I like the different ideas you had for necromancy, using things like rituals and gems instead of casting spells.
The story seems interesting so far, and it's pretty good for a first attempt at writing. The story does have a few problems with it, but I assume that with enough practice and time, the problems I mention probably won't even matter. You'll become better as time passes and you keep writing.
One potential problem is probably pacing and chapter size. A whole ton of stuff is happening, and it's all being stuffed down into chapters around 1000 words long, give or take. The result is a whole lot of action and such, and not much else.
That's a problem with 1000 word chapters sometimes. They either have a really fast pace due to cramming, or not much progress and it becomes a filler chapter. Around 2000 words is what I would recommend as a good minimum amount.
You could also try making the dialogue more lively. Make it seem like they do more than just plain talking. Here's an example: "I don't know" can become He shrugged, "I don't know"
When you do dialogue, use things like "he/she nodded" "he/she asked" "he/she pointed at something" Basically anything that makes the characters feel more alive when they talk.
8515100 Thank you, this is exactly what I needed.. Constructive criticism. English isn't my first language, and I am very bad at writing my ideas down properly. I cannot thank you enough for this.
If you, or someone else provide a name for the golem to have, it would be very much appreciated.
Flesh Golem Companion gained.
8497282
:D
I like the different ideas you had for necromancy, using things like rituals and gems instead of casting spells.
The story seems interesting so far, and it's pretty good for a first attempt at writing. The story does have a few problems with it, but I assume that with enough practice and time, the problems I mention probably won't even matter. You'll become better as time passes and you keep writing.
One potential problem is probably pacing and chapter size. A whole ton of stuff is happening, and it's all being stuffed down into chapters around 1000 words long, give or take. The result is a whole lot of action and such, and not much else.
That's a problem with 1000 word chapters sometimes. They either have a really fast pace due to cramming, or not much progress and it becomes a filler chapter. Around 2000 words is what I would recommend as a good minimum amount.
You could also try making the dialogue more lively. Make it seem like they do more than just plain talking.
Here's an example:
"I don't know" can become He shrugged, "I don't know"
When you do dialogue, use things like "he/she nodded" "he/she asked" "he/she pointed at something"
Basically anything that makes the characters feel more alive when they talk.
8515100
Thank you, this is exactly what I needed.. Constructive criticism. English isn't my first language, and I am very bad at writing my ideas down properly. I cannot thank you enough for this.
If you, or someone else provide a name for the golem to have, it would be very much appreciated.