Former Disneigh Babe

EVelvet's Time at Disneigh
MLP: FiM
Slice of Life
Twilight Velvet plays Princess Snow Veil and is adored by all. The Disneigh park is her life and she couldn't ask for more.
Crossover
Twilight Velvet
Creativa-Artly01 · 11k words · 11 1 · 320 views

Twilight Velvet tells Twilight, Shining, Cadence, and Flurry all about her time as the Disneigh Princess, Snow Veil (the pony equivalent of Snow White). The others listen on in curiosity. They are so excited to finally hear what Twilight Velvet did before she married Nightlight.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 7 )

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Scholarly-Cimmerian

Scholarly-Cimmerian #1 · Feb 22nd, 2018 · · ·

This is fun idea for a story, but you really need to break up Velvet's reminiscences, and put them down into more manageable paragraphs. I enjoyed reading her recollections about working as Snow Veil, but the sheer size of the paragraphs made them into a wall of text that could put off other readers.

But still, I think this was a cute read, and I'm glad I found this story. Just needs a bit of polish, I think.

Creativa-Artly01

Creativa-Artly01 #2 · Feb 22nd, 2018 · · ·

8750682
Thanks for the advice. I was trying to get the idea out before it left my mind, so I was speed typing and didn't think about spacing. I'll slow down next time. Thanks for the tip.

Creativa-Artly01