’s existence, and life is full of decisions where there is no right choice!”

The chicken took a step back. The yellow glyph transformed into a tall humanoid in yellow robes with two floating black hands at his sides. “Who has summoned me?” he spoke in a distant, alien language that somehow all present could understand anyway, even though it was a little disorienting.

Thrackerzod cleared her throat. “Hastur! I have summoned you, once again, to report my progress. A complication has arisen.”

“You think you have a complication? There’s a nut-head here screaming his head off and the Twilight has sent a ripple through the conduits again!”

“A Rarity and a Sweetie Belle from another universe have arrived, a universe that knows of interdimensional travel. They haven’t outed me yet, but they are suspicious.”

“This is bad news indeed- the plans will have to be moved along faster than intended. The Twilight cannot be allowed to roam free with her power, the consequences to our realm would be worse than the nut-head.”

“What’s a nut-head?” Applebloom asked.

“4^th dimensional beings that think they should run everything they can and apparently have taken issue with our interference in this realm even though with the presence of Thrackerzod we have a legitimate claim to the existence. They think they can regulate everything and we call them nut-heads because they look like they have wrinkled nuts for heads.”

Thrackerzod raised an eyebrow. “That’s a more pleasant description than you usually give of them.”

“Oh, baby, I wanna see one of these things now!” Scootaloo commented.

“You do not, trust me,” Thrackerzod muttered.

“The nut-head watches at all times and it would be best not to insult it while its senses are on us. There is a chance it is watching now though I truly expect it to just be partying it down at the Pitpit while pretending to do its supposed ‘job.’ Regardless, Thrackerzod, I will orient the realm how I can to make the moment right. With the dimensional additions I will attempt to expand the horizons of the contract to be more accommodating should interdimensional foreplay be required. The imbalance of the Twilight must be stopped.”

“Clearly. That is all I need to report. I should get back to the otherworlders, to make sure they aren’t doing anything unexpected. You can stay as long as you wish.”

“Your hospitality is appreciated, Thrackerzod. I shall let you return to your work and I will spend time with these two fillies while changing the contract – would you like TV or Battleship?”

“Oooh! I like Battleship!” Applebloom said.

“Have fun,” Thrackerzod called back. “There is work to do…”

Unbeknownst to Hastur, Thrackerzod, Applebloom, or Scootaloo, they were being watched. Sweetie Belle slowly lowered herself from the clubhouse’s window, trying to process what she’d just witnessed.

~~~

Pinkie looked at the sky with her binoculars – she knew the moon was up there, moving closer and closer to the sun, preparing for an eclipse later. The eclipse that would signal the coming of the Smooze, were the ritual to be completed properly. Pinkie could try to convince Luna to move the moon, but she wasn’t sure if that would work. The eclipse could just be a timer, not a source of actual magic…

She would have to stop it some other way, but she wasn’t sure what part of the ritual it was that actually summoned the Smooze. Pinkie turned her binoculars back to the clearing in the Everfree Forest where the cult had set up, all the ponies wearing beautiful purple robes. Fluttershy was wearing the most extravagant robes, lined with gold and mysterious symbols of Smooziness. She was standing over a large, round, open pit, which she threw a dead raccoon into. As she did this she shot Rarity a disgruntled look. Pinkie couldn’t see Rarity’s reaction, but it was probably shameful.

The Smooze acolytes began moving around the clearing, setting things up. Pinkie had no idea what any of it meant, it was all too far away. She couldn’t get closer – they really didn’t trust the ‘gypsy’ or her witchcraft. She’d be revealed immediately…

She needed an ally. But most of the ponies in this world were either aggressive, clueless, prideful, or part of that cult… Who could she think of that was nice, mostly moral, and had good reason to help her?

A lightbulb went off in her head. She knew exactly who could help her.

She appeared in the middle of Ponyville, stopping this world’s version of Sweetie Belle in her tracks. “Hey Sweetie, do you know what your sister is dong?”

Sweetie Belle spoke with a synthetic voice that clearly announced her identity as a robot to everypony present. “Yeah! She’s summoning the Smooze today! The summoning that I ruined last time!”

Pinkie just let her knowledge that Sweetie Belle was Sweetie Bot pass into the back of her mind – nobody needed to know about the robotic nature of the filly, not even Sweetie Bot herself. “Well, do you know what happens when the Smooze covers everypony?”

“Uh… No. I don’t. All I know is that it’ll make Rarity happy and that’s all I need to know!”

“Sweetie, I’m sorry, but Rarity thinks it’ll make her happy… But really, it’ll kill her and everypony in town at the least – possibly all of Equestria!”

Sweetie Bot blinked, her mechanical brain audibly whirring from the processing strain that revelation caused. “Whaaaaaat?”

“It’s true! Think about it – the Smooze is a giant purple flood of toxic chemicals that will blanket the land! Does that sound survivable?”

“Chances of survival in that situation are 0.01%! Oh no, Rarity! I have to stop you!”

Pinkie smiled warmly. “That’s the spirit! I need you to go to the cult’s ritual site and record everything you can, then report back to me so we can make a plan! Find out what part actually summons the Smooze! I can’t go in there, they don’t trust me, but I’m sure you can get your way in!”

“I’ll need the appropriate attire.”

Pinkie pulled a filly-sized cult robe out of her mane. “There you go!”

“Yay! My trustworthiness has increased!”

“Now, don’t you go forgetting your mission while you’re in there, okay Sweetie? The fate of the world depends on you finding out how we can stop the ritual.”

“My dependability is maximum! I won’t let you down!” She ran off into the forest, inner gears whirring quickly. “Rarity! I’m coming for you!”

Pinkie shrugged, appearing back on her outlook hill to observe the infiltration of the cult. Sweetie Bot arrived only shortly after Pinkie, her impressive robotic speed providing quite the advantage over other ponies. Pinkie saw her slide into the clearing, grinning, shouting something cheerfully. Fluttershy and Rarity walked up to her, said a few things, but eventually let Sweetie Bot in.

Pinkie grinned. Step one, success. Now Sweetie Bot just needed to remember how to get out…

“Hey, Pinkie, why are you spying on your friends?”

Pinkie lowered her binoculars to find an alicorn version of Twilight standing behind her. “Oh, Acorna. Hi.”

“…Why did you use my middle name?” Acorna asked.

“To avoid confusion,” Pinkie explained, looking back into her binoculars.

“Pinkie, you’re ignoring me. I don’t like that.”

“I’m trying to stop the Smooze from destroying all of Equestria, if you must know.”

“Oh. But I thought Rarity and Fluttershy wanted this?”

“Yeah, they do. Not going to let it happen.”

“Pinkie, you can’t just betray your friends like that!”

Pinkie looked up at Acorna and raised an eyebrow. “Why not?”

“Because… Because…”

“Hey, if I told you they thought you didn’t deserve to be princess and that your marriage was a farce perpetuated by mind control magic, what would you do?”

“They’d be executed!”

“Right. And if I told you they wanted to destroy Equestria?”

“Eh. Long as I’m still around.”

Pinkie blinked slowly. “Okay… What if I told you that destroying Equestria would make them better than you?”

“…It would?”

“It definitely would. Think about it, you’re the Princess of the Night, but that pales in comparison to the power of unleashing a sticky, Smoozy abomination on the world. You’d be placed in the shadow, ridiculed for having been surpassed. You might even be called to face the Smooze after it is summoned, and that’d be work.”

Acorna processed this. “…We have to stop the Smooze.”

That was way too easy, Pinkie thought. “Well, for now, all we do is watch Sweetie Belle. She’s my spy.”

“She’d make a horrible spy, she’s not subtle at all in anything she does.”

Pinkie snorted. “Oh, I think you’ve underestimated her…”

“I can’t underestimate anything.”

“Suuuuuuuure. Can you make mistakes?”

“Nope! I’m the goodest goodpony that ever existed! The world basks in my glory!”

“Delusions…”

“Why yes, it is delightful!”

Pinkie twitched, looking through the binoculars again. Sweetie Bot was talking to Rarity. Pinkie could only hope it was about the specifics of the ritual.

“…Are we just going to wait here until she’s done?” Acorna said.

“Yep,” Pinkie confirmed.

“Well that’s boring. I demand we move forward now!”

“Acorna, princess, that’d make ponies think you were impatient. You don’t want ponies to think that do you?”

“Nah, but I don’t have to worry, ponies always love me.”

Pinkie rammed her face into a desk that hadn’t existed a moment before. “Aaaaaaaaaaaaa…”

“Pinkie? Is something wrong? You seem a bit… Off, today. Do you need to sing a depressing song that sounds cheerful?”

“No,” Pinkie muttered. “I just need to stop the Smooze…”

“Wow, you’re acting weird today. Must just be you being you!”

Pinkie felt like saying something really mean and biting, but didn’t. She wondered for a moment why she was bothering to save this world. …Right. Just because they weren't the best, they were still people, and they didn’t deserve to die by toxic demon slime.

She sighed.

“I’m going in,” Acorna said.

“Wait, what!? No! Uh…” Pinkie thought quickly. “I have a better idea!”

“No ideas are better than mi-“

“Teleport Sweetie Belle back here once we think she’s collected enough information, just so she doesn’t have to work out how to escape herself! I can’t do that, but you can. You are key to this plan Acorna. In fact, it was actually your idea!”

“It was?”

“Yeah! Don’t you remember?”

“I guess such a plan would have to be created by me… Sweet! I’m going to save Equestria again!”

“Yay…” Pinkie said, halfheartedly.

~~~

Outside the castle Charter-Twilight was currently sitting in, a Rainbow Dash hovered inches from the door, engaging it in a staring contest.

This world’s Rarity walked up to her and blinked. “Rainbow Dash, what are you doing?” she asked with a distinctly Australian accent.

“Ermagerd, this door, it just won’t give up!”

“…Are you having a staring contest with a door?”

“Yeah. It’s good at it.”

“Rainbow, I don’t know how to tell you this, but it doesn’t have eyes.”

“If I needed eyes to have a staring contest I’d already have lost!”

“…Right. So can I come in or not?”

“Only if you can do it without moving the door!”

Rarity rolled her eyes from behind one of the castle’s windows. “Done.”

“Yah! Wait, how did you get in there?”

“Rainbow Dash, you, of all ponies, are asking how I managed to move from one place to another without going through a door?”

“Uh, yeah, it’s kind of obvious, Rarity.”

“Oh for the – blame it on montages or just ask Phil for some contrived explanation or something! Why do you even care, weren’t you supposed to be having a staring contest with a door?”

“Pfft, stupid Rarity, doors don’t have eyes. How could I have a staring contest like that?”

“I can’t believe I’m still fazed by this. Whatever, I’m done with you Rainbow Dash, I’m going to see Twilight.” She walked further down the halls of the castle until she, by chance, came across the room Twilight, Jack, and OJ were sitting in.

Twilight was talking. “So then I wore this mask that made it impossible to fall asleep. It was… An interesting experience.”

“Wow. This is quite some story,” OJ said. “What happened to Rarity?”

“Well, she went crazy obsessed over the inclinations of ‘truth’ and basically had a mental breakdown.”

“I did no such thing!” Rarity shouted.

Jack looked over Twilight’s shoulder. “Even if we were talkin’ about ya, at least half of that sentence describes ya all the time.”

“Why, I never!”

Twilight blinked. “Wha- oh. She’s behind me.” Twilight turned to meet Rarity’s gaze. “Hello, I’m Charter-Princess Twilight. I’m not the Twilight you know.”

“This better not be another Mirror Pool incident. You also better not be a demon. Also you still better accept dresses, because I came here to deliver a dress and I’m not leaving without delivering it.”

“Uh…” Twilight shook her head. “I’m not from the Mirror Pool, I’m not a demon, and I guess I can accept a dress?”

Rarity suddenly had a dress in her hooves and gave it to Twilight. “Here you go, all ready to go!”

“…How… Where did this come from?”

Rarity took a different approach with the question this time. She just smirked. “I bet you’d really like to know how I did that, but a lady never reveals her secrets!”

“…Do you have Pinkie powers?”

Rarity blinked. “That’s as good of an explanation as any I suppose… Though, in the words of the Twilight that should be getting that dress, ‘we don’t have to explain shit’.”

“I think I can see why.” Twilight deadpanned.

“So what brings you to our nonsensical universe?” Rarity asked. “You looking for adventure? Love? A devious mixture of the two?”

“Lost,” Twilight answered. “Currently looking for a way back with the Mirror Portal.”

“Ah. Such a shame, that. I could have helped with both.”

“And that’s the end of that conversation,” Jack said.

OJ raised a hoof. “Can we go back to the story about the masks? That was interesting.”

Rarity sat down. “Oh, masks? I love masks! They make everything so much more… interesting. Speaking of, Twilight, I need a long, round cactus. I know you have a plant-growing spell! Or, well, other you did, but you look more magical.”

OJ blinked. “…She seems more intense than my Rarity.”

“That’s because ponies are objectively better than shallow human teenagers,” Jack commented.

Twilight put a hoof to her chin. “…I wouldn’t say ‘better’, but I would say ‘more developed’.”

“Same diff,” Jack said.

“I’m going to take this entire thing as a reason to feel good about myself,” Rarity said. “Now, about that cactus…”

“No I’m not making you a cactus,” Twilight deadpanned.

“Oh, but I was going to use it-“

“Nopony wants to hear about that,” Jack interrupted. “So shut yer yap.”

“I will not shut my yap, Applejack! I will continue to describe, in uncomfortable detail, the step by step plan I have in place to get some enjoyment out of life!”

OJ pointed with her hoof. “Hey, everypony? The Mirror just dinged.”

Twilight turned to the Mirror Portal. “Oh. It found one. Good.” She summoned a piece of paper and scribbled a note on it, affixing it to the back of her chair. “If anyone comes here looking for me, they can look at that.” She sent a test spell through the Mirror, and it came back green. She entered the coordinates into her dimensional device for safekeeping. “Right, I’m off. OJ, coming?”

OJ stood up and smiled. “Definitely!”

“Ah’m comin’ too,” Jack said, standing tall. “Ah wanna see this multiverse for myself. I foresee many scams in my future…”

“You’re not even trying to be subtle,” Twilight muttered.

“You’d be surprised how many ponies just let you scam them.”

“…Good point. Rarity?”

Rarity shrugged. “Nah, I think I’ll stay here. Get seventeen more dresses done in a montage or something. Or torment Rainbow Dash with the door some more. That could be fun…”

Twilight moved to the Mirror Portal. “Well, it was nice to meet you.”

Rarity smiled. “By the way, if I never see you again, I have a tip for you.”

“Huh?”

“Never be afraid to whip out the shackles.”

“Aaaand we’re leaving!” OJ said, walking through the portal first. Twilight agreed.

~~~

Da na naaaaaa.

In the world Flutterfree currently occupied, versions of Celestia and Luna sat in front of a window depicting Shining Armor and Cadence.

“Soooo…” Luna said. “In news that isn’t depressing, they’re erecting a statue of me in the courtyard to replace the Nightmare Moon statue.”

Celestia blinked. “Oh come on, that statue was amazing! You looked so awesome!”

“I looked evil!”

“But evil is awesome!”

Luna affixed Celestia with a Look.

“Luna, sister, listen to me. Awesomeness is not a ‘good’ or ‘evil’ trait, but it is nice. Think of it, if there were no evil awesomeness, why would I bother having so many nemeses? Why would I bother having any nemesis at all were evil not awesome?”

“One of your nemeses is Kevin Bacon and the other is a small dragon you can give indigestion at any given moment.”

“But Chrysalis! And Sombra! Those are evil awesome nemeses!”

“They are just terrifying and currently want us dead.”

“But that’s the point of having nemeses! There’s drama, there’s action, there’s... Well you know, it gives life some meaning.”

Luna raised an eyebrow. “I think it just makes things complicated. Like, you know, war.”

“You and I both know the war would have happened regardless.”

“Maybe if you didn’t find your evil adversaries so cool we could defeat them faster!”

“Luna, Luna, if we don’t treat our enemies with respect, they can surprise us. Come on, this is like, basic political stuff!”

“Oh, and like you know politics. You sent your generals a letter with important instructions and then purposefully got it lost in the mail. Why? To torment them with backstories!”

“But that was amazing!”

“You never even saw the results!”

“So? I can just imagine it… So succulent…”

“You know if they ever find out that it’s you, they’re going to be livid.”

“Pfffft, I doubt it. They’re kids, kids are forgiving. I’m like, their grandmother. Or something.”

“You clearly haven’t been around kids in a long time.”

“No, I’m pretty sure they’ll find it within their hearts to forgive me. Yet another reason children make good generals.”

“I can’t believe you…”

Silence fell over the two of them in the hall.

“So,” Celestia said. “…Been in any cool dreams lately?”

“Yeah, actually. I’ve been spending time in Fluttershy’s. Do you know what a Morph is?”

“…Morph?”

“Yeah. It’s apparently something that terrified her in her young age.”

“…What the heck’s a Morph?”

“I don’t know! I was asking you! It never appears in the dreams, and every time I ask her it ends up being annoyingly vague and mysterious.”

“…Huh. You know, I once met a creature that wa-“ A letter, sent by dragon, appeared in front of her face. “…If this is hate mail I will drop the sun on Ponyville.”

“Celestia! You can’t drop the sun on Ponyville! That’ll destroy the planet!”

“…I’ll just hold the sun over Ponyville, roast it alive…” She opened the letter and began to read it.

“You know, you’ve never gotten mail while standing at this window before. I wonder why.”

“Hmm…” Celestia said, examining the scroll. “Apparently Fluttershy has been replaced by a pony from another universe, Flutterfree. Looks exactly like her but doesn’t act or sound at all similar.”

“…Did the portal open again?”

“No, these descriptions don’t match the other world. For one, the changelings are good in their world. Reformed and everything.”

“I bet Rarity will be glad to hear that.”

“She was, apparently. Almost blew her cover to the complete stranger. Or did. Twilight’s wording here is a bit ambiguous… She has learned the art of politically correct wording well.”

“Unlike you.”

“I can be politically correct if I want! There’s just no reason to! Like, ever.”

“Celestia…”

“Anyway, I should probably reply to this… Tell them not to worry, keep her under wraps, yadda yadda…”

“Celestia, this sounds important. Maybe we should pay this Flutterfree a visit?”

“Luna, Luna, come on, do you think we need to get involved with some random pony from probably nowheresville? Seriously, we’ve got a war to deal with.”

“Celestia, we haven’t talked about the war all day, the Generals do most of the work, and I think you declared today ‘cake day’ so you couldn’t be bothered except with a national emergency.”

“Holy crap, that was today? Man, I’m wasting cake day staring at this window. What a shame.”

Luna just stared at her sister.

“No, we’re not going to pay them a visit. But you can help me write up the response, if you really want.”

“Yes, I would like that.”

“Good. Ahem. My bestest student of all time Twilight Sparkle…”

“Laying it on a bit thick, are we?”

“…Nah. She likes getting fake fancy titles. It’s like giving a dog treats.”

“Comparing your prized student to a dog isn’t exactly a compliment.”

“Oh, pfft, she understands.”

“…Sometimes I can’t understand your dynamic.”

“I thought that was always?”

Luna sighed. “…Yeah, it is. Let’s just write this letter…”

~~~

Flutterfree looked out the window at Ponyville. “This brings back memories. Every time I come to a Ponyville before Twilight’s castle showed up… It’s just nostalgic.”

“I can imagine,” Rarity said, standing next to her. “It’s like, um, seeing the good parts of your home, right?”

“Right. As the years have gone by I’ve had less and less attachment to home, but that attachment is still there. Always.”

“Yeah.”

“By the way, nice dress,” Flutterfree said, looking at the garment she was wearing. “It goes great with my hair.”

“Aw, don’t mention it. Hey, wanna try some spaghetti noodles?”

“Oh, I love spaghetti!”

“It’s not going to be the kind you’re used to,” Twilight said, not looking up from her book. “It’s a dish customary in the badlands. You bake the noodles. It makes no sense.”

The door of the boutique flew open, “I think the spaghetti noodles are amazing!” yelled a Sweetie Belle with the highest pitched voice Flutterfree had ever heard. “It’s cultural. Hi Rarity! What did you want to see me for?”

“Um, how did you get word so fast?”

Pinkie Pie poked her head out from around the doorframe. “Hey guys! I hope you don’t mind, I got Sweetie Belle here ahead of schedule!”

“…Don’t mind at all,” Twilight said, slow enough that Flutterfree noticed she was choosing her words carefully.

“Oh,” Rarity glanced at Twilight, Pinkie, and Flutterfree. “I just thought my little sister would find a pegasus from another universe interesting. Sweetie, Flutterfree. Flutterfree, Sweetie.”

“Pleased to meet you!” Sweetie said, grinning. Flutterfree smiled back.

“Oh!” Pinkie said, raising a hoof. “Before we get started, I think we should sort names out!”

“…Why?” Rarity asked.

“Because we’re dealing with copies of ourselves and we should deal with it now instead of when there’s seven Pinkies running around, or something. Yeah.” Pinkie coughed. “So, I’ve got names for all four of us. I’m Scooter, Sweetie can be Squeaky, Rarity, you’re Charity, and Twilight, you can be Twix.”

“I am very squeaky!” Squeaky Belle said, taking to the moniker like bread and butter.

“Um… Charity?” Charity said. “That’s a bit… Um… You know… Obvious?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Pinkie dismissed.

“I have a question,” Twix interjected. “Twix? Why Twix?”

“Twix, remember what I told you. Think. Scooter. Twix.”

Twix blinked. “Oh, right. That does make sense. But why can’t I be the Scooter and you be the Trix?”

“Because then I’d literally be Trixie or Pixie or something. And then you’d be what, Scootwi? Sparkoot? Trust me, Twix sounds better.”

Charity blinked. “Um, care to explain what you two are talking about?”

“Nope!” Scooter said, smiling nervously. “W-why would we need to? Just private stuff!”

“It’s okay,” Flutterfree said. “My Pinkie knows stuff too, and she can’t tell us everything. I understand.”

Scooter’s pupils shrunk to pinpricks. “She… she knows stuff? I can’t wait to meet her.”

“I think it’ll be good for her too, to have somepony to talk to. I can tell it stresses her out sometimes.”

Charity and Squeaky exchanged glances. “Are you three on some kind of in-joke, or something?” Squeaky asked.

“I guess you could say that?” Flutterfree said. “It’s not my place to say. I think you need to take it up with Scooter later.”

“Or not!” Scooter said. “That’s good too! We could just forget any of this happened!”

Flutterfree saw a line of white letters appear above Squeaky and Charity’s heads. Or we could talk about me!

Scooter shot Flutterfree a look and shook her head rapidly. Flutterfree got the message – the words (whatever they were) didn’t exist as far as Squeaky and Charity were concerned.

Twix hissed in Scooter’s ear. “Has he gone mad?”

“I think he’s just on vacation and it’s driving him a little nuts,” Scooter whispered back.

“What do you mean?”

“Um, well, I’ll explain later, the situation is a little different than normal.”

“That doesn’t make me feel very easy!”

“Shhhhh!”

Charity blinked. “Um… Are you two okay?”

“Fine!” Scooter said.

Twix rolled her eyes. “Fine as we can be. Anyway uh… Wait, why did you want Sweetie here again?”

Charity shrugged. “Um… No reason.”

Squeaky grinned. “Because alternate dimension pegasi are cool! Hey Flutterfree, do you know what happened to the other you?”

Flutterfree smiled. “I think she’s in my universe. Pretty sure she’s safe. I’ll return her to you the moment I figure out how to go home. There’s also a Sweetie Belle there! She’s all grown up, has her cutie mark and everything!”

“Oh. Cool.”

Flutterfree blinked. “…I was expecting more of a response. You are part of the Cutie Mark Crusaders in this universe, right?”

“Oh, yes, uh… Yah! Cutie marks! What was hers!? I gotta know!”

Flutterfree knew something was up at this point, but she answered anyway. “She got a crusader shield with a music note in a star. It represents her connection to her two friends and how they, together, can help other ponies with identity problems, usually relating to cutie marks.”

Squeaky raised an eyebrow. “Huh. Neat.”

Twix raised a hoof. “I have a question. How can you get a cutie mark in cutie marks?”

“You just do,” Scooter and Flutterfree said at the same time. Flutterfree giggled.

“That doesn’t make any sense!”

Squeaky glanced at Twix. “I thought Spike was the one who was supposed to ask those questions?”

“Well… Oh my god you have a point. I’m turning into him.”

Flutterfree giggled again. “Asking questions is good for the mind, I’ve found. Accepting things blindly only ends in pain.”

That remark prompted nervous and guilty glances to cross the room from everypony.

“Oh, sorry… Didn’t mean to dishearten anypony.”

“It’s okay,” Scooter said. “There’s just… A lot of stuff going on in this room that you’ve placed yourself riiiight in the middle of.”

“I got that. I also get that you’re all really stressed.” Flutterfree stood up. “As soon as Celestia’s instructions get back, I’m going to make it my mission to get you all to relax. I’m Flutterfree, Element of Kindness, and I’m out here to help ponies. I’m going to help you all. You’d be surprised how comforting a bunch of animals can be.”

Squeaky shook her head. “Okay, good with animals, that’s definitely new.”

“I wonder why your Fluttershy lives near so many animals…” Flutterfree wondered.

“I ask the same thing all the time!” Spike said, coming down the stairs. “By the way, letter from the princesses. Both of them.”

“Both? That’s unusual,” Twix said, taking the letter in her telekinesis. “Dear my bestest student of all time, Twilight Sparkle – heh – treat the visiting Flutterfree like we would any friend. Ensure word of her otherworldly origins do not spread to our enemies. Shouldn’t be hard at all, since you’re in Ponyville and not on the front lines, but don’t go broadcasting the information. We are sorry to say we cannot help her get home right now, but tell her that while she is here she will be treated just like she is our Element. You may want to check to see if she can wield the Element of Kindness in Fluttershy’s place. Also, tell Rarity this code: OP3469. Princess Celestia and Luna.” Twix rolled the scroll up. “So, uh, …Charity, did you get the code?”

Charity glanced at Squeaky, who nodded ever so slightly. “Um, yeah, I got it. Know exactly what to do. No I can’t tell you.”

Twix nodded. “So… Flutterfree! Want to check the Element of Kindness out?”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure it’ll work. I’ve worn Elements from other universes before. But it’d be nice, I haven’t had one around my neck in a while.”

Squeaky grinned. “You go have fun with that then! I’m going to go play with Bloom and Loo then!” She galloped out the door.

Scooter smiled. “So, animals, relaxing?”

Flutterfree nodded back. “I can get a nice picnic set up. You’ll all get a moment to unwind. I am your stress relief.”

Charity let out a relieved sigh. “That sounds… nice.”

~~~

“Twilight, oh Twilight…” Renee said, downing another Daiquiri. “Let me tell you about my Twilight. She’s a crazy neat-freak who… well let’s put it this way. Instead of turning away from a multiverse exploration mission when she lost her hearing, she kept going, driven by some crazy determination deep within her.”

Twilight chuckled. “Sounds like you have a similar determination.”

“I… Well yes I suppose I do, but…” she stretched her neck. “But nothing, I guess.”

“But nothing indeed.”

“…Got anything interesting in this house?”

“I’ve got a mysterious key in a drawer over there, but that’s all I can think of right now besides a million books.”

“Mysterious key?”

“Yeah. I started to get this strange sense of déjà vu one day, and this key was around just when it started happening. I have no idea what the deal with it is.” Twilight lit her horn, pulling the small golden key out of the drawer. “Here it is, the mysterious key.”

Renee stared at it in silence for a few seconds. She rubbed her head. “I think I’ve had too much to drink…”

Twilight set the key on the table. “Are you kidding? You’re not drunk yet.”

“That’s the point. Getting actually drunk isn’t good for anypony’s image. Particularly Rainbow Dash.”

“Your Rainbow Dash has an image? Mine’s just a stupid buffoon who can barely read and doesn’t understand right from left and, oh, get this, breaks her limbs every other day! I think she literally doesn’t have the capability to learn. I don’t even know why I bother with her.”

The two of them heard a whimper come from the front door. They turned to see Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy standing in the room with them.

“Oh,” Renee said, biting her lip. “Rainbow, darling, Twilight here is just a little drunk and-“

Rainbow Dash was clearly fighting back tears. “I – I know. It’s just the alcohol talking! I should believe that right?”

“Yes. You should,” Twilight said, trying to keep her face as straight as possible.

“But... But what about all those other times I hear about! Or those times you called me an idiot to my face! Or worse! Or…”

“I think we need to stop yelling and remember that we’re all friends here…” Fluttershy muttered.

“Yes, what Fluttershy said,” Renee asserted.

“But… But I’m upset!” Rainbow Dash whined.

“Dash, why do you even care what I think, it’s hardly news to you,” Twilight muttered – then burped. “Ugh… I make it no secret that I think all of you are pretty much huge wastes of my time and that, most days, I wish I could be just about anywhere else.”

“Twilight!” Renee gasped. “Think about what you’re saying!”

“I am thinking just fine Rarity.”

“Renee.”

“Whatever.”

“Wait, now I’m confused,” Rainbow Dash said. “Rarity, did you change your name.”

“No, I-“

“Don’t bother,” Twilight muttered. “She’s too stupid to understand.”

“I am not!” Rainbow Dash blurted.

“Dash, I agree with Twilight here,” Fluttershy said, barely loud enough to be heard. “I’m not even sure what’s going on…”

“Fluttershy! You… Traitor! I’m going to fly away and… And… And be mad for a while!” She spread her wings and flew out a window, shattering all the glass on her way out.

“Third time this month…” Twilight muttered, ramming her face into the table.

Fluttershy blinked. “I’ll… Uh… Go now, if… If that’s alright with you…”

“Fluttershy, stay a moment, will you?” Renee said, waving her over. “What did you two want before that… incident?”

“Well, we wanted to ask Twilight for a book about insurance, because half of Dash’s house exploded recently.”

“Ah,” Renee said. “I’m sure Twilight can help you. Twilight?”

“Mmm?”

“This is your version of the pony I was telling you about, Fluttershy.”

“…Who?”

Renee blinked. “Our sixth Element of Harmony, Kindness? The yellow pegasus I was talking about?”

“Uh.” Twilight squinted. “Oh. You. Nice to meet… you.”

Renee raised an eyebrow. “For someone who claims to be organized you have a terrible memory.”

“I can remember things!”

“Right, so, what was this pony’s element again?”

“…Understanding?”

“You wish,” Renee said, rolling her eyes. “Fluttershy, do you think you can find the book without her?”

“Probably. It’d be faster. Every time I’m in a room she forgets I exist within ten minutes. It’s just a fact of life…”

“I… I do not!” Twilight blurted. “I… Uh…” She stared at her beer bottle. “Man I think I need another drink.”

“Twilight, you’re on your third bottle.”

“I’m not drunk enough for this.”

“I’ll just go look for that book now…” Fluttershy said, sliding away. “You two continue drinking… I’ll be fine not being involved…”

“Fluttershy, come back, I insi-“

Fluttershy apparently decided she needed to get out of there. She flew out the window Rainbow Dash had busted.

Renee blinked. “…That pony is more skittish than Flutterfree ever was.”

Twilight looked up from her bottle. “Huh? What? Who were we talking about?”

Renee shook her head. “Twilight Sparkle, I see a good mare somewhere inside of you, struggling under that harsh exterior and apathetic attitude.”

“Oh boy, here comes the speech.”

“Not a speech. Just an observation. If you actually tried caring about others a little more, maybe life wouldn’t be so… oh, what’s the word? Bleh? Yes, that’s it. Life wouldn’t be so bleh anymore.”

“Clearly, you’ve never experienced the agony of ‘friendship studies’.”

Renee smirked. “Dear, me and my friends are a result of friendship studies.”

Sweetie Belle walked back into the library, breathing hard. “I… I’m back!”

Renee smiled sadly. “Ah, Sweetie. Where were you?”

Sweetie noticed Thrackerzod walking up the street behind her. “Just checking out town. I saw Rainbow Dash fly from over here. What’s she like?”

Renee bit her lip. “Well… She has sub-standard intelligence and is easily wounded. A bit childish, actually. Twilight lost all sense of tact and insulted her out of the library.”

“Oh,” Sweetie said, glancing at Twilight. “That bad, huh?”

“Why does this have to happen today?” Twilight muttered as Thrackerzod walked back in. “Why can’t the universe decide I just need one problem to deal with today? Here I was, actually letting myself have a good time with another pony and it just explodes because, apparently, I’m not allowed to talk!”

Renee’s gaze softened. “Darling, it’s like I said. Maybe you just need to care a bit more.”

“Did I ask for life advice?”

“No,” Thrackerzod said. “But wouldn’t only giving advice when it is asked for mean you miss all the times when people don’t know there’s a problem?”

Everypony stared at her.

“I mean… I like getting life advice all the time! It brings me and my friends closer together!”

Twilight rammed her head into the table again. “I hate all this friendship nonsense… How could this day possibly get any worse…”

The front door was disintegrated by a bolt of fire this time. Twilight was prepared to complain about her house getting beat up again, but then she realized who was at the door. The tall, powerful, white form of Celestia towered over them, her expression one of an alicorn ready to smite somepony for the slightest offense. She spoke with an authoritative, powerful, deadly tone that drove all four ponies in the room to cower in fear – including Thrackerzod.

“Twilight Sparkle, my student, I have detected a large amount of otherworldly energy in Ponyville today. Once or twice would have been a minor annoyance to write to you about, but there have been consistent surges of the beyond in Ponyville. And yet, I have received no letter from you, no report of any kind, and the letters I’ve been sending you apparently haven’t been making it through. So, here I am, and what do I see? A complete lack of that dragon who should be with you at all times and fraternization with what is clearly an interdimensional incursion. How do you think this makes me feel Twilight?”

“P-p-princess! I-I did not know an interd-dimensional incursion was something to write you about! H-had I known it was I would have clearly written you a letter the moment I’d gotten the incursion under contro-“

“I will listen to your excuses later, Twilight. I assure you, it will be an extremely long and taxing discussion that will determine the future state of your entire life. Though I will say that your drunkenness may make it slightly more bearable, depending on which way your spontaneous idiocy swings. But for now…”

Renee stepped forward. “Yes?”

“You’re not bowing.”

“Apologies, your majesty,” Renee said, taking off her hat and lowering her head to the floor. “I am but a humble traveler, hopping from universe to universe. My name is Renee, and I am currently lost in this universe due to unknown reasons, and was discussing with Twilight here possibilities of returning me and my sister home. This is Sweetie Belle, my sister, who came with me. That’s just Thrackerzod, native to your universe – I do not know if you knew that already or not, but I don’t want you placing any blame you place on us onto her.”

“You speak well, Renee,” Celestia asserted. “I’m inclined to believe you – and in fact have little reason not to. Some of what you say is evident, and your demeanor is in line with your story. And you have managed not to offend me, which is a prize few can take.”

Twilight looked between Celestia and Renee like she couldn’t believe the exchange that was happening between the two of them.

Renee stood up from her bow, looking Celestia in the eyes. “Your majesty, may I ask a question?”

“You may.”

“Do you have the means to send us home? Or any knowledge of other universes?”

“Some. I do not know which world you hail from.”

“I know the spell to return directly to my world, I just lack the power within myself to do such a spell.”

Celestia nodded. “I am aware. If you start the spell, I will be able to complete it with ease.”

“The question then is…” Renee adjusted her hat. “Will you?”

Celestia smiled. The expression was apparently enough to make Twilight shiver in fear. “What kind of god would I be if I did not help a pony in need?”

Renee nodded slowly. “Well then… We could try it now.”

“I see no reason to wait,” Celestia agreed.

Renee cast the spell, Celestia completed it, and... nothing happened.

“…Oh, bother. It appears this universe doesn’t have a direct connection. I’m sorry for wasting your magic.”

“As you should be,” Celestia confirmed. “I may have another solution. There is a flow of energy present in the world that was not present before the interdimensional activity began. I can edit your spell to produce a gateway through that flow of activity. It will not take you home, but it may take you somewhere you can get home from. You two can leave me to deal with… my subjects.”

Twilight was positive Celestia stared right at her when she said that, but in reality she was staring right at Thrackerzod. And Thrackerzod knew it. A string of eldritch swears went off in her head. She had to think of something fast…

“That would be a boon greater than we deserve,” Renee said, bowing again.

“Most definitely,” Celestia asserted, casting the spell. A crisp yellow ring appeared in the air, leading to a Ponyville where the Library did not exist. “There you are. Another world to enter.”

“Thank you, your highness,” Renee said.

Sweetie blinked. “So, what, we’re just going to leave? Just like that?”

Renee nodded. “Yes. Celestia needs to deal with her subjects, Sweetie. We don’t want to be here when that happens.”

“Oooooooh.”

“And Twilight?” Renee said, turning to the unicorn.

“Y-yes?”

“After… this, think about what I said. You might find something new in life.”

“S-sure! Whatever you say, Renee!”

Renee and Sweetie Belle stepped through the portal. Celestia allowed it to close.

At the last possible second, Thrackerzod teleported through the portal to the other universe.

“Damn!” Celestia cursed, “the demon escaped!”

“Wh-what?” Twilight said, looking around. “Did that kid just teleport? Did you just… What? I don’t understand – but I’m willing to learn! Definitely willing to learn!”

“Twilight, you do not realize it yet, but soon you will come to understand just how badly you’ve screwed up every conceivable thing. It’s so far off the rails that I will get little enjoyment from watching you squirm for your life.”

Twilight gulped.

~~~

“So…” Sweetie Bot said, trotting alongside Fluttershy. “What actually summons the Great and Powerful Smooze?”

“Lord Smooze, young one,” Fluttershy responded with a calm, soft, musical voice. “Lord Smooze is not a showpony, but the savior and cleanser of all things. And every single part of this ritual is important, passed down from the first of our order.”

“But what actually summons the Smooze? I am one-hundred percent sure that the mathematically sound dancing and perfect purple robes are important, but there has to be one part that actually ends the ceremony, bringing on Lord Smooze!”

“Oh my, you are such an inquisitive little one! I am afraid the central step of the ritual is a secret, to prevent gypsies like Pinkie from trying to stop us with their unnatural magic. We just cannot risk it.”

“But… But I’m Rarity's sister.”

“And while I do not doubt your devotion to your elder sibling, she is the reason the ritual failed last time.”

“…I thought I was the one who ruined it by desecrating the desecrated raccoon?”

“You did not know what our order needed, you were forgiven. But she spent the day with you instead of with us, and pushed our plans back considerably. Perhaps this was for the better – after all, you are with us now – but I still can’t take the chance. I’m sorry.”

“Entering disappointed failure mode…”

“Oh, don’t be like that! You can still help. Here, I’ll tell you something interesting. See that great pit in the center of the clearing? That is the pit Lord Smooze will erupt from and cover the entire world with his holy goop. One of the steps involves the ritual dumping of all those buckets of paint. We wouldn’t be able to complete it without them.” She turned to look Sweetie Bot directly in the eyes. “Remember that now, Sweetie.”

“I will!” Sweetie Bot said, grinning. “Success sequence initiated!” She began to do a happy dance.

“Mhm. Yes,” Fluttershy said. “Now go run along, the ritual isn’t until the eclipse actually starts.”

“Yay! Rarity! Hey Rarity! I did something amazing!”

Rarity looked up from the raccoon she was skinning. “Hrm? What is it, Sweetie Belle?”

“I am going to do something great for you! I love you so much!”

“Mhm, yes…” Rarity said, continuing to skin the raccoon. “Don’t go dragging me off to a strange obstacle course now, you hear?”

“I would never do that again! It is saved on the list of things never to do again, beep boop!”

Rarity smiled at her sister. “Yes… Yes it is.” She gave her little sister a hug. “You know, it means a lot to me that you’re here with me. We’ll get to appreciate the glory of Smooze together!”

“Er… Yeah! That’s definitely what’s going to happen! Affirmative!”

“Sweetie, do you have a surprise for me? I can tell when you have a surprise, you know!”

“Yeah! I do! But it’s a surprise, so turn off your eyes until then!”

“Sweetie, I do have to prepare for the ritual. But I won’t pry. I can’t wait to see what it is.”

“Hooray for Rarity, number one sister!”

“Mm, yes…” Rarity said, turning back to her work.

It was then that Acorna decided to teleport Sweetie Bot back. “Aha! My plan worked to perfection!”

“Yes, yes it did,” Pinkie said, rolling her eyes. “Hey, Sweetie! Did you find out what we need?”

“Yeah! The buckets of paint! They can’t complete the ritual without them!”

Acorna looked at the buckets of paint clearly stacked near the edge of the clearing. “I’ve got them in my sights! Prepare for a destructive laser!”

Pinkie facehooved. “Just teleport them here, don’t draw too much attention. I mean, they’re probably all pretty dumb, but I think they’ll notice a giant explosion.”

Acorna glared at Pinkie.

“Remember, it was your idea to do this.”

“Oh. Right, yes. Ahem. Begone, buckets!” With a flash of her magic, the buckets were suddenly on their hill and not in the clearing with the cult. “There, all good. The ritual won’t complete. I’ve saved Equestria again!”

“Yay!” Sweetie Bot said, clapping her hooves together. “What do we do now?”

Pinkie shrugged. “I dunno, actually. Oh!” She pulled a camera out of her mane. “Let’s take pictures of their faces when they fail!”

“Priceless!” Acorna said. “I can’t wait to go down there and rub my victory in their faces!”

“That’s one way to do it,” Pinkie said.

“Can I go back down there and be with my sister?” Sweetie Bot asked.

“I don’t see why not,” Pinkie said. “Unless something unexpected ha-“ She shoved a hoof over her mouth, but it was too late. She had invoked Murphy’s Law.

Which, in this case, turned out to not be so much ‘the worst thing’ and more of ‘the unexpected thing.’

Charter-Twilight, OJ, and Jack walked up to them. Twilight grinned. “I thought I sensed a dimensional device! Hey Pinkie!”

“Hey Twilight!” Pinkie said, hugging her. “How was the Ultra Fast universe?”

“Is that what it is?” Twilight said, rubbing her chin. “It was a little strange, and sometimes infuriating, but it’s nice enough. I made some friends! This is OJ and Jack.”

OJ waved a hoof. Jack nodded with dignity.

Pinkie grinned. “This is Acorna and Sweetie B… Just Sweetie. No special name.”

Acorna took a step forward, measuring herself up to Twilight. They were the same size, but Acorna’s hairstyle was clearly less interesting than Twilight’s. Acorna lacked the uneven coat that was telling of scars, and her ears were plain.

Acorna narrowed her eyes. “Hello Twilight…”

“Hello!” Twilight said, shaking Acorna’s hoof. “Pleased to meet you! If you think calling me Twilight is weird, just call me Charter.”

“I prefer Charlie,” Jack commented. “By the way, Acorna, what’s the Apple family like here? Do they have any… side businesses?”

“Applejack, you’re supposed to know, you live there.”

“Ah. So yer a moron too. Sorry Ah thought otherwise of ya.”

Twilight nudged Jack. “Jack, be nice. We don’t know anything about this world.”

Pinkie shrugged. “All I know for sure is that we stopped the Smooze from being summoned down there. It would have been bad if it was. Oh! I know witchcraft now! It’s awesome!”

“Cool! Does this mean I can teach you spells now?”

“Eh, more like Zecora stuff than unicorn magic, but maybe? I haven’t really tried much, spent all my time spying on the Smooze cult.”

“Sounds like you’ve had an eventful stay. All I’ve had is a bunch of talking, pointless banter, and some friend making.”

“Also she owes me thirty bits,” Jack said.

“Ten, and you know it.”

Pinkie raised an eyebrow. “I dunno Twilight, it could be thirty…”

“Pinkie that’s not helping!”

Jack smirked, putting a hoof on Pinkie. “Charlie, let me tell you how much I appreciate your Pinkie. As much as your forty bit debt.”

Pinkie giggled. “I’m sure appreciated!”

“Traitor,” Twilight grunted.

Acorna shoved herself into the conversation. “I bet she actually owes… fifty bits! Yes! Also, she’s ugly.”

Jack raised an eyebrow. “What threw ya out of bed this mornin’?”

Acorna rammed her muzzle into Twilight’s. “An imposter, that’s what. Trying to steal my glory. There can only be one pretty pony princess and that princess is ME!”

“You’re going to be very disappointed to find that there are thousands of Princess Twilight Sparkles out there. I’m just one that likes to travel universes a lot.”

“Yeah, well, you, uh… You’re evil! I know it!”

Twilight blinked, unimpressed. “Pinkie, where’d you find this one?”

“She found me. I protested. It didn’t stop happening.”

“Fun.”

Away from the four ponies involved in the argument that couldn’t settle on a topic, Sweetie Bot and OJ sat on the edge of the hill.

“So, you’re Sweetie?” OJ said. “Nice. I’ve never known a Sweetie that well.”

“I’ve never seen you at all! You look like you’re on fire! So many health hazard alarms are blaring in my mind after making that connection.”

OJ smiled. “You have an interesting voice, you know that?” Twilight caught this comment out of the corner of her eyes. Out of curiosity, she turned on her ears.

“I’m told it will take me far some day!” Sweetie Bot said. “Sweetie Belle, great singer extraordinaire!”

OJ put a hoof around her. “It’s nice to have something going for you. I… Don’t have much. I used to be evil, but now I’m good, and everyone still hates me.”

“I don’t hate you,” Sweetie Bot said, returning the hug. “I’ve only known you for like three minutes and I’ve already decided you’re cool! That should mean something!”

OJ smiled. “Yeah, it does. Twilight was like that as well. But… Well, I still feel like I want to do something. I’ve tried to make up for what I’ve done, but I just keep screwing it up. I’m… Well, I’m useless.”

“I’m sure you can do something good if you just tried! I always thought I ruined so many things, but today I saved the day! My sister is going to live and the Smooze has been stopped!”

“Yeah… You got lucky though. What am I going to do? Sit here and wait for something to go wrong I can fix?”

“Probably! I bet you’ll be amazing at whatever it is!”

OJ hugged the filly close. “Thank you, Sweetie.”

“Don’t mention it! My encouragement skills are at maximum!”

Twilight broke herself away from the argument to look at Sweetie Bot. “Your voice is a really interesting one, Sweetie. It sounds synthetic. Does that mean anything?”

“Aren’t you deaf?” Jack asked.

“Turned the artificial ears on out of curiosity. There’s something really curious about Sweetie’s voice.”

Pinkie’s ears perked up. “Ahahhahaha – how about we talk about anything else?”

Jack raised an eyebrow. “Huh, Twilight’s right, her voice does sound kinda artificial. Like a machine or something.”

Pinkie facehooved. “What did I just say!?”

Acorna’s expression became darkened. She glanced at Sweetie Bot. “…There’s no way.”

Sweetie Bot glanced around. “No way what? What was that about my voice? Am I not operating within normal parameters?”

OJ blinked. “I thought it was obvious. She’s clearly a robot of some kind.”

“Okay, that’s cool,” Twilight said. “I don’t think I’ve seen a robot that looks that much like a pony before.”

Jack smiled. “If Ah could copy her I could send ponies to their death more often…”

Pinkie laughed nervously. “Ignore them! There’s no robots here! Not at all!”

Acorna looked right at Sweetie Bot, horn algow. “Sweetie…”

“I am definitely not a Robot!” Sweetie Belle shouted. “Robots don’t have souls! Robots have difficulty expressing true emotions! I love my sister!”

Pinkie put a bucket of paint over Acorna’s horn. “Oh look at me, being a silly prankster, stopping whatever magic she was doing!”

Twilight looked at Pinkie and understood what was going on. She turned off her ears. “Pinkie! You prankster! Hey, can you tell us about the time we had that whole paint fiasco on Hearth’s Warming? Oh, those were fun times…”

Acorna wasn’t listening to them. She removed the bucket from her head, magically cleaned herself up, and cast a simple scan spell on Sweetie Bot. Acorna grinned. “Oh, would you look at that. No soul. You are a robot.”

Sweetie Bot stamped her foot on the ground. “No! No I am not! I love my sister! I-“

Acorna cast a simple spell that tore a hole in Sweetie Bot’s leg, revealing not blood, but complex circuitry. Sweetie Bot couldn’t stop staring at it.

“ACORNA!” Pinkie yelled. “You… You… YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN ROBOTS DISCOVER THEIR TRUE NATURE?”

Acorna’s smug smile vanished. “…Oh.”

Sweetie Bot’s eyes went red and two dozen guns unfolded from her robotic back, pointing at the five ponies. Her face was that of unbridled, uncontrollable rage. She screamed.

Then things started exploding.

~~~

Renee turned around, happy to see Thrackerzod behind them. “Oh, good, you got out of there.”

“You… wanted me to come with you?” Thrackerzod said, cocking her head.

“Of course! Celestia clearly wanted you dead for… some reason – probably because of whatever you are – but from what I know of you, you don’t deserve it. Now we just hope she doesn’t follow us… I gambled that since she wanted us gone, if you followed she would consider it a win.”

“...I just wanted to see the other world, that is all.”

“Thrackerzod, I saw you summon Hastur and talk about killing Twilight Sparkle and grabbing her soul for some weird game,” Sweetie Belle said. “The jig is up!”

“Wait, what?” Renee said, baffled. “That happened?”

“Yeah, I followed Zod when she sneaked out. It was… A little disturbing, but Hastur seemed agreeable enough, and Applebloom and Scootaloo were there. It was… Interesting. I should come on adventures more often!”

“That is not the response I would expect from you…” Renee said, shaking her head. She turned to Thrackerzod. “Is this true?”

“I assure you, I am a perfectly nor-“

“Dear, for whatever reason everypony in your universe except Celestia bought your act, but we knew something was up the moment we met you. We’re not going to hold… Whatever you are against you unless it clearly becomes a problem. For one I’d rather you didn’t kill Twilight Sparkle.”

Thrackerzod coughed. “If I were to be part of such a nefarious plan – which I am not – I would not be able to do anything an entire universe away. Such things would be beyond even a minor deity’s capabilities. …Yes.”

Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow. “Nobody believes you.”

Renee shrugged. “She’s clearly been at this her whole life. Just let her do it. She’ll open up eventually. Until then, we just need to keep an eye on he-“

“Woah! Rarity, you’re really good at getting through that door without me noticing!” a Rainbow Dash said as she flew up to them. “I thought staring at it harder than before would keep you in there, but you eluded me yet again!”

Renee blinked took in a mildly annoyed breath. “...I am not your Rarity.”

“Rarity, I don’t own you, don’t be stupid!”

“Rainbow, ponies can’t own each other.”

“But you own Fluttershy! I think. Or was that the other way around? I can never remember.”

Renee blinked. “Huh?”

“Yeah, me too, I hate that guy.”

Renee looked to Sweetie and Thrackerzod for help.

Sweetie cleared her throat. “What my sister means to say is, we aren’t the ponies you know.”

Rainbow Dash chuckled. “Oh, I knew that.”

“You did?”

“Yeah! I’m, like, a goldfish? Like, I can’t remember anypony for more than a few seconds. Who are you again?”

“Sweetie Belle.”

“Oh! I remember you. You’re smaller than I remember…”

Sweetie Belle turned to Thrackerzod. Thrackerzod sighed. “Greetings, citizen of this fair town, I am a completely normal unicorn from another phase of existence! My name is Thrackerzod! I implore you to inform us of the status of your friends, so they may speak with us as opposed to you!”

“Oh, sweet! I heard a lot of big words in that sentence!”

“That was more than one sentence.”

“What was that word you said? The thing right before sentence?”

“…One?”

“…What the heck is ‘one’?”

“We’ve officially failed,” Thrackerzod said. “Time to pack our bags and hope Celestia finds a way to kill us before this imbecile does it with her words.”

“But I already packed you a lunch, Thrackerzod! …Wait, no, that was my lunch. Ohmygod I forgot my lunch at home!” She looked into the sky. “Aaaa! Where is my home!?”

Thrackerzod blinked. “…I have seen many things in this life. I… What is before me is the riddle to end all riddles, the puzzle for even the Oldest of Old Ones. You, Rainbow Dash, are the enigma of all phenomena.”

“Aw, you’re makin’ me blush.”

“…Weren't you worried about your house a moment ago?” Sweetie asked.

“I have a house?”

Renee let out a loud groan. “Okay! Okay, this is taxing. Let’s find another pony to talk to.”

“Hey, broo!” the native Pinkie Pie said, appearing from nowhere. “I’m another pony!”

“Any pony but a Pinkie Pie,” Renee said, turning tail.

“Aw, no fair broo! I’ve got a more sensical train of thought than Rainbow Dash! You can talk to me!”

“Hey, no fair!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “Your thoughts get a train?”

“Yeah broo! Everypony has a train! Yours is just in space, for some reason.”

“Y’know, knowing you, I thought you’d say it was in hell or something.”

“Oh, that can be arranged,” Pinkie chuckled. “By the way, hello interdimensional travelers, I’m Pinkie Pie! But you can call me Dinkie if you want!”

Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow. “Why Dinkie?”

“Cause… reasons!” She leaned closer to Thrackerzod. “Special reasons!”

Thrackerzod lit her horn, and her eyes widened. “Oho… This is a pleasant surprise…”

Renee shot Thrackerzod a questioning look before returning to Dinkie. “So, Dinkie, can you tell us anything?”

“What, me? Oh I don’t know anything, sorry broo! I think Rarity might know something though!”

“Pinkie, Rarity’s right there! You’re talking to her!” Rainbow Dash said. “Man, I thought I was stupid.”

Sweetie Belle facehooved. “Dinkie, where can we find Rarity?”

“She should be at Twilight’s castle!” Dinkie said. “Probably looking for a cactus.”

“Why does she need another one?” Rainbow Dash asked. “She totally ruined the one I gave her…”

“Yeah, she tends to do that.”

Renee took a breath. “Well… it was an... event, meeting you two, but we should go see Rarity.”

“Oh I see the problem!” Rainbow Dash hit herself in the head. “Duh, you can’t see yourself, so you can’t see Rarity! It all makes so much sense now! I’m a genius!”

Dinkie blinked. “Yeah, broo, you are.”

Renee led Sweetie and Thrackerzod to Twilight’s castle. For the briefest of moments, Thrackerzod lit her horn and looked right at Dinkie. Dinkie nodded subtly, bouncing away.

It took Rainbow Dash five minutes to realize there was nopony to talk to anymore.

At Twilight’s castle, Renee walked in the front doors. “Hello? Rarity?”

Sitting on a chair in the middle of the hall, there was a Rarity twirling a knife on her hoof, the tip digging into her limb ever so slightly. “Oh! Hello there, Phil said you’d come by.” She dropped the knife, walking over to them. “What brings another me and her sisters here to little ol’ me? Come to rough me up, perhaps?”

“Ah… No.” Renee said, slightly taken aback by the strong accent that was probably Australian, not that she was very familiar with such things. Frankly, she was used to odd voices at this point. “We were told you might know… Uh…”

“We just wanted to get away from your Rainbow Dash and Pinkie,” Sweetie Belle said.

“They were suffocating our group dynamic!” Thrackerzod added.

“…Sure,” Renee said. “To be frank, I’m not sure why I’m here.”

“Well,” Rarity said, putting a hoof to her chin. “If you were me, I’d be here looking for somepony to slap me across the face that would understand exactly how I feel about it…”

Renee took in a breath. “Darling, I won’t judge you, but please realize I am the furthest thing from a masochist.”

“Huh. You know, I haven’t heard the word in a while. Feels liberating to hear it spoken out loud…”

Renee facehooved. “Ugh… What is it with my alternates…”

“Well, maybe it’s just because we’re the type of pony that can be… Oh I don’t know the word…”

“Corrupted?” Thrackerzod suggested.

“Yes! Corrupted. That’s it. We’re corruptible, darling.”

Renee sighed, pulling her hat up a little. “Yes, I suppose that is true… Anyway, you seem to have some knowledge of what’s going on. Do you have any idea how to get us home?”

“Nope!”

“Worth a shot.”

Rarity smirked. “I do know where your Twilight is. She went to another universe through our Mirror Portal. She’s even got a note for you on the back of that chair.”

Renee galloped to the chair and ripped the page off the back of the chair. My friends, this is Charter-Twilight. I’m trying to find a way home, but it may not work. You can follow me through the Mirror Portal or by using the spell outlined below. I’m doing fine, made some new friends. I hope to see you all soon!

Renee smiled, rolling up the paper. “Rarity, where is your Mirror Portal?”

“It’s in the back wing. I tried to move it when I knew you were going to show up, but not even a montage could safely move that thing. Right this way!”

She led the three of them to the Mirror Portal, gesturing toward it with a hoof. “Behold! The doorway to further adventure, and your friend!”

Renee looked at Sweetie. “Looks like we might be getting out of here sooner rather than later.”

“I sure hope so,” Sweetie said. “This is already getting pretty weird.”

“The weirdness has been doubled,” Thrackerzod deadpanned.

Rarity raised an eyebrow. “…Yeah, I don’t think that worked.”

“I found it funny,” Thrackerzod huffed. “Can we go now? Places to go, things to do, all that.”

Renee smiled. “Sure.” They stepped through a portal to another universe…

~~~

Dinkie placed a chicken in the basement of Sugarcube Corner, right in front of the form of Vriska, still imprisoned.

“…Why are you showing me this chicken?”

Dinkie grinned. “This, broo, is one of Fluttershy’s many chickens. She will be giving us what we need to make a sacrifice of innocence!” She began to draw a yellow mark in the ground.

Vriska raised an eyebrow. “Why do we need an innocence sacrifice?”

“Because I got some amazing instructions from a higher demon from another sect! And it sounds cool! I’m going to contact her boss and create a great demon army!”

“For what?”

“I think we’re killing a Twilight Sparkle in a special way, I’ll get more info from the yellow broo.” She stared right at the chicken. “Your life is worthless, little chicken!”

Nothing happened.

“Come on… Uh… Broo! Broo! Chicken broo! If you keep not losing innocence, you’ll be sent to the butchering shop! Uh… Your friends don’t like you – wait do chickens even have friends?”

Vriska sighed. “You’re doing it wrong. Hey! Chicken!”

The chicken turned to stare at Vriska with rapt attention.

“You are nothing but a fucking pathetic animal in a huge world where giving a shit will only flatten you for trying. Your only purpose to the beings that run this world is either to lay eggs or eventually be turned into fried chicken, sold at some fast food restaurant for a few dollars. Your father and mother were likely eaten in much the same way, and most of your children will be smashed into those pastries – some of which I’m sure you’ve nibbled on occasionally. Cannibal.”

Hastur popped out of the glyph in the ground. “Who has summoned me?”

Dinkie bowed. “I am but a lowly demon servant, Dinkie, sent here by Thrackerzod to report on complications. This is Vriska. She’s really good at making chicken innocence sacrifices.”

Vriska would have folded her arms with pride were her hands not tied behind her back at the moment. “I’m pretty sweet, yeah.”

“What happened that Thrackerzod cannot contact me herself? Do not tell me that the nut-head got wind of her. Or that her mortal shell has perished and she is currently fighting her way through the halls of undeath.”

“No, broo, nothing that bad! Well, maybe that bad, I don’t really know what’s going on that well, all I know is that I’m going to get to summon a lot of demons for you.

“Provide a good reason to give you access and it shall be granted. Also, that’s a pretty nice cloak there, deity.”

“Thank you,” Vriska said.

“Why do you let this pony imprison you so? Powerful though she is, you easily have the power within you to drain her.”

“I’m interested to see where this goes. That’s pretty much it.”

Dinkie cleared her throat. “So, apparently Thrackerzod was made by Princess Celestia. She bailed to my universe, but is currently under the watch of some interdimensional travelers – Renee and Sweetie Belle - so she can’t exactly talk to you without raising suspicion. She did manage to send a message to my brain though! Her plan is to use the new nature of the contract to summon a demon army from here, and shunt it through a portal to there, for a surprise attack Celestia won’t see coming, nor be able to stop even with her power! The Twilight in the contract will fall and the mission will be completed!”

“An adequate plan, especially for one constructed in such a hurry. There are complications though, not the least of which is the deity you have tied up behind me. She has a soul-connection to the interdimensional travelers, and likely will interfere. I understand that, at the moment, she will promise not to interfere, but I also understand that promises mean next to nothing to her.”

“Eh, you’re not wrong,” Vriska admitted.

“Glad you’re not too offended. I would like to ask you out for a drink later, but there are more pressing matters.”

“Clearly. By the way, I say go for the demon army. It’ll be cool, and you know I probably won’t be able to stop it. If you really want to be sure, why don’t you just stay here? You have enough power to match me.”

“The nut-head is watching. If I leave for any significant amount of time, I will be found out, and he could ruin everything.”

“I hate those bastards…” Vriska muttered, clenching her fists.

“They do have a habit of impeding the efforts of many.”

“Am I gonna get to summon a demon army or not broo?” Dinkie demanded.

Hastur folded his fingers together. “…Yes. The more time Celestia and Twilight have to prepare, the less likely we will ever get a chance to take her soul without alerting my superiors – and we do not want to get them involved for any reason at all.”

“Who are your superiors, by the way?” Vriska asked. “You seem a little too organized for run-of-the-mill eldritch abominations.”

“None of your concern, deity, at least not at the moment.”

“Fiiiine,” Vriska said, leaning onto her side. “Can you get to the demon summoning already? I want to see it.”

Dinkie held out her hooves, asking Hastur for the power. He snapped his fingers, and eldritch energy shot into her hooves. “Do not abuse this power, I could smite you in a single instant from three universes away.”

“You can count on me, Hastur!” Dinkie said, saluting.

Hastur vanished, leaving Dinkie and Vriska alone. Dinkie set to work on the demonic army…

~~~

Flutterfree’s picnic was just as enjoyable as she said it would be. Scooter, Twix, and Charity really enjoyed having a dozen fluffy bunnies ready to be petted and stroked at a moment’s notice – it was just so cute. Flutterfree had made the sandwiches and the fruit bowl herself, carefully arranged to be as pleasing as possible. These three ponies were going to let off some much needed stress, and it was working pretty well. Twix was taking a nap surrounded by the rabbits, Charity was savoring the delicious sandwiches and talking about how they even made her ‘spaghetti noodles’ pale in comparison. Scooter was ever alert, and much calmer than the Pinkie Fluterfree knew, but even she allowed herself to have a nice relax surrounded by fluffy animals, staring into the sky, studying clouds.

“You know…” she said. “I don’t think I realized how much I stress myself out over nothing all the time.”

“Oh?” Flutterfree pried.

“Well, I know that everything will turn out fine in the end – at least I’m reasonably sure – but I rarely worry about that. I worry about all the little things. The things I know, the things I don’t know, whether or not I should try to know…”

“It is a large burden.”

“How does your Pinkie deal with all of it? If you know, that is.”

“I think she just enjoys every day as it comes. She occasionally says things… She knows something terrible is going to happen, eventually. But she doesn’t let it bother her much – she just enjoys us. The feeling of being together.”

“…Yeah, talking vague like this, while nice, doesn’t really cut it.”

“I can imagine.”

“I hope she shows up soon…”

Flutterfree smirked. “You know she’ll show up eventually, don’t you?”

“I will neither confirm nor deny that suspicion.”

“Um,” Charity called. “What are you two talking about over there? Are you ignoring me?”

“Sorry!” Flutterfree said, turning her attention back to the white unicorn. “What were you talking about?”

“Um, well, I wanted to know if animals bought dresses.”

Flutterfree blinked. “Sometimes? I don’t think any of them are looking for one now.”

“Oh. All right.”

“I can ask them though! Does anyone want a dress?” There was silence from the fuzzy creatures. “Sorry, Charity.”

“Still feels off to be called that.”

“Well,” Flutterfree said. “If I ever come back here with my Rarity, or another Rarity, then we do need these names. I think it’s going to save a lot of time later.”

“That sounds cool,” a new voice said. Flutterfree made eye contact with the local Rainbow Dash.

“Rainbow Dash, I presume?”

“What? No. I am… The Bird.”

Flutterfree blinked. “…Convenient.”

Twix sat bolt upright. “Wait. The Bird. The Bird! Hello!”

“Hello,” The Bird responded.

“When you said ‘so there’s no confusion’, did you mean with no confusion with Rainbow Dashes?”

“I dunno. When did I say that? Hey, sweet, look at all the rabbits.”

“The Bird! The- agh, she’s gone.” Twix facehooved. “I will never understand that pegasus.”

Flutterfree shrugged. “She’s not so bad. Hey, The Bird! Did you know your friends have different names you can call them now?”

“Uh, no. That sounds sweet though. Lemme guess… Carapace, The Swan, and Orville.”

Twix blinked. “…No.”

Charity raised an eyebrow. “Um, which of those names went to each of us?”

“I dunno,” The Bird said. “I just said things that I thought. It usually works out for me.”

Flutterfree chuckled. “They’re Charity, Twix, and Scooter.”

The Bird looked at Charity. “Isn’t that kind of… obvious?”

“Yeah, that’s what I keep saying, but nopony pays any attention, and, um… The Bird, that isn’t Fluttershy over there. That’s Flutterfree.”

“Oh, so she has a new name as well? Sweet.”

“No, see, she’s from another universe.”

“Oh. That makes sense. So we don’t tell her about the Ch-“

Charity shot The Bird with a death glare.

“Hey, I’m just kiddin’ Charity, just loosen up.”

“You picked up those names fast,” Twix muttered.

“I have a freakily selective memory. …I think, can’t exactly remember that all that clearly.”

Scooter chuckled. “Heh. Nice.”

The strange words appeared in the sky again. Nicer.

“Oh sweet, the words of the all-powerful being are back,” The Bird said.

Charity looked around, finding no words. “…Sure they are.”

Scooter stared at the place the words had just been, eyes narrow. “I will go beat you up again, don’t think I won’t,” she muttered.

I have a new home security system.

“Bring it.”

Charity blinked. “…Am I missing something?”

“It’s just right over your head, Charity, don’t worry about it,” The Bird said.

Flutterfree shook her head. “I’m with The Bird on this one.”

“Yeah. New friend likes me. Hey, can I have one of those sandwiches?”

“Sure!” Flutterfree said. “Help yourself! I’ll just have to go get some more now…” She flew away from the group, heading back to her cottage for more sandwiches. She hummed a little song to herself, happy with the way life was right now. So what if she was lost in a world at war? She had good friends, good animals, and good times. She noted that she’d be happy here even if she was never able to return home – though she didn’t believe for a second the girls would stop looking for her.

She didn’t make it back to her cottage. Two ponies appeared out of nowhere and threw a net around her, one shoving a hoof into her mouth. They looked like Lyra and Bon Bon, but Flutterfree didn’t need to think too hard to realize what they really were.

Changelings.

They threw her in a sack, bound and gagged, and flew her through the air somewhere far away. She probably should have been really, really scared. She wasn’t really – she was being kidnapped by some changelings and was probably going to be interrogated. But they were just changelings – they weren’t Majora, they weren’t some horror from beyond time, they were just the normal shape-shifting bugs she was used to. She could handle herself pretty well, even if they could steal all her positive emotion or kill her…

She really should be more worried than she was.

She had no idea how much time passed in the sack before she was sat down in a really uncomfortable chair. The sack was pulled off of her, and she was able to see that she was in a cave. There was a table in front of her, and there were two changelings glaring at her.

“All right! Spill the beans!” the left one, a male, yelled. “What do you know?”

“What do I know about what?”

“Everything!”

Flutterfree sneered evilly. “I know that each and every rabbit in the world has a different volume of carrots they need to eat a day, and this can vary by five percent on any given day on a day to day basis.”

“No, no, no! You know what I mean!”

“I’m really just clueless mister Changeling – please, tell me what you want and maybe I can give it to you!”

“W-why aren’t you terrified! You’re Fluttershy, you’re supposed to be afraid of everything!”

“That’s because I’m not Fluttershy, I’m an alternate universe version of her! I’m lost, and I replaced her. Sorry if you can’t find her, that’s probably my fault.”

The second changeling, a female, rolled her eyes. “Likely story.”

“Do you think this is funny?” the first demanded, slamming his hooves down on the table. “We can have you killed or drained easily! Would you like to die here, alone? Or, better yet, get encased in icky changeling goo and be carted off to the Hive to be slowly drained of all emotion?”

The second changeling facehooved. “It’s called nest fluid…”

“It sounds scarier when I call it goo!”

“No, it doesn’t.”

Flutterfree shrugged. “I don’t want those things. Trust me.”

The male growled. “We know you’re an Element of Harmony, don’t deny that.”

“Oh yes, I’m the Element of Kindness!”

“Good. We know you’re close to the Princess’s Protégé…”

“Oh yeah, she’s a friend.”

“So… You’ll have heard things about the war and some secrets you weren't supposed to know about.”

“Definitely!”

“Who’s running their army!?”

Flutterfree grinned wide. “Why, children!”

“AUGH! Not this again! Do you realize how many times we’ve heard that? It’s stupid! It never makes any sense! Why do you ponies keep trying it? It’s insane!”

“-ly brilliant?” Flutterfree suggested.

“Every time I hear that tacked on to my sentence I want to gut somepony.”

“Oh, then you should stop using the word ‘insane’. It just sets you up for it.”

The female changeling rolled her eyes. “Look, Fluttershy, can you tell us anything useful?”

“Well, they’ve probably noticed I’m gone by now and are trying to track me down.”

“There’s nopony who can track us to this place, we’re too well hidden.”

“Who said a pony was going to do the tracking?”

“…What are you implying?” the male asked.

Flutterfree grinned. “Well, they have a dragon. Dragons have pretty good noses.” Spike doesn’t really, but they don’t have to know that.

“A- crud, you’re right, Spike. But wait, he hates Celestia…”

“He likes me though.”

“Dammit, you’re right…”

The female slapped the male upside the head. “Spike doesn’t know how to track, remember? Have you even read his file?”

“…No.”

“She’s just trying to get under your carapace. And it pains me to say that she’s succeeding. We need to try other tactics. I say we move her to the torture departme-“

Two changelings burst into the cave room. “There’s a contingent of unicorns coming!” a female shouted. “We’ve got to pack up and move, like, now!”

“How could they find us!?”

“Um, I have no idea! Maybe they’ve got a changeling working for them or, um, something?”

“There’s no way…” the first female said.

“Something to figure out later!” the male said. “Let’s just get going! You two are here for the prisoner, right?”

“Right!” the changeling who hadn’t spoken yet said in a gruff tone.

The two interrogators ran out of the room. The two new changelings walked up and hoisted Flutterfree onto their backs.

“Hey, Charity. Thanks for saving me,” Flutterfree said.

Charity winced. “Is it that obvious?”

“Yes. Yes it is,” Flutterfree said bluntly. “I assume this is your Kevin.”

“She even knows about me!? Really!?” Kevin blurted.

“Um, okay, I can explain that. See, she knows other versions of you, Kevin, and, um…”

“We can talk about this later,” Flutterfree said. “Look like you’re trying to get a prisoner to another section of camp. I assume there actually is a contingent of unicorns coming?”

“Yeah. I called them.”

“Squeaky?”

“Is there anything you didn’t figure out?”

“Eh, not sure what Scooter’s deal was with the words yet… But I’m working on that one.”

“Words?” Kevin asked.

“I don’t know either,” Charity muttered. “Let’s go.” The two of them dragged Flutterfree out of the caves, into the larger changeling base they were in. Changelings were panicking, trying to get out, to move, to do anything – but they were clearly moving too slow. It would take at least half an hour to get every changeling out, and Flutterfree was pretty sure they didn’t have that kind of time. She felt sorry for them, even if they had threatened to torture and kill her.

They burst out into the open sun. Charity quickly transformed back into her unicorn form. Kevin waved them on. “Go! I’ll keep watch.” He transformed into a rock.

“He’s really good at changing…” Charity commented. She untied Flutterfree. In return, Flutterfree grabbed her and flew through the air. She may not have known this universe, but the geography was close enough to her own. She knew which direction Ponyville was, flying right in that direction.

The Bird caught up with them. “Woah. You guys are fast. I thought you needed saving.”

“Charity already took care of that,” Flutterfree said. “Put her powers to good use.”

“Woah. Sweet moves, Charity. Wish I’d been there to see it.”

“Um, you being there would have probably messed it up.”

“A pegasus can dream.”

“Yes. Yes they can.”

“By the way, thanks for coming to save me The Bird, the thought is appreciated.”

“Aw, thanks. Think we can go back to the picnic?”

Charity spoke up. “Um, Flutterfree and I will need to be… debriefed. But we can do it after that’s done.”

“Nice. See you there!” She blasted away in a flash of rainbow.

“I like her,” Flutterfree said. “She’s not all there… But she seems so happy with life.”

“Yeah. Sometimes, it’s lucky to be The Bird.”

~~~

Celestia had a giant whiteboard with the words How Twilight Sparkle Fucked Up written at the top. There were a list of bulletpoints under this insulting heading.

1)Twilight Sparkle contacted eldritch spirits to gain power and got caught

2)Twilight Sparkle foolishly didn’t realize she had been caught

3)Twilight Sparkle continued to tap into the power of the eldritch over years

4)Twilight Sparkle didn’t notice when a demon literally moved into town with her

5)Twilight Sparkle did not bother to check the state of magic for stability ever

“Now, have I outlined precisely how you’ve ruined everything?”

“Yes princess!” Twilight said, cowering.

“NO I HAVE NOT!” Celesta bellowed, her voice blowing out all the windows in the library that weren’t already destroyed. “This list is just the why you screwed up and what you did. It tells you nothing about what horror you actually unleashed, why I’m concerned, and furthermore, why I haven’t squashed you like a pancake yet.”

“Uh…”

“BACK TO MAGIC KINDERGARTEN! Lesson 1: Magic is a very unstable source of power and those of us with decent levels of magic should regularly check our area for discrepancies. Even if your magic was inherently corrupted by whatever me-forsaken ritual you first accomplished, if you were doing this you would have detected the presence of a demon in your midst at least once.”

“Yes princess, I should have been doing that princess!”

Celestia rammed her face right into Twilight’s. “Does it look like you can say anything that can bridle my anger? No. You can only sit and whimper. We haven’t even gotten to what you actually caused yet. I haven’t done a full scan yet, but now that this eldritch power has made itself known, I can see. It has a soul bill on you, Twilight. You traded your soul, knowingly or not, in one of your rituals. Normally this would just mean a visit from a demon one night and a quick death, but apparently you’ve screwed something up with time or other force of nature, because the bond is shaken. You did something that moved outside the terms of whatever contract you were apart of, and that upsets some bigger demonic entities. That little unicorn filly had more power than you have within yourself, and it is no doubt but one of the underlings after you.”

“I… I had no idea…”

“Clearly not, for if you did you would have wormed your way out of the contract completely by now. And another thing – do you realize how difficult it must have been for you to ignore the oddness of that filly? She spoke with such an unnatural tone! And I seem to recall you mentioning in one of your letters she had a thing about being a ‘completely normal pony’. Did you temporarily catch the retardation of your rainbow friend, my faithful student?”

Twilight whimpered.

“You’re lucky I hate the eldritch oversight that wants you dead, otherwise I’d probably execute you for idiocy. But by keeping you alive I’ll destroy much of their infrastructure around this one contract, and nothing delights me more than seeing beings ‘more powerful’ than I put in their place. Of course in the end this will likely have irrevocable effects on the nature of magic itself, but you have to suffer some kind of punishment. Being responsible for the fundamental alteration of our world probably suits you.”

“Thank you for being merciful!”

“I’m also thinking time in the dungeon…”

Twilight shut up, backing up into a wall.

“Good response, no-“

It was at this point Pinkie stuck her head in the doorframe. “Ah, Twilight, Pinkie sees you’re in need of a new door, yes. Pinkie can make that happen, yes, with just a few small favo-“

“DO YOU WANT TO ETERNALLY FEEL THE BURNING OF YOUR OWN INTESTINE WRAPPED AROUND YOUR NECK, PINK ONE!?” Celestia bellowed. Pinkie left very quickly.

Celestia’s eye twitched. “Now, Twilight, even if this Thrackerzod ran away to save her skin from my wrath, there will be others after you. We are going to need to prepare.”

Twilight gulped. Celestia was smiling again. That couldn’t be good.

~~~

Cult Leader Fluttershy tensed when the exploding started. She may have had backup plans upon backup plans for today, but there was always the chance some crazy explosion messed everything up. Random explosions were not a variable she could account for, not easily anyway.

She was mildly surprised to see the source of the explosions. The metallic form of a bloodlusted robot was tossed into the ritual clearing. Fluttershy was no stranger to these events – she had seen a couple robots revealed in her time, and the result had always been interesting. Who the robot was, however, that surprised her. Sweetie Belle – or, she supposed, Sweetie Bot. Fluttershy realized she’d wondered a few times if Sweetie was a robot, but as a cult leader she didn’t really care about such things. The robotic infestation meant nothing to Lord Smooze.

The thing that really surprised Fluttershy was what happened around the bloodlusted robot. Princess Twilight Sparkle appeared, firing a laser intended to vaporize Sweetie Bot – only for another Twilight Sparkle, one Fluttershy didn’t know, to block the laser. “No! You don’t have to do this!”

“She’s a robot! All robots must die!”

“Acorna, think about what you’re doing!”

“Who needs to?” Acorna shouted, firing another laser. Twilight blocked it, but was unable to defend against a rocket from Sweetie Bot. The explosion threw her into the air. Acorna dropped all pretense of fighting Sweetie Bot instantly and engaged Twilight directly. “I’ll show you who’s the better princess!”

“What? This isn’t-“ Twilight quickly found herself in a fight for her life against… herself.

Fluttershy saw Pinkie appear, wielding a giant hammer, knocking Sweetie Bot to the side before she could lock on one of the cult members. Already, ponies were fleeing from the clearing, abandoning their devotion to Lord Smooze. Traitors.

Rarity, notably, wasn’t. She was staring right at the form of her sister in disbelief. Fluttershy wondered how a robot became one’s little sister without one knowing. It must feel like a betrayal to her.

Good. Fuel for the fire of Smooze.

Pinkie was using powers Fluttershy had never seen before – was it possible she wasn’t the gypsy bard, but another Pinkie? Like the other Twilight? A curious thought. A thought that was only enforced by the more incredible things Pinkie was doing – exhibiting the skill of somepony who had been in a lot of fights, something the gypsy bard had not. Interesting.

She saw some others come toward the clearing – an Applejack and a strange, fiery unicorn. “OJ! Don’t be stupid! We aren’t made for this!” Applejack called.

OJ continued trotting. “I bonded with her, Jack. I think I can talk her down. I can do something.”

“Ye’ll never do anythin’! Just accept that and move on with your life!”

“No. I’m doing this,” OJ said, walking into the clearing, horn held high.

Pinkie rammed Sweetie Bot into the ground, creating a small crater. The small robotic filly was made of sterner stuff than it appeared, ready to go again, this time activating the machine gun.

“Sweetie!” OJ called. “You don’t have to do this!”

Sweetie Bot glanced at OJ.

“Look at me! It’s your friend! Remember? We can-“

OJ didn’t get to finish. A bullet hit her in the left leg, forcing her to the ground. Sweetie Bot didn’t get off another round due to Pinkie’s extra-long golf club impacting her face and throwing her to the side.

Jack kneeled down to check OJ. “Ah, time to use some first aid. Hope ya have insurance.” She began to treat OJ’s gunshot wound using what she could, namely, her hooves, a swift kick, and a loose purple robe. It did the job.

“I’m worthless… Can’t do anything right… What’ll it be that’s better than me now? Another tambourine!?”

“Woah woah, hold yer salt there OJ. Just be glad yer alive, got it? That’s an order.”

OJ just curled into a ball and let herself cry.

In the air, Acorna and Twilight circled around each other. “Twilight! Why are you so angry with me? Trying to attack Sweetie I can understand, but… But what did I do to you?”

“I am the Princess of the Night!” Acorna roared. “And you’re not letting me have what I want!”

“I… Are you a child?”

“Oh no, I’m married, Twilight. I bet you aren’t mature enough to get that!”

“That has nothing to do with maturity!”

Acorna’s eyes flickered with an entitled menace. “Twilight, I worked my way to where I am. I cut, I stabbed, I lied, I pushed. I destroyed all those evil, that is, those who stood against me. I got to where I am by my own merit. These wings? They are mine. And now everypony has to give me what I want – except you. So, of course, I have to get rid of you just like Luna! Just like Cadence! Just like everypony else!”

“You… Took out Luna?!”

“What? No. I just tricked her into giving up her title. Was pretty easy, actually. Just had to convince her I could make her sexy!”

“What about Celestia?”

“Celestia understands who I am perfectly!”

“…I doubt that,” Twilight said. “…You know what I think? I think you’re the evil one.” She spread her wings. “I think you need to be stopped. Maybe even more than this Smooze does.”

“Ha! You won’t be able to win, I’m a princess.”

“Hello? Look at the wings! Princess here as well.”

“You’re just a shoddy wannabe. Trust me, I can tell, I’m a princess.”

Twilight took in a sharp breath. “Right.” She glanced down at the fight with Sweetie. “…Are you sure we can’t put this on hold? I need to stop what I caused…”

“NOPE!” Acorna shouted, firing a laser at Twilight. She deflected it, and the magical war began anew. Below, Pinkie was trying to capture Sweetie Bot while making sure she didn’t kill anypony, but that was proving to be very difficult. Nopony had died yet, but OJ was injured, Pinkie was getting tired, and the bloodlusted machine showed no signs of running out of ammo or rage.

“What a cruel world,” Pinkie muttered, pulling a rocket launcher out of her mane and firing. The explosion rocketed Sweetie Bot into a nearby tree, but, as usual, the effect was temporary and minimal.

They were going to need help if they were going to win this…

“HEY!” a voice yelled. Pinkie looked up to the hill.

Renee, Sweetie Belle, and Thrackerzod stood there. Sweetie Belle had been the one who shouted.

Sweetie Bot was certainly distracted by the appearance of another one of her. If distracted could mean the acquisition of a new target. The robot fired a barrage of ceaseless bullets at the three white unicorns. Renee easily deflected these with a blue shield, sending the bullets harmlessly into nearby trees. The three of them ran down the hill to the others while Pinkie continued to battle Sweetie Bot – maybe they could make a plan.

“What’s going on?” Renee asked Jack and OJ when they arrived. “Why are the Twilights fighting? Why is there a robotic Sweetie Belle attacking everyone?”

Jack looked down at OJ – she was in no position to explain anything. “Ah, fine. Ah guess Ah’ll explain for free today. The Acorna-Twilight, the one who lives here, has got her ego bruised and is now out for blood. As for the robot, well, she realized she was a robot, and apparently when robots here realize they’re robots they start going on a murderous rampage.”

“Is there any way to stop her?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Not that Ah know of.”

Sweetie Belle looked around, scanning the area closely. She saw the clearing, the debris, the cult members, Fluttershy, Rarity-

“Aha! A Rarity!” Sweetie Belle took off, Thrackerzod in tow. Renee stayed behind, using her magic to tend to OJ “Rarity! Rarity!” Sweetie called.

Rarity gasped, her eyes watering. “Sweetie! I thought… I thought you were that machine!”

“The Sweetie Belle you know is that machine,” Thrackerzod said. “We are curious if you know of any way to stop her?”

“I… No.” Rarity looked at the ground, crestfallen. “All robots have to be killed when they go on a rampage… They…” She started crying.

Sweetie Belle looked at Rarity. “…Did she love you?”

“More t-than anyth-thing…”

“Then I have an idea.”

Thrackerzod narrowed her eyes. “Is this going to depend on the power of love?”

“Yes.”

“That’s stupid and you should feel stupid.”

“You have a better idea?”

“…I will monitor the attempt as it happens to aid however I can.”

“Good. Rarity? Do you think you can talk to her?”

“…Wait, what!? Me!? But the guns… The war… It’s all about the war…”

“Yes. You. You are the key, Rarity. Get over yourself for a few minutes and talk to your sister!”

“O-okay…”

“Thrackerzod, if we get shot at, you better use that magic I know you have to defend us.”

“…Fine,” Thrackerzod promised.

“HEY SWEETIE BELLE!” Sweetie Belle shouted. “LOOK AT ME!”

Sweetie Bot hit Pinkie with the edge of an explosion and turned to lock on to Sweetie Belle. She fired – but the bullets were blocked by a dark, eldritch barrier that tugged on the minds of all who saw it. Sweetie Belle pushed through. “LOOK AT WHO’S NEXT TO ME! IT’S YOUR SISTER! RARITY!”

Rarity took a breath. “Sweetie Belle! Come back to me! Please! We can go run fast at the social again! We can make beautiful art with these dead raccoons! We can… We can sit around at a bench and read stories to each other!”

Sweetie Bot lowered her weapons for a moment. “R-rari- BZZZZT!” Her weapons armed themselves again and kept firing.

Thrackerzod grunted. “Do it again!”

Rarity, hope in her eyes, screamed out. “SWEETIE BELLE! I am your sister! And there’s one thing you say to me all the time that I rarely acknowledge. Sweetie Belle, I love you! My sister, come back to me!”

Sweetie Bot’s weapons lowered again – and Thrackerzod took the chance. With a burst of magic, the code that was supposed to reinstate the bloodlust was never allowed to run. Sweetie Bot let her weapons fold away into her back, vanishing within her metallic interior. Her skin was torn off in numerous places, revealing metallic circuitry, and one of her ears was half broken – but she still managed to look adorable as she ran toward Rarity. “Rarity! Rarity!”

“Sweetie Belle!” the two embraced, clutching each other tighter than they ever had before.

“I… I don’t know what I was doing… What am I? Am I evil?” Sweetie Bot asked.

“You are Sweetie, and you are my sister. And you are not evil by any stretch of the imagination.”

At this moment, Acorna fell from the sky, embedding into the ground. “Ow…”

Twilight dropped to the ground, landing on her feet. “That… I hate fighting myself, so annoying…” She wiped her brow, turning to Sweetie Bot. “…You okay now?”

“Yeah! I’m… I’m with my sister. That’s all that matters. I may be a robot, but… That doesn’t change anything.”

Rarity blinked. “…Hey, am I a robot?”

“No,” Thrackerzod said. “…I know this because I have a knack for detecting synthetic voices and not a soul scanner!”

Sweetie Belle facehooved. “Oh boy… …Thrackerzod?”

“…Yes?”

“You did good. I knew you had it in you.”

“You kind of put me on the spot there!”

“If you were really some evil abomination – or, well, if that was all you were – you would have let us get shot to pieces.”

“Quite the gamble you made.”

“I did make you promise.”

“I could have broken that promise.”

The two stared at each other blankly. Then they started laughing.

Sweetie Bot tore herself from Rairty’s embrace. “Sweetie B… Bot! Sweetie Bot wants in on this fun activity with other Sweeties!”

Sweetie Belle put a leg around Sweetie Bot. “Welcome to the group!”

“No!” Acorna screamed, pulling herself out of the ground. “We can’t have that! Robots need to be purged! You’re all traitors to the Crown! I can’t lose!”

Twilight stood overtop of Acorna, expressionless. “Acorna, we are going to leave and never bother you again. We will be taking Sweetie Bot – and her sister – with us, so you can’t hurt them.”

“But she’s an Element of Harmony! We need her!”

“She’s in danger if she stays here. Danger from you,” Twilight slammed her hoof into the earth. “Twilight Acorna Sparkle, goodbye. May we never meet again.”

Renee walked up to Twilight. “Where are we going?”

“I think back to the universe Jack over there is from…”

“There should be some kind of ‘magical flow’ moving through the area,” Renee said. “We used it to get from our universe to that one. You should be able to use it to get somewhere new.”

Twilight nodded. “Right. Right…” She scanned around with her horn for a few minutes, locating the pattern. “Huh. That was easy to find. Wonder why I didn’t check earlier…” She prepared the spell. “Everypony who’s not staying here, come to me!”

Pinkie, OJ, Jack, Sweetie Belle, Renee, Thrackerzod, Sweetie Bot, and Rarity surrounded her. Then they were gone, to another universe…

Fluttershy grinned. Good. They were gone.

Acorna screamed to the heavens in childish rage.

~~~

The basement of Sugarcube Corner was quickly filling up with demons of all shapes and sizes, ranging from buglike monstrosities to piles of organs with eyes to shades composed of magic, all of which were following Dinkie’s every order.

Vriska looked up at Dinkie. “Hey, guess what time it is.”

Dinkie looked away from the tall, muscular humanoid she had summoned. “Oh, broo, please not now-“

Vriska removed her hands from her imprisonment with her luck. “Escape time!” She leaped over the head of the freshly summoned demon, landing on the stairs out of the basement. “See ya!”

“GET HER!” Dinkie yelled. “…Also, Frank, go get a chicken from Fluttershy, kay?”

Vriska threw her dice into the basement, unleashing an attack of exploding jellyfish. She saluted and ran out of the basement and through the front doors of Sugarcube Corner, into the sunlight. She spread her wings and took off into the sky, laughing madly. That was easy. Stupidly ea-

A flying demon composed of three eyeballs connected by a stomach-like sac teleported in front of her and hit her with far more force than should have come out of its somewhat small mass. Vriska flew toward the edge of Ponyville. She stole the luck of the creature, but another one appeared behind her, this time composed mostly of teeth apparently glued onto a perfect sphere. She cut this one in half with her sword – no need to rely on the fancy dice.

A demon made entirely of wind shoved her even further off track. She managed to cut three other demons in half, but she was still being pushed around so much she couldn’t control where she was going. She was getting pretty tired of this…

A bed-shaped demon smashed into her, driving her through the roof of a certain clubhouse.

“Ow…” she muttered, rubbing her head. She saw four faces looking down at her – a Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Applebloom, and Princess Luna.

“Scoo-ba?” Scootaloo asked.

“I have no idea what she is, but I think she’s in trouble!” Applebloom said.

“I see demons out there!” Sweetie Belle said with a gruff voice as she looked out a window. “Can I go punch one?”

“That would be unwise!” Luna declared. She teleported them all out of the clubhouse seconds before it was demolished by attacking beings. They appeared on top of a nearby ridge overlooking Ponyville.

Vriska stood up and dusted herself off. “Thanks. I could have handled that, but it was getting annoying.”

“I am happy to serve!” Luna declared. “So, who are you?”

“Why are the legions of hell after you?” Sweetie Belle demanded.

“Scootittidy bibbityba?” Scootaloo added.

Vriska grinned. “I’m Vriska Serket, your Pinkie Pie is summoning a demon army to go kill a Twilight Sparkle in another universe, and I’m apparently in a good position to stop her. But, you know, now that I see what I have to work with… I think I can make this work. Who wants to stop a demon invasion?”

“THIS IS LITERALLY THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!” Sweetie Belle cheered.

“SAND!” Luna cheered as well.

“Doesn’t have the same ring to it,” Applebloom muttered.

“Scooby bappity skoo ba ba,” Scootaloo added.

“I found it again. I missed it,” Luna answered.

Vriska blinked. “Wait, hold on, why can’t I understand Scootaloo?”

“Scooba doofa bappity ba ba ba ba bappity ba. Ba ba,” Scootaloo explained.

“Ah dunno,” Applebloom said.

“But I have a universal translator and – AGH whatever. Luna, you should know an invisibility spell.”

“That I do!”

“Good. Let’s go investigate!”

“Are you sure we should be involving children in this?” Luna asked.

“IF YOU TAKE THIS FROM ME I WON’T BE YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE!” Sweetie Belle shouted.

“Yay! Demon hunters with children, what a great idea!” Luna cheered.

Applebloom glanced at Scootaloo. “Ah thought we weren’t her friend?”

“Scooba,” Scootaloo shrugged.

“Let’s just move it,” Vriska said. “I have no idea how long we have, and frankly I’d rather this not all devolve into chaos.”

Several minutes later, the five of them were invisible, floating into Sugarcube Corner’s basement by way of Luna’s magic. They could hear Dinkie cheering. “It took like ten minutes, but I finally got you back broo! You have any idea how hard it is to remove the innocence from a chicken?”

“Easy as creating a potato from scratch,” Hastur said. “I take it we are ready?”

“Yeah, totally broo! Got the demon army and everything! Vriska’s escaped though, so she’s probably gonna try somethin’. We should be ready for that.”

“I will be our defense against her should she decide to make a move. We must go quickly though. My coworkers can only keep nut-head distracted for so long. I will generate the portal, you get the demons in line.”

“All right demon broos! Let’s do this thing! Remember, you’re after the purple pony with a horn and a lot of magic! Should be easy to find! Because this contract is all weird, we can’t just kill her directly, we’ve got to, uh, Hastur? What was the weird thing again?”

“We need to secure the soul prior to killing the body. It’s a delicate operation, but I should be able to accomplish it assuming the demon army can take care of Celestia.”

“Sweet, Broo! What if Vriska shows up though?”

“We’ll have to adapt. No plan survives contact with the enemy.”

“Sweet! How would you react if I told you Vriska was listening to us right now?”

“Of course she is. She’s probably got some invisibility spell, or something. I sense a magical presence that might be Princess Luna. Word of advice to our eavesdroppers, I would not interfere. I am a higher demon far beyond you pathetic mortals. Even if you have power, I’m more than willing to scream in the broodfester tongues loud enough to destroy the lives of every pony within a mile radius. I don’t want to do that, but I can. Think very carefully.”

“Fuck,” Vriska muttered.

Dinkie clapped her hooves together. “That was so badass, broo! You’re, like, the best demon I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing!”

“You aren’t that bad yourself, Pink one.”

“Aw, broo! You don’t need to say that! You’re makin’ me blush!”

“True. Prepare, we’re going through soon.”

~~~

General ‘Squeaky’ Belle looked from Flutterfree, to Charity, to Flutterfree. She cleared her throat. “This has been an immensely horrible breach of security. Celestia would be ashamed of us.”

Flutterfree nodded. “Yeah. I’m sorry. Just because they didn’t believe me, doesn’t mean the risk was mine to take.”

“Definitely not! And while it was very funny to hear about, if they hear the ‘oh, the Generals are children’ often enough they’re going to get suspicious! And Charity, I know you wanted to hear about the good changelings so badly, but…” she sighed. “Look, I know it’s hard to take my voice seriously, and I’m really freaking cute, but I mean what I’m saying. You’re not in trouble, but… You two are grown mares. You should know better!”

“I’m sorry,” Charity said.

Squeaky smiled. “Good. Now, I-“

Scooter kicked the door in. “Sorry to interrupt, but I’ve got, like, eight visitors here to see Flutterfree!”

Charity was about to object, but then she saw who was there. No doubt, this was Flutterfree’s Twilight – and Pinkie, and Renee, along with some other friends.

Squeaky blinked. “Woah, where’d you find them?”

“I was just waitin’ around the edge of the Everfree forest, like I do,” Scooter said. “They’ve had quite an adventure, I bet!”

“You have no idea – Actually, wait, you do have a pretty good idea!” Pinkie said, giggling.

“We are going to be the best of friends, Pinkie.”

“You bet we are, Scooter!”

Flutterfree leaped up and hugged Twilight. “It’s good to see you all safe.”

“Yeah. It’s good to see you,” Twilight responded. “I was worried about all of you.”

“Where’s Nova?” Flutterfree asked.

“I don’t think she was dragged into these universes with us,” Renee said. “I haven’t seen a single version of Starlight anywhere.”

Flutterfree glanced at Sweetie Belle, Thrackerzod, and Sweetie Bot filing in. “What’s the story there?”

“I’ll tell you all about it. See, Sweetie Belle came with me for some reason, probably because I was sleeping on her…”

Squeaky looked at Sweetie Belle, Sweetie Bot, and Thrackerzod. “Well then,” she said. “This is interesting.”

“I’m willing to bet this is some cruel joke of fate,” Thrackerzod said. “Before we know it the Sweetie Belle from Jack’s universe will show up and we’ll have a full set.”

Sweetie Bot beeped. “That would be amazing! The cuteness would be at maximum capacity!”

Sweetie Belle walked up to Squeaky. “Sorry for not introducing ourselves. This is Thrackerzod and Sweetie Bot. I just go by Sweetie Belle, but if you want to go by that I can be something else.”

“I’ve already got a name! Squeaky!” Squeaky said, smiling. “It’s going to be great to know you all! So… This is going to sound like a weird question, maybe, but what’s your job?”

“I help ponies find their destiny. A therapist, I guess,” Sweetie said.

“I am a robot,” Sweetie Bot said. “…I don’t know what that means, but I think it’s cool now.”

“I am a perfectly normal unicorn!” Thrackerzod asserted.

“Thrackerzod’s some kind of dark being from another dimension with a heart of gold,” Sweetie corrected.

“Traitor,” Thrackerzod muttered.

“Wow. Cool!” Squeaky said. She looked around shiftily. “I can’t tell you what I do, but I can tell you it’s awesome!”

“If I’ve heard right, it definitely is,” Charter-Twilight said, walking up to her.

Squeaky blinked. “Do we need to go talk somewhere alone, or…?”

“No. I just want to say thanks. As Charter, I will want to talk to you later, but for now… Enjoy being a kid. Something tells me you don’t get much of that.”

Thrackerzod raised her eyebrows. “The only one of us here with the mentality of a child is the robot.”

Twilight smiled. “And Thrackerzod? I’ve sensed your kind of power before, in a horrible enemy we faced called Majora. Everywhere else we’ve encountered that power, there is darkness. But… What you did today? That made me think of things differently. Thank you for that.”

Thrackerzod blinked. “…You know, I should be thankful, but instead I’m just upset that I don’t even have a cover anymore. I’m supposed to be some unimaginable horror who needs to hide to connect to anypony! We don’t get friends.”

“I saw you with your Scootaloo and Applebloom,” Sweetie Belle interjected. “You had an actual bond with them.”

Twilight smiled. “I hope I’ll get to see you again, Thrackerzod. I think I’ll have a lot of questions. But you, too, can have fun, despite your ‘maturity’.”

“Yay!” Sweetie Bot cheered. “Hey, are all your sisters the best too?”

Squeaky looked over at Charity. “Yeah. Yeah she is.”

Thrackerzod huffed. “My ‘sister’ thinks the idea of setting an example is for ponies who aren’t her. She thinks she can run everypony, including me! Little does she know I plot against her in my dreams…”

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. “My sister is there, in the hat. She’s amazing. She explores universes and is sometimes an ambassador for all ponykind!”

“Wow,” Squeaky said. “Impressive.”

“Oooh! She’s talking to my sister!” Sweetie Bot commented. “I wonder what they’re talking about?”

Renee looked at Rarity and Charity. “I was beginning to lose hope,” she admitted. “I heard word of a deplorable Rarity, and met one who was literally a masochist. But you two… You two have restored my faith. A good sister, and a hero.”

Charity sighed.

“Flutterfree tells us everything Charity, don’t be ashamed. Your secret is safe with us.”

“What secret?” Rarity asked.

“It’s hers,” Renee said. “It would be best if you didn’t pry. But, I do think it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Charity smiled. “Um. Thank you, Renee. Means a lot.”

“Glad to hear it.”

Jack and OJ sat near the edge of the room.

“Ah feel like we’re bein’ left out,” Jack said. “Ah have the sneaking suspicion there’s no real reason for me to be here.”

“I thought you were expanding your influence?”

“Oh, Ah’m doin’ that. Cheated several ponies out of their bits while ya weren’t lookin’. But there’s a bigger story goin’ on here, and Ah don’t belong in it, not really.” She stood up. “Ah think Ah’m gonna go to the bar in this town, maybe see if I can rope the alternate Apples into a business deal of some kind.”

OJ sighed. “I mean… I think you should stay. That way I have someone to talk to… Someone who isn’t a failure.”

“Wow, OJ, ya sound more pathetic than a spineless porcupine. Just go up and talk to somepony, they all look nice. Nicer than me, at least.”

“Why are you giving me life advice, anyway?”

“Racking up favors.”

“…Is that just an excuse?”

“Do ya want to find out?”

“…No,” OJ admitted.

Behind them, Pinkie and Scooter were talking.

“So, Scooter, I hear you want to talk with me.”

“It’s hard Pinkie,” Scooter said. “I can read the script and everything, and I try to protect them, but I can't. Twix already knows, and she took it… well. But she almost didn’t, and the Fourth is breaking down more and more as time goes on, Trixie almost broke everything, and then The Editor shows up and-“

Hello, The Editor’s text ‘said’. Nice to meet you.

Pinkie waved at the Editor. “Hey. So, bored?”

A litle.

“Yeah, your type of jokes don’t really apply in book form do they?”

Not really. I mean, I’ve been writing in different colors each time, but nobody notices.

“You guys talkin’ to the Editor?” Twix said, trotting into the crowded room.

“Yeah,” Pinkie said. “You’re a little late.”

“I got caught up with… a book.”

Scooter raised an eyebrow. “I told you the exact time they would arrive, Twix.”

“Yeah, so? My internal clock isn’t perfect.” She looked at Pinkie. “So… You have it too. The Fourth, or whatever.”

“Yep. I actually don’t have it as strong as Scooter here – I can’t actually go and read the script. But I’m pretty close. Also, if you want to call it what it’s really called, go with Ka.”

“None of the readers are going to know what it means,” Scooter said. “Seriously, those that do had to have it explained to them.”

“There are some who know about the Tower.”

Twix blinked. “Wait, readers? I thought we were being watched.”

“Yeah, this is a special derivative work,” Scooter said. “The ol’ GM is trying pretty hard to keep this seamless with all of Scootertrix, but, you know, that doesn’t always work.”

He put me out of a job.

“You needed to get fired long ago. You misspelled ‘little’ up there, by the way. You’re really bothering all the real editors of this chapter.”

“Scooter!” Pinkie chided. “That’s rude. ...wait a minute...”

“Sorry, right… The Editor, just… Work at it? Okay?”

Sure.

Twix rubbed her head. “This is all a bit meta for me. I think… I think I need to get out of here before I get an aneurysm from thinking too much.”

“Yeah, you won’t get time to do that,” both Pinkie and Scooter said.

“Uuuuuuuugh…”

A brilliant magic filled the space, depositing the princesses Celestia and Luna in the room. Celestia held out her hoof. “Beware, interdimensional invaders! I have come to face you off and protect my land… In a game of chance! Somewhere in this room is a bomb set to go off at any moment! The rules are simple – you need to find it before time runs up! I will provide hints for pathetic losers! And… go!”

Luna facehooved. Hard. Everypony just stared at Celestia in disbelief.

Celestia grinned. “Heheheh. Gotcha.”

Twix chuckled. “Hey Celestia!”

“Oh, Twilight! Have you been doing well on your studies?”

“Well, just look at all these new friends!”

“I can see! They’re not trying to… invade are they?”

“Definitely not!” Twix said, grinning. “Some are annoying, but I like them all.”

“Hey,” Jack said, walking up to Celestia. “Would you like to purchase interdimensional insurance from the Apple Family of the land of Ultra Fast?”

“…You’re trying to scam me. You have some serious balls. I respect that.”

Luna sighed. “Look, everypony, we just detected a huge surge of interdimensional energy, probably when you all showed up, and decided to investigate.”

“There’s no need, princesses,” Squeaky said. “They’re not working with the enemy.”

“Good. See Luna? I told you they had everything under control.”

Luna grumbled under her breath.

“Back to the window then,” Celestia said.

“Wait! We haven’t given you a name yet!” Pinkie called.

“Why would I accept a name from a pony like you? If I were to differentiate myself from other Celestias, I would come up with it myse-“

“Trollestia.”

“That is the most beautiful word I have ever heard. It is miiiiiiiiine now.”

Pinkie winked. “Glad you like it!”

Luna sighed. “Great…”

Charter-Princess Twilight bowed at Trollestia’s feet. “I am honored to make your acquaintance.”

“Nice wings,” Celestia commented. “Hey, Twilight, you like these wings?”

“Yes princess!” Twix said.

“Good… To… Know…” Celestia said, commenting no further on the matter. “So, what am I to call you, other Twilight?”

“I am the Charter-Twilight.”

“So… Charlie?”

Jack burst out into laughter. “Ah told ya that was the best name!”

Twilight twitched. “I’d prefer just Charter, Trollestia.”

“I like Charlie,” Trollestia decided. “So, Charter-Charlie, what’s up?”

“We were wondering if, maybe, you might have a way home for us? A way to get to another universe?”

Trollestia put a hoof to her chin. “Hrm… I’m thinking… Maybe…”

Renee raised a hoof. “Twilight, just cast the spell along the magic conduit again. It should continue to a new location.”

“Okay, I want to see this,” Trollestia said. “Do it. Make a portal to another universe. I hope it looks like a donut.”

Luna shook her head. “Please forgive my sister…”

“Why?” Pinkie said. “She’s awesome!”

Luna facehooved. “I am alone in my struggles…”

Twilight activated the spell, punching a hole through to another version of Rarity’s boutique… An empty one, with a drama couch in the middle of the room.

Renee blinked. “Hold up…”

In an instant, the portal no longer led to the boutique; it had been forcibly moved to Twilight’s Library, where a certain brutal version of Celestia and her terrified student, Twilight, stood.

Trollestia waved. “Hello, me! I’ve always been curious, is the grass greener over there?”

Celestia looked closely at her counterpart, sizing her up. With a slight hint of pain in her voice, she forced herself to speak in a dignified, respectful manner. “Your Highness, why have you connected to my realm?”

“I wanted to see what this Twilight could do with the dimensional things. It turns out that those things are pretty sweet, though not as donut-like as I was expecting.”

Luna cleared her throat. “What she means to say is that we won’t bother you any further if you don’t wish us to.”

Twilight looked at the brutal Celestia. “Your highness, I am the Charter-Twilight, leader of this interdimensional group of explorers. If I have your identity correct, you helped Renee learn of the magical conduit. For that, I thank you. It appears to go in a circle though.”

Trollestia blinked. “Donut-like after all…”

“Wait…” Celestia glared. “Do you have the demon among you!?”

Thrackerzod was sweating profusely, frozen in a state of panic. Celestia grabbed her with the telekinesis of a self-proclaimed god. She would have crushed the eldritch filly right then and there had Luna not stepped in to release her grip.

“You can’t just go crushing fillies like that!” Luna shouted at her.

“I can do what I wan-“

“Ah ah ah,” Trollestia said, waving her hoof. “See, Thrackerzod is on our side of the line, in our territory. You can’t do anything in our territory. If, say, she were through the portal, or even stuck a single hoof through, you could take her and bake her into a victory pie or something. Buuuuut, the line is law!”

“I don’t have to respect your laws.”

“And neither do we! Isn’t this a fun game?” Trollestia raised her eyebrows over and over. “Come on, you’re enjoying this.”

“Stop antagonizing her!” the unicorn Twilight hissed. “Do you want to start a war?”

Luna glanced at Trollestia. “We can’t handle another war.”

“No… We can’t… But there’s, like, over a dozen of us, three of which are alicorns, and one of her. Well, two, but that shaking two-bit Twilight doesn’t hold a candle to the real thing.”

“I can hear every disrespectful word you say, buffoon,” Celestia growled.

“I know! See, I’m trying to get you worked up and angry. Is it working? Please tell me it’s working.”

Celestia took in a breath. “The being you are harboring is a horrendous demon creature that has taken over the life of a poor, defenseless unicorn filly. She has one purpose and one purpose only – to take the soul of my student Twilight Sparkle, killing her in the process. She serves beings far beyond my power or yours, outer gods that could tear universes apart with their breath. Do you really want to defend a creature such as that?”

Luna frowned. “When you put it that way…”

Sweetie Belle cleared her throat. “Thrackerzod is more than that! She saved a filly’s life! She protected us from certain doom! She’s our friend!”

Celestia narrowed her eyes. “And what are you suggesting?”

Scooter shrugged. “We could go with the whole ‘friendship is magic’ thing, but…”

Pinkie jumped in. “…we think it’s just good that she has a heart in there, somewhere amongst the icky blackness. And that’s something to fight for!”

“She would have my student killed.” Celestia grunted.

“Oh, we can stop her from doing that easily enough,” Trollestia said. “Thrackerzod, if you do anything to kill Twilight Sparkle, I will find some creative way to torture you. Involving… Oh, let’s say blobfish. I’ve always wanted to use a blobfish for something.”

“Er… I…” Thrackerzod gulped. “There’s probably something you should-“

Celestia pointed a hoof at Thrackerzod. “Do not believe its words! It will snake-charm you into whatever it wills! It has access to the broodfester tongues, and could kill most of you with little effort. Kill it, now. Kill it before it can manipulate you beyond!”

“No!” Sweetie Bot yelled. “Thrackerzod is a friend!”

“Yeah!” OJ yelled, standing up. “I like her!”

Renee nodded. “As much of a pathological liar as she is, I can certainly say she’s a good pony at heart. We’re certainly friends with worse characters.”

“I wonder what Alushy’s up to right now…” Pinkie muttered to herself.

“I don’t really know her that well but she saved my sister!” Rarity called.

Thrackerzod blinked, wiping tears from her eyes. “Ponies… Celestia is right. I am charged with killing Twilight Sparkle, and nothing can take that task away from me. It is my driving force. It is my definition, my requirement in this life. I have an insatiable desire to seek out her destruction, and it must be done. She has imbalanced the magic of my realm with her dealings with our kind! She signed the contract herself, and then something messed it up! Something…” She looked at her horn and frowned, losing her train of throught. “…There’s something in there. Something strange.”

Charter Twilight lit her horn, scanning the interior of the library through the portal. She teleported the key to herself. “…This thing has unusual energies.”

Unicorn Twilight blinked. “That stupid thing? It’s just a key I found when I started experiencing déjà vu!”

Thrackerzod frowned. “While that key is certainly important, it changes nothing. Twilight’s soul is needed. I cannot change this. Furthermore, killing me will not change this requirement. I have superiors.”

Celestia glared into Trollestia’s eyes. “It appears we are at a standstill, me.”

“Oh I don’t know about that, I think I can do this pretty well while sitting down! But I won’t, because then you’d be taller. And you’re already significantly more menacing, so, you know, have to keep it balanced.”

“We can do this the hard way, you know,” Celestia said. “I guarantee I can kill most of your subjects before you can do anything.”

“That… is a good point.”

“A good point?” Luna blurted. “We can’t risk all these ponies for the life of a single filly! Not all of them want to sacrifice themselves!”

Jack raised her hoof. “Ah’m one of the sane people!”

Celestia smiled – it was unsettling even to Trollestia. “See? You need to hand her over. You have no choice.”

It was at that moment another portal appeared behind Trollestia, depositing Acorna, a very upset looking Fluttershy, an Applejack, a Rainbow Dash, and a Spike, all wearing Elements of Harmony on their necks. Acorna pointed her wing at Charter-Twilight. “There you are! I can have my revenge!”

“…Are you threatening us with the Elements of Harmony?” Charter-Twilight asked.

“Yes! You will be purged to what I want you to be!”

“…But you need all six.”

“…What?”

“You’re missing a Pinkie and a Rarity. Even with Spike, which might work, you’re still missing one. And nopony here is going to hop onto your side just because they can. Nopony likes you.”

“But everypony loves me!” Acorna asserted. “Just watch. Anypony want to help me get my revenge!?”

Not a single pony moved forward to join her side.

Acorna’s eyes began to fill up with tears. “But… But… But…” She collapsed to the ground, crying. “I WAS GOING TO GET YOU!”

“Yeeeeah…” Charter-Twilight said, turning away from her. “That mare has a problem.”

“That mare is a problem,” Renee muttered.

“Now that we are done with such pointless distractions,” Celestia said, narrowing her eyes. “Counterpart, what do you say about giving me that eldritch filly?”

Trollestia glanced at Luna. Then she glanced back at her brutal counterpart. “Fine, you win, brutal empress of whatever. You can have the filly to do whatever horrendous things you wish. Don’t like it, but can’t have you being more brutal and killing ponies.” She levitated Thrackerzod into the air, moving her toward the portal. “I’m sure your subjects are going to love the video.”

“The video?”

“Oh, you know, the video I’m going to take with my magic and send to some company somewhere to mass produce. Princess Celestia, doing unspeakable things to a foal…”

“A good publicity stunt. I should thank you.”

“...You’re serious.”

“Yes.”

“And I thought I was a monster. Wow.”

Luna winced. “Let it be known that the Princesses Luna and Celestia of this universe do not condone your actions, Celestia. You have forced our hoof.”

Thrackerzod looked down at the other Sweetie Belles as she was levitated to the middle of the ring. “I am sorry, my friends. It was good to know you.”

Sweetie Bot started crying. Squeaky and Sweetie just nodded slowly and forced smiles onto their faces for Thrackerzod.

Thrackerzod turned her gaze to Celestia. “The moment you try to do anything to me, I fight back with all I have.”

“I am a god, filly. My power far eclipses that of a minor demon.”

Thrackerzod took a deep breath. “I know. Do your worst.” She was now past the line, on the others side of the portal, in the telekinetic grasp of the brutal tyrant Celestia.

Scooter grinned. “Hey, you know what’d be really convenient right now?”

“What?” Pinkie asked, legitimately confused.

“A demon army coming out of nowhere.”

A portal flew open behind brutal Celestia, unveiling the forces of Hastur and Dinkie. “CHARGE!” Dinkie yelled. “GET TWILIGHT SPARKLE, BROOS! DO NOT STOP THE WARRING UNTIL THE CONTRACT IS FULFILLED! NOT FOR ANY REASON!”

All hell broke loose.

Literally.

Twilight Sparkle, the unicorn, was suddenly in the center of a fight for her life. Her mentor and tormentor of the past few years, Celestia, ruler of her entire world, was defending her from this horde. Her fear began to melt away, replaced with the urgency of survival – the need to fight back, to help. She stood alongside her ruler and fired a complex series of lasers through the solar shield matrix she had created, downing demons left and right.

Thrackerzod flew out of nowhere, trying to drive a sickle of eldritch energy into Twilight’s chest, but Renee was there, stopping her. “Thrackerzod…”

“Renee… Get out of my way. This has to be done.”

Renee smirked. “You’d be surprised how often we get into fights with ponies we don’t want to. Bring it, I’m pretty-“

A wall of eldritch energy shot from a direction that should not have existed, barreling into Renee and knocking her unconscious with a single blow. “Sorry,” Thrackerzod said, returning her attention to Twilight. She generated another wall of eldritch energy, but Twilight was expecting it, deflecting with a powerful shield. Thrackerzod knew Twilight’s power was strong enough to do this, so she had a backup plan. A spike of powerful energy shot from a direction that could best be described as ‘behind’. It missed Twilight by mere millimeters. Thrackerzod moved to rings of shadow, keeping Twilight on the defensive, but soon she had a new opponent.

Sweetie Bot. The dented and bruised robot stood between Thrackerzod and her charge. “Thrackerzod! Stop! We are your friends – you don’t have to do this!”

Thrackerzod groaned. “You don’t understand, do you?! I do have to do this! It is physically impossible for me not to try!” She tried to shove Sweetie Bot out of the way, but she stood fast and produced her many guns.

“Don’t make us try to stop you!” Sweetie Belle called.

“We can do it!” Squeaky said. “We can totally have you taken down!”

Amongst the war between demons and ponies, Thrackerzod shook her head and ground her teeth. “You are all morons who cannot understand my ways. You must take me down. …I hope you succeed.” She lunged for Twilight Sparkle again, a claw of red power summoning forth from her horn.

Sweetie Bot tackled her to the ground, the robotic strength more than enough to overcome the eldritch boost to a little filly’s body. “Stop it! Look into your heart drive!”

“I don’t have a heart drive you impressionable filly! I-!”

“It appears as if we are having a conflict of interest,” Hastur said, approaching them. “Do not fret, Thrackerzod. I shall complete the contract for you, and no one has to hear of this.”

“…Thank you, Hastur,” Sweetie Belle said, walking in front of Thrackerzod. “…They’re still going to have to stop you though.”

“They’re welcome to try.” With a burst of energy he moved toward Twilight himself.

Sweetie Bot hugged Thrackerzod close. “Yay! Now we don’t have to fight anymore!”

A gigantic demon walked up to them and screamed in bloodcurdling rage. Sweetie Bot screamed, backing away. Thrackerzod gave it the evil eye, planning to cut its head off – but somepony else did that instead - a fifth Sweetie Belle. “Aw yeah, this is the best day ever!” The newcomer said, standing in a pool of demon blood. “Muahahahahaha!”

Thrackerzod facehooved. “What did I say? What did I say? Look at it, here she is. Behold!”

“Input name: Sweetie Brute!”

Sweetie Brute chuckled. “That sounds like me all right!”

“Where did you come from?” Squeaky asked.

“I came with her,” Sweetie Brute said, pointing at Vriska.

Vriska flew through the air, landing between Hastur and Twilight. “Ah ah ah… Not gonna happen.”

“Do you wish to risk a heroic death against me, deity? For these ponies?”

“Oh definitely, I like them, and I know they like this unicorn. Plus, as I’m sure you know, these ponies are important.”

“Very well. I regret to inform you that, as an obstacle to fulfilling the contract, I am required to take you out of the equation by any means necessary. If by some miracle you survive, are you still on for that drink later?”

“Of course, what kind of idiot would I be to turn that down?”

“Good to know.” Hastur pointed a finger and a surge of eldritch energy shot out, so much that some of the demons nearby grabbed their heads in agony. Vriska flew into the air and grinned, siphoning the luck from Hastur.

Hastur snapped his fingers, undoing Vriska’s ability. Vriska laughed. “Ah, nice trick. But does it work when I steal from others?” She grabbed a nearby demon’s luck, as much as she could grab, forcing the disgusting blob to die of a heart attack. She rolled her dice, getting a very high roll. A shark made of sawblades appeared from the aether, cutting Hastur into a million pieces.

He reformed without much of an issue.

“This is going to be so much fun…” Vriska smirked.

Celestia, Trollestia, Luna, and another Luna were standing together, keeping most of the demon horde back.

“So… What’s your story?” Luna asked the other Luna.

“SAAAAAAND!”

“…That’s… Not helpful at all.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just a thing I say sometimes. I’m here with the gray troll creature and the three children on my back.”

“Pleased to meetcha, Luna Two,” Applebloom said.

“Scootittidy ba bannada scoo,” Scootaloo said.

Luna blinked. “Other me, that’s only two fillies.”

“Great. One must have slipped away…”

Trollestia smirked. “If she dies or gets injured in any way, you are so getting sent to the moon, aren’t you?”

“SAAAAAAAND!” ‘Sandyluna’ roared in rage.

Celestia took in a sharp breath. “I am surrounded by imbeciles…”

“Hey! I’m not an Imbecile!” Luna called.

“You’re incompetent.”

“But I… I…”

“Just focus on the demon horde, all of you!”

Elsewhere in the midst of the fight, Dinkie got a truly devious idea. She appeared next to Acorna. “Hey, broo! I hear you need another Element o’ Harmony!”

“You… You’d do that?” Acorna said, wiping away her tears.

“Uh, yeah! Your enemies totally are messing up my demon horde! Let’s hit them with the rainbow death laser! C’mon!”

Acorna grinned, slapping her sixth Element around Dinkie’s neck. She turned back to her ponies. “ALL RIGHT GIRLS, TIME TO TAKE REVENGE!”

“Damn it!” Twix yelled, seeing their Elements start activating. “CELESTIA! WE NEED THE ELEMENTS!”

“I have them on me!” Trollestia called. “Just use your amazing magic to grab them out of my magnificent tail!”

Twix grabbed the Elements. “Okay…” She put Magic on herself. The closest Rarity was Sweetie Bot’s sister, so she got Generosity. Jack got Honesty. Pinkie got Laughter. Flutterfree got Kindness. “Crud, I need a... Rainbow Dash.”

OJ stood up from her cowering position. “Maybe this is my chance to shine… Maybe I can take the Element of Loyalty…”

Twix grabbed a megaphone from Pinkie. “THE BIRD! HELLO!”

As if summoned by magic, The Bird flew onto the scene. “Hello.”

Twix slapped the Element of Loyalty on her. “Let’s move ponies!” Twix, Rarity, Jack, Pinkie, Flutterfree, and the Bird rose into the air.

“Heh. Guess this is why Ah was here,” Jack said.

OJ crumpled back onto the floor into a ball of tears.

Even though the second set of Elements was activated several seconds after the first, they were still able to resist the power of the first set. Soon, there were two lasers of rainbow ‘death’ firing at each other, canceling their powers out.

“Pretty,” Scooter said. “All right ponies! Keep fighting back the horde!”

Demons fell by the dozen, but they just kept coming. Ponies fought for their lives, and not just that of the unicorn Twilight Sparkle. Currently, Charter-Twilight was her primary defender, the defense well within her power since Hastur was busy with Vriska. The battle between the two of them was beyond the capability of most ponies present to understand – the troll used her Vision Eightfold to track the higher demon, but his partial existence outside the dimension made her battle difficult. It should have been impossible, but she was known for her luck.

The five Sweetie Belles sat in a corner, unsure what to do. Sweetie Brute kept moving to go back to punch demons in the face, but that would go against what the group was doing, and she wanted to feel included with her other selves.

“We have to stop this fighting!” Sweetie Bot said, turning to Squeaky. “Do something.”

“I can’t do anything! I make war! I don’t stop it without a lot of violence involved!”

“The horde will get her eventually,” Thrackerzod said. “She will pay for what she’s done, and the contract will be complete.”

“You still think she needs to pay don’t you?” Sweetie Belle retorted.

“Do you think a demon, such as myself, would be allowed on such an important mission if I had free will in regards to this mission? Do you? I’m programmed!”

“Then unprogram yourself, like you did me!” Sweetie Bot said.

“You should know you can’t do it to yourself,” Thrackerzod muttered. “And even if, say, I could think it was a bad thing, which I don’t, and it isn’t, there’s probably a self destruct somewhere in here for that eventuality. Traitors are not treated well. Even hesitation is usually a one-way ticket to eternal damnation in places worse than the hell any of you can imagine. I am immensely grateful for Hastur’s existence.”

“But… But…” Sweetie Belle threw her hooves in the air. “There has to be a way! There’s always some third option!”

OJ heard this. The idea of the third option burrowed its way into her mind. She snapped out of her depressed stupor and looked around. She saw the fights. She saw many injuries, though she didn’t see any dead ponies, just demons. She saw Vriska and Hastur battling in a way that hurt her mind. She saw demons congealing around the unicorn Twilight. She saw her screaming and fighting for her life. She saw the Elements of Harmony, both sets, burning at each other for eternity. She saw the Twilight Sparkles leading both sets…

Twilight Sparkles.

There was an S there.

“EVERYPONY STOP FIGHTING!” OJ yelled, using the megaphone Twix had left on the ground.

For whatever reason, everypony did. Not just the ponies, but the demons, and even the Elements of Harmony stopped firing. OJ decided not to question this. “YELLOW DEMON GUY! WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ANOTHER TWILIGHT SPARKLE’S SOUL TO SATISFY THE CONTRACT?”

Hastur released his hold on Vriska’s neck. “…Given the recent edits to account for interdimensional interference, legally speaking… I think so.”

Everypony and demon in the room slowly turned to lock their eyes with those of one Twilight Acorna Sparkle.

“No…” She said, taking a few steps back.

Dinkie threw her Element on the ground. “Sorry broo, looks like you’re about to get served. I’ll just distance myself from you right now…”

Celestia teleported herself to Acorna and unleashed a bolt of holy sun magic. Acorna met it with her own, the powers of two alicorns matching for the briefest of moments.

“Twilight!” Cult-Leader Fluttershy called. “Retreat!”

Acorna, for once, listened to her friend. She teleported them through her portal back to their world. Celestia forced the portal to remain open, following them.

The demons looked at each other, shrugged, and decided that attacking any Twilight Sparkle was fair game now.

“Hey!” Twix shouted. “Stop it! Get away!”

Scooter and Pinkie hit them back with gigantic hammers.

“PINKIE!” Jack called to her pink ‘friend’. “TELL THEM TO FOCUS ON ACORNA! Idjit! That’s obvious!”

Dinkie shrugged. “Sorry broo! Can’t do that, already told them not to stop!”

“But they just stopped when OJ asked!” Twix shouted.

“Yeah, I dunno what that was about, but it sure made for some nice dramatic tension!”

Jack glared at Dinkie. “Dinkie, ya are such a moron.”

“Yeeeeah…”

The three remaining princesses strained against the Demon horde. “This… Is harder without that other Celestia…” Luna strained.

“I’ve got a plan,” Trollestia said. She teleported Twix, unicorn Twilight, and the Charter to her. “Hey demons! Look at these tasty purple snacks!”

“WHAT!?” unicorn Twilight shouted. “What are you doing!?”

“The plan.” Trollestia spread her wings and flew through the portal to Acorna’s universe, leading the entire demon horde with her. The two Lunas looked at each other, shrugged, and followed the horde through.

Thrackerzod stood up tall. “Sweetie Belle?”

“Yes?” Sweetie responded.

“Are we allowed to go through that portal… and kill Twilight Acorna Sparkle?”

“Hell yes!” Sweetie Brute shouted.

“It seems like the best of all possible options,” Squeaky added.

“Acorna was really mean and Twilight called her evil!” Sweetie Bot pointed out.

Sweetie Belle gulped. “F-fine. You can go after her.”

Thrackerzod grabbed her hoof. “Let’s do it together. I… I would like that.”

Squeaky, Sweetie Bot, and Sweetie Brute stood behind Thrackerzod. Sweetie Belle bit her lip, thinking about what Renee had told her – about sometimes needing to do the hard thing. About sometimes hurting ponies to do what was right. To save others. It was only a matter of time before the demons killed somepony, if they hadn’t already…

She was surprised they hadn’t…

“You’re welcome!” Scooter called to her for reasons she didn’t understand.

“All right. Let’s do this,” Sweetie Belle said, readying herself.

Squeaky nodded. “Right! So, if we’re going to do this, we need to be organized. Here’s the plan…”

Nearby, Scooter looked at Pinkie. “So the Princesses are going to deal with each other, the Sweeties have Acorna… What about… The other thing?”

“What other thing?”

“You know what other thing.”

“Oh. That. I guess we’re on that.”

“Great. No, The Editor cannot help us.”

I can hepl!

“And like that, you’ve just completely ruined your case,” Scooter said, shaking her head. “Come on, Pinkie.”

~~~

Acorna glanced behind her – and saw the angry, brutal Celestia in hot pursuit. She saw her own version of Spike running alongside her.

Spike looked up at Acorna. “Twilight, what are you thinkin-“

Acorna tripped him. He fell face-first in the mud, but Celestia paid him no mind.

“That didn’t slow her down at allll!” Acorna wailed.

Her Rainbow Dash and Applejack ran alongside her. “Sugarcube, Ah hate to break it to you, but Ah don’t think we can beat her.”

“We just need to survive long enough!” Acorna said. “They’ll come to defend me!”

“Rainbow!” Rainbow Dash said.

“Nobody cares enough for your stupid selfish self to come and save you,” Celestia’s deep voice came to Acorna’s ears, chilling her to the bone. “You are naught but a child in a game of gods. You do not deserve those wings you bear.”

Acorna’s brain switched from ‘fear’ to ‘rage’ in an instant, turning to Celestia and blasting her with the strongest insta-death laser she could muster. Celestia was knocked back – but she essentially just shrugged it off. “You cannot hold a candle to me,” Celestia said, grabbing the alicorn in her telekinesis. “It is time to die, whelp.”

Another Celestia appeared – the one native to this universe. She tore her student from the angry Celestia’s grasp. “I am afraid I cannot let you do that.”

“Ah. I was wondering if you would appear. Tell me, what brings you to accept and bestow such power to an asinine student?”

“…Not all of it was my choice. She… It does not matter. She is my student, and I will defend her.”

“Heh.” There was that smile again. “Even your own mentor doesn’t care much for you, Acorna, fighting only out of a sense of duty rather than genuine care.”

“I saw how you looked at your Twilight!” Acorna shouted. “You don’t either!”

“Gods show their affections in mysterious ways, little Acorna.” She lit her horn. “Prepare for a battle.” Something gave her pause. “…Wait, where’s your Fluttershy?”

“Why am I supposed to know where my friends are?” Acorna demanded.

That question never got answered, because Trollestia appeared with the other Twilights. “Don’t mind me, just leading a demon horde to your position!”

Acorna’s Celestia gasped. “What? They’ll destroy Ponyville!”

“Are destroying Ponyville!” Trollestia corrected.

The brutal Celestia glared at Trollestia. “Are you here to take a side?”

“Oh no, I’m just here to watch the fireworks! But I think one of these Twilights will join you.”

Charter-Twilight nodded, teleporting to the brutal Celestia’s side. “Acorna, one of us has to go to end this game. I… I am sorry, but it’s going to be you.”

Acorna roared. “NO IT IS NOT!”

“She’s right!” Trollestia’s Luna said, appearing behind her. “We can’t just kill a pony!”

“Yes you can,” Trollestia said.

“Sand?” the other Luna said, showing up in a flash of magic. “I really don’t know what we’re arguing about or what I’m doing here.”

“We’re setting up an epic fight of the gods!” Trollestia grinned. “On one side… Uh… that Celestia. And on this side. A Celestia and… my sister. Erm…”

“That didn’t help me understand this at all.”

Trollestia facehooved. “Oh this is a disaster. Okay, you? You are Sanduna. You, mentor of Acorna? You’re Cornlestia.”

Luna facehooved. “Can everyone just take a side? Like, on opposite sides of a line so we can figure out who’s who?”

On one side, the Celestia who was never renamed, and Charter Twilight. On the other, Luna, Cornlestia, and Acorna. Sanduna and Trollestia were on the sidelines.

“For the sake of balance I choose this team!” Sanduna said, walking over to Charter Twilight.

“And the teams are set!” Trollestia said. “Who will win? The saviors of life, or the bringers of death? Who has the-“

“CELESTIA!” Luna shouted. “What is wrong with you?”

“I agree with your sister,” Celestia deadpanned. “Is this all a game to you?”

“…Celestia, life is a game. A game of pawns, rooks, and little oblong go stones. Every move is precisely calculated and intentional. The whole board matters in a way I’m sure you understand.”

Celestia narrowed her eyes. “…You have chosen a side.”

“Yeeeees! My own!”

“…You’re a dangerous one, ‘Trollestia’.”

“Took you long enough to realize that. You get a consolation cookie.”

They had forgotten all about the missing Fluttershy. No one put the pieces together when the eclipse started happening…

~~~

Backup plans upon backup plans…

Fluttershy knew she needed them this time. She didn’t know she needed almost all of them. The one thing she had been counting on – her presence – had almost been torn from this altar by some petty dispute of Acorna’s making.

But she was here, now, and all the preparation had been worth it. The ritual didn’t need the dancing, or the paint, or even most of the raccoons. Not when she had unicorns lace the entire clearing with magic months ago.

She could do this alone if she had to. And she did. There was already enough energy from the cult here…

She held out her hoof, her flowing purple robes rippling in the ever-increasing breeze, the golden lace reflecting sharp rays of light.

She held a single torch up high, the tip burning with purple flame. The last step.

She threw it into the hole. Magic circles around the entire clearing lit up, flashing with deep purple patterns that rotated around the hole like some kind of interlocking machine.

“Drat!” Pinkie called from behind her. “We’re too late!”

“We were always going to be too late,” Scooter said, cracking her neck. “We just have to deal with it now.”

Fluttershy turned to them and smiled. It was a soft, calm smile – but the eyes were evil. “Welcome to the resurrection of Lord Smooze, Pinkies. I had hoped that, when this day would come, my Pinkie would face off against me. She was always the one who flew in my face with her witchy ways and her portals… But I suppose I will have to make do with the two of you.” She held a hoof wide, pointing behind her at the hole. “Behold. Your savior, Lord Smooze.”

A green blob slightly larger than a pony appeared above the hole in the ground. It smirked.

Fluttershy blinked. “Jeff the Blob?”

Jeff the Blob nodded. “Yes. It is time to give you what you want.” He pulled a zipper, transforming into a purple blob. He fell into the hole. A tsunami of purple goo riddled with eyes and huge, gaping mouths erupted from the hole. Fluttershy flapped her wings, flying into the air alongside her Lord, all confusion gone from her face. The Smooze gurgled and churned, already devouring the land in the center of the clearing with its power.

Pinkie produced a gigantic vacuum cleaner and Scooter turned it on. The Smooze was sucked in, glob by glob, shunted to nowhere.

Fluttershy was having none of this. Her Lord was here, and he knew she was his high priestess. She could direct him. With a simple flick of her hoof, the Smooze circled around the two Pinkies and attacked them from behind.

“Augh!” Scooter said. “She’s not an idiot!”

“I’m just as surprised as you are!” Pinkie said, producing a trampoline and using it to get the two of them out of the Smooze’s ‘smoozing’ range.

Fluttershy laughed. It wasn’t an evil laugh, more of a slightly crazed giggle, but the lack of evil in the tone just made it disturbing. “Foolish Pinkies. Nothing can stop the Smooze.”

“Scooter, now would be a good time to read that script and discover how we defeat it.”

“But I may not be able to say anything!”

“I’d just like to have some confirmation that we don’t leave this world to be completely consumed by the Smooze.”

“Oh. Give me a minute…”

~~~

Trollestia was slightly wrong – the demon horde wasn’t exactly destroying Ponyville, because they were being held back by an unexpected duo.

Vriska and Hastur.

Both of them were sure the princesses had Acorna under control. All it had taken from Vriska was a little comment to Hastur about protecting the town and letting Thrackerzod do what she needed to do, and he was on board. Two beings that had been at each other's throats only a few minutes ago were suddenly working side by side, facing off against a demonic power surge.

The demon army Hastur had focused so much of his energy into was almost gone at this point.

“The irony of this situation is not lost on me. If this goes south I will be written up for joining you on a whim to defend lower lifeforms from collateral damage.”

“I know how you feel, Hastur. But hey, this feels good, doesn’t it?”

“In a slightly outlandish, nerve-wracking fashion, yes. This is taking too long though.”

“Don’t worry about your nut-guy, I can vouch for you.”

“Your word will mean nothing.”

“I was thinking a little more of letting my dice do the talking.”

“You are a very foolish and impulsive deity, Vriska Serket.”

“Aw, look! You remembered my name!”

The two of them barely noticed the troop of five Sweetie Belles running past them, Squeaky shouting orders like she was some kind of war general.

Which she was, but it’s not like they could know that.

Children generals.

Insanely brilliant.

~~~

Gods of the sun, moon, and magic fought each other in the high atmosphere. As the fight went on, they rose higher and higher. They were high enough to see stars now. Twix and unicorn Twilight had been left on the ground long ago, leaving only alicorns in the battle.

Celestia the Brutal got the idea to use the sun as a weapon first. Cornlestia fought back, but her hold on her celestial body was not as impressive as her counterpart’s determination. The burning ball of plasma approached their position, straining all the alicorns’ magic shields.

Luna grabbed the moon. “I will ram the moon into the sun! Don’t think I won’t!”

Charter-Twilight teleported all of them onto the moon. “Nobody’s destroying any moons or suns! We can’t destroy this world – we have to-“

Acorna blasted her in the face, strong enough to launch her out of the moon’s gravity well. “SCREW YOU AND YOUR STUPID SPEECHES!”

“SAND!” Sanduna yelled, taking control of the moon dust and forcing it toward Acorna in a wave of gray power. Luna stamped her feet, turning the entire moon in such a way to force the powder back to the ground and to disorient everypony on it. She forced the celestial body further and further from the blue orb of Equis itself.

Celestia was having none of this. She pulled the sun past the moon and placed it in front of the moon’s trajectory. Luna had to stop quickly, or else she would have doomed them all to a fiery death. As it was, they all felt pretty toasty.

Trollestia had summoned a grill with her magic and was cooking bacon. “Can I just say this is quite possibly the coolest thing I’ve ever seen?”

“Shut up!” Luna shouted, moving the moon sharply out of the sun’s heat. Celestia tried to move it back, but Cornlestia slowed the Sun enough.

“You! Sand Luna!” Celestia shouted. “Stop the moon!”

“Oh, right, sorry, I was caught up in the cool space battle.”

“I know right?” Trollestia called. “So hard to focus when the stars are dancing around you like cakes!”

Sanduna grinned. “Yes! Maybe, after this is over, we could hold celestial battle olympics?”

“Yeeeeeeees!”

“SANDUNA!” Celestia yelled. “NOW!”

Sanduna shook her head. “Right. Ahem. STOOOOP MOON!”

The moon stopped moving.

“…Darn,” Luna muttered.

“You know, is this fight supposed to be serious?” Acorna said. “Because all I see is a bunch of ‘gods’ fighting like pathetic children. It’s quite amusing, really!”

“Are you trying to upset everypony?” Twilight questioned.

“What? No! I’m being funny! I’m funny. Ponies love my humor!”

“Twilight, they do not,” Cornlestia said.

“But… But… But I can get them to do whatever I want!”

“A fact of life I have just had to accept,” Cornlestia said, deflecting lasers from Sanduna and Twilight.

“…You have betrayed me.”

“What?” Cornlestia shook her head. “I’m trying to save you!”

“What a nice job you’re doing! Questioning me?”

“Acorna, are you really going to do this now? Your life is in danger!”

“Pfft. I can’t die. I’m the Princess of the Night. Nopony can touch me!”

Twilight’s pupils dilated. “…Melinda.”

“What?” Celestia said, sensing the horrified tone in Twilight meant something important.

“There are beings out in the universe who, by some trick of nature, are surrounded by an aura of ‘perfection.’ It’s almost as if they cannot lose in any interaction.”

Celestia glowered. “How does one defeat these beings?”

“I don’t know! I haven’t seen many! The only one I’ve ever seen lose was when we asked her to help deal with a problem out of her context!”

Luna blinked. “Wait… Twilight, are you saying this alicorn, this… Acorna… can’t lose within her own world?”

“It sure seems likely!”

Luna looked at Acorna, torn. “…Acorna. How do you treat your friends?”

“Like royalty!”

“She tripped Spike hoping to slow me down,” Celestia deadpanned.

“But that’s Spike! He’s worthless.”

Luna took a few steps back from Acorna. “…You’re a monster, aren’t you?”

“What? No. No I’m not! I’m the Princess of the Night and everypony loves me!”

Trollestia appeared in front of Acorna and shook her head. “You know, I’d think even someone with clinical insanity would be able to see, at this point, that they’re pretty unpopular in the current company.” She turned to Luna. “Glad to have you on the same page, Luna. I was beginning to wonder if you would realize.”

“…Wait, did you not fight just to make sure I would learn… So I wouldn’t take out my… DAMN IT! Why do you always have to be so clever!?”

“I’m the Princess of the Sun!”

Something broke in Acorna. “You don’t get to say that! You don’t get to say that!” She rushed forward, ready to skewer Trollestia through the heart – but then she vanished in a puff of white light.

The alicorns blinked. “What just happened?” Sanduna asked.

“I teleported her away,” Cornlestia said, sitting down. “And then I placed a teleport locker on the moon. None of us are going anywhere.”

Celestia grabbed Cornlestia by the throat. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t dash your brains out on these gray rocks and create a masterpiece with this moon as my canvas and your bodily fluids as my paint.”

Cornlestia sighed. “I don’t have one, besides that it would make you look evil to the other ponies around you.”

Celestia dropped her. She turned to the Lunas. “Start moving the moon back to Equis.”

There was silence.

“DID I STUTTER?”

The Lunas quickly started moving the moon back.

~~~

Twix, Rarity, The Bird, Flutterfree, Jack, and Dinkie tried to use the Elements of Harmony on the Smooze as it poured across the countryside toward Ponyville. That had only a minimal effect on a small area of the oncoming purple storm of goo and destruction.

“Well, Ah move that we call it a loss and retreat to safety,” Jack said. “We’re right doomed if we stay here.”

Flutterfree furrowed her brow – and a lightbulb went off in her head. “I have an idea, but I need to find the center of the Smooze. You all can run if you want – I have to go.” She flew over the top of the Smooze, careful to avoid its slow-moving blasts of goo shot at her overhead form.

Twix sighed. “Fine, let’s retreat back to our universe, or go help Vriska with those demons, or something… I sure hope something like the Smooze doesn’t exist in our world…”

The Bird folded her hooves. “Our Smooze would totally listen to us more than this one. I can see… A friendlier, greener, goopy thing.”

“Hello,” Twix said.

“Hello,” The Bird responded.

“The Bird, we have to go, Now.”

“Good move,” Jack said. “Now, Ah say we go to my universe, it’s got quite a lot of… infrastructure.”

Dinkie nodded. “Can confirm. Lots of it. Most of it owned by Jack here, broo.”

“Pinkie, piss off. Wait, why are we working with ya now?”

“I’m not your enemy anymore! And it’s Dinkie now, Jack!”

“Not for long it ain’t…”

“Aw…”

Rarity screamed. “SWEETIE!” She shouted, holding out a hoof. Everypony turned to look – seeing the five Sweetie Belles riding a boat made of black eldritch magic over the top of the Smooze.

Twix blinked, mildly surprised to see that the Smooze was unable to damage the eldritch power. “…I think they’ll be fine. We won’t be, not if we stay here. C’mon, let’s move.”

The Sweetie Belles moved across the Smooze, eyes serious.

“Do you remember the plan?” Squeaky said.

“Yep,” all four said.

“Good. The Smooze will actually help a bit. I’m sure you see how.”

“I don’t!” Sweetie Bot said, grinning.

“That’ll be fine. I trust the others to use it.”

“We need a name!” Sweetie Brute said. “What are we? The Sweet Things? The Cutables? The Demolishers?”

“The League of Sweetie Belles,” Sweetie Belle said, smiling.

“Name approved!” Sweetie Bot chirped.

“It’ll work nicely,” Squeaky added.

Thrackerzod shrugged. “Sure, I guess. It does sound somewhat childish, but organized… Appropriate.”

Squeaky nodded. “Now we just need to find Acorna…”

Acorna appeared in front of them with a flash of solar energy, looking very confused.

“…Convenient,” Sweetie Belle commented.

“GO GO GO!” Squeaky shouted, ordering Sweetie Bot and Sweetie Belle to their part of the plan.

Sweetie Belle held on to Sweetie Bot as she activated her rocket feet, launching into the air. She flung herself at Acorna. “Hey Acorna!”

Acorna grabbed Sweetie Belle with her magic. “What the-“

Sweetie Bot rammed into Acorna from the side while she was distracted, knocking her toward the Smooze below. Acorna tried to recover, but a tendril of Smooze grabbed her low-altitude body. “Augh! What is this stuff!?”

“The Smooze,” Thrackerzod said, carefully manipulating a half dozen eldritch constructs to keep the Smooze from devouring everypony, including an altar under Acorna – though the Smooze still encased her wings and horn. She tried to fight back, but the goo of the Smooze kept her down.

“No! I am the Princess of the Night!”

“That doesn’t mean anything!” Squeaky shouted. “You are just a tyrant. This world will probably be better off without you!” She lit her horn, casting the spell Thrackerzod had taught her – the soul-binding spell, one Thrackerzod was too busy to cast herself at the moment. “Brute, now!”

Sweetie Brute took a knife out of Squeaky’s mane and leaped onto the altar where Acorna stood. Acorna screamed as she felt her soul separating from her body, but not quite ready to leave. She tried her hardest to move, but the Smooze – the Smooze was too much.

Sweetie Brute held the knife high. Sweetie Belle and Sweetie Bot looked away.

They heard a disgusting shik.

A few seconds later, Thrackerzod called to them. “It is done.”

They looked down. There was no sign of Acorna’s body, or Thrackerzod’s altar. There was just their black eldritch-construct boat and a jar with a purple spark of life in it.

“That her?” Sweetie Belle asked, jumping back to the boat.

“Yes,” Thrackerzod said. “She will be turned over to Hastur, where she will take the place of the original Twilight. The solution is unjust, but it works the best out of our limited options.”

Sweetie Bot nodded slowly. Sweetie Belle sighed. “This… This is wrong.”

“As you saw me tell a chicken, life is full of decisions where there is no right choice.”

“Right. Loss of innocence, and all that. Heh. Think we’re summoning Hastur with what we’re doing?”

“I wouldn’t remove the possibility,” Thrackerzod said. “Come on, let’s get out of here. …Somepony else can deal with this Smooze.”

Somewhere not so far away, the handful of remaining demons vanished, their contract fulfilled.

Vriska twitched. “…I was so hoping for a complete slaughter…”

Hastur just shrugged.

~~~

Flutterfree landed on top of a tree, one tall enough and large enough to withstand the force of the Smooze for now. She could see her counterpart, the cult leader, fighting Pinkie and Scooter.

Flutterfree took a breath. Here goes nothing.

“Just remember what Tree Hugger taught you…” Flutterfree said, remembering how they ‘defeated’ the Smooze of her universe – sonic vibrations.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, whee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee…” Flutterfree announced, almost singing the zen tones for the Smooze to hear.

The effect was instant. It stopped spreading.

Fluttershy noticed this instantly, turning to Flutterfree with rage. “What are you doing?! HOW ARE YOU DOING IT!?”

Flutterfree ignored her, continuing the calming chant, guiding the Smooze back into its hole with sound.

Pinkie appeared next to Flutterfree, wearing her mane like Tree Hugger. “It’s, like, relaxing sonic vibrations designed to release the Smooze’s pent up stress.”

Scooter appeared as well, wearing her mane in a similar fashion. “Like, just go with the flow Fluttershy, Lord Smooze is really enjoying this treatment.”

Fluttershy pointed a hoof at them. The Smooze generated a tremendous tendril of purple horror, shifting toward all three of them.

Pinkie deflected it with a ping-pong paddle.

“This… This… This is so absurd!” Fluttershy screamed. “This is just absurd!”

Scooter shrugged. “Well, we already had our serious confrontation back there. We had to have something stupid here!”

“And you know what?” Pinkie said. “It actually makes some sense!”

“No it doesn’t!” Fluttershy wailed.

“You had to be there.”

Soon, the Smooze pushed itself back down the hole, vanishing from the world altogether, leaving Fluttershy powerless. She descended to the ground, staring at the now-empty hole. “Not again…”

Scooter slapped a pair of hoofcuffs around her. “And now you’re under arrest for mysterious cult activity.”

Pinkie slapped another pair on her wings. “Yeah! Enjoy some time inside whatever slammer we slam you into!”

Fluttershy took in a deep breath and sighed, accepting her fate. “You win.”

“Good! HEY FLUTTERFREE! YOU CAN STOP ZENNING NOW!”

“Ee-ee-ee- oh.” Flutterfree blushed. “Sorry, guess I got a little carried away. It was pretty relaxing.”

Pinkie winked. “It’s okay. Everything’s worked out now! Time to wrap this up!”

~~~

There was a meeting held at the only version of Twilight’s castle in the four universes, the one in the fabled land of Ultra Fast. Nopony knew why it was called Ultra Fast, and the more ponies asked around the less sense it made. Four Lunas, Four Celestias, and Charter-Twilight were locked inside the throne room, discussing fervently.

“But that kind of talk is boring,” Scooter said, “so why don’t you hang out here with the rest of us who are just waiting?”

“Nice,” Pinkie said. “Would have been better if you were actually addressing somepony that wasn’t behind the wall.”

Scooter shrugged. “Eh, I do what I can.”

“But let’s see what everypony’s talking about! Be a team of convenient eavesdroppers. Won’t that be fun?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it would,” Scooter chuckled.

The two Pinkies slowly began to move from conversation to conversation, like spies.

Twix raised a surprised eyebrow at unicorn Twilight. “Wow, you have it rough. I mean, I got the impression your Celestia was a little mean, but she threatened to have you eaten?”

“Yeah. And I’m pretty sure she was completely serious at the time.” She took a swig of the unidentifiable alcoholic drink she had in her hoof. “My life was pretty terrible.”

“I could probably convince my Celestia to take you in.”

“I don’t want to suffer from an accusation of treachery, and frankly your Celestia seems annoying.”

“What? Noooo… She’s the best! Like, ever! She’s old, wise, thoughtful, and funny!”

“That last one there, see, that’s the problem. A leader can’t garner respect with the amount of crap she clearly pulls all the time. I don’t know how your society continues to function.”

“I believe I heard it put like this once… She’s insanely brilliant.”

“And I can’t argue with logic like that.”

“Dears,” Renee said, passing them by with her group of four Raritys. “Hrm… Twilight, are you the only one here from your universe?”

“I’m pretty sure Spike is somewhere around, but… Yeah. I’m pretty alone here.”

“Do you remember what I said?”

Twilight looked out into the distance, gaze stern. “…I do. And there’s a chance, a chance that’s larger than I would like to admit, that you were right. Maybe I’m just doing this all to myself. It would certainly make a lot of sense.”

Renee nodded. “Good. All I ask now is that you think about what else you can do. Trust me, working with others is a great way to improve your own life. Make some real friendships and work at them. It’s worth trying out, at least. Enjoy your… punch?”

“I have no idea what this is.”

“Huh. Enjoy it anyway.” She trotted off, catching up with the other Raritys. The Pinkies decided to follow, going with some semblance of ‘order’ to the eavesdropping. “So, ladies, I propose we have a night on the town at some point. No, Mattie, there will not be any death-defying erotic stunts.”

Mattie, the Ultra Fast Rarity who had tried to name herself Masochity, shrugged. “Hey, I’ll find some way to get my enjoyment, and you know it.”

“So long as it isn’t with weapons,” Rarity said huffing. “My PTDD is barely being held back since the thing with my sister.”

“Um, PTDD?” Charity asked.

“Post Traumatic Dress Disorder.”

“Um. That’s a thing?”

“Yes it’s a thing! Really, Charity, I expected better of you!”

“Um. Okay… I’m sorry? I was just… surprised, is all. It sounds odd. Care to describe it?”

Rarity did, in fact, decide to describe it, but the Pinkies turned their attention to another conversation – Mattie, Jack, and OJ.

“So ya finally did somethin’ worthwhile,” Jack said. “Ya could write a book about that, sell millions. Ah’ll be yer manager.”

“Nah, I don’t need to write a book,” OJ said. “I think I’m ready to go back to Canterlot High with my newfound confidence!”

“Dear, we all know you’re just going to regress in character development by the next movie,” Matty said.

“N-no I won’t! I won’t! You’ll see! I am OJ, Sunset Shimmer of Ultra Fast, and I will have confidence!”

“…Movie?” Renee asked, butting in.

“Don’t worry about it,” Mattie said.

“I’m worrying about it!”

“Awwwww yeahhhh…”

Renee glanced around for the source of the sudden strange voice. “Where did that come from?”

“Oh. That’s just Phil. Don’t worry about him either.”

Renee pulled her hat down and shook her head. “Too much nonsense…”

You can say that again.

Scooter dragged Pinkie into a side hallway. “The Editor! What are you doing here? This isn’t even your universe!”

I wanted to see what was happening. Like you.

“Awww yeeeeah, two mysterious voices, talking together! Best bros, him and I!”

We are not friends, Phil.

“Awwwwwww noooooo…”

I am also not a voice.

“This is dumb,” Scooter said. “You two, just… Talk amongst yourselves here. Don’t shatter anypony’s worldview, okay?”

“Awwwwww yeeeeeeah…”

I’m done with this.

The Pinkies shrugged and returned to the main group. They ran into the League of Sweetie Belles.

“Can we kill monsters more often together? That was a lot of fun!” Sweetie Brute cheered.

Squeaky shook her head. “I have a job. I can probably stay in contact with you girls, but I’m very busy and no I can’t tell you what I’m doing. Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Sweetie Belle said. “You’re still part of the League, even if you won’t always be with us. I’m sure I can get you a dimensional device even! And a computer connected to the Internet! Oh, there are so many videos I want to show you!”

“I am curious to see what an interdimensional Internet has to offer,” Thrackerzod said. “I predict both more amazing and more depraved content than even my twisted mind can imagine! Horrors from beyond the depths of the darkest dreams!”

Sweetie Bot chuckled. “The creepy levels have no bound!”

“Precisely, my robotic friend.” Something occurred to Thrackerzod, making her stop in her tracks. “Wait…”

“What’s wrong?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“I’ve finished my contract. That means my purpose for this body is done.” She looked at the ground. “I am to discard it and return to the court of Azathoth.”

“No! Don’t go!” Sweetie Bot called. “We just met you!”

“I am bound…”

“Not as much as you think you are,” Hastur said, walking up to them.

“Hastur?” Thrackerzod said, shaking her head. “How did you get here? I did not summon you.”

“I came under my own power. The nut-head has left, citing that one of his universes is going to need an ‘ass whoopin’ soon. I was no longer under observation, so I came here, and I am glad I did. Thrackerzod, there is nothing in your soul contract that demands you must discard your mortal shell immediately upon completion of your purpose. The wording can easily be taken to mean that you do not return to Azathoth’s court until you discard that mortal shell. The life of a mortal is nothing to our master. You can take a vacation of one lifetime.”

Thrackerzod’s jaw dropped. “You’re serious.”

“I am very serious.”

Thrackerzod grinned – then, realizing it was unbecoming of her to look like a child despite her current form, she coughed and regained her composure. “Ahem. Hastur, I shall take your suggestion and capitalize on it. I shall return to the court of Azathoth upon the expiration of this form in… roughly 200 local years.”

Hastur bowed. “I shall await your return, and will be curious to see what you learn from this experience as a half-mortal.”

“It will be interesting, that is for certain. Have any of us managed to be revealed and not hunted to death before?”

“Not that I am aware of.”

“Thrackerzod is the first!” Sweetie Bot cheered. “Celebrate!”

“Yeah. I am in the mood for a celebration,” Thrackerzod asserted.

The Raritys walked up to the Sweetie Belles. Sweetie Belle looked at Renee guiltily. “Renee, I-“

“You did well, Sweetie. I am proud of what you did – what all of you did – to overcome yourselves and do what needed to be done. Though in the case of Thrackerzod she went in the other direction.”

Rarity hugged Sweetie Bot. “You’re a good little robot, yes you are!”

“Um… Yeah. Good work… Squeaky,” Charity added.

Squeaky rolled her eyes, but chuckled anyway. “Thanks.”

“I hear you cut him open with a knife!” Mattie said. “That’s my girl!”

“Yay! I’m approved!” Sweetie Brute cheered.

Renee moved to Thrackerzod. “I’m still not sure what to make of you.”

“You cannot comprehend me, mortal.”

“You’ve wanted to say that to my face for a long time, haven’t you?”

“It is a phrase I have wished to utter for many years. This form was exceedingly liberating even when it was a secret. Now it has shown me something new.”

“The magic of friendship?” Renee asked, smirking.

Thrackerzod sighed, disgruntled. “Yes…”

“Oh, we should all introduce each other to our crusaders!” Sweetie Belle said.

“That’s… not a good idea in my case,” Squeaky said.

“That’s fine, we can just get everypony who wants to come!”

“Oh!” Sweetie Brute jumped up and down. “You’ll all love Scootaloo! She’s the best!”

The Pinkies moved on to another conversation, this time not even worrying about tying them together.

“Hey there, I’m Rainbow Dash!”

“I am, The Bird.”

“Ermagersh, that’s so cool! Are you, like, an actual bird?”

“No. Just The Bird.”

“But how is that possible?”

“Because, I’m just that awesome.”

“Woah, I’m awesome too! Did we just become best friends?”

“I dunno. I’ll have to think about it a bit.”

“Yes! Success!”

“Why are you called Rainbow Dash, by the way?”

“I… I… Ohmygod I don’t know why we have names! What have you done to me?”

“I just said what came to my mind.”

“Woah… You’re like some super wise guru me!”

“Yeah. I get that a lot.”

“You own a parking lot?”

“What? No. Where’d you get that idea?”

“What idea?”

“A parking lot would be pretty cool though…”

“Oh yeah! That would be awesome!”

The Pinkies had enough of that. They moved on, finding Vriska talking to… Dinkie.

“So… You’re not evil?” Vriska asked.

“Oh no, I’m definitely evil. Demonic pink entity up the whazoo!”

“…Neat.”

“I know, right? Jack has me working with the Apples to scam the world out of its life! Or something. I don’t really know, broo.”

“Your world is lucky you’re so scatterbrained.”

“Yeah. They are.”

“Do you even know what I just said?”

“No way broo, wasn’t listening!”

“Figures.”

“By the way, no hard feelings about me tying you up, right?”

“Hey, I destroyed almost your entire demon army, I think we’re even.”

“Great!”

Finally, the doors to the main meeting hall opened. Four Celestias, Four Lunas, and Charter-Twilight stepped out. “Right,” Twilight said. “We didn’t really make much in the way of decisions. But we have all agreed not to go to war, and to remain in contact with each other. That’s… That’s about it really.” She glanced uncomfortably at the Ultra Fast Celestia. “Otherwise, I think we may have found a way home.”

“Yeeeees!” Trollestia trilled. “My universe has a connection to another universe outside this magical donut our four worlds are in! We are going to use it to break this pattern and send these explorer ponies home! And get our ponies back!”

“Hold up!” Trollestia’s Luna called. “They all need to know about the 4^th dimensional being that guards that world! It doesn’t like ponies coming in!”

“We can take him,” Trollestia asserted. “Or we can explain we’re just doing him a service. He’s all about order isn’t he? Well we’re restoring order.”

Twilight nodded. “Anyway, Flutterfree, Renee, Pinkie, Sweetie Belle, we’re going to try to get home. Vriska, OJ, Sweetie Bot, Bot’s Rarity, and Thrackerzod, I invite you to come with us.”

OJ shook her head. “I think I’m staying. Sorry.”

“It’s your decision.”

Vriska landed next to Twilight. “Of course I’m coming. It’s time for me to get out of here.”

Sweetie Bot looked at Rarity. Rarity shrugged. “I guess we can get ourselves some kind of home with them. I will need to rename myself though…”

Twilight looked at Thrackerzod. Thrackerzod nodded. “I will come. Though I wonder what I will do?”

“Thrackerzod, we have encountered your kind of magic rarely, and it is very poorly understood. I’m offering you a job with our alliance of universes, as the expert on the Eldritch. I understand this may be a step down from your servitude to… whoever it is you serve, but I think you’ll find it rewarding.”

Thrackerzod nodded. “I will not show you or any alicorn any respect, and I get full rein to practice dark magic however I wish.”

“So long as you aren’t using sapient sacrifices.”

“Deal. I’m in.”

Sweetie Belle hugged her. “We’ll get to see a lot of each other!”

Trollestia coughed. “Let’s gooo people! I want to bust the portal open already!”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Right. We will go now – but we will be back, back to say hello to all the new friends we’ve made. I wish all of you luck in your lives, and hope we will be stronger together. Trollestia, take us away.”

“Bwa bwa bwaaaaaa!” Trollestia said, for dramatic effect. She teleported them all to her universe, then into the Everfree Forest where the mirror pool was. She lit her horn, unleashing a beam of sunlight into the water, destroying the obstacle on the other side.

Twilight pulled out her dimensional device. “I’ve got a reading of the other side. I can get us there without going through the Mirror’s Magic.” She looked at everypony there – herself, Renee, Flutterfree, Pinkie, Sweetie Belle, Sweetie Bot, Thrackerzod, Rarity, Vriska, Trollestia, and Luna. “Wait, Luna, why are you here?”

“In case we need to deal with the 4^th dimensional being,” Luna said. “Which I guarantee, he will. From the letter I got from this universe’s Luna, he was ticked off last time the portal was used.”

Twilight shrugged. “Here we go then…” She activated the portal, bringing them to another universe with another mirror pool. Sitting there was a version of Rarity and Twilight Sparkle, though the Twilight was a unicorn. She stared in awe at Charter-Twilight’s wings.

“Oh dear,” the Rarity said, looking worriedly at her Twilight. “This… Complicates things.”

“Sorry,” Charter-Twilight said. “Just passing through.” The rest of the ponies filed out behind her. “I can come back and explain later, but we’re trying to get home to our universe, so…”

“Hey!” Sweetie Bot called to Rarity. “I bet you have a Sweetie Belle! Think she can join the League of Sweetie Belles?”

Thrackerzod raised an eyebrow. “There is no way she has any idea what that is.”

“I can guess,” the native Rarity said. “I’m sorry, my daughter is too young for the type of adventures you all clearly go on.”

Renee sputtered. “DAUGHTER!?”

“…Are they not supposed to be?”

“Every last one is a sister of a Rarity!” Renee said. “I… I cannot process…”

Trollestia snickered. “You should have seen Charity’s report on when she was over here.”

“Wait, that was you?” the native Twilight said. “You… You… That day fucking blew! How was I supposed to know that Rainbow Dash had been replaced!? I was making my move and-“

Luna sighed. “We apologize for any inconvenience we may have caused. …Hasn’t your Luna informed you about our reasonings?”

“…No. Why would she?”

“Because I’ve been writing to her?”

The native unicorns exchanged glances. “News to us.”

Luna rolled her eyes. “Riiiight. Anyway, we just need to test the dimensional framework, and then we’ll be on our way.”

“I should send The Bird over here more often,” Trollestia mused.

“Don’t. You. Dare.” the native Twilight grunted. “I will fucking burn you.”

“Oh, excuse me, didn’t you try to dethrone your Celestia once? How well did that go? Oh right, you got banished to Ponyville for eternity. Oooo – burn!”

Charter-Twilight facehooved. “We don’t have time for this.” She tried connecting to Equis Vitis – nothing.

Vriska grabbed the dimensional device and began to plug in coordinates. “Give me that…”

And that was when the 4^th dimensional being showed up.

Pinkie blinked, staring at the strange being with a wrinkled brown head. “Huh. It really does look like a walnut.”

The native Twilight blinked. “I think it looks more like a stallio-“

“EEENOPE! Not going there!” Pinkie demanded.

“WHAT DID I TELL YOU!?” the being shouted. “I told you that if you went through this thing and upset the balance again, asses would be whooped!”

“Technically you told the other Luna that. She has no idea we’re here,” Luna said.

“I’m still gonna whoop some asses! Prepare them, for you have upset the balance in the universe!”

Charter-Twilight cleared her throat. “I am Charter-Twilight, a prominent member of an alliance of several different universes. We are simply trying to find our way home, and these two royal sisters were kind enough to show us possible passage through this universe. They have no intention of further interfering beyond this visit, if that is what you wish.”

Trollestia coughed. “Oh I dunno, that idea with The Bi-“

“No intention,” Charter-Twilight insisted, talking over Trollestia. She wasn’t looking at the princess, so she had no idea what she’d been saying, but Twilight knew well enough at this point whatever it was couldn’t have been good. “We will go home and never bother this universe again.”

“Dimensional travelers, huh? You listen to me little alicorn, you think you can mess with these powers you don’t understand? There are forces that are unbalanced by your mere existence in other planes. One of these days you’ll find yourself in a place and then BAM, you’ll screw it up, KA-POW! No, you don’t get to come back here at all, and if I can I think I’ll stop you from traveling at all-“

“You do not have jurisdiction over all those worlds!” Thrackerzod blurted. “You cannot act over them, they formed outside of your territory, and acting outside of your space just makes things worse. You know the instability of this universe is because of your universe’s proximity, do you not!?”

“Thrackerzod. I’ve heard a lot about you. I-“

“Shut your nutty mouth! You have jurisdiction over this world. We will promise never to return here. But you can’t have any sway over the others.”

The 4^th dimensional being pointed at Trollestia and Luna. “I have some say with them. If you really want to cut this deal, you must listen to my decree. You cannot interfere with their war. None of you.”

Charter-Twilight nodded. “Deal.”

“Good. Now go home before I decide that assess need to be whooped anyway!” He vanished into time itself.

Thrackerzod blinked. “Hastur wasn’t kidding, that guy is unbearable.”

Charter-Twilight turned to Trollestia and Luna. “I hope you don’t mind, but we can’t help you now. I’d… Rather not upset whatever organization he’s apart of.”

“We understand,” Luna said. “It is our burden, and our burden alone.”

“Got it!” Vriska said, pointing the dimensional device and opening a portal directly to the nexus universe that Corona and Sparky were in. “Woohoo! Made it back!”

Charter-Twilight waved to the native Twilight and Rarity. “Bye. I don’t think we’ll see each other again.” They vanished inside the portal.

The native Rarity looked at Twilight. “…You’d do best to forget the existence of those wings.”

“...Rarity, do you ever get the feeling we are but tiny ants in a tree on a planet about to crash into the sun?”

“…Sometimes?”

“Fuck, now I’m going to be existential all day.”

“It happens to the best of us.”

Meanwhile, in the nexus universe, Vriska threw her dice at the exposed center. The glowing white light that started this whole mess vanished as a giant fish ate it. She let out a breath. “Good, there we go, the connections are reset.”

“…What?” Renee asked.

“We were trapped in those four universes because this nexus decided to rearrange the connections between them for some reason. Now we should be able to easily travel to them directly. Or, well, you will. I’ll just keep traveling around by luck.”

Twilight smiled. “Thanks, Vriska. It was nice to see you again.”

“Nice to see you too, Charter. But I must go – I’ve got some business to take care of. I’ve heard rumors that an old friend of mine, Aradia, has been seen around here. Haven’t seen her for quite a few years. I’m going to track her down.” She vanished into another universe.

Twilight blinked. “…Well that was a fast goodbye.”

“The irony is painful,” Pinkie muttered.

“Huh?”

“You’ll understand by the finale.”

“…What?”

Corona raised a hoof. “Um, does anyone want to explain to me what happened?”

Trollestia grinned. “Well, once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, there were two regal sisters. One was amazing and raised the sun in all her amazing glory. The other… kinda sucked.”

Luna gasped. “Celestia!”

Chuckles rippled through the group of ponies.

~~~

Twilight returned to her castle to find chaos. Nova grabbed her by the neck and screamed. “HELP ME!!!”

Twilight saw four ponies within the castle. One was clearly the alicorn she had replaced less than a day ago, a look of panic on her face. There was a Rarity who was busy looking at herself in the mirror with a dissatisfied expression, and a Fluttershy who seemed to be scared of everything. Then there was a Pinkie Pie with a cauldron chanting something about stitches in time and undoing what was wrong.

“ATTENTION PONIES!” Twilight called, getting the four’s attention instantly. “Who wants to go home?”

“Oh! Yes please!” the Pinkie said. “I didn’t want to deal with nine portals again! Call that timing!”

“Oh thank you thank you!” the Fluttershy called, laying herself at Twilight’s hooves. “I didn’t know how much longer I could handle this, man!”

“I dunno,” the Rarity said. “Go back? Really, what’s there for me? I… Well I guess there’s the girls, but that’s a mixed blessing… Though I do suppose I’ll actually be allowed to see some stallions rather than be locked up in this clambake of a castle...”

Thrackerzod poked her head into the castle. “You are going back and that’s final.”

“Sweetie Belle-“

“I am Thrackerzod, a being from beyond the dark from whence nightmares fear to tread and you will address me as such!”

“Dear, stop being so sill-“

Thrackerzod levitated her Rarity into the air and glared. “Rarity…”

“Right, Thrackerzod! Whatever you say, Thrackerzod!”

“Good.”

Twilight turned to the other Twilight. “You?”

“Oh, I guess I could stay here and try to find myself… But, you know, I do have friends back in my home, even if they are a bunch of idiots. And Applejack.”

“I don’t envy you.”

“Yeah. I’m just glad this special is over.”

“…Uh… Okay?”

“Right! So, take us home!”

Twilight opened a portal for her counterpart. She smiled, nodded, and returned home.

The Pinkie lined up next. “I think I’ll write a song about this!”

“You’ll have plenty to write about when you return home. ...Your Fluttershy is imprisoned and your Twilight is no more.”

Pinkie sighed. “...It’s not like they treated me very well to begin with… I’ll just try to find some friends.”

“I’m available, and so are the ponies here.”

“Thank you! I’m sure we’ll meet again!” She bounced through the next portal Twilight made.

Thrackerzod pointed at her ‘sister’. “Get her home.”

Rarity huffed. “I never-”

Thrackerzod shook her head and glared. “Not. One. Snide. Remark.”

“Oh, fine. But you should at least try to speak with digni-”

Thrackerzod created the portal herself and threw Rarity into it. “Done. So done.”

Lastly, Nova pushed Fluttershy toward Twilight, “Now, Fluttershy, you don’t need your hoof held so tightly anymore. You can go back home and I won’t have to keep careful watch over you!”

Fluttershy gulped. “Man, portals are scary though! Very scary! Totally not my thing!”

“Your friends miss you,” Twilight said, opening a portal to her world. “They want you back.”

“I dunno man, that looks scary and shiny…”

Scooter popped out of the portal and dragged Fluttershy through, “Thanks Charter-Twilight!”

“AUGH!” Fluttershy said. “Pinkie, don’t do that! I… I… I could have been disintegrated!”

“No, you couldn’t have.” Scooter waved. “Bye!”

With the last portal closing, Twilight was now standing alone with Nova and Thrackerzod.

Nova let out a breath. “None of them knew how to listen. All crazy. Every last one. Thank you, I couldn’t take much more.” She looked at Thrackerzod. “This one feels like Majora.”

“She’s our new expert,” Twilight said. “Treat her well.”

“I don’t trust how she feels.”

“Nova, she’s proven herself. And she’s probably better than Alushy.”

“That is not a high bar to cross.”

“I am standing right here,” Thrackerzod muttered.

Twilight laughed. “Right, sorry.” She yawned. “Anyway, I think I’m going to turn in. See you girls much later, I’m sure my paperwork will have piled up from me being away for so long.” She walked away. She knew they were probably saying things to her, but one of the perks of being deaf was that she didn’t have to respond after she no longer wanted to. She went up to her room, laid down into her bed, and sighed.

She felt something lumpy under her wing.

She removed a small golden key. Right, she’d taken this during the confrontation from across the portal… It had a weird energy around it, but it hadn’t actually been important. She wondered why she held on to it.

She shrugged – she had no idea. She just levitated it into one of her nearby drawers and stuffed it in, closing it. She’d deal with it in the morning.

By the time morning came, she forgot about it.

Comments

[the other sans]

“Thought so. You’re safe.”Pinkie adjusted her
Why shouldn’t the otherone get a name
small part in the tremendous game Thrackerzod was apart of
the lost innocence must be lostfreshly
4th dimensional beingsthat think they should run
Rarity suddenly had a dress In her hooves and gave it to Twilight
“I think he’s just on vacation and it’s driving him a little nuts,” Scooter whispered back.”
“So, you’re Sweetie?[1]”
Awww yeeeeah, two mysterious voices, talking together!Best bros, him and I
He’s all about order isn’t’ he

1. Forgot your spacing.
2. Forgot your spacing.
3. A part, two words in this case.
4. Forgot your spacing.
5. Forgot your spacing.
6. Extra capitalisation.
7. Extra quotation mark.
8. Extra [1]. Again, for some wierd reason.
9. Forgot your spacing.
10. Extra apostrophe.

A litle
You misspelled ‘little’ up there, by the way

“Great. No, The Editor cannot help us.”
I can hepl!

Oh the irony.

Also, thanks for posting at such an hour that was before I decided to sleep. Because timezones are fun! Blame the universe for that, it works.

[raven618]

To describe this chapter in one word would be...

Chaos-trophic-mad-astity

Definition: (v.) when one has gone to hell and frozen it over with whipped cream, or any event of similar impossibility.

[BestinDworld]

wow good faust that was long

[everydaygamer]

Well... that was a thing. I admit it wasn't until Thrackerzod showed up that I realized what was going on as I haven't watched many parody series.

[Galliar]

I recognized one reference. I feel so left out.

This was a lot of fun regardless, but I feel like I need a bit of soul cleansing.

[zeusdemigod131]

8866651
Oh is that what this is based on? Some kind of mlp abridged thing? I was honestly lost and thought it was just another weird amlagam world like the Tf2 place

[GMBlackjack]

8866781

Yes, this was the mlp abridged series chapter. It's a story I've wanted to write for a long time, but I never thought it worked well as a standalone. (There was similar reasonings for the SFM chapter, I'd always been a fan of the SFM animations and thought the 'world' they formed could be very interesting, but I could never discover a good story to make of it).

I at least hope the plot was followable and enjoyable without knowing all the references. That was a primary concern.

-GM, master of CMC.

[everydaygamer]

8866781
Yeah it was The mentally advanced series, scootertrix the abridged, friendship is witchcraft and I have no clue what the other one was.

[GMBlackjack]

8866807
Ultra Fast Pony

-GM, master of UFP

[Keywii_Cookies55]

8866808
No you aren't, stop lying, XD

[Blaster M]

The meta went meta

[Voltaje]

Is the finale a kingdom heart refetence to a posible arc, if that is the case SWEET, if not, Aww.

[wizard0209]

Well that was insane

[FanOfMostEverything]

I have to appreciate the irony of the abridged series chapter being the longest yet. It was especially bizarre given how I'm only familiar with half of the source material. Also, Hastur x Vriska is now my OTP for this story.

Oh, and as for the matter of Ka, I was able to figure it out from the mention of the Tower Ka-ntext clues, so to speak.

In any case, a lovely serving of insanity. (Possibly four servings.) Here's hoping the key doesn't make the whole story start over... unless it's better that it does.

[Twilight Connor]

When I saw Thrakerzod, I hoped. Rainbow's speech patterns exited me. The mention of the giant hats... DoDoDoDoDoDoDoDoDo. I'm the Princess of the Night, so of course they run in fright~

[Galliar]

So I read this chapter back when you released it and had only a vague idea what you were referencing. I'd heard of FiW and Scootertrox before, but never watched any of them. I'd had fun and thought it was interesting, but unfamiliarity had made it difficult to keep track of which alternate was which in the 'short' time frame of reading the chapter. The references had also all gone straight over my head.

In the time since I've watched all four of the abridged series referenced here. Now, with the context of the source material - a funny word to us in reference to a few abridged series being written into a fanfiction - I could appreciate everything so much more. I could practically hear the parody voices and line delivery this reread, and everypony somehow managed to stay in character throughout. That's impressive, considering you wrote into at least five different continuities mixing and mingling.

The decisions made also all fit together so much better in my head. Acorna had been obnoxious and selfish my first read through, but I hadn't thought her much worse than the Mentally Advanced Twilight. As such I'd thought her demise harsh, especially since she wasn't the one who had sold her soul. Having seen FiW this readthough...? Yeah, sounds good to me. Take her soul.

This chapter introduced me to four abridged series and got me to give them all a shot. I loved every single one. Thank you for that, GM!

[GMBlackjack]

8924085

It's comments like this that make me squee in the morning and do a little dance. Squeeeee.

I'm glad that, not only did you find the chapter worthwhile, but you actually went out and watched the abridged series, and then came BACK and it was still great! Thank you for allowing me to show you some great, funny, and amusing things. I worked hard at this and it's great to know I succeeded. (The Editors/draft readers were split on if this chapter worked or not.) It takes some doing to write dialogue in such a way that known voices come to it.

I also appreciate that you understand the true evil that is Twilight Acorna Sparkle. In any series that wasn't a parody, she'd seriously be the bad guy. Burn the witch.

Thanks!

-GM, master of PCs.

[Lovecraftia]

...

Why do I feel like that key is the Skeleton Key?

[enigmaMystere]

I know both MA Twilight and FiW Twilight. I think it was a good trade. Seriously, FiW Twilight is just... Insufferable.

[kistecool]

I take it League of Sweety Belles is officially understandable now?

[GMBlackjack]

9507894
Mhm! You can get Burgerbelle's origin story if you read a bit further, but let's be honest that doesn't really... matter much. However, the larger scope of the League of Sweetie Belles becomes a major part of the story in the future, so I'd encourage you to keep reading anyway. You'll see Suzie and Burgerbelle occasionally.

...Although technically LSB is written so it's understandable with no knowledge of this story. It should be, anyway, if it isn't I have a problem that needs to be adjusted with edits.

-GM, master of mites.

[Pseudonym1]

As someone who has only seen one of these abridges series out of the four or five, I had a particularly hard time remembering which universe each character was from. I could differentiate them easily enough, but I kept thinking that scooter was from the smooze timeline, or that squeaky was from the ultra fast one. Even now, I still can't tell how many universes there actually were.

[runtrivena]

9519706
I think there were four universes. You're not the only one who hasn't seen the abridged series and had trouble.

[Nudebovine]

As a fan of Scootatrix, Wacarb's Ultra Fast, Mentally Advanced and Friendship is Witchcraft (plus TheKanterlot) this was extremely delightful. I did get lost occasionally on all was from which world. And since i read the lines in the voice from the video it was occasionally jumbled. But mostly excellent and hilarious that my mind couldn't NOT hear it in the correct voice.

Do the authors know and have they commented?

[GMBlackjack]

9647663
AS far as I am aware, none of the abridged series creators are aware of this. Far as I know.

-GM, master of bing.

[Nudebovine]

9647969
I let the scootertrix guy know. Said he's looking forward to reading it to see Trollestia at work.

[GMBlackjack]

9658611
You did? He's gonna READ it? He... Wha...

This is simultaneously the BEST THING EVER and also something that could go terribly, terribly wrong if I screwed up in some way I don't realize.

Heheh...

-GM, master of insanely brilliant.

[DragonMaus]

I. Am. So. Confused.

Keeping all of the different ponies straight was virtually impossible, even with the name thing.
Glad everything worked out, at least, and they picked up the very best aspects of those universes (Sweetie-Bot and Thrackerzod).

[AppleTank]

Hastur: Thrakerzod, your mission is to live with these lesser beings and report to me on what you learned.
Twilight: This feels familiar.

[keybounce]

So, I'm just *starting* this chapter, and:

1. The colors of the glowing tendrils seem to match the colors of the main 6. Intentional?
2. How do you have a white color on the end of a white tendril? :-)

3. You put a title sequence / you tube link in the chapter? I had to leave my kindle to come to the browser to read watch this chapter.
4. And it's a timestamp link to the END of the title song? Sheesh :-).

At least now I know why you call them movie chapters.

EDIT:

Sweetie blinked. “We… Can get home, right?”

Renee nodded slowly. “Oh, of course we can, we got here somehow. The issue is finding out how to get back. Sadly, I only know the most basic dimensional theory…”

Sweetie grinned. “I’ve studied up on it! I could probably do something with enough magic!”

Aha! This is where the seed for League of Sweetie Belles gets planted. :-)

(Yea, I know, our SB doesn't start it.)

EDIT 2:

The two Applejacks stared at each other for a few more seconds before huffing and walking in opposite directions. Jack returned to her Equis with Twilight and OJ.

When they returned, Twilight gave OJ a reassuring smile. “We’re going to try to find another universe, OJ. Does that sound exciting?”

Hmm. I actually expected a lot more at this point. OJ is presumably a unicorn again, and should have had something to say about that. If she is an exile from this Equis, then she is (most likely) a criminal exile from the law here (hey, our Sunset/Corona was fleeing the princess), and should realize that Jack basically controls the law, and presumably her future here.

EDIT 3:
Hmm. Need a good name for CMC that involves summoning. Canterlot Magic Club? Nah, Canterlot Movie Club worked because that town was called Canterlot for some reason, this is Ponyville.

Children of Magical Control? Maybe ...

Contrived Magical Complications? ...

[keybounce]

“Uh, yeah! Your enemies totally are messing up my demon horde! Let’s hit them with the rainbow death laser! C’mon!”

"You got your peanuts in my chocolate" :-).

I am going to have to re-read this one a couple of times just to make sure I've got the circular flow of universes understood, and figure out which character is where at when, and see if I can decipher the why.

How? Dunno :-).

===

Meanwhile, entirely unrelated to this chapter, I'd like to see a "Trollestia" later. An actual "everyone is a homestuck troll" type of universe, set in a Beforus -type universe -- that universe was so kind that the players there could not win and had to scratch, after all.

The queen would, of course, be a Celestia.
You'd come up with some mapping from the 12 featured ancestor trolls to the ponies.
Just as all the Lai "ponies" are different for the Lai species, so too all the ponies here would be some type of troll.

(Meanwhile, I am going to re-read LSB #1 again. Didn't we see most of these Sweeties there? Doesn't that mean our Sweetie should have already known them?)

[keybounce]

Minor typo (how has it lasted this long?)
> Fluttershy was having none of this. Her Lord was here, and he knew she was her high priestess. She could direct him.

She was *his* high priestess.

[keybounce]

Alright, done.

40k words. On my computer, not my kindle.

I normally read anything more than 3K on my kindle. It's easier to read e-ink than LCD or plasma screen.

You got me here with that youtube link.
You kept me here with a desire to comment on the story as it unfurled.

And, I kept waiting ... Waiting.

It never came.

Where is the reference to "The Word"?

Alright, now to read everyone else's comments, and then re-read this 4-world mess, try to keep it all straight.

And then re-read LSB 1.

[GMBlackjack]

9825734
The... word?

What do you mean?

-GM, master of Comedians.

[keybounce]

9825750
The word?

Well, don't you know about the word?

Everybody knows that The Bird is The Word

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXLqMB6vBic

(For some reason, I thought this was a Chuck Barry song.)

(GRR. If I go to my messages, read yours, and reply, it assumes I'm posting to the last chapter written. I had to delete and repost to get this on the right chapter.)

[keybounce]

There are 4 abridged series? I only knew of "FiW".

Hmm...

"Just tell me that there are 5 abridged series".
"There are FOUR abridged series!"

...

[GMBlackjack]

9825773
9825773
Oooooh, that. I see.

I reference a TOOON of things. You can't expect every reference you can think of to pop up.

-GM, master of BIRD THE WORD.

[keybounce]

Maybe not everything. But "The Bird is The Word" is something I grew up with for decades. Well, spanning decades. Mid-70's to mid-80's and occasionally in the 90's.

Also, for some reason, "The Commedians" makes me think of either Three Stooges or Marx Brothers. Let me google that:

Nope, a 67 movie and a 71 TV show. Foo.

[hauntu4ever]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcBNxuKZyN4&feature=youtu.be&t=1m54s

I feel like I should point out that this link takes you to timestamp 1:54. Not sure if that was intentional, but if not, now you know

[GMBlackjack]

10021596
It is, it's the opening "FRIENDS!" which plays into the set up of the joke previously.

-GM, master of FRIEEEENDS.

[Phara_mine]

That's too much insanity to read in one go, even with a little breaks I was making
*Sigh* I need a bigger break now, and I have a st lot of homework to do aaaarrrgh

[kistecool]

“A- crud, you’re right, Spike. But wait, he hate’s Celestia…”

Hates,

[Sea Song]

What a glorious heap of fanservice! Thank you for doing this so thoroughly!

[DJMEGAMOUTH]

And the league of sweetie belles is formed.

[My name is R]

“In case we need to deal with the 4^th dimensional being,” Luna said. “Which I guarantee, he will.

We?

Scooter grinned. “Hey, you know what’d be really convenient right now?”
“What?” Pinkie asked, legitimately confused.
“A demon army coming out of nowhere.”

I had actually forgotten about them somehow, I was almost as surprised as the characters. And it was beautiful.

[Biglulu]

Love the fact that Thrackerzod and Sweetie Bot joined the team.

[RoboRed]

Well...that was long and crazy chaotic, but fun.

Also hey, the birth of the LSB!